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KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

raminasi posted:

I thought all technical analysis read like that

if there is a way to make it dumber and more insane, bitcoiners will find it

though I admit that particular example is fairly tame

anyone have the moon phase one handy?

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KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

I like how their example is replacing a tiny non-critical plastic part during a 12-hour intercontinental flight. and the amazing result is "wow, it was ready when we landed!" as though no traditional method could have done the same with 10+ hours to work on it

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

AlbieQuirky posted:

i’m hoarding helium right now

guest room smells weird

vocal pitch going up uP UP

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

Sham bam bamina! posted:

lomarf it's almost like technical analysis is post-hoc bullshit and arbitrary conjecture

but you don't understand. free ross had a hunch that it would go up, and he didn't tell anyone (because he was busy expressing no remorse and being convicted), but then it did go up. that means it wasn't actually a hunch but the work of a genius piercing the veil of the fourth dimension and glimpsing the future.

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

Hammerite posted:

The other day I dreamed that I was wearing an insanely long tie that was way below my belt, and I went to the toilet and it dipped in the toilet and touched the turds, and I was mad that my tie got dirty. Can someone PLEASE tell me how the content of my dream is good for bitcoin because I have been thinking so hard about this and Twitter was VERY unhelpful

your tie represents the blockchain. because it is longest, it is the best and truest. but sometimes the burden of that truth is that your tie (blockchain) touches some lovely water (child pornography)

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

I'm the rare starchosen

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

I used to work in defense contracting and ended up with a couple of coins from some colonel or other

I found one earlier this week when cleaning and literally was like "why the hell do I still have this useless thing" and threw it in the garbage

so anyway that's my challenge coin story

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

EIDE Van Hagar posted:

this is like namedropping but with record keeping. I can’t believe it exists.

if only they had a blockchain, it would be so much more efficient

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

Shame Boy posted:

i bet the kind of people who believe in black helicopter conspiracies are the kind of people who think gitmo is cool and good because we're The Good Guys

yeah, their trust and reverence for the government is well documented

:tinfoil:

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

Shame Boy posted:

yes, constantly

like every week it seems like

build your own "educational" reddit mea culpa. just choose up to 5 of these talking points:

- I've been deep into cryptocurrency for years
- cryptocurrency is just a fun hobby for me, so I don't sweat risk too much
- I know it was too good to be true, but...
- I was up really late and I wasn't thinking clearly
- I tested it with a small amount first to see if it was legit
- there were a bunch of replies saying they'd already claimed theirs so I was worried I'd miss my chance
- I figured it was worth a shot because what if!?!?
- it was only after I'd sent the money that I noticed the screen name was "e1on__muskk"
- oh well, I guess I didn't lose that much in the grand scheme of things
- it was kind of an expensive lesson, but I won't be fooled again
- learn from my mistake

Did I miss any?

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

Shame Boy posted:

to be clear i don't think this particular reporter is even all that enamored with musk, there's just something about that loving rear end in a top hat that makes people turn off all critical thinking

his personal brand is "eccentric rich man who does dumb poo poo for shock value publicity" so incredulity usually means you get scooped

that minute you take wondering whether elmo nusk actually released a rap about harambe three years late is a minute longer someone else is getting all your clicks

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

...! posted:

I have over 24 million worth of crypto but I can’t access it!
(self.legaladvice)
submitted 4 hours ago * by johnporter22

So a wile back I invested in a crypto currency, I started off small investing only $50 which turned out to be an incredibly smart decision considering I made $7,000 two days after investing the $50. So after that I made another transaction and invested $200 which also grow to about $13,400 over a week. It’s been nearly 7 months now and I have invested $2,000 altogether which is now worth more than $24 million. But I’m having trouble accessing it the money, I’ve been doing the these transactions through my personal email address, the person I’m making the transactions with keeps making me pay transaction fees(I’m in America but the person I’m making the transactions with is in India) and I’m starting to get concerned that I’m not going to be able to access this money.

What can I do to access the $24m or at least get back the $2k that I originally invested?

:discourse:

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

I sent a stranger $50 and two days later he emailed me to say it was worth $7000. obviously I'm a genius

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

Shame Boy posted:

i'm the youtube channel that hires staff

you know this is pretty commonplace, right? it's not a weird butter thing?

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

Paladinus posted:

Not for a channel with under 100K subs.

oh. lol

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

Gobbeldygook posted:

so i sometimes use the app rave to watch videos with friends. it works seamlessly on android and supports what i want. tonight i fired it up for the first time in a while and noticed i had fifty tokens and had to spend one to start a stream. i figured they were just monetizing their free app, but my token tally (which is constantly visible at the top of the screen in portrait orientation and is mildly distracting as it increments up in an animated fashion) kept going up, although I think it also went down at times. turns out they are giving me the loving Kik cryptocurrency, kin, for watching videos. the person who joined me started with 0 but had 20 or so by the end of the hour long stream while I had 103.

they are attempting to monetize the app and offer a 'rave premium' for $1.99/month (or less if you buy in bulk), but you can also buy rave premium for 24 hours for 200 kin, so paying them via kin in 24 hour increments would cost 0.0189 USD per month. i explored the app and could not find out what exactly i get with rave premium.

i did NOT touch the poop it touched me

these kin people really need to watch that episode of sunny in philly where they give away "paddy's dollars" to try to start a self-sustaining economy

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

Shame Boy posted:

look timmy hasn't been pulling his weight re: the dishes, how else am i going to extract value from him

the only explicit example I know is that gary johnson suggested that driver's licenses were maybe a good idea and got booed

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

Shame Boy posted:

by model he means a model train he wrote BITCOINS on

by model he means prostitute he hired to yell numbers at him

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

Midjack posted:

that’s the boast, anyway.

speaking of craig's boasts about the first of the year, apparently in simpler, less litigious times, he said bitcoin would be gone by now

https://u.today/bitcoin-has-one-day-left-until-fatal-flaw-destroys-it-according-to-craig-wrights-prediction

maybe that's why he was so nonchalant with the legal system

maybe that's why he doesn't care if he never gets them back

oh craig...

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

Gazpacho posted:

it's completely plausible imo that craig "satoshi" wright would commit his funnybux into a trust named after a notorious speculative mania back in 2011 before they ever had their first run-up

e: ok looks like I have to walk that back, it's not easy to find btc price charts from then (because the exchanges folded lol) but there literally was a runup at exactly that time

a currency that is deflationary by design was never not a ponzi scheme. don't fret about specific dates and price trends.

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

Boxturret posted:

as if nelson mandela would be deserving to kiss the filth encrusted boots of this paragon of virtue, this god made flesh, ross ulbrich

he walked to a car in the rain for chrissakes

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin


hmm, yes, I can't wait to trade my identifiable and accountable bank for an anonymous web of cell phones

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin


(guy pointing to temple meme)

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

...! posted:

mlk: noted bitcoin haver

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their cold wallets in a sealed container under a birdbath

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin


it sure would be great if coal power plants no longer had any reason not to burn coal

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

rjmccall posted:

i lost money slowly by the day, by which i mean that i lost an average of well over $30K a day

edit: i am leaving this otherwise unedited to wallow in my shame at being bad at math

have you considered a career in the exciting world of cryptocurrency wealth management? your talents would be well suited

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin


you take the wealth, and then turn it into cryptocurrency

and then lose it

Agile Vector posted:

doubtful, that money declined over time not instantly which is pretty poor performance for a cryptocurrency

I meant the order of magnitude math error

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

...! posted:

pos_terior 1 point 2 hours ago

If you're a Bitcoin donator to Wikipedia, send them a letter stating as such and ask them to have higher standards in their Wiki articles than they do in their newsletter.

:psyduck: higher standards for the articles is literally what the post is about

god these idiots hurt my head

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

Anticheese posted:

Does anyone have the Hall of Cooks analogy text on hand?

rjmccall posted:

look, it's simple. you have a Happy Burger brand fast food establishment, and sometimes kids come in and want their Happy Burger brand Happy Kiddy Burger, which according to the Happy Burger brand franchise operating instructions is supposed to be 4oz of usda utility grade hamburger lightly grilled and pressed into a poppy seed bun with two slices of mild pickle and a slice of tomato and a piece of iceberg lettuce and the name of the kid written on the top in half an ounce of Happy Burger brand special sauce about which the less said the better

so naturally what you do is, you post an ad saying, cooks wanted, please bring your own grill and meat and bun and pickle and tomato and lettuce, we'll supply the sauce

and you get an applicant, and you send him down to the Hall of Cooks, which is a featureless infinite plane that you keep in the unlit basement of your Happy Burger brand fast food establishment. and you tell him to just keep making burgers and handing them up, and if he hands up a burger that satisfies your standards, you'll pay him a bonus, which is $100,000, plus the price of the burger, which is $.50

now the cook can't see too good down there, and he keeps handing up burgers that are more like pickly meatballs with a swastika painted on the side in tomato sauce, but as long as the meat's cooked the health department won't shut you down, so you keep taking them and dutifully handing down briefcases of cash with a few quarters tossed in. and the cook's pretty happy, even after you summarily declare one day that you're only going to pay $50,000 per burger in the future

so the cook calls in a friend, and she sets up in the Hall of Cooks and starts handing up burgers, and now you're getting acceptable burgers faster than you can sell them. so you raise your standards a bit, and you insist that burgers have to be on a bun, and that cuts production back down to a manageable rate. but the cooks are still pretty happy, even after you cut the burger bonus again to $25,000

this goes on for a while, and now you've got a hundred cooks down there, and you've started demanding that they spell out the kid's name correctly, and that's not easy. so now they're not just making burgers to your increasingly exact specifications, they're racing each other to be the first to get the kid's name right. but you're still paying $5,000 a burger, and apparently the cooks are still happy, because more and more keep showing up

you get curious one day while you're squeezing into your franchise past the giant mountain of rotting discarded hamburgers, and you head down to the Hall of Cooks. the last time you came down here, there were only six cooks, and they were just standing around in a disorganized circle; but now they're organized into these large groups. in one of them, you find your first cook, and he shakes your hand. "remember when we'd just started out and i was lumping up store meat by hand and cooking it on that tiny old george foreman?", he laughs. "that was before figured out cookie cutters and rolling pins." he's standing at a huge professional-grade charbroiler with twenty-four different patties arranged on it; suddenly, in a single efficient flash of movement, he flips them all over. of course, the dull glow of the grill isn't enough in the utter blackness of the Hall, and most of the patties end up on the ground, which you suddenly realize is a lot spongier than it's supposed to be. also, doesn't the ceiling seem lower? you shake it off and head back upstairs to start taking orders, wondering when it'll be the right time to cut the bonus to $1,000

it's been another year. there are tens of thousands of cooks in your basement. you're rejecting burgers for sloppy handwriting. you're rejecting burgers for having too thick a slice of tomato. you're rejecting burgers for excessively clustered poppy seeds. seven months ago, the cooks started building floor-to-ceiling ovens with internal robotics custom-designed for making Happy Kiddy Burgers; now there are whole fields of them, each making ten thousand burgers a second. of course, it's still pitch-dark down there, and the cooks aren't exactly susan calvin, so almost all of those burgers get added straight to the end of the Great Greasy Mountains, but it's amazing how quick they come now. you overhear a few of the cooks talking excitedly about the orders they just placed for massive new ovens from Barbecue Labs. you don't know how any of them can afford this when the burger bonus is only $100

three months ago, you politely asked whether they could start making the adult Happy Burgers, too

for an entire day, all the burgers had your name written on top in poison

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

...! posted:

saint ross is quoting the bible now, what a great man


https://mobile.twitter.com/RealRossU/status/1222921156337889280

maybe he's officiating a prison wedding :3:

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

no you don't understand. legal and compliance issues are an inconvenience. they cause friction for my business. I just want to remove that friction. a blockchain will make it easier to be compliant with the law for... reasons

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

Nomnom Cookie posted:

sounds to me like he had some high priced sell orders on BS nobody wants

he says he lost btc, so it was rock bottom buy orders for BS nobody wants

because he is a degenerate gambler and "if it ever gets that low, there's nowhere to go but up!"

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

the miners are still the cooks. these are the nodes, and I believe the ritual guy is luke-jr

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin


I'm so sick of these people constantly shilling, and they aren't even shilling to me. I cannot fathom how exhausted jimmy wales must be.

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

Shame Boy posted:

Bitcoin: This is not a problem we actually have.

I prefer "the solution you have proposed for a problem we don't have would not work" personally

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

Sham bam bamina! posted:

In addition, "'breeding rights' for a digital shoe may be governed by one or more real-world manufacturing restrictions; ownership rights for each successive generation of a digital shoe may be tied back to the original, real-world shoe (e.g., wholly or partially; by percentage of genotypic contribution, etc.) via encryption key to the originally associated virtual product," stated the patent.

vanilla_ice_explaining_that_he_didnt_sample_queen.mpg

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

americans always mischaracterize the actual accent anyway. nobody ever says "aboot." they say "aboat" if anything.

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

rjmccall posted:

“flash loans” apparently have to be literally zero-risk: the loan has to be returned in the same transaction.

explain to me as if I were a dullard what purpose this could possibly serve

KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

oh poo poo they got the how it's made channel too.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWBkudOTaVbvkCBc0pyZFMA

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KnifeWrench
May 25, 2007

Practical and safe.



Bleak Gremlin

I had a year where the IRS assumed my basis was $0 due to not reading the form correctly or something

fortunately it was a grown up regulated transaction that actually had a form to first misread and then use to clear up the confusion so it was only a minor annoyance

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