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So MY WIFE has gotten really into fitness the last couple years. It has come to her attention that a couple of guys that have done American Ninja Warrior have set up a pro gym and work shop near by and she's begun taking work outs there. She can already bounce off walls and other fancy poo poo. I assume that she will be throwing energy balls next. Once she assassinates me and the rest of our families what am I supposed to do? Are you guys into this stuff? Are your spouses/kids/families? All I do is boring weight training and bike poo poo.
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Dec 6, 2019 09:06
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| # ? Apr 23, 2024 08:20 |
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Fun fact about Ninjas: the “traditional” ninja outfit is actually the costume of a stage hand. They dressed in black to move props and deploy special effects. The audience was supposed to pretend not to see them. So some director one time needed to depict a stealthy assassination and decided to get meta with it by having one of the “invisible” stage hands do the deed and it just blew everybody’s mind.
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Dec 6, 2019 09:17
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That's cool op but if she wants to really get her fitness to the next level, she has to train at the pro gym and work shop by the gladiators from the original 1987 American Gladiators™ until she can withstand a 30 second pugil stick duel versus Nitro
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Dec 6, 2019 09:23
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I hope youre living the dream and just pounding down beers and eating pizza while she gets assassin ready
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Dec 6, 2019 09:28
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OP dress as a pirate. it'll be an epic win.
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Dec 6, 2019 09:33
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Jesustheastronaut! posted:That's cool op but if she wants to really get her fitness to the next level, she has to train at the pro gym and work shop by the gladiators from the original 1987 American Gladiators™ until she can withstand a 30 second pugil stick duel versus Nitro I have a tennis ball cannon set up in the garage to pummel her at the next sign of disobedience and am growing a mullet
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Dec 6, 2019 09:37
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Me and my wife do sumo
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Dec 6, 2019 09:39
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Can I officiate your next "match"? "Now, in this corner, Klick! and in the other corner, Klack! THE CAR BROTHERS!!! Let's get ready to Ruuuumble!"
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Dec 6, 2019 09:44
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once she assassinates you you're dead, you don't gotta worry about her unstoppable ninjutsu rampage any longer, you're free
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Dec 6, 2019 09:46
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Ad by Khad posted:once she assassinates you you're dead, you don't gotta worry about her unstoppable ninjutsu rampage any longer, you're free That's not how these things play out. They will inevitably be brought back from the dead to enact revenge on their now power-mad wife.
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Dec 6, 2019 10:12
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Big Beef City posted:Can I officiate your next "match"? We already have traditional Japanese wrestling names. I'm The Blob and she's Lard Elemental
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Dec 6, 2019 10:19
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What you need to do is to match her by becoming an avid student of bushido and mastering the blade.
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Dec 6, 2019 10:24
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A word of warning: unlike buddhist magic, ninjutsu does not require purity of thought. Whipping out your erect cock will not disrupt her attack.
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Dec 6, 2019 12:33
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my experience with ninjas is playing tenchu enough to unlock the g string costume for the killer lady and just jumping around stages to see her butt, thats my ninja story
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Dec 6, 2019 12:45
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If she tends a garden in your yard you could call it Ninja Garden.
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Dec 6, 2019 12:48
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Is she also a mutant turtle?
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Dec 6, 2019 12:53
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In Virtua Fighter every character had a different way of jumping on a knocked out opponent. The ninja guy did it head first, so if the opponent got out of the way he landed head first on the floor. It was a subtle hint that ninjas are dumb as poo poo
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Dec 6, 2019 12:59
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If she's a redhead you could refer to her as The Ginger Ninja. Probably not a good idea to do that to her face, though
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Dec 6, 2019 13:05
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Never take a dump in an outhouse. Hiding in the shitter and thrusting a blade up the rectum is the oldest trick in the scroll.
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Dec 6, 2019 13:09
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"Hi I'm Gary Treehorse and when I was 13 I fell down a open manhole and my life changed forever. I was trapped in darkness for what seemed like days. People kept saying, climb up the ladder rear end in a top hat." but my arms were too weak. After I was rescued I started training 6 days a week at dude's ninja gym 2 states over. Now I'm ripped and I'm ready to conquer the course! You can call me the "Manhole Ninja""
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Dec 6, 2019 15:00
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how huge are her turds
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Dec 6, 2019 15:05
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Does that means she kills people
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Dec 6, 2019 15:05
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I think Samurai beats Ninja in the grand scheme of things, so maybe start learning some Samurai moves? It would also help if you are already blind or are willing to blind yourself to become The Blind Swordsman, because then you get an extra bonus against ninjas because their stealthy techniques don't work on a man without vision.
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Dec 6, 2019 15:10
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The Ninja is a coward without honor or home. Every day your wife brings new shame to your doorstep.
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Dec 6, 2019 15:12
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A Fancy Hat posted:I think Samurai beats Ninja in the grand scheme of things, so maybe start learning some Samurai moves? It would also help if you are already blind or are willing to blind yourself to become The Blind Swordsman, because then you get an extra bonus against ninjas because their stealthy techniques don't work on a man without vision. I have a fairly strong eye glasses prescription. Does this count?
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Dec 6, 2019 15:26
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Ninja, please
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Dec 6, 2019 15:38
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:Ninja, please Lol
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Dec 6, 2019 15:39
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Do you high five your wife's trainer while he is railing her or after he cums?
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Dec 6, 2019 15:44
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Universe Master posted:Do you high five your wife's trainer while he is railing her or after he cums? Dude. I wait until after, come on, it's not polite to interrupt. You know this.
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Dec 6, 2019 15:59
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Is she okay with the fact that ur just a big city made of beef
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Dec 6, 2019 15:59
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Does she tend to disappear in a cloud of smoke? Do the disappearances correlate with Taco Bell visits?
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Dec 6, 2019 16:01
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I'm just a hunk-a hunk-a burnin' brisket. She's knows this. That's what she married.
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Dec 6, 2019 16:02
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A woman goes to see a lawyer for a divorce, he asks about her husband. "He's a ninja," she says. "I see," the lawyer replies. "And why do you want to divorce him?" "It's his ninja training, really." "Oh," says the now worried lawyer. "Does he... harm you in some way?" "No no no. He's a kind, loving man, a wonderful father to our children and a wonderful man to live with." "So why do you want to divorce him?" "It's... it's the sex. It's terrible. The ninja training has ruined him." "Really? I thought ninja were trained to the peak of physical fitness and endurance." "They are. They're also trained to get in and out undetected."
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Dec 6, 2019 16:06
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Your wife has no honor!
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Dec 6, 2019 16:16
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Haudoken input is quarter circle upward from the bottom of the stick to the direction you are facing. Use this knowledge well, OP.
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Dec 6, 2019 16:20
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Leonardo leads, not Raphael. So many people make that mistake, even though it's right in the song.
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Dec 6, 2019 16:22
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Putty posted:Haudoken input is quarter circle upward from the bottom of the stick to the direction you are facing. Use this knowledge well, OP. 
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Dec 6, 2019 16:27
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OP’s wife no longer needs help reaching the top shelf thanks to her new double jump ability.
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Dec 6, 2019 16:28
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"I'm Deb, mother of 5 beautiful boys and 8 girls. After my 3rd husband died on my 26th birthday my mom called me and said, 'You go girl! Don' you be cryin' So I started watching ANW and working out hard core, dumping my kids on my mom and pops running non stop, lifting heavy cement blocks and climbing rusty structures. Us ladies can do anything the boys can do 1/3rd of the way! Call me Sunshine Window Ninja. This is for my babies - Woooo" -Falls first obstacle I watched a lot of ANW, sorry
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Dec 6, 2019 17:05
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| # ? Apr 23, 2024 08:20 |
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OMFG FURRY posted:my experience with ninjas is playing tenchu enough to unlock the g string costume for the killer lady and just jumping around stages to see her butt, thats my ninja story While both Ayame and Rikimaru studied under Master Shiunsai, only Ayame mastered the deadly straddling based ninjutsus - powerful assassination techniques channeling the ninja's strength through their groin and thighs.
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Dec 6, 2019 17:07
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