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Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.





cross postin with the secfuk thread

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2021/jan/12/in-bits-the-programmer-locked-out-of-his-130m-bitcoin-account


quote:

Thomas is a San Francisco-based computer programmer, and a decade ago he was given 7,002 bitcoins as a reward for making a video explaining how the cryptocurrency works.

At the time he was paid, they were worth $2-$6 each. He stashed them away in his “digital wallet” and forgot about them.

Now each bitcoin is worth $34,000, and the contents of his wallet are valued at $240m. But Thomas has forgotten the password that will unlock his fortune.


oh my god

quote:

Thomas said he has tried his eight most frequently used passwords to access his IronKey hard drive, but all turned out to be wrong. The device auto-encrypts all contents after the 10th inaccurate guess.

OH MY GOD

quote:

Following the publicity of Thomas’s plight, Alex Stamos, an internet security expert at Stanford Internet Observatory, said he could crack the password within six months if Thomas gave him a 10% cut of the digital fortune.

PISSSSSSSSSSSS

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Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



SYSV Fanfic posted:

Treasury did say they were going to apply enforcement actions rather than a regulatory framework.

you see this is good for bitcoin because it means its inside the current framework and therefore a real currency


now please backdate all these KYC forms before fincen kick the doors in

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



Paladinus posted:

NFT Use cases:
1. I can buy a beeple
2. You can buy a beeple
3. I can buy a boople
4. You can buy a boople
...
153. I can buy a bop shoo bop shoo bop
154. You can buy a rama lama ding dong

155. you now own a ting tang walla walla bang bang
156. your assets are stolen by a witch doctor

Powerful Two-Hander fucked around with this message at 13:14 on Jun 1, 2021

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



Splicer posted:

Stealing another thread's title and pretending wr invented it seems very bitcoin

lol yes it is.

graph please

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.




also this is very good and fills in some blank spots in my understanding of it

also lol jesus what a disaster waiting to happen

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.




friendship ended with bitcoin, now the planet is my best friend

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



Qwertycoatl posted:

binance getting annoyed at ol musky

https://twitter.com/cz_binance/status/1400749677322981378

counterpoint: lol

there is not a lol big enough.

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



a hardware wallet sounds great and is exactly how bitcoin can show it can compete with real money: it'll be just like how if I lose my debit card, I lose all my money and can never access my accounts ever again!

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



wasn't the whole bitcoin tumbler/mixer thing basically just theatre because given sufficient time you could back trace it all anyway? And assuming you wanted to get the funds out, it would all converge right back into addresses you owned, making the whole exercise pointless.

"oh this 2 million dollars in tethers received in a thousand blocks of transfers ? No no that's completely legitimate"

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.




there was a giant graffiti picture of this guy over the urinals in a bar I used to go to before it got closed and turned into a generic gastro pub.

https://www.smore.com/zpr4-lucid-drawings

Edit : it made no sense then and now I know who it actually is it still doesn't

Updated link to one with an actual picture (scroll down if you care) actually that's also probably :nws: because I forgot about the topless cartoon woman they also had on the wall.

It never made any sense because I'm pretty sure the owner was an old dude that just liked running a bar and got talked into doing this whole "art" thing and ended up with a wildly incongruous set of stuff on his walls

Powerful Two-Hander fucked around with this message at 23:52 on Jun 5, 2021

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



Boxturret posted:

My 40ft daughter's 15ft cryptocurrency club is creating problems at our church

Mods name change to "MY 40FT DAUGHTER"

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



didn't Mozilla boot him out/tell him to gently caress off because of his views?

Edit: yep.i guess his response was to double down on being a shithead

Powerful Two-Hander fucked around with this message at 12:24 on Jun 15, 2021

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



Boxturret posted:

bitocins are like minecraft youtubers: there's millions of them, they're all awful, and they're literally killing the planet just by existing

Mein Kraft

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



Mercury_Storm posted:

"stablecoin" should just have baked in scare quotes at this point

stable coin? No, Volatile prices!

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.




holy poo poo lmao

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.




that nic cage film but at the end it's just a qr code that points to a URL that 404s

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



what you don't remember when the internet forked into hundreds of competing internets and everyone involved in them lost their money?

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



now now has there actually been the required number of confirmations of death?

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



I'm pretty sure the massive overridingly recognised consensus is that if you had zero inflation you're gonna completely poo poo the bed on your economy because you're incentivized to only buy what you need right now as any investment in a physical good is basically tying up money that would otherwise appreciate. Anyone that's living close to hand to mouth is never able to get beyond basic subsistence

like the entire paradigm of raising capital investment just breaks completely, the only thing that works in terms of paying for infrastructures is essentially running a centralised dictatorship that tithes its citizens or enforces total control over usage

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



wait wait has anyone said 'i bet he wouldn't have got into trouble if he'd used a tether' yet?

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



Alan Smithee posted:


i guess you could say he had

liquidity problems

bitcoin: out of his depth in a highly liquid market

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



I don't want to give the impression that bitcoin is actually a liquid asset so please also consider 'his portfolio is now deep underwater'

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



FAUXTON posted:

davy jones wallet

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



ultrafilter posted:

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware / Software Crap > YOSPOS > buttcoin: Nice dude I’m also stupid

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



actually, and I might be misremembering this, if a clearing member goes down the other clearing members are obliged to take on the positions to ensure they can be closed out. that's easy for physical positions,a bit less so for dumbass leveraged ones but you can reasonably assume that you might get aggressively closed out or margin called into oblivions if your internet comedy gold position is moved from clownshoes broker to idk ICE or whoever.

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



infernal machines posted:

how does all this work when people on the platform have been sold "partial" shares?

badly?

nah you probably just get closed out and refunded the value at that time because whoever takes over can't be bothered to deal with the fractions

then a bunch of people get angry because they got closed out 'at the wrong time when the stock was about to go up up up' (actually I think that did happen once to some hedge fund and they successfully sued the broker over it and got the lost profit back)

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



LanceHunter posted:

A friend's company was trying to abide to their strict anti-corruption policies during their International Women's Leadership conference that they held in South America. So they refused to pay any local fixers or shell out any kind of protection money. Two of the conference attendees ended up getting kidnapped.

I remember doing some mandatory anti bribery training and one of the questions was about getting stopped at a border and asked for a payment to 'facilitate the border process' or whatever and everybody got that question wrong because the 'correct' one was 'no I would refuse and contact the compliance team so as to ensure I did not give the appearance of bribing a government official'.

contrast that to when I had a temp job years back for a mining company and they were bribing all sorts of people

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



infernal machines posted:


idk what the gently caress rocketfuel is, but if that guy is cto i'd stay the hell away from them

archive captures the link to the bio and :discourse:


quote:

Rohan Hall is a 30-year veteran in the blockchain and DeFi space and a well-respected technologist who has built and implemented technology solutions for multiple Fortune 500 companies. Outside of his current role as CTO of RocketFuel Blockchain, he is a published author, technology advisor and regular presenter as a blockchain expert at various events including OMG, IESE, EU Commission, USC, UCI, IDEAS, SoCal Blockchain Event, LA Blockchain, Blockchain & Booze and other events in the USA and Europe.

*Navy seal screed but it's blockchain.txt*

e:

What the gently caress did you just loving say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I'm a 30 year Blockchain veteran and I've been involved in numerous secret SoCal Blockchain events, and I have over 3 confirmed transactions. I am big in the Blockchain space and I'm the top published author in the reinventing the wheel section on amazon. You are nothing to me but just another opportunity for self publicity. I will wipe you the gently caress out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my loving words. You think you can get away with saying that poo poo to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am downloading a copy of the Blockchain over the internet and your insecure TCP/IP traffic is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your bank balance. You're loving dead, kid. Blockchains can be anywhere, anytime, and I can post nonsense blogs about then in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my linkedin profile. Not only am I extensively trained in bullshit, but I am a CTO with access to the entire might of the RSA blog platform and I will use it to its full extent to self promote, you little poo poo. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your loving tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price in fiat, you goddamn idiot. I will poo poo crypto all over you and you will drown in it. You're loving dead, kiddo.

Powerful Two-Hander fucked around with this message at 08:03 on Jul 5, 2021

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



no you see energy cannot be destroyed and therefore a bitcoin represents energy and furthermore

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



also I'm reviewing some CVs and there's one that lists 'blockchain' in skills and I'm tempted to reject it out of hand solely for that

(they aren't actually the best candidate on paper anyway)

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



fortunately for me its not a Dev position I don't even have to bother whiteboarding questions and pretending I care about the answers

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



SubG posted:

three way handshake with the invisible hand of the market

A powerful... three-hander???

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.




me putting money into binance: hahaha yes! Hahaha!

me trying to get money out of binance: well this loving sucks what the gently caress

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



Boxturret posted:

if you get the vaccine you get filled with computer chips that infect your sperm so if you get a woman pregnant she'll give birth to a cyborg

sounds good where do I sign up

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



Thor: god of blunder

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



Shame Boy posted:

that should count as child abuse

"I grew up being beaten by an invisible hand"

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



BITMAN and robbing

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



Clockwerk posted:

so what is the existing barrier that has been stopping Bitcoin for the last ten years from solving the unbanked problem? like, what are bitcoiners waiting on before they’re allowed so financially rescue the world?

the savior currency is already here but poor people are still poor. this makes no sense

turns out poor people can't afford the fees to use the network

maybe what's needed is some sort of trustworthy party that could act as a sort of store of their balance so they didn't need to use it directly. if there were branches of this things then people could just walk in to them! of course there'd need to be some regulations so you'd know your money was safe and they weren't a scammer

nothing like that exists though so I guess smoke signals it is

Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



https://twitter.com/jchervinsky/status/1421150363202330628?s=19

I'm the geopolitical blunder committed by a world superpower that the other super power immediately copied

e: or maybe I'm the crucial market sector that apparently nobody wants (money laundering, extortion and libertarians)

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Powerful Two-Hander
Mar 9, 2004

Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.



Boxturret posted:

first they laugh at you, then they ban you in China, then they ban you in America, then...you? Win?

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