buttcoin: my kids know me as this ape

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > buttcoin: my kids know me as this ape

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kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

a 50k student loan can never almost never be discharged, a loan from who the gently caress knows what is much easier to get rid of in bankruptcy, assuming there's an entity able to try to pick up the pieces if prices implode.

# ¿ Feb 7, 2022 00:23

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 02:47

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

so which form of stupidity is it because while i was clearly giving more credit than the idiot deserved, i want to nail down how insanely crazy this is

# ¿ Feb 7, 2022 03:33

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

Sombrerotron posted:

can't say how much effort it will take to track those people down and collect sufficient evidence to get them into trouble, but legally speaking at least i'd say they're hosed

all the "code is law" proselytising notwithstanding, at the end of the day the people who've acquired crypto currencies or nfts or whatever's being traded via the blockchain by exploiting vulnerabilities in smart contracts (i do so hate that term) do not have any valid legal title to their newfound wealth. nobody had actually intended them to make off with all those assets without any kind of recompense. think of it like this: if you build your own house but you are a complete idiot or lunatic and you end up not adding any locks to your door whatsoever, and someone then walks in and takes anything of value from your house, is that person liable in terms of criminal and/or civil law? the answer is obviously "yes", and i see no reason whatsoever to treat anything related to the blockchain differently (even if everything to do with the blockchain is monumentally stupid and i wish it would all simultaneously explode)

as for rug pulls, that's just plain fraud. you start out by making these promises and then absconding with all money or other assets people have given you based on those promises. you might be able to construe a more-or-less valid legal argument that you've done nothing wrong if you actually had not said anything at all about what you were offering or going to do after people had started buying, and if you actually did provide buyers with the assets they could reasonably have expected to receive, and if those assets may be used in whatever fashion the buyers may reasonably have expected, but that's never the case with these rug pulls, is it? it's always "BUY NOW AND FAME AND FORTUNE AND A SHITE GAME AWAIT YOU" and then after the initial sale suddenly everyone finds that the entire project is dead and all money has been drained from its pool and nobody else has any interest whatsoever in whatever you paid for. the key question is basically: were these people deceived? even if the rug puller miraculously had no evil intentions, the buyers would most likely still be entitled to nullify the underlying contract and be refunded if they had specifically been moved to buy the assets because of incorrect representation by the rug puller (i.e. if they would not have decided to buy had the rug puller truthfully said "oh after the initial offering i'll be moving to liechtenstein under a new name so don't expect your [whatever] to be worth anything or useful for anything this time next week")

basically no court is going to accept that a bunch of idiots have discovered the one weird trick to throwing out literal centuries of common law to avoid the jurisdiction of said court.

# ¿ Feb 9, 2022 15:04

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

yeah, the "code is law" idiots are techno sov citizens. the point of law is to regulate behavior and it's not as if the entirety of human history when such structures have been in place that people have tried to evade those controls and the people who oversee it roll over, throw up their hands and go "you got me" instead of poking you with pointing things until you stop moving. rarely a loophole is used but almost every example extant is where people go okay you get that one time but we're gonna slap you if you try that again.

# ¿ Feb 9, 2022 17:39

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

lol. "the blockchain will obsolete government," says the bitcoin maximalist.

"you sure about that," as government uses the blockchain to smash some idiot coiners in the face

# ¿ Feb 10, 2022 00:22

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

how does every crypto "project" manage to undercut the last in being so clueless about so many diverse fields at the same time

# ¿ Feb 13, 2022 18:35

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

i would question the "we're really smart" but lots of dunning-kruger people have been parading their whole rear end in public for a long time.

# ¿ Feb 13, 2022 20:22

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

the first time it's a tragedy, when it repeats it's a farce, the six hundredth time it goes to self-parody

# ¿ Feb 13, 2022 20:32

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

you could invite the applicant to explain what they think about blockchain and gauge how much brain poisoning they have, it could be highly entertaining

# ¿ Feb 21, 2022 15:42

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

ymgve posted:

while arrogant, they got a point - their wallet software keeps the keys on the user's local systems and is never in the hands of the company, so what the hell could they even do to comply with a wallet freeze order? it's basically like telling the bitcoin core devs to freeze certain addresses

this sounds a bit like ordering quicken to unlock the copy of quickbook on a drug dealer's computer which is is a special level of clueless on the part of the court

# ¿ Feb 21, 2022 18:20

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

almost too coherent for a sov cit theory, sorry

# ¿ Feb 23, 2022 17:33

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

refusing to do anything to a literal state violating the normative NAP which exists in the current world says a lot more about "libertarian" ideals than they think

# ¿ Feb 28, 2022 23:46

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

"how dare the government look at the ledger explicitly made public by its creators"

# ¿ Apr 13, 2022 13:09

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

for a trustless economy there seems to be both a lot of trust and a lot of forgiveness when that trust is repeatedly betrayed

# ¿ Apr 16, 2022 21:39

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

"you can't trust those central bankers because they'll inflate your money away!!!"

exchange stops withdrawals and puts a 404 page up

"having lost my life savings over the course of a week, here's why crypto will eventually destroy fiat (1/343)"

# ¿ Apr 16, 2022 21:49

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

you've probably fallen into his trap which was making eye contact in the first place

# ¿ May 3, 2022 20:53

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

"i think this stock will drop 20% of the current price, so i will borrow it from some sucker hodler and make out like a bandit" requires no especial plan beyond "this is a good bet and it makes me a pile of money." if someone shorted coinbase, it's not because they want to buy the loving company it's because the news around it is a miasma of bad ideas in a worsening market environment.

Sapozhnik posted:

the attacker wasn't trying to get more shitcoins, they borrowed shitcoins to sell and then (supposedly) cause a crash. i.e. shorting. after the crash you buy back the shitcoins for way less than you sold them for yes but that's just so that you can return them and unwind the loan. the attacker pockets the price difference.

in the right wing mythos blackrock is the new goldman sachs. how much of this is made up is for people who follow finance poo poo in depth to judge.

yeah, this is a short cover. that's the round trip of a short trade, you want the price to come down so you can return the borrowed security/craptocoin/derivative/whatever. in the same way when you sell your long position, it's not because you want to cause the price to crash, it's because you made profit and it's not actually money in your pocket until you close it with a sell order. and if your "trillion dollar market" is murdered by a $3 billion sale order, then maybe, maaaaaaaybe your market is a shallow puddle of orders and your "valuations" were delusional to begin with. (tesla, in the first 90 minutes of trading today, had volume worth $8 billion and moved 2%, and that's a notoriously volatile stock.)

# ¿ May 11, 2022 16:12

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

njsykora posted:

isn't that the same kind of thing that led to the gamestop and amc stupidity as well?

yes, this is the classic "short squeeze" where a thinly traded stock has a ton of its shares tied up in a short, so any surge in demand triggers margin calls and short covers...which sends the stock higher because people long are seeing dollar signs and the remainder are willing to sell their increasingly valuable shares at higher prices, which fuels further demand for short covers.

but as gamestop/amc proved, you can ride that tsunami only so far before the shorts are tapped out and it falls back to earth. tons of retail traders are left holding the bag on GME at an entry price of $420.69. it's trading today at $89. womp womp.

# ¿ May 11, 2022 16:26

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

wasn't there a gif that purported to be converting the site visitor's bitscoin to cosbycoins? i wonder how many of them lost their poo poo.

# ¿ May 13, 2022 00:42

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

butterfly labs answers the question of "why would you sell the money printing machine" with the wholly obvious answer of "only after we've fully used up the ink in the printer first before shipping"

# ¿ May 13, 2022 00:56

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

Fabricated posted:

CNBC is saying this may just force Twitter to renegotiate a lower price if they're thinking the legal costs of suing would be too much.

Twitter gets liquidated damages to the tune of $1 billion, so that's absolutely worth the hassle. The real calculus is whether they try to force the deal to close regardless at $54, or if they think any renegotiated deal would be less valuable than taking the billion and running, minus legal costs. A lot would depend on what price target Musk would have in mind in such a scenario, a few dollars hair cut but still above 50 would be a no brainer "Yes, let's still do it," because Twitter isn't really worth $50. Below that and you might get into a bunch of shareholder suits, though there is one pending right now because a pension fund in Florida thinks the board is under-valuating it.

# ¿ May 13, 2022 21:05

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

dismantling the administrative state is a conservative wetdream because you can't have things like "regulations" and "rules" if everything has to be an act of loving congress.

# ¿ May 20, 2022 00:10

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

a wholly worthless layer built on top of a trusting system, i.e., the actual internet infrastructure.

# ¿ Jun 1, 2022 14:14

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

SubG posted:

lol who the gently caress underwrites an ipo with no lockup?

the IPO wasn't the company issuing new shares to dilute ownership and raise capital, it was almost explicitly designed to let the insiders pass the bag to new suckers. every single share traded that day (and since, i believe) was formerly one held by a founder; naturally the price cratered from its hyped up open and has only just recovered somewhat from its lows of ~1/8th its IPO price.

i'm shocked, shocked that someone in crypto would try to use an opportunity to scam some rubes and make a buck in the process.

# ¿ Jun 3, 2022 14:12

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

RPATDO_LAMD posted:

in the US this is called promissory estoppel and you can definitely sue over it

it depends on the state, because at-will employment is a bitch and even if you move across the nation after quitting and selling your home you might be hosed. the us, y'all.

# ¿ Jun 3, 2022 15:46

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

you're a broker/exchange (a position that should not be the same), you should be making money irrespective of how the market is doing because what matters is the fact you're taking a cut on all the transactions. that you can't figure this out as one of the players in this space means a lot of mismanagement.

# ¿ Jun 3, 2022 16:38

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

everything traded as an etf or similar divulges all their assets to the penny, and makes it freely available and will even loving mail you a paper prospectus with a detailed breakdown of the assets you are in essence purchasing if requested or even if you don't request it and brought a share for your ira.

# ¿ Jun 7, 2022 15:40

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

they stopped circulating new us pres coins, but the law (as is generally traditional) doesn't allow minting of coins for persons still alive, and gwhb is the latest serving president who is also a corpse. they also skipped carter since he's still kicking, somehow. if and when a former prez drops dead, the soonest a new coin would be issued will be two years from that point.

# ¿ Jun 12, 2022 20:15

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

i too remember when i couldn't withdraw money from my broker because an "intern" forgot to pay citibank for the transaction fee and held up everything for hundreds of thousands of clients. doesn't fiat have this problem too???

# ¿ Jun 14, 2022 13:27

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

my employer has dozens of different systems that have access control lists which can be configured any number of ways with a single employee sign-on, so the notion that a large tech company can't figure out how to give access to email while disabling more sensitive systems is laughable. the only explanation is sociopathic laziness.

# ¿ Jun 14, 2022 17:11

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

"so can we see what you're invested in to prove to everyone's satisfaction that you're solvent, like literally every other similar instrument?"
"haha no, trust me bro"

# ¿ Jun 15, 2022 23:42

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

Still just a standard 8949 form, if the broker has any sense whatsoever it'll be a block you import and then Turbotax creates the schedule of trades and computes your bottom line. It'll be all short term so subject to standard taxes.

If not, then, uh, good luck with that.

# ¿ Jun 17, 2022 15:47

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

EricBauman posted:

do you even hear what you're saying?

I'm kind of surprised by how well the less dodgy brokers do things like report to the IRS and poo poo, which would basically be the same data you'd use in Turbotax, which is why it's even something I can suggest. But obviously there are various levels of "sense" floating around so who the gently caress knows! You're supposed to report every transaction, but the real bottom line is that your gains match up to what you say it is and how you come to that conclusion is something that the IRS isn't gonna examine line by line if the total you say happened and the total the broker reported is consistent with each other. Robo day traders at large institutions can literally do millions of transactions every trading day and ain't no one going through that with a fine-toothed comb if the =SUM(A:A) matches the =SUM(C:C).

# ¿ Jun 17, 2022 16:00

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

Khorne posted:

you get a transaction log in pdf form with "estimates" that are "not the real numbers to put on form xxx" and instructions like "read the irs directions at this url to figure it out yourself we are not accountable if these estimates are incorrect"

you need to punch in those estimates

but also need to review the transactions and they'll largely be ambiguous if you bought multiple of the same coin -- they won't say when you initially obtained the coin and frequently have incorrect or not-in-agreement-with-the-irs esimates on how long you held it

then you have to submit every single transaction to the IRS, and the easiest way to do this is by mailing it for 2021 taxes for most people.

And that's the story of how you can find questions like "How can I mail 200,000 pages of transactions to the IRS?" littered around the internet.

To be mildly fair, in 2021 most platforms send you correct estimates and you can just print their pdf & send it and the IRS will be okay with you. With turbotax you might be able to import digitally but it doesn't really save you any effort other than not having to mail something. It's still really dumb compared to how easy taxes are with normal brokerage stuff.

I haven't personally touched crypto but I do have a dumbass family member that I did taxes for due to them downloading robinhood or whatever their crypto version is named and trading $150 back and forth racking up tens of thousands of crypto transactions.

that's hilariously janky, I dunno why i expected any better

# ¿ Jun 17, 2022 20:06

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

Beeftweeter posted:

hindenburg financial is real too

they do shorts after researching why x company is a disaster waiting to happen so it's appropriately named.

# ¿ Jun 18, 2022 02:50

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

Analyst ratings are for the benefit of the clients who are all "well what do you think of $STOCK" and will be annoyed if GS just shrugs at them. And don't discount the likelihood that a bank exec wanted data on this new wild land of scamming that they can muscle in on.

# ¿ Jun 27, 2022 22:55

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

orders almost always are entered as "limit" orders indicating the price you're willing to trade at, so a sell at $20 would be construed as an order to sell at any price 20 or above, and to buy at $200k is any price there or below. so effectively you put in a market order for the bid price on a sell and the ask price on a buy. and if you're buying at $200k that should only buy as much as your equity allows.

of course exchanges are shady as gently caress so the right answer is whatever bankrupts you fastest.

# ¿ Jun 30, 2022 16:19

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

lot of purestrain assholes in that list, love to see them take a bath

# ¿ Jun 30, 2022 19:40

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

HolHorsejob posted:

This is a *horrible* loving deal and I'm amazed they signed it

when you buy a sunk company, don't you end up buying their liabilities as well as their assets? don't you end up on the receiving side of their lawsuits and whatnot?

it depends! without seeing the terms of the deal it's hard to say, though the low price might be in fact accounting for the assumption of certain liabilities. when lehman infamously imploded, the seller was the trustee in charge of the corpse and it was basically selling the good organs, free and clear, off the roadkill while leaving the mangled bits behind for the creditors to fight over. i don't believe that's the case here, but there could be shenanigans going on that leaves some bag holders with that debt and 25 mill to make themselves whole. it's crypto so whichever causes the most financial misery.

# ¿ Jun 30, 2022 21:01

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 02:47

kw0134: Apr 19, 2003; I buy feet pics🍆

evilweasel posted:

judge wiles is a really, really, really smart judge and i cannot imagine voyager is pleased to have drawn him

his questions actually nailed an interesting point: the $350m appears to actually not be assets of "voyager" but assets of their customers; but when it comes to everything else voyager's lawyers are like "lol at you"

"look when you gave us these shitcoins to trade on our platform in your name under your own individual account you really meant for to give it to us as unsecured creditors" probably isn't a winning argument in court

# ¿ Jul 8, 2022 22:00

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