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Jay_Zombie
Apr 20, 2007

We're sealing the tunnel!
Grandpa goes into horrifying detail about how he killed a man with his bare hands in the war.
Aunts get into bickering match over who's son is the biggest gently caress up, in front of said son's and their families.
Mom is drunk in the kitchen.
Dad subtly hints at his racism towards an ethnic group.
Literally A Person stuck his dick in the mashed potatoes.
Your second cousin is looking fit as hell.

Post ways Thanksgiving Dinner can get real awkward real fast.

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ShortyMR.CAT
Sep 25, 2008

:blastu::dogcited:
Lipstick Apathy
"Oohh...no sorry...I'm vegan now"

MageMage
Feb 11, 2007

I SUCK AND LOVE TO YELL PERFORMATIVE HOT TAKES AND NONSENSE LIES WHEN I GET WORKED UP. SOMETIMES AUTOBANNED IS BETTER. MAYBE ONE DAY WHEN I STORM OFF I'LL ACTUALLY STOP SHITTING UP THE SITE FOR REAL
Dad... Dad... I'm not gay

ShortyMR.CAT
Sep 25, 2008

:blastu::dogcited:
Lipstick Apathy
I'm gay

Jay_Zombie
Apr 20, 2007

We're sealing the tunnel!
No dad. PAN-sexual. PAN.

Jay_Zombie
Apr 20, 2007

We're sealing the tunnel!
Thanks for letting my wear my fursuit to dinner mom.

Jay_Zombie
Apr 20, 2007

We're sealing the tunnel!
Yeah, it's great. Here grab your phone. Ok. Now type in S-O-M-E-T-H-I-N-G-A-W-F.... yeah that's the one.

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

I can't resist those starchy mash potatoes, sitting there, looking at me with those sultry eyes.





Thanksgiving used to be fun when my great uncle was still alive. Me and my brother used to get him so stoned he'd eat four plates of dinner and sit silently for the rest of the evening staring at the table. Good times.

Rad-daddio
Apr 25, 2017
*reaches underneath table at dinner*
*slowly places red maga hat on head*

Jay_Zombie
Apr 20, 2007

We're sealing the tunnel!
Hands mom your phone to take a picture.
Phone background is sexy-xenomorph.jpg.

Rad-daddio
Apr 25, 2017
*pretends to be mentally disabled and eats food with hands just to get out of cleaning up afterwards*

Bonzo
Mar 11, 2004

Just like Mama used to make it!
*stands in front of 78" UDH TV, kneels when anthem is played at the start of an NFL game*

Rad-daddio
Apr 25, 2017
I reach across the table for the gravy, and an unending stream of Pokemon cards issue forth from my shirt pocket and into the green bean casserole.

Macasaurus
Oct 12, 2012


hi gay im dad

Rad-daddio
Apr 25, 2017
Hits on first cousin while sober.

Hits on first cousin harder when drunk.

First cousin pepper sprays me.

EorayMel
May 30, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Français.
What is that uncle doing to his anus?

Synthetic Dreams
Jul 19, 2005

by Cyrano4747
The sons of a pair of sisters were into kink, and their moms? They supported their children's humiliation fetish. Even at Thanksgiving dinner, they would enact an elaborate roleplay to help their sons enjoy their kink.after all, why not? The sisters had grown quite rich from it, after all.

Synthetic Dreams fucked around with this message at 16:44 on Nov 27, 2019

20 Blunts
Jan 21, 2017
someone post that story about the guy having his entire family over to reveal his fetish or fursona, i cant remember what it was

ShortyMR.CAT
Sep 25, 2008

:blastu::dogcited:
Lipstick Apathy

Macasaurus posted:

hi gay im dad

Dad stop. Ive known since I was 5. Ive waited 30 years to tell you guys

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

*has visible erection while carving the turkey*

Rad-daddio
Apr 25, 2017
Does that Splash Dance thing, but with the searing hot gravy.

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Explains my D&D campaign to G-ma.

ShortyMR.CAT
Sep 25, 2008

:blastu::dogcited:
Lipstick Apathy
Hope you guys like the pie! Old family recipe handed down from my grandma!

*receipt from Costco falls out of pocket*

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

OH MY GOD. PIE.

My sister in law is like the Pol Pot of desserts. She always brings loving dessert to thanksgiving and it's always some strange veggie poo poo and GOD drat IT I just want a loving plain apple pie :mad:

Jay_Zombie
Apr 20, 2007

We're sealing the tunnel!
*wife drops a gigantic paint can shaped deuce that clogs the only toilet*

Jay_Zombie
Apr 20, 2007

We're sealing the tunnel!
Hey, have you guys heard about Crossfit??

Jay_Zombie
Apr 20, 2007

We're sealing the tunnel!

Literally A Person posted:

OH MY GOD. PIE.

My sister in law is like the Pol Pot of desserts. She always brings loving dessert to thanksgiving and it's always some strange veggie poo poo and GOD drat IT I just want a loving plain apple pie :mad:

:sever:

Rod Hoofhearted
Jun 18, 2000

I am a ghost




Autistic Edgy Guy posted:

someone post that story about the guy having his entire family over to reveal his fetish or fursona, i cant remember what it was

Anal vore.

Zeluth
May 12, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
This time I am carving.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

DeathCrabForCutie
Jul 14, 2019
oh fuc-

Autistic Edgy Guy posted:

someone post that story about the guy having his entire family over to reveal his fetish or fursona, i cant remember what it was

You mean the anal vore dude? He handed out printed pamphlets, iirc.



*Scoffs loudly while grandma says grace*

Synthetic Dreams
Jul 19, 2005

by Cyrano4747

Literally A Person posted:

OH MY GOD. PIE.

My sister in law is like the Pol Pot of desserts. She always brings loving dessert to thanksgiving and it's always some strange veggie poo poo and GOD drat IT I just want a loving plain apple pie :mad:

Ok, so buy enough pies to feed your family, alright? When your sister arrives, help her by throwing her desserts in the trash where they belong. Smile big at her! Invite her to have some apple pie with you. Assert your dominance.

Synthetic Dreams fucked around with this message at 16:56 on Nov 27, 2019

a peck of pickled peckers
Aug 3, 2014

I am your Redeemer! It is by my hand that you arise from the ashes of this world!

"Oh right, Aunt Carroll, sure. You expect me to believe that YOU made this pie? Haha no way, it's far too good. I believe you the same way I believe the Armenian genocide actually happened."

ShortyMR.CAT
Sep 25, 2008

:blastu::dogcited:
Lipstick Apathy
Does anyone need refills? Allow me!

*leaves phone on table facing up with the "wife takes big poops" thread open*

A Fancy Hat
Nov 18, 2016

Always remember that the former President was dumber than the dumbest person you've ever met by a wide margin

"Grandma won't be here this year, she's attending something called a 'QAnon' rally, but she told us to enjoy the meal and that Benghazi ain't going away."

Rad-daddio
Apr 25, 2017
Back when my brother in law was on speaking terms with the family, he'd come over for Thanksgiving and insist on carving the turkey every year. I found out later that he was doing it mainly to try to emasculate me in some way, but I just thought he was being helpful and giving me one less thing to do :confused:

Jay_Zombie
Apr 20, 2007

We're sealing the tunnel!
Not sure if dog poo poo under table or grandma poo poo herself.... or both.

Jay_Zombie
Apr 20, 2007

We're sealing the tunnel!

Rad-daddio posted:

Back when my brother in law was on speaking terms with the family, he'd come over for Thanksgiving and insist on carving the turkey every year. I found out later that he was doing it mainly to try to emasculate me in some way, but I just thought he was being helpful and giving me one less thing to do :confused:

I lol'ed at that thought of that dude carving the turkey while never breaking eye contact with you.

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



*gets into frothing rage yelling about politics, despite being alone with no particular holiday plans*

Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Synthetic Dreams posted:

Ok, so buy enough pies to feed your family, alright? When your sister arrives, help her by throwing her desserts in the trash where they belong. Smile big at her! Invite her to have some apple pie with you. Assert your dominance.

She's uh...delicate. Her fragility makes this impractical as I would rather eat some lovely black bean chocolate brownie than watch a 30 year old woman sulk for four hours.

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Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer
*doesn't live in a country that celebrates thanksgiving*

What the gently caress is this??

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