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Grandpa goes into horrifying detail about how he killed a man with his bare hands in the war. Aunts get into bickering match over who's son is the biggest gently caress up, in front of said son's and their families. Mom is drunk in the kitchen. Dad subtly hints at his racism towards an ethnic group. Literally A Person stuck his dick in the mashed potatoes. Your second cousin is looking fit as hell. Post ways Thanksgiving Dinner can get real awkward real fast.
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:18 |
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# ? Mar 28, 2024 16:02 |
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"Oohh...no sorry...I'm vegan now"
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:20 |
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Dad... Dad... I'm not gay
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:20 |
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I'm gay
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:20 |
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No dad. PAN-sexual. PAN.
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:21 |
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Thanks for letting my wear my fursuit to dinner mom.
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:22 |
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Yeah, it's great. Here grab your phone. Ok. Now type in S-O-M-E-T-H-I-N-G-A-W-F.... yeah that's the one.
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:24 |
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I can't resist those starchy mash potatoes, sitting there, looking at me with those sultry eyes. Thanksgiving used to be fun when my great uncle was still alive. Me and my brother used to get him so stoned he'd eat four plates of dinner and sit silently for the rest of the evening staring at the table. Good times.
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:24 |
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*reaches underneath table at dinner* *slowly places red maga hat on head*
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:26 |
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Hands mom your phone to take a picture. Phone background is sexy-xenomorph.jpg.
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:28 |
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*pretends to be mentally disabled and eats food with hands just to get out of cleaning up afterwards*
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:28 |
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*stands in front of 78" UDH TV, kneels when anthem is played at the start of an NFL game*
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:29 |
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I reach across the table for the gravy, and an unending stream of Pokemon cards issue forth from my shirt pocket and into the green bean casserole.
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:30 |
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ShortyMR.CAT posted:I'm gay hi gay im dad
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:30 |
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Hits on first cousin while sober. Hits on first cousin harder when drunk. First cousin pepper sprays me.
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:31 |
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What is that uncle doing to his anus?
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:32 |
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The sons of a pair of sisters were into kink, and their moms? They supported their children's humiliation fetish. Even at Thanksgiving dinner, they would enact an elaborate roleplay to help their sons enjoy their kink.after all, why not? The sisters had grown quite rich from it, after all.
Synthetic Dreams fucked around with this message at 16:44 on Nov 27, 2019 |
# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:32 |
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someone post that story about the guy having his entire family over to reveal his fetish or fursona, i cant remember what it was
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:33 |
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Macasaurus posted:hi gay im dad Dad stop. Ive known since I was 5. Ive waited 30 years to tell you guys
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:36 |
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*has visible erection while carving the turkey*
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:37 |
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Does that Splash Dance thing, but with the searing hot gravy.
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:38 |
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Explains my D&D campaign to G-ma.
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:39 |
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Hope you guys like the pie! Old family recipe handed down from my grandma! *receipt from Costco falls out of pocket*
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:39 |
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OH MY GOD. PIE. My sister in law is like the Pol Pot of desserts. She always brings loving dessert to thanksgiving and it's always some strange veggie poo poo and GOD drat IT I just want a loving plain apple pie
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:41 |
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*wife drops a gigantic paint can shaped deuce that clogs the only toilet*
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:46 |
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Hey, have you guys heard about Crossfit??
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:46 |
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Literally A Person posted:OH MY GOD. PIE.
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:47 |
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Autistic Edgy Guy posted:someone post that story about the guy having his entire family over to reveal his fetish or fursona, i cant remember what it was Anal vore.
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:48 |
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This time I am carving.
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:49 |
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Autistic Edgy Guy posted:someone post that story about the guy having his entire family over to reveal his fetish or fursona, i cant remember what it was You mean the anal vore dude? He handed out printed pamphlets, iirc. *Scoffs loudly while grandma says grace*
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:49 |
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Literally A Person posted:OH MY GOD. PIE. Ok, so buy enough pies to feed your family, alright? When your sister arrives, help her by throwing her desserts in the trash where they belong. Smile big at her! Invite her to have some apple pie with you. Assert your dominance. Synthetic Dreams fucked around with this message at 16:56 on Nov 27, 2019 |
# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:49 |
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"Oh right, Aunt Carroll, sure. You expect me to believe that YOU made this pie? Haha no way, it's far too good. I believe you the same way I believe the Armenian genocide actually happened."
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:51 |
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Does anyone need refills? Allow me! *leaves phone on table facing up with the "wife takes big poops" thread open*
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:53 |
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"Grandma won't be here this year, she's attending something called a 'QAnon' rally, but she told us to enjoy the meal and that Benghazi ain't going away."
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:53 |
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Back when my brother in law was on speaking terms with the family, he'd come over for Thanksgiving and insist on carving the turkey every year. I found out later that he was doing it mainly to try to emasculate me in some way, but I just thought he was being helpful and giving me one less thing to do
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:54 |
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Not sure if dog poo poo under table or grandma poo poo herself.... or both.
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 16:55 |
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Rad-daddio posted:Back when my brother in law was on speaking terms with the family, he'd come over for Thanksgiving and insist on carving the turkey every year. I found out later that he was doing it mainly to try to emasculate me in some way, but I just thought he was being helpful and giving me one less thing to do I lol'ed at that thought of that dude carving the turkey while never breaking eye contact with you.
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 17:00 |
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*gets into frothing rage yelling about politics, despite being alone with no particular holiday plans*
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 17:00 |
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Synthetic Dreams posted:Ok, so buy enough pies to feed your family, alright? When your sister arrives, help her by throwing her desserts in the trash where they belong. Smile big at her! Invite her to have some apple pie with you. Assert your dominance. She's uh...delicate. Her fragility makes this impractical as I would rather eat some lovely black bean chocolate brownie than watch a 30 year old woman sulk for four hours.
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 17:02 |
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# ? Mar 28, 2024 16:02 |
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*doesn't live in a country that celebrates thanksgiving* What the gently caress is this??
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# ? Nov 27, 2019 17:08 |