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SubG
Aug 19, 2004

It's a hard world for little things.


Chalks posted:

it feels like they've been doing this for so long how that it should have all collapsed ages ago and i just don't understand how it's still going. does anyone know what it'll take to actually make tether collapse?
i think most crypto exchanges are probably underwater on their books and they're just constantly juggling poo poo to keep enough cash and crypto on hand to handle withdrawals.

no exchange ever has ever done btc transaction reconciliation on the blockchain for the simple reason that it would be impossible to--the blockchain is slow and lacks the transaction volume to handle a single moderately busy exchange, much less all of them. tether is just a gimmick that lets them do the same thing with cash. in theory a bitcoin exchange is where people can trade cash for bitcoins and vice versa but in practice they're set up to have as little as possible to do with either cash or bitcoins

so they're all just a spreadsheet (probably implemented via babby's first lamp stack) that nobody can look at and the only way to know if they actually have enough bitcoins or dollars to cover the balance in your account is to attempt a withdrawal. and literally every time we've managed to see the internals of any exchange they haven't

i think tether/bitfinex is asymptotically approaching being the nft equivalent of a brokerage account--you pay a bunch of money and they'll provide you a link where you can see a picture of an account that contains a bunch of cash and btc but no, you can't actually do anything with it

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junan_paalla
Dec 29, 2009

Seriously, do drugs


im late to tether chat but the beautiful thing about tether is that they're like crypto casino chips, like if bitcoin is plummeting and your only option is to cash out into tether, there's a huge separation from being able to take your ball of actualmoney and go home. if you want to get off the sidelines and cash out your winnings, you need to buy back into bitcoin and transfer it into one of the few exchanges with banking connections and hey you're buying back in, why not just keep gambling, withdrawal fees are a bitch and you'll be stuck in KYC for weeks and miss out on potential gains. so there's billions of casino chips in the ecosystem that can't actually leave, you can only use your USDT to buy back in instead of taking your dollar-denominated winnings and having them on your bank account, meaning there's always demand for coinz that can actually leave the exchange.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007






https://twitter.com/rezendi/status/1395201154947031040

Chris Knight
Jun 5, 2002

And I'm only saying this because I care.

There are a lot of decaffeinated brands on the market today that are just as tasty as the real thing.




Fun Shoe

the wonderful thing about tethers
is that tethers are wonderful things
their reserves are made out of thin air
and their balance is made out of strings

SYSV Fanfic
Sep 9, 2003


Chris Knight posted:

the wonderful thing about tethers
is that tethers are wonderful things
their reserves are made out of thin air
and their balance is made out of strings

Zamujasa
Oct 27, 2010





Bread Liar

Chris Knight posted:

the wonderful thing about tethers
is that tethers are wonderful things
their reserves are made out of thin air
and their balance is made out of strings

infernal machines
Oct 11, 2012

authorized representative of tarsier-ashpool


Chris Knight posted:

the wonderful thing about tethers
is that tethers are wonderful things
their reserves are made out of thin air
and their balance is made out of strings

kw0134
Apr 19, 2003



tether, that's spell'd T-E-DOUBLE FRAUD-ER!

gschmidl
Sep 3, 2011

it's the journey
not the destination
as we know



"YOU TRIED" DIVISION


Chris Knight posted:

the wonderful thing about tethers
is that tethers are wonderful things
their reserves are made out of thin air
and their balance is made out of strings

Hexyflexy
Sep 2, 2011

asymptotically approaching one



Chris Knight posted:

the wonderful thing about tethers
is that tethers are wonderful things
their reserves are made out of thin air
and their balance is made out of strings

Shame Boy
Mar 2, 2010

THE HORROR
THE HORROR





Boxturret posted:

you call yourself an economist huh? well can you name 50 economies right now without looking it up? yeah i thought not

there's fuel economy, the attention economy, the sexual economy, the rare pepe market...

Juul-Whip
Mar 10, 2008



what was that about porn actors and companies not wanting anything to do with buttcoin bullshit? sounds like they just haven't been pitched the right buttcoin bullshit #ifyouknowyouknow

Luigi Thirty
Apr 30, 2006

Emergency confection port.



Chalks posted:

it feels like they've been doing this for so long how that it should have all collapsed ages ago and i just don't understand how it's still going. does anyone know what it'll take to actually make tether collapse?

the collective delusion continues working as long as they believe in it, so they will continue to believe in it

Shame Boy
Mar 2, 2010

THE HORROR
THE HORROR





once you know, you cumrocket

Boxturret
Oct 3, 2013

XTAL FUCKED AROUND WITH THIS AVATAR AT 04:20 ON JUNE 9, 6969


ah yes, when i think privacy i think of the publicly viewable ledger

Sagebrush
Feb 26, 2012

Well, actually...

"do your own research" is never not a synonym for "i can't defend this if pressed"

Paladinus
Jan 11, 2014






Teether?

Boxturret
Oct 3, 2013

XTAL FUCKED AROUND WITH THIS AVATAR AT 04:20 ON JUNE 9, 6969


Paladinus posted:

70,000 Teether?

Boxturret
Oct 3, 2013

XTAL FUCKED AROUND WITH THIS AVATAR AT 04:20 ON JUNE 9, 6969


i always wonder how all these people do their own research

like the people that fall for an musk scam, they say they looked into it and it seemed legit, but literally all the google results are of how it's a scam

Diva Cupcake
Aug 15, 2005



Combing Twitter for tips is research.
https://twitter.com/litcapital/status/1395862093598007301

text editor
Jan 8, 2007



Juul-Whip posted:

what was that about porn actors and companies not wanting anything to do with buttcoin bullshit? sounds like they just haven't been pitched the right buttcoin bullshit #ifyouknowyouknow



Yeah privacy and deniability is important, I would rather people not know whether I bought lunch or porn with my CumRocket

Boxturret
Oct 3, 2013

XTAL FUCKED AROUND WITH THIS AVATAR AT 04:20 ON JUNE 9, 6969


i'll be honest with you here, i only bought cumrocket, elons sperm, and whale cum because i thought they had good fundamentals and the price would go up asymptotically and i'd never have to work again

Sagebrush
Feb 26, 2012

Well, actually...

i guess it shouldn't surprise me that the crypto people are the ones paying for porn

Fame Douglas
Nov 20, 2013

RELY NOT ON MY HONOR!!! FOR WHEN I OFFER MY WORD OF BOND, I TAKE NOT THAT VOW TO HEART!! CASUALLY, I BRING SHAME TO MY HOUSEHOLD AND RUIN TO THOSE WHO RELY ON MY COMMITMENT, BY SHIRKING MY AVOWED DUTY

"Utility" coins are the best. The utility is always someone imagining that this thing named after something could be used for services in that sector. Remember Dentacoin, apparently on a mission to revolutionize payments for dentistry?

Paladinus
Jan 11, 2014






Boxturret posted:

i always wonder how all these people do their own research

like the people that fall for an musk scam, they say they looked into it and it seemed legit, but literally all the google results are of how it's a scam

They read helpful reviews left by other twitter users. How can so many people lie about getting their coins double? Surely, it's more likely they are telling the truth than there's a grand conspiracy of people lying on the internet about Elon Musk.

Boxturret
Oct 3, 2013

XTAL FUCKED AROUND WITH THIS AVATAR AT 04:20 ON JUNE 9, 6969


what does this sign on this hole here say? "free money, not a scam" wow, that must be too good to be true, i'd better do some more reading on this. "free money" that seems good. "not a scam" well that's good to know. okay i feel i've done the appropriate amount of research to be able to wisely invest my money

Chris Knight
Jun 5, 2002

And I'm only saying this because I care.

There are a lot of decaffeinated brands on the market today that are just as tasty as the real thing.




Fun Shoe

Sagebrush posted:

i guess it shouldn't surprise me that the crypto people are the ones paying for porn
hint: they're not

Boxturret
Oct 3, 2013

XTAL FUCKED AROUND WITH THIS AVATAR AT 04:20 ON JUNE 9, 6969


the people who loudly yell about buying things with bitcoins vanish into the aether once someone actually starts accepting them, only to reappear once they stop accepting bitcoins to harass or dox the store owner

Gazpacho
Jun 18, 2004

NUKE THEIR ASS
TAKE THEIR GAS


Slippery Tilde

tether is like chips at a casino where the bank closes whenever the line gets long and then everyone has to repeat their last bet until it opens.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007






Shame Boy
Mar 2, 2010

THE HORROR
THE HORROR






its insistence that it is in fact food is making me very worried

Shame Boy
Mar 2, 2010

THE HORROR
THE HORROR





anyway that can't possibly be real can i-

https://simply-food.com/products/hodl-noodle-pack

quote:

We raise a cup of our finest noodles to the underdogs who won big — and will continue to win big. Simply Food is proud to share this memento with fellow retail investors.
100% of net profits from the HODL NOODLE will be converted to cryptocurrencies and donated to charities.

god dammit

Shame Boy
Mar 2, 2010

THE HORROR
THE HORROR





100% of net profits will be converted to cryptocurrency for absolutely no reason and then foisted upon charities whether they want it or not

Shame Boy
Mar 2, 2010

THE HORROR
THE HORROR





quote:

LIGHT, FRESH, MUSHROOM UMAMI...WORTHY OF HODLING!
Fiss on May 14, 2021
Some of the best foods I've ever had came to me because of memes, and this is no different. This product is full of a lot of light-hearted fun and love. Shipping was SURPRISINGLY fast coming to Canada, and I appreciate the *EXCELLENT* customer service Simply-Foods provided making sure I could get my box of delicious food. After a few quick e-mails we confirmed shipping to the land of Maple Syrup, Moose and Metric and I appreciate the excellent, prompt help and support!

Preparation is standard Instant Ramen noodles, 3 packets give you the soup base, veggies and oil. The noodles are thin, light and very tasty. Throw some boiling water in and bam, 3 minutes later:

You get a nice, light, umami-forward, salt/spice hint at the end. Chewy-bouncy, delicious noodles. A nice serving size, and...of course, the REAL joy is the smile you have on your face while eating from a cup with a happy Doge going to the moon with the dear Simply-Foods lady! I hope they find much moon-cheese, many spice-rocks and of course, Do Only Good Everyday!! Absolutely some of the nicest insta-ramen/noodles I've eaten, even without the smiles and memes.

In this kitchen, we HODL THE LINE!

Alan Smithee
Jan 3, 2005




*pen and paper*

which part of the Seine was it?

Shame Boy
Mar 2, 2010

THE HORROR
THE HORROR





oh good a blog post about it

https://simply-food.com/blogs/news/...rypto-investors

quote:

Among these financial revolutionaries was the team at Simply Food, one of the largest privately-owned food manufacturers specializing in premium vegetarian instant ramen and rice products. Today, in celebration of those pioneering GameStop investors, Simply Food launches a unique instant noodle bowl to commemorate this epic financial event — the HODL NOODLE. Flavored with mushroom, vegetable seasoning and “the painful tears one sheds from HODL-ing,” this limited edition product is a decidedly satirical and tongue-in-cheek meme brought to life – the perfect meal for our internet age.

...

For Simply Food, HODL NOODLE is not just a chance to have a little fun, but an expression of a very real passion for crypto. “We’re retail investors and we all supported the movement personally by buying and ‘HODL-ing’ both GME and DOGE,” says Simply Food CEO Thang Nguyen-Le. “While an amusing way to get to know the Simply Food brand, we also hope that this brings more awareness to the growing potential of cryptocurrencies as a whole.” In fact, Simply Food is going all-in on their involvement, with all profits from HODL NOODLE to be converted to cryptocurrencies.

i notice they're not being donated anymore for some reason, weird

Alan Smithee
Jan 3, 2005



Gazpacho posted:

tether is like chips at a casino where the bank closes whenever the line gets long and then everyone has to repeat their last bet until it opens.

dealer: *takes chip off your stack*

you: "what the gently caress i didnt put that on the tip line!"

dealer: "haircut. Casino got heisted"

Alan Smithee
Jan 3, 2005



Shame Boy posted:

100% of net profits will be converted to cryptocurrency for absolutely no reason and then foisted upon charities whether they want it or not

oh what a shame crypto crashed we're not profitable this week

we will however donate to the needy

cuz we needy some money!

infernal machines
Oct 11, 2012

authorized representative of tarsier-ashpool


the koalas march principle

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Midjack
Dec 24, 2007






do i want to know why there's an asian lady in a conical hat on the box

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