Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us $3,400 per month for bandwidth bills alone, and since we don't believe in shoving popup ads to our registered users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
«12 »
  • Post
  • Reply
cda
Jan 2, 2010



Bar set high, drat

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020

If you're struggling to hear the poem out loud, it can be fit into the tune of "Skip to my Lou."

That's not how I heard it in my head, but it works.

Yoruichi
Sep 21, 2017

Time for tea and Thunderdome

In

Yoruichi
Sep 21, 2017

Time for tea and Thunderdome

Home on the Open Sea

The sailor's life's not the life for me
So I’m sailing home from the open sea
Where the prettiest girl she waits for me
In a land far away from the open sea

Her eyes are blue like the cloudless sky
And her breasts a sight to see
The men stand up straight when she goes by
So I'm sailing home from the open sea

No the sailor's life's not the life for me
My wandering days are done
I'll carouse no more with the lasses free
And have no more need of fun

Oh I'm sailing home from the open sea
I see the land ahead
Where the prettiest girl she waits for me
By the church where we'll be wed

The black gulls swoop and joyful cry
‘On the ocean we're all free!’
There's virgin ports yet for the lads and I
So I'm sailing home to the open sea

cptn_dr
Sep 7, 2011

It's just so good!


Ahoy! After much deliberation (and also our entire country going on lockdown and the world falling neck-deep into some poo poo), the judges have come to an agreement.

Azza wins, Yoruichi HMs.

Both judges really enjoyed both entries, and neither shanty was without its flaws, but we think that Azza's just slightly edged in a victory. You should both be pleased with yourselves though.

(We apologize for the delay in judging, and squarely pin the blame on *gestures at everything)

Azza, please pick up your Crown of Starfish at the earliest convenience. Ahoy!

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020

I just want to thank everyone who turned up to witness my amazing victory.

And now on to the prompt:

A Peculiar Feeling

I want this week (and a few days) to be a bit of fun and something that's hopefully not intimidating at all.

I want you to write me a Limerick. I'm not requiring crude humor, but I'm not going to ban it either. The only real requirement is that it's a poem of five lines following the traditional meter and rhyming pattern of a limerick.

Have fun!

Hellrule: If you want a challenging flash, I'll give you the first line of the limerick which will read something like "There once was a [man/woman] [called/from] [flash]" remember, this line will determine most of your poem's rhymes, so flash at your peril.

I'm giving you until 23:00 PST on the 14th

Judges

Old Ladies From Ealing

Saucy Rodent - Flash "There once was a man from Beijing"

sephiRoth - Flash "There once was a woman named Laura"

Djeser

Thranguy - Flash "There once was a man from Peru"

Doctor Eckhart - Flash "There once was a woman called Kia"

Cda

Yoruichi

Azza Bamboo fucked around with this message at 16:15 on Apr 12, 2020

Saucy_Rodent
Oct 24, 2018

I'm not a rat, I swear! If I'm any rodent, it's the loyal capybara -- king of the rats!

no, wait


flash me daddy

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020

Saucy_Rodent posted:

flash me daddy

There once was a man from Beijing

sephiRoth IRA
Jun 13, 2007

"Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan


I’ll play with flash

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020

sephiRoth IRA posted:

I’ll play with flash

There once was a woman named Laura

Djeser
Mar 22, 2013



limerink

Thranguy
Apr 21, 2010


In and flash

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020

Thranguy posted:

In and flash

There once was a man from Peru

Doctor Eckhart
Dec 23, 2019

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020

In, and flash me

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020

Doctor Eckhart posted:

In, and flash me

There once was a woman called Kia

cda
Jan 2, 2010


There was a fine fellow from Wuhan
Who liked to take naps with the news on
Dreaming, to his chagrin
Of a pert pangolin
He awoke, crying"I've hosed my futon!"

Djeser
Mar 22, 2013



There Once Was a Hydra from Lerna

Once, quaffing too many a flagon
I courted a three-headed dragon
I took him to bed
And found his fourth head
(And fifth, and the sixth) in the shagging.

sephiRoth IRA
Jun 13, 2007

"Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan


Can I replace “woman” with something different, or would that break the flash?

Yoruichi
Sep 21, 2017

Time for tea and Thunderdome

Go Away Rona

There once was a virus called Rona
Her arrival gave preppers a boner
But as she swept round the world
So much trouble unfurled
Now in lock down I wish this was over

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020

sephiRoth IRA posted:

Can I replace “woman” with something different, or would that break the flash?

I'm not going to disqualify you for making an entry with a broken flash, but it does break the flash and that could hurt in tiebreaker situations.

sephiRoth IRA
Jun 13, 2007

"Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan


There once was a woman named Laura
who hosed people based on their aura.
We went out for a flick;
when I showed her my dick
she said “I don’t do fedora”.

Saucy_Rodent
Oct 24, 2018

I'm not a rat, I swear! If I'm any rodent, it's the loyal capybara -- king of the rats!

no, wait


There once was a man from Beijing
Who had trouble regarding may-TING.
He told all the girls
He’d take for a whirl,
“When I enter you may feel a sting.”

Doctor Eckhart
Dec 23, 2019

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020

Azza Bamboo posted:

There once was a woman called Kia

There once was a woman called Kia
Who came in to tell me her fear
I could not assist
I am a dentist
Drilled and said come back next year

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020

Submissions close in 17 hours 48 minutes (11PM PST April 14th). You may enter until the submission deadline without a flash, but entries with a flash are now closed.

Really enjoyed the poems so far.

Thranguy
Apr 21, 2010


There once was a man from Peru
Whose dingus was coiled in a screw
He searched all of the land
For a woman or man
With a hole with the right thread and skew

sephiRoth IRA
Jun 13, 2007

"Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan


I left a word out of the last line!!!

cda
Jan 2, 2010


Thranguy posted:

There once was a man from Peru
Whose dingus was coiled in a screw
He searched all of the land
For a woman or man
With a hole with the right thread and skew

Lol

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020

Subs closed will read and judge within the next hour, crits tomorrow.

Azza Bamboo
Apr 7, 2018

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020

Firstly I want to say that every entry at least made me chuckle, so nobody's limerick was an outright fail where it really counts - the humor.

The WIN goes to Djeser. I think going for the vulgar/sexual themes always pays dividends in the realm of limericks, and the best way to do that is to have your reveal in the last line. It's very effective and got a laugh from me.

HMs go to Thranguy, for writing something with fantastic comic imagery, and to Yoruichi for a very well executed poem.

DM goes to SephiRoth for a poem that slightly drops the ball on the meter, but that spared itself from a loss for its strong second line.

The Loss goes to SaucyRodent. I didn't particularly go for the stress on May-Ting, although I understand that being dealt "Beijing" as a flash is partly to blame. Also I felt like the sting wasn't particularly as well developed as the stories in other limericks this week.

Thranguy
Apr 21, 2010


Prompt?

Djeser
Mar 22, 2013



Sorry, due to The Everything I've been a bit busy.

Prompt will be up by afternoon today.

Djeser
Mar 22, 2013



A clever title for this prompt isn't coming to mind so welcome to Rhyme About Animals.

This round of Poem Dome, you're going to write poetry about animals. Write it from an animal's perspective, or not. Use a real one, or a mythological one. Only one rule on the form: the last two lines must form a rhyming couplet. The rest can be free verse or rhymed, up to you.

200 word limit.
Enter by the end of Wednesday, May 13 and submit by the end of Friday, May 15.

Judges:
Djeser

Entrants:
sephiRoth IRA
Thranguy
Your beautiful username here

Djeser fucked around with this message at 16:56 on May 9, 2020

sephiRoth IRA
Jun 13, 2007

"Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan


Yeah, I can make up some stuff about cats or bears or catbears or whatever

Thranguy
Apr 21, 2010


In

Thranguy
Apr 21, 2010


Manticore

It's easy for
A manticore
To live a life
Alone

With lion's mane
To make him vain
So stylishly
Windblown

And venomed sting
Paralyzing
His prey before
It's flown

And last, a face
The likes as grace
King Richard on
His throne

The manticore
Pure carnivore
Devours meat
And bone

He doesn't see a friend unmet or partner for a deal.
But looks at everything he sees as servant or as meal.

sephiRoth IRA
Jun 13, 2007

"Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan


Return Of the King

I rub on face and snarled fur,
your face distinguished in its gray.
My hands are dwarfed by paws
that stalked the salmon streams.
I feel your bones, old like oak,
and see your river stone eyes;
your body boulder-like in its stillness.
No breath remains to huff your calls
or strength to pace your castle halls.

Djeser
Mar 22, 2013



After spending the requisite two weeks quarantine after coming into contact with infectious material (your poems) I can finally announce the RESULTS

Thranguy wins, which means the only other entrant, sephiRoth IRA, is the loser. It's a difficult pick, since the poems are very different, but there was just a little more warmth in my heart for Manticore.

Or maybe that's just the palpitations. Crits coming up as soon as I type them up.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Djeser
Mar 22, 2013



Thranguy - Manticore

The meter here is probably what got you the win. There's one line that's out of place (par-RA-ly-zing?) but even the last lines, despite being much longer, are still using the rhythm of the earlier stanzas. It's easy to follow, if somewhat straightforward, aside from the King Richard bit, which threw me off a little on my first read as I was trying to parse the phrasing--I guess I don't know whether he was a particularly handsome or ugly king. (I'm assuming it's Richard because of the lion connection.) The rhythm and subject here remind me of a satirical poem, though if I'm grading on that curve I think leaning harder into the 'character' of the manticore would give the last stanza more punch.

sephiRoth IRA - Return Of the King

The meter here goofed me up good. I think the thing is that the first two lines are (as far as I can tell, I'm bad at this sort of thing) iambic, but then after that it's free verse, until the end which goes back to a stricter meter. That sort of structure could work I think if the opening and closing were stronger and more separate from the lines in between, but I didn't see any shift in what you were saying to match the change in form between lines two and three. (The closing couplet does a bit better at distinguishing itself.) Also, it took me a moment to suss out whose face and whose fur we're talking about in the first and second lines, since until I hit that 'your' I assumed it was the narrator's. There's good phrases in there, but I just had a little more trouble parsing it than I did the other poem this week.

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply
«12 »