Koalas are functionally extinct thanks to climate change

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Koalas are functionally extinct thanks to climate change

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

This is awful :smith:

Shits only going to get increasingly worse while nothing continues to change because :capitalism:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/trevornace/2019/11/23/koalas-functionally-extinct-after-australia-bushfires-destroy-80-of-their-habitat/

quote:

As Australia experiences record-breaking drought and bushfires, koala populations have dwindled along with their habitat, leaving them �functionally extinct.�

The chairman of the Australian Koala Foundation, Deborah Tabart, estimates that over 1,000 koalas have been killed from the fires and that 80 percent of their habitat has been destroyed.

Recent bushfires, along with prolonged drought and deforestation has led to koalas becoming �functionally extinct� according to experts.

Functional extinction is when a population becomes so limited that they no longer play a significant role in their ecosystem and the population becomes no longer viable. While some individuals could produce, the limited number of koalas makes the long-term viability of the species unlikely and highly susceptible to disease.

# ? Nov 23, 2019 23:57

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# ? Apr 24, 2024 19:32

MD2020: May 30, 2003; she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.

Learn to eat more than one type of leaf, bitches.

# ? Nov 23, 2019 23:59

mexican willie: Mar 17, 2007

only the strong survive

# ? Nov 24, 2019 00:02

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

Jose posted:

This is awful Shits only going to get increasingly worse while nothing continues to change because

https://www.forbes.com/sites/trevornace/2019/11/23/koalas-functionally-extinct-after-australia-bushfires-destroy-80-of-their-habitat/

I think things will continue to change, but not in the way anybody wants, OP.

# ? Nov 24, 2019 00:03

TheMaskedUgly: Sep 21, 2008; Let's play a different game.

mexican willie posted:

only the strong survive

only the tasty

# ? Nov 24, 2019 00:07

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

I hope Homo sapiens are next

# ? Nov 24, 2019 00:08

Brute Hole Force: Dec 25, 2005; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

On one hand it means I won't be able to eat Koala, on the other hand I don't have to worry about getting chlamydia because the meat was undercooked. Fair trade.

# ? Nov 24, 2019 00:11

Honky Dong Country: Feb 11, 2015

I for one am glad that the dropbear menace is fading away.

# ? Nov 24, 2019 00:19

kecske: Feb 28, 2011; it's round, like always

hey op we're all functionally extinct due to climate change

# ? Nov 24, 2019 00:22

Pickwick High: Aug 4, 2019; They call me Nutse

# ? Nov 24, 2019 00:25

Mr. Dick: Aug 9, 2019; by Cyrano4747

Good news! Only two or three more cute species and people might maybe start to be a little bit concerned. Mr. Dick's betting on dolphins, pandas and hagfish.

# ? Nov 24, 2019 00:43

zaepg: Dec 25, 2008; by sebmojo

Dumb fucks.

# ? Nov 24, 2019 00:47

Zeluth: May 12, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

The real thing is cuter than the stuffed thing.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Nov 24, 2019 00:53

Loden Taylor: Aug 11, 2003

"Who cares, we've still got a bunch in zoos, right?"
- your uncle, this coming Thanksgiving

# ? Nov 24, 2019 00:57

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

That's really sad. Alexa, play Despacito.

# ? Nov 24, 2019 00:58

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

zaepg posted:

Dumb fucks.

Why y�all such assholes to a cool animal? Idgi

# ? Nov 24, 2019 01:09

buglord: Jul 31, 2010; Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!; Buglord

Burt Sexual posted:

Why y�all such assholes to a cool animal? Idgi

Cool is a weird way to describe some STD ridden animal that�s too bougie to eat anything but some rare and exotic leaf.

# ? Nov 24, 2019 01:11

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

buglord posted:

Cool is a weird way to describe some STD ridden animal that�s too bougie to eat anything but some rare and exotic leaf.

It only flares up when I run out of the lotion, you smug son of a bitch.

# ? Nov 24, 2019 01:14

Derpies: Mar 11, 2014; by sebmojo

Good gently caress koalas, WOMBATS are better in every way.

# ? Nov 24, 2019 01:15

William Henry Hairytaint: Oct 29, 2011

This sucks. We are the cause of all of mother Gaia's problems. Destroy the vast majority of humans.

# ? Nov 24, 2019 01:16

luncheon meat: Oct 11, 2007; Brendan Jones, 42, Bendigo

the one way to prevent something being done in Australia is to mention climate change. instantly shuts down the brains of the people in charge because they count on votes from the dumb fucks who don't believe in it and ofc votes are more important than koalas

for instance they've spent most of these bushfires figuring out how they can blame other parties and spread bullshit on social media to distract from the fact they cut $40m in funding for this sort of thing

as a nation we're loving stupid and I'm sorry. RIP koalas

# ? Nov 24, 2019 01:19

William Henry Hairytaint: Oct 29, 2011

That 8th grader was right. Koala's ARENT hard and they ARE some little bitches

# ? Nov 24, 2019 01:21

Caesar Saladin: Aug 15, 2004

buglord posted:

Cool is a weird way to describe some STD ridden animal that�s too bougie to eat anything but some rare and exotic leaf.

they all just died in a big fire and its really sad

# ? Nov 24, 2019 01:21

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Solice Kirsk posted:

It only flares up when I run out of the lotion, you smug son of a bitch.

Yeah! And weed is by no means "rare and exotic"!

# ? Nov 24, 2019 01:23

ElectricSheep: Jan 14, 2006; she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.

I like that we didn't get more than ten posts in before someone shamed koalas as a species for having the clap

# ? Nov 24, 2019 01:27

DeadFatDuckFat: Oct 29, 2012; This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.

When I was a kid, I learned that when there is a fire, koalas just curl up into a ball and burn to death

# ? Nov 24, 2019 01:29

vyst: Aug 25, 2009

I wish I was extinct

# ? Nov 24, 2019 01:30

Haramstufe Rot: Jun 24, 2016

This is fine, because it is a harsh reality and Koalas are just too stupid and fluffy to survive. This will have no negative consequences, and certainly doesn't foreshadow any future issues.

# ? Nov 24, 2019 01:32

DeadFatDuckFat: Oct 29, 2012; This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.

vyst posted:

I wish I was extinct

Have you tried curling up into a ball in the middle of a fire

# ? Nov 24, 2019 01:33

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

So is my dick but you don't see me bitching about it, OP

e: and you don't know what to say or do about THAT either, do you? You flippant bastard.

Big Beef City fucked around with this message at 01:37 on Nov 24, 2019

# ? Nov 24, 2019 01:34

Miserable Maid: Apr 22, 2010; Cat Army

Good. Koalas are losers that cry when you kick them out of a tree

# ? Nov 24, 2019 01:36

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

What's the current population of koala's? The internet is saying it's over 40,000.

There also appears to be some kind of koala protection law in the works?

# ? Nov 24, 2019 01:37

AlphaKeny1: Feb 17, 2006

there goes my koala burger business plan

# ? Nov 24, 2019 01:39

Lolie: Jun 4, 2010; AUSGBS Thread Mum

luncheon meat posted:

the one way to prevent something being done in Australia is to mention climate change. instantly shuts down the brains of the people in charge because they count on votes from the dumb fucks who don't believe in it and ofc votes are more important than koalas

for instance they've spent most of these bushfires figuring out how they can blame other parties and spread bullshit on social media to distract from the fact they cut $40m in funding for this sort of thing

as a nation we're loving stupid and I'm sorry. RIP koalas

On the other hand, the GoFundMe set up to help the Koala Hospital raised over $1 million in just over 3 weeks, which will allow them to bring forward their plans for a wild breeding programme.

# ? Nov 24, 2019 01:41

Burt Sexual: Jan 26, 2006; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Switchblade Switcharoo

https://gifts.worldwildlife.org/gif...ASAAEgJPW_D_BwE

# ? Nov 24, 2019 01:42

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

kangaroo tastes really nice i recommend it

# ? Nov 24, 2019 01:46

drilldo squirt: Aug 18, 2006; a beautiful, soft meat sack; Clapping Larry

cool looking animal.

# ? Nov 24, 2019 01:53

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

RocktheCaulk posted:

Good gently caress koalas, WOMBATS are better in every way.

Let's start going around putting wombats up in trees, then everything will be okay.

# ? Nov 24, 2019 01:53

Lolie: Jun 4, 2010; AUSGBS Thread Mum

Burt Sexual posted:

https://gifts.worldwildlife.org/gif...ASAAEgJPW_D_BwE

I'm going to suggest the Koala Hospital instead. It's much more accountable than the WWF.

https://www.koalahospital.org.au/

https://www.koalahospital.org.au/adopt-a-koala

https://www.facebook.com/koalahospital/

Lolie fucked around with this message at 01:56 on Nov 24, 2019

# ? Nov 24, 2019 01:54

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# ? Apr 24, 2024 19:32

Milo and POTUS: Sep 3, 2017; I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

Colonel Cancer posted:

I hope Homo sapiens are next

We really ought to get rid of that sapiens part

# ? Nov 24, 2019 01:57

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