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Innit 2 winnit
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# ¿ Nov 13, 2019 16:47 |
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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 02:04 |
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Prompt: photo digging through old photo albums after the funeral No one’s in this one save a reflection, a ghost of a ghost of a ghost tossed, lost, forgotten for artly statued smiles worthy of binding. Saucy_Rodent fucked around with this message at 03:45 on Nov 16, 2019 |
# ¿ Nov 16, 2019 03:10 |
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Edited just to add prompt, poem unaltered
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# ¿ Nov 16, 2019 03:46 |
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In
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# ¿ Nov 22, 2019 00:36 |
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Bitch you stole my excerpt
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# ¿ Nov 26, 2019 22:10 |
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Olivia Something I tell you someone will remember us in the future. -Sappho (fragment) A cemetery lies, small, fenced-in, behind yoga rooms, dog barbers, kiddy dojos, whose graves sit, carved fresh with cartooned guitars, paintbrushes, a smiley-face by a girl’s name and child’s dates. Her name is gone from newspapers and books, torn from every body now that worms have ate the one beneath, and ripped from every face except a circle two dots a line, and it lives now only here.
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# ¿ Nov 27, 2019 18:13 |
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Oh, and Lofi, brawl me.
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# ¿ Nov 27, 2019 22:24 |
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He him his, you?
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# ¿ Nov 28, 2019 06:19 |
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POEMDOME WEEK III: BATTLE RAPS Get your crews together, cuz it’s a WAR WEEK. You will be split into two teams and pitted against one of your opponents. If you write a better poem than your sparring partner, your team gets a point. The team with the most points wins. Only poems from the winning team are eligible for the ultimate win. Only poems from the losing team are eligible for the loss. You will be composing the lyrics of a diss track about your opponent. “But Saucy,” you say. “I can’t rap without a beat.” Lucky for you, four years ago I had the single whitest idea in history and wanted to record a rap album that heavily sampled Zbigniew Preisner’s Requiem for my Friend. Without any audio experience whatsoever, I created three of the most dogshit beats imaginable before getting bored with the idea. Your rap will be backed by one of the three following tracks: Eternal Light: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B2l0rFYKjjo-bzhLOGs5REh0WDQ/view?usp=drivesdk The shortest of the three. All I did to make this one was put a drum beat under the song. Cynic: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B2l0rFYKjjo-OGMwNVNlc0c1TDg/view?usp=drivesdk This is the first one I made. It’s technically the worst, since I had no idea what I was doing, but know what? I think it’s a jam. Tears: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B2l0rFYKjjo-c3JDX1pIUDh1Tzg/view?usp=drivesdk What’s even going on with this one? I think I was going for a NiN vibe? I don’t know. If memory serves, that really high-pitched instrument is a sample of a woman screaming? You and your opponent will have the same track. Pick your top two and I’ll try to make everything work out. If you join without picking a beat, I’ll pick one for you. Please occasionally note the times in the track you’re rapping (after every line would be nice) to when you post them, as well as the lengths of breaks between verses. Please sign up by Sunday at Noon Central US time. I’ll have your crews up by Sunday night. Raps due 1159 Wednesday US Central. Judges: Rappers:
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# ¿ Nov 28, 2019 20:38 |
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Should be fixed
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# ¿ Nov 28, 2019 21:03 |
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I’ll also do poem rules if you ask. It always said poem and nothing else. Saucy_Rodent fucked around with this message at 22:46 on Nov 28, 2019 |
# ¿ Nov 28, 2019 22:42 |
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So you believe that crime will rhyme with fine and counting syllables in your line one the tally totals only up to nine! Tis no one’s wonder that you didn’t stun the judges in the round that I did dom. The scoreboard: you dm’d and I have won! While fornicating with your (lovely) mom she told me how you used to poo poo your pants. Your schoolyard chums thus called you “poopy bomb.”
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# ¿ Nov 29, 2019 17:52 |
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Hey, since participation is low, I’m taking off the War Week part. You can pick any of the beats and rap about whatever you please.
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# ¿ Nov 30, 2019 20:47 |
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Whole thing, but there are plenty of bridges in each of them.
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# ¿ Nov 30, 2019 22:16 |
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Everyone who entered submitted. Judging shouldn’t take long, I’ll see if weltlich agrees with my takes.
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# ¿ Dec 5, 2019 06:17 |
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RESULTS Neither of the judges could get a handle on lofi’s poorly formatted flow. She loses. Jon Joe gets an HM for making something nice with a difficult track. Sephiroth IRA made the most coherent rap. Our glorious founder returns to the poem throne.
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# ¿ Dec 5, 2019 14:26 |
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PROOOOOOOOOMPT
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# ¿ Dec 20, 2019 04:56 |
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In
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# ¿ Dec 20, 2019 17:39 |
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RAP CRITS LOFI Choosing “Eternal Light” may seem like the safest choice because of its length, but it’s so melodic that you have to be really careful. A number of your lines have asymmetrical rhymes, while the beat demands symmetry. None of the judges figured out your flow—you definitely needed more time stamps so we could figure out what words went where. Your lyrics were okay, but raps are about timing, and what was yours, even? SEPH You won mostly because you did what was asked of you when most of your opponents didn’t. You picked words that rhymed in a way that made sense, in a flow we could all follow easily. Thank you. Your lyrics are good, but I wish there was more of a theme outside “insults.” You mention twice that your flow is an ocean, so maybe a nautical thing might have made sense. Also, for your flow to work, you have to rapping quite slowly, but considering how intuitive is was, that ends up being a nitpick. ENT Thanks for actually rapping! It helped us know definitively what you flow was supposed to be. Unfortunately, this barely rhymed, and often didn’t at all. In fact, you could have used your audio rap to show us that it actually did, or at least half rhymed, but chose not to. I wish I could give this an A for effort, but rhyming is too important to overlook. JON JOE I like how you went for something a little more sensitive, it works well with the light, melodic beat. It’s good that you let the beat play between ten and fifteen seconds. The only reason this didn’t win was a touch of awkwardness in rhyming and flow—“appeal to a higher authority” is really jarring after setting up a pretty consistent rhyme scheme. Still, good work.
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# ¿ Dec 27, 2019 00:45 |
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Wonders Beyond Your Vision From the Wikipedia page “Timeline of the Far Future” Moons of Uranus will have collided, the Sun’s luminosity increased. Even without a mass extinction most current species will have disappeared. Earth’s oceans evaporate. Triton falls through Neptune’s limit disintegrating into a planetary ring. Only prokaryotes remain.
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# ¿ Dec 29, 2019 02:58 |
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In
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# ¿ Jan 2, 2020 17:39 |
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Asphaultward Above us strange wonders so clockworkly occur we learned such stupidity to call them boring. So clockworkly occur your daily exhaustions to call them boring keeps you alive. Your daily exhaustions, asphaultward gazing, keep you alive until they don’t. Asphaultward gazing. Above us strange wonders! Until they don’t, we learned such stupidity.
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# ¿ Jan 8, 2020 16:53 |
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In with “but the sky is full of them”
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# ¿ Jan 10, 2020 23:00 |
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A Nightmare in Flesh# Minor Look down at your hands and count your fingers ten eleven twenty one twenty seven thlirty eight slixteen blortynine and they’re coming out of your mouth and you try to bite them off but your teeth are fingers and the tendrils in your lungs are fingers too tearing those balloons from inside and maybe if you could get some air you would be okay again and the sky is the air so you leap up to escape the fingers but you see out of the pupils in your finger- nails that the sky is full of them.
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# ¿ Jan 13, 2020 19:53 |
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In
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# ¿ Jan 25, 2020 06:39 |
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A sun-soaked memory of a hike from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem We came across ruins, not the ancient mosaic marble the tour guides had shown us, but crumbling white concrete. The map says this was an Arab village before 1948 but does not tell us its name; we can’t tell if it was bombed or simply abandoned and left to crumble. We take a moment to explore before climbing up the biggest building in the center of town. We lean on the domed roof and pull our pita and jerkies and dried fruits from our backpacks. There, atop the old mosque, we have a lovely little lunch. The flowers growing from the gravestones are mocking the corpses beneath.
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# ¿ Jan 31, 2020 02:15 |
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Round X: Death poems Write a poem about death or mortality. You may write in any style except free verse. There has to be some sort of rhyming or syllable stuff going on. Due by 11:59 central on Feb. 7th. No due date to sign up. Poets:
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# ¿ Feb 2, 2020 05:07 |
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Just want to make this clear: I will be very liberal with what I consider “not free verse.” Just give me literally anything. A rhyming couplet at the end of a free-verse poem: good. Every other line starts with the same letter? Sure, fine. Just include some linguistic pattern, any at all, to any degree you want except none at all, and you’re golden.
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# ¿ Feb 3, 2020 18:40 |
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Subs closed.
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# ¿ Feb 8, 2020 17:03 |
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RESULTS Lots of poems I liked, none that I loved. The winner is rickiep00h. Their poem isn’t perfect, but it’s certainly the most original of the lot. The loss goes to Azza Bamboo. Nothing terrible, just obviously low effort. I’ll do crits soon. Everyone who judges needs to crit, by the way. These things live or die on how much individual attention writers feel like they get when they submit.
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# ¿ Feb 8, 2020 22:24 |
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Death Crits Anonymous Amalgam Interpretation: the cycle of the seasons mirrors the cycles of life and death. This is technically good. The imagery makes, the point is clear, and it’s a good example of the form. The problem is that using the seasons as a symbol for the circle of life is the opposite of original, and I can’t see what your version adds to the symbolism. Where’s the new Anonymous Amalgam here? What’s your take on the wheel of death and rejuvenation? Low mid. ArbitraryFairy Interpretation: anxieties of death intrude when we have no waking activities to distract ourselves with. This is pretty good. I like the ideas presented here, I can relate to thoughts of mortality intruding during moments of complete stillness. Your word choice evokes a certain sadness, you make a rhyme that doesn’t sound too sing-songy. Well done. I think this is missing a sense of progression; I don’t think the poem would be changed much by changing the order of the stanzas. There’s some redundancy here—the third and fourth stanzas has no ideas that are not present in the first, for instance. To improve this, you’ll have to kill a darling and pick just one of them. High mid. Sephiroth IRA Interpretation: our physical bodies are returned to the cosmos at death. This may have won had you not tried to convince me “forbode” could rhyme with “borrowed” without making one of them sound weird. I like the contrast between the cosmic grandiosity of your imagery and the lyrical, almost comical rhyme/syllable scheme. You also balance nihilism and hope nicely. The necessary fatalism doesn’t end up being too depressing. High. rickiep00h Interpretation: the narrator wishes to die peacefully and unexpectedly. This is the only poem here where the imagery feels both exacting and completely original. It would be easy to be explicit about your themes, but you wrote something more vivid and elusive than that, and you won for it. Sometimes your line breaks don’t quite feel intentional, like you got to ten syllables and started your next line regardless of whether that worked in the context of the poem. Also, I will die on the hill of pronouncing “admire” with three syllables, and thus your fourth line is eleven syllables. Shoulda disqualified you for free verse. High, obviously Maugrim Interpretation: the narrator tries to explain death to their child, and it’s not registering. I’m not sure what you’re going for with your rhyme and syllable scheme, feels sing-songy in some places and overly clunky in others. Also couldn’t tell whether this was supposed to be sad or funny, and it didn’t achieve the elusive “both.” The progression of the story is good. The last line seems cruel, and doesn’t really add to the themes of the rest of the poem. Low mid. Azza Bamboo Interpretation: unclear Limericks have a bouncy rhythm that lend themselves to comedy, but this feels too serious for the form. I’m not exactly sure what’s going on here, not in a mysterious way but a literal one; it’s incoherent. But at least it’s pleasant to read and hear aloud. Low mid. cda (disqualified) Late poem, short crit. Don’t get what the mythology references are for. I like the second half of the poem that’s a little more forthcoming with your ideas.
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# ¿ Feb 9, 2020 04:27 |
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Maugrim posted:Fair crit, thanks Saucy, no complaints there! Every line had ten syllables except, artfully, the last (even if I insist “admire” is three). It isn’t much, but I said it didn’t have to be.
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# ¿ Feb 9, 2020 15:41 |
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cda, you’ve made several posts, including an effortful poem, but none of them are a prompt.
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# ¿ Feb 19, 2020 17:58 |
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In
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# ¿ Feb 29, 2020 02:55 |
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flash me daddy
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# ¿ Apr 5, 2020 02:44 |
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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 02:04 |
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There once was a man from Beijing Who had trouble regarding may-TING. He told all the girls He’d take for a whirl, “When I enter you may feel a sting.”
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# ¿ Apr 12, 2020 20:43 |