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Probably the finest beating I received as a kid was totally warranted. After being specifically told, in no uncertain terms, to not play baseball in my grandparents yard, ever, because a window might get broken. You can probably guess the rest. My grandfather was a hard-rear end ww2 and Korean war p51 pilot and though he was a good guy when I got to know him when I was an adult he wasn't great with kids. We were pretty much terrified of the guy. And me being me, I shot a baseball right through the window where he was watching football. On thanksgiving. We still tell that story on thanksgiving. My younger brother also caught a beating for that as he was pitching.
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Nov 20, 2019 04:49
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Not many spankings, generally we'd get stuff thrown at us which I think nicely combined senseless anger with not giving enough of a gently caress to even come over to where I was to hit me.
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Nov 20, 2019 04:52
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Myron Baloney posted:Not many spankings, generally we'd get stuff thrown at us which I think nicely combined senseless anger with not giving enough of a gently caress to even come over to where I was to hit me. This is my new moderation approach.
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Nov 20, 2019 05:03
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Burt Sexual posted:This is a c/p unattributed, someone post the link. No man I just got regularly beat and hit as a kid and it hosed me up for years I dunno why that seems hard to believe.
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Nov 20, 2019 05:08
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:Also makes you distrustful of authority figures, teachers, and adults. I was defiant as poo poo and mostly only because it was my gut reaction and not out of any reasonable resistance to unreasonable demands. I assumed every adult or authority figure was probing me, just waiting for me to gently caress up and do something wrong, so I inherently distrusted them and avoided communicating with them meaningfully. Adults seemed alien and antagonistic to me well into my teens, probably long after they were humanized for other kids. Even when teachers were nice to me for doing well there was always a barrier. I wasn't spanked as a kid so I learned to distrust authority figures the right way: by plainly witnessing their incompetence and realizing that they weren't any smarter or better than us, just more experienced and in control of power
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Nov 20, 2019 05:08
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I remember these, not fondly, but well. My mom would go to town with a ruler, and it didn't really *hurt*, but it kind of sucked cause I could tell she didn't want to. Then I got the dreaded "Wait till your Dad gets home." Then it'd be the belt, on the rear end. He went off the handle sometimes, and would go a bit further, but nothing insane (by 80's standards). I remember one time my mom broke a yard stick over my rear end. We were outside and it was cold, so I thinks that why it broke. I just started laughing, ... then she did, too. Almost goddamn wholesome. She did like to grab me by the jaw, and dig in her nails to be all like "LOOK AT ME!" And my pops would do the same thing, like pinning me against the wall and yelling. And gently caress, I couldn't help but start to smile and giggle just because he looked so loving pissed over whatever stupid thing it was. .. That is when things got kinda lovely. It was basically a young rear end punk getting yelled at by some loving loser that was going insane right in front of them. I found it hilarious. .. No kids, but if I had some, I'd probably just pick them up and spin them until they're sick or some poo poo. whooooo knooooooows
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Nov 20, 2019 05:09
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:No man I just got regularly beat and hit as a kid and it hosed me up for years I dunno why that seems hard to believe. I'm so sorry that happened to you.
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Nov 20, 2019 05:10
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As soon as the palm gets close you had to spurt out a fat rancid dook on it. My parents never raised a hand to me again.
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Nov 20, 2019 05:11
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I don't remember being spanked as a child. But I have vivid memories of being threatened to be spanked. Basically if me or my brother, wouldn't finish our dinner, or were doing something untoward, then mum would bring out the wooden spoon and put it on the kitchen table and meaningfully look at it. This generally quietened us down. Although we must have been hit with it at least once for it to have put such the fear of god into us
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Nov 20, 2019 05:11
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blight rhino posted:I remember these, not fondly, but well. My mom would go to town with a ruler, and it didn't really *hurt*, but it kind of sucked cause I could tell she didn't want to. And this other time, I was around 17, he pushed me against the wall. I pushed back and tripped him. THEN RAN FOR MY loving LIFE. I can still hear my Mom yelling in the distance "B.R.'s Dad, STOP! Just STOP!" and I hid in the woods, then lived at a friends house for like 3 weeks. Haahaaaahaaaa..... good times. 
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Nov 20, 2019 05:12
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My older sister beat the poo poo out of me and I still have scars all over my arms from her. My parents were too overwhelmed with life and taking care of my other siblings so I was always told to man up and take care of myself. I'm 30 and still have a deep seated fear that anyone in my life can arbitrarily hurt me with no warning. I should probably get therapy but eh... I'm doing alright
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Nov 20, 2019 05:13
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my dog died im sad posted:I'm so sorry that happened to you. Thanks, I'm just glad I came out without internalizing it as normal or "having made me stronger" which never ceases to depress the poo poo out of me when I read that response to physical punishment.
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Nov 20, 2019 05:15
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PIZZA.BAT posted:My older sister beat the poo poo out of me and I still have scars all over my arms from her. My parents were too overwhelmed with life and taking care of my other siblings so I was always told to man up and take care of myself. I'm 30 and still have a deep seated fear that anyone in my life can arbitrarily hurt me with no warning. I should probably get therapy but eh... I'm doing alright  How tf is there not a :hug:
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Nov 20, 2019 05:18
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:No man I just got regularly beat and hit as a kid and it hosed me up for years I dunno why that seems hard to believe. And I apologize sincerely. You’re usually not as open on these forums, and I misread the post. I hope you are doing fine now, despite bad parents, and continue to post funny poo poo here.
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Nov 20, 2019 05:21
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:Thanks, I'm just glad I came out without internalizing it as normal or "having made me stronger" which never ceases to depress the poo poo out of me when I read that response to physical punishment. Yeah, I think we just kind of considered it normal. So, hopefully, not too much emotional damage there. I feel you.
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Nov 20, 2019 05:22
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Burt Sexual posted:And I apologize sincerely. You’re usually not as open on these forums, and I misread the post. I hope you are doing fine now, despite bad parents, and continue to post funny poo poo here. Part of addressing the issue is enough people hearing the reality of it so it's harder for them to ignore, especially in an era where you nonstop see bewildering memes making a joke of being threatened with physical harm by your parents, like the whole "la chancla." It's probably because of the degree to which I had it, so the people who likely had a much milder example of physical punishment just seem far more blaise about something that always come off as a powder keg to me. Even as the psychology of the kid is warped, so is that of the parent's. It's no different than anything else, a lot of them feel emboldened by it and will ramp up severity if no one else in the community takes notice or takes them to task for it. It's similar to how a wife-beater might escalate in severity, my dad wasn't always as bad as he was. It's also easy to became reliant on it because it's such a "quick" fix. You can either sit there practicing agonizing levels of patience trying to reason with and properly communicate with a child, which takes great effort, time, and empathy, or whack them and have them "behave" immediately.
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Nov 20, 2019 05:30
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:Thanks, I'm just glad I came out without internalizing it as normal or "having made me stronger" which never ceases to depress the poo poo out of me when I read that response to physical punishment. ...  Well gently caress, man. Also for the record, occasionally spanked/hit which should be noted as impressive to recall considering both long and short-term memory has been short-circuited due to concussions and various anti-depressants/mood stabilizers. Mostly I just got yelled at with an unfortunate frequency and volume.
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Nov 20, 2019 05:40
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:Part of addressing the issue is enough people hearing the reality of it so it's harder for them to ignore, especially in an era where you nonstop see bewildering memes making a joke of being threatened with physical harm by your parents, like the whole "la chancla." I think I can kind of relate, because it makes you become more emotionally aware of the people around you. Like who is about to pop off, or take things to another level. it's still pretty horrible for a child to have to deal with that, but I think it teaches you something not a lot of folks would pick up on. 
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Nov 20, 2019 05:41
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Beaten pretty badly on the regular by both parents. Then they divorced and my mom decided her hand wasn't getting the job done and began using a yard stick against the back of my legs. I was forced to wear long pants in the summer sometimes to hide the welts and bruises. Good times...
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Nov 20, 2019 05:43
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Not at all. My parents were basically like "Try not to be a gently caress up, but if you do gently caress up at least be smart enough about it that the cops don't come knocking on the door". Fortunately I was a smart kid. In the end I turned out to have a big heart and am super considerate and kind to people I care about (which is anyone who doesn't give me a reason to dislike them), and I have no time for people that gently caress me over in the tiniest way, so I'm also not a patsy. On the other hand I have zero respect for authority. So over all I guess their methods were pretty solid.
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Nov 20, 2019 05:49
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Giant_Pupils posted:Beaten pretty badly on the regular by both parents. Then they divorced and my mom decided her hand wasn't getting the job done and began using a yard stick against the back of my legs. I was forced to wear long pants in the summer sometimes to hide the welts and bruises. Good times... You too, Friendo 
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Nov 20, 2019 05:50
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blight rhino posted:You too, Friendo Thanks but it's all good. In fact, the experience guaranteed I'd never spank either of my kids and they're better off for it. So in a way, maybe it was for the best.
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Nov 20, 2019 05:53
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I don't think there's value in hitting kids at all. They're too young and helpless to get anything from something like that. Adults, on the other hand, can deserve a solid rear end kicking and I think there's plenty of them out there that should catch one.
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Nov 20, 2019 05:57
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blight rhino posted:I think I can kind of relate, because it makes you become more emotionally aware of the people around you. Like who is about to pop off, or take things to another level. it's still pretty horrible for a child to have to deal with that, but I think it teaches you something not a lot of folks would pick up on. It can make you oversensitive. Some abused kids are really withdrawn and avoid conflict, they're the ones who will avoid confrontation or getting hit at any cost so they can misread non-threatening situations or body language as threatening. Then there are others, like me, who constantly got into fights or confrontations because I thought people were loving with me when they likely weren't. It can warp your perception of human interactions. It took awhile for me to take things people say at face value versus constantly second guessing their intentions because I was conditioned to expect antagonism.
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Nov 20, 2019 05:59
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:It can make you oversensitive. Some abused kids are really withdrawn and avoid conflict, they're the ones who will avoid confrontation or getting hit at any cost so they can misread non-threatening situations or body language as threatening. Then there are others, like me, who constantly got into fights or confrontations because I thought people were loving with me when they likely weren't. Yeah, i definitely went the opposite direction than you. i'd try to diffuse everything because it always feels like "mom and dad are fighting, again". luckily, I got a sense of humor, so if people are loving with me, I just roll with it. I'd be one of them self-deprecating comics, if I ever went that sort of route. .. Some loving therapy posts, up in this binch. 
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Nov 20, 2019 06:07
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:
This is very insightful and actually made me pause for a moment. This is absolutely me. I still struggle with this at least once a week.
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Nov 20, 2019 06:08
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I was never spanked by my parents. They had normal punishments like making me sit in the corner or secluding me to my room. I think I turned out pretty okay. Spanking kids is literal abuse and the worst thing to do. I hate Boomers for normalizing spanking and I'm glad my generation has denounced it.
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Nov 20, 2019 06:16
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Yes my parents spanked me as a child when I was bad. As an adult I beg for it. I've been bad, I need to be punished by a leather-clad dommy-mommy.
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Nov 20, 2019 06:22
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Cough Drop The Beat posted:I was never spanked by my parents. They had normal punishments like making me sit in the corner or secluding me to my room. I think I turned out pretty okay. Spanking kids is literal abuse and the worst thing to do. I hate Boomers for normalizing spanking and I'm glad my generation has denounced it. I will have to say, in addition to the poo poo I had to deal with.. I was also secluded to my room, and I had to sit on my bed, and couldn't do anything but read. No radio, no nothing. I just read books and books and books. I'll thank my folks for that. Still pretty horrible punishment when you were the kid that always ran outside and played in the woods, or neighborhood with other kids. But, reading is probably the least worst punishment I had to deal with. 
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Nov 20, 2019 06:24
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Yep, not fun. Lots of hits with a big old leather belt. Bruises so bad I was not allowed to wear shorts to gym class. Lots of trying to get away only for it to be worse. Nice clear memory of being thrown into a wall at the age of 6 or 7 when I had trouble learning how to read then getting the belt. Years and years of it. Did not end till my brother threatened to bash my mother if she ever did it again. He now hates me after I cut off contact with my family for years. I felt almost nothing when cancer got her this year. My daughter is 17 now and I have never even raised my voice at her.
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Nov 20, 2019 06:25
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My dad had serious anger issues, so much so that he spent time in jail for losing control. When he was released, he wanted to treat us the same way, but my mom and I had healed up quite a bit and I had grown up enough to punch back. My mom was brave enough to divorce my dad and we escaped to safety. Kids today just need to be told "No" and taught problem solving skills, beatings not required. gently caress.
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Nov 20, 2019 06:34
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I was spanked like 3 times, maybe Always by Dad. It was the nuclear option of punishment, and if I can recall correctly that pretty much meant lying. The worst part of it was not mild pain involved, but rather how obviously distressed it made my father. There was an intrinsic element of fairness and justice to it - I knew I was in the wrong, and the punishment was expected and delivered with no malice or enjoyment, but rather a deep sadness. I know this is something of an outlier, and that corporal punishment is generally a bad idea with poor outcomes, but my own childhood experience was fine. This was in the 1970s, and as others have noted, there was some generational poo poo at play, too.
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Nov 20, 2019 06:36
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Solice Kirsk posted:Wooden spoon with a hole in it for me. When my mom would swing it it would make this low "woooooom" sound.
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Nov 20, 2019 06:36
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Raged posted:Yep, not fun. Wow, same here - up to and including the cancer, although she survived it (three times no less). Now she lives in her big giant house alone and wonders why none of her children want anything to do with her. Not sure which fate is worse tbh. My kids are 10 and 9 and she has never met either of them
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Nov 20, 2019 06:40
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I almost killed my Mother's Dad not because he did anything wrong ... It was a learning experience over drinks even though I can't speak spanish.
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Nov 20, 2019 06:40
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nah but i got plenty of tobasco on my tongue for talking poo poo. once we started licking the rug to get rid of the burn my parents just gave up.
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Nov 20, 2019 06:53
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My dad was a mean military drunk and would knock me around when I got in trouble (which was pretty often). Now we're both old and he's sober and he's mellowed out and we're cool but sometimes the random thought that I still kinda hate him will pop in my head, ya know?
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Nov 20, 2019 06:54
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CaptainSarcastic posted:I was spanked like 3 times, maybe Always by Dad. It was the nuclear option of punishment, and if I can recall correctly that pretty much meant lying. The worst part of it was not mild pain involved, but rather how obviously distressed it made my father. There was an intrinsic element of fairness and justice to it - I knew I was in the wrong, and the punishment was expected and delivered with no malice or enjoyment, but rather a deep sadness. That's pretty close to how I felt about it. Some how I always thought the worst part was the waiting. I'd get in trouble as some point during the day, so my mother would shut me in my room and tell me to wait until my dad got home. I'd completely shut down unable to do anything. Then my dad would arrive home late at night and the first thing he would hear is I misbehaved and had to be disciplined. It must have sucked for him. After wards I'd be fine if maybe a little sore, but the waiting always hosed me up.
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Nov 20, 2019 07:08
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My dad used to whoop my rear end with a plastic curtain rod or leather belt. We blaze on the reg and watch movies together now.
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Nov 20, 2019 07:13
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I wasn’t spanked, I was straight out beaten. I have a lot of self esteem issues because of it.
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Nov 20, 2019 07:14
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