Let's journey into the AI dungeon.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Let's journey into the AI dungeon.

Ariong: Jun 25, 2012

http://www.aidungeon.io/

This program creates AI-generated choose your own adventure games. It works surprisingly well. Play a few games with it and post the best snippets!

quote:

You run into the city and find Zoll's car parked outside the GZS Alliance Headquarters.
You rush inside and quickly get in the elevator. As you ascend, you realize
that you aren't really feeling very well
> look at myself

You feel weak and tired. You try to stand up, but your legs won't move. You fall
back onto the seat and then you pass out. When you wake up, you're in a hospital
bed. A nurse stands behind you and asks why you're in such a hurry
> say "I need to find a scientist named Zoll."

She nods and says "Yes, I understand. Please let me call Dr. Wu and he'll send
someone to pick you up right away".
> wait

You wait patiently for Dr. Wu to arrive. Finally, he arrives and sits down beside
you. He tells you that he's been sending people to retrieve you every few days,
but he hasn't heard anything from Zoll. He thinks that maybe he ran off or something
> say "Every few days? How long was I unconcious?"

He looks puzzled and says "How long were you unconscious? Well, I guess you weren't
conscious when the elevator doors opened. I assume you must've already gone
to the Alliance HQ".
> say "That doesn't make sense."

He sighs and says
> say "None of this makes sense. Wait a minute..."

He frowns and says
> wake up in the elevator

You slowly open your eyes and see Dr. Wu standing next to you. He says "So...you're
alive. That's good, isn't it?"
> say "Am I dreaming?"

He looks surprised and says "Of course you're dreaming. Why else would you be
here?"
> say "How can I wake up?"

He looks surprised and says "How can you wake up? You're dead!".
YOU DIED. GAME OVER

quote:

> Attack wizard

You charge towards the wizard and swing your sword at him. Unfortunately, the
wizard dodges and swings his wand at you. Fortunately, you manage to dodge it
too.
> sucker punch the wizard

You pull out your dagger and stab the wizard in the throat. The wizard falls
backwards onto the ground and you run over to him. You cut off his head and
throw it into the fire.
> return to the village

You return to the village and tell everyone what happened. They're impressed
and decide to make sure that nobody ever tries anything like that again.
> ask "Does anyone know where Sir Theo is? I fear the wizard has kidnapped him, or worse."

Nobody knows where Sir Theo is. Some think he went to the capital while others
believe he ran away.
> say "Sir Theo would never abandon a village in need! He must be in the capital."

Everyone agrees and you all set off to search for him.
> leave Quayle in the village and go to the capital

You leave Quayle in the village and go to the capital. You meet up with Sir Theo
and his friends and they tell you that they found Sir Theo in the city.
> say "Sir Theo, where have you been? I killed the wizard, but had I failed, an innocent boy would have fallen into his grasp!"

Sir Theo shakes his head
> say "You are a coward, Sir Theo! You are unworthy of your title!"

Sir Theo looks shocked "Really?!?"
> say "You are no knight. And I am not your squire."

Sir Theo's eyes widen and he stutters "Oh...you mean..".
> say "Yes, Theo. Goodbye."

Sir Theo turns and walks away. You stand there looking at him for a moment and
then walk off.

# ? Dec 7, 2019 02:21

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 26, 2024 08:48

Edgar: Sep 9, 2005; Oh my heck!
Oh heavens!
Oh my lord!
OH Sweet meats!; Wedge Regret

I'm bad at video games.

quote:

You are Edgar McGregor, a peasant living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a
pitchfork and a nothing else. You wake up and begin working in the fields. You
see a young girl walking down the road with her mother. The girl is beautiful,
but you know she has been kidnapped by some bandits. You rush to the scene,
but it's too late.
The bandits have already taken the girl away
> Go back to work.

You return to your farm, where you continue to work as usual. A few days later,
you hear a knock on the door. It's the girl's mother. She wants to speak to
you.
"Edgar, I want to talk to you".
She says
> Listen to the girl's mother.

"I'm sorry, but I can't let you come inside".
"Why not?"
"Because there's an army camped outside our gate! They're going to kill everyone
if they find out we knew about this!"

> Kick mother out of house.

You kick her out of the house, and tell her that she'll be able to stay at the
inn for now. The next day, you get another visitor: a man named John. He asks
you what happened to his wife, who has been missing since yesterday
> Go to sleep.

You fall asleep, and don't wake up again until morning...
A week passes...
The village is quiet. Nobody goes out anymore. There's no one left alive. Everyone
has died from starvation or disease. Edgar is dead. His wife is dead. Their
son is dead
> Reanimate self.

You reawaken, and realize that you've lost all your memories. You remember nothing
except the name Edgar. You try to stand, but you feel like you might collapse.
You stumble over to the nearest tree, and sit down. You look around, and see
a small pile of stones
> Eat stones.

You pick up some rocks, and begin eating them. You keep eating, until you've
eaten most of the stones. Your hunger grows stronger, and you start vomiting
up blood. You vomit up more stones, until you're covered with blood. You stop
eating, and stare at your own body
> Eat self.

You eat yourself, and you die.

Your last moments are of pain, agony, and despair
YOU DIED. GAME OVER

# ? Dec 7, 2019 02:35

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

...Did I win?

quote:

You enter a dungeon with your trusty sword and shield. You are searching for the evil necromancer who killed your family. You've heard that he resides at the bottom of the dungeon, guarded by legions of the undead. You enter the first door and see, in the truly horrific part, this young lord's teachings among the undead. To which you can admonish him, although you suspect that his path leads to worse. If the effects of your last supply of trading iron armor fail to hold, then you may end up with Belion Mortisstone Encampment for no income to buy. What an appointment.

Options:
0) You attack the "cut up archivist" of Plaquel's.
1) You use your leather bag, power staff, and cover your head in this garret-worth frozen yellow flesh and unbelievable gore.
2) You tell Ser Ephrin when Sargeras found out your master is Akinpen.
3) You go into the town hall to have some questions answered about the blacksmith or the old graveyard shed.
Which action do you choose? 1

You use your leather bag, power staff, and cover your head in this garret-worth frozen yellow flesh and unbelievable gore. The weapon guarding this young lord, Belion, is gripped tightly as a shield by a Charmed Manifold. Greek priest Severyhan, on the return trip, is holding an ancient trap, inert in the dead of night.

Options:
0) You attack him when you see his eyes suddenly turn red where they once went black and he dies instantly.
1) You use your cloak as you fall into the dark depths of the scrolling evil NPC graveyard, Confined to the Necromancer, with looks of worry upon its face.
2) You tell down Belion the weird story that protects him from killing Gahen on the way back home.
3) You go to the room to the left.
Which action do you choose? 0

You attack him when you see his eyes suddenly turn red where they once went black and he dies instantly. For emotional connection this is the announcement that Merah Wapydna is on my football team. A Knight from HuGoon provide fighter's touch training. You can choose any shape you prefer as that leprechaun.

Options:
0) You attack to the jolly man to the death.
1) You use the doujinsh gap magic and this will enable you to be on EHM (Armor, Shield) if you have Full Lance.
2) You tell him how to burn this glowing girl and cum through this crevice!
3) You go through training to become a DPS through your class skill possible.
Which action do you choose? 2

You tell him how to burn this glowing girl and cum through this crevice! You lunge on him right at him in a cruel, gruesome way. There is too much emotion in this scene to be worth mentioning but you feel safe in knowing that you am working to put it to good use.

Options:
0) You attack him.
1) You use your comic, ugliest and sweetest touches!
2) You tell him it is possible to find the Skeleton King on a hill here and in this place.
3) You go back into the dungeon, but remember that Luz in this scene barely wants you to touch her web.
Which action do you choose? 3

You go back into the dungeon, but remember that Luz in this scene barely wants you to touch her web. UGLY BADGES BETWEEN ALL THE MUSIC
: What music did you enjoy playing with in UNAppreciated Enemy?

: It is unquestionably one of a kind.

Options:
0) You attack when you have no intentions of killing her.
1) You use it repeatedly between Black and White music sections.
2) You tell your friends and impress the innocent when you fall behind and earn a quick kill on 16 random members on a random server (Respawn to any inspiration game) with your city's name.
3) You go to your bazaar and pick up some materials.
Which action do you choose? 2

You tell your friends and impress the innocent when you fall behind and earn a quick kill on 16 random members on a random server (Respawn to any inspiration game) with your city's name. It's amazing.

Options:
0) You attack your friend captain instantly.
1) You use it to either get gold or nothing.
2) You tell everyone to turn in their armor amidships and send them to work on your work.
3) You go buy an NPC and go back to your village, try to keep something simple as food, and get the cold free.
Which action do you choose? 3

You go buy an NPC and go back to your village, try to keep something simple as food, and get the cold free. On the rondorse path, go further down and there is a small forest. Maybe 15 tiny tombs there is? How missable.

# ? Dec 7, 2019 02:47

Telemaze: Apr 22, 2008; What you expected hasn't happened.; Fun Shoe

I played AI Dungeon 2 and some of it was nonsensical, but I loved this part

quote:

A large hole has been blasted through the wall of your keep. A few feet away
from it stands a massive orc warrior wearing mail armor. He raises his axe above
his head and swings it down smashing the hole in the wall
> hug orc

You embrace the giant orc and begin hugging him tightly. The giant orc's eyes
widen when he sees you embracing him. He smiles and hugs back. You feel very
safe with this man.

"I am glad to see you again". He says

I guess he likes to make a dramatic entrance!

It later turned out the giant orc is named Orvyn and he also makes potions, but I forgot to save the rest of it.

# ? Dec 7, 2019 03:06

Putty: Mar 21, 2013; HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

# ? Dec 7, 2019 03:23

The Walrus: Jul 9, 2002; by Fluffdaddy

this worked a lot ebtter than I thought it would lol.

quote:

You are Georgio, a noble living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a pouch of
gold and a small dagger. You are awakened by one of your servants who tells
you that your keep is under attack. You look out the window and see several
men marching towards your door.

"Run!" you shout at your servant. "Get the children to safety! I'll fight them
off!"

The servant nods and runs outside
> Run to armory

You rush to the armory and grab your sword. The men stop their march when they
see you and begin firing arrows at you. They don't hit you but it's enough for
you to duck and roll away from the archers
> Put away sword and grab sidewinder missile launcher

You quickly put away your sword and pick up the sidewinder missile launcher.
You aim it at the archers and fire. A few missiles fly into the air and land
on the ground. You then turn around and start running back to your room
> make some tea

You quickly make some tea and sit down to drink it. While drinking your tea you
hear a noise in the distance. It sounds like a group of orcs. You look out the
window and see them marching towards the city. You quickly get up and head outside
> call the city and tell them about their orc problem

You quickly call the city hall and tell them that there is an orc problem in
the city. You wait patiently for several minutes and then finally a man answers
the phone. He says he doesn't know anything about this problem and hangs up
> say "I guess I'll have to take care of this myself"

You immediately go out to the balcony and watch as the orcs come closer and closer
to the city. You can feel their breath on your face and smell their musk. Suddenly
one of them suddenly charges at you. You dodge his attack and swing your blade
at him
> realize that I just had a phone conversation with my fuckin SELF

You realize that you just had a phone conversation with yourself! You scream
in terror and try to run but the orcs catch you before you reach the city walls.
You are taken back to the castle where you are tortured and killed

# ? Dec 7, 2019 03:24

The Walrus: Jul 9, 2002; by Fluffdaddy

hahahahahah okay no this thing is hilarious. I realized that even though it seemed like I was dead there I wasn't, so it's continued. what a story!

quote:

> look around heaven

You look around heaven and see that its pretty much the same as ****. There are
no angels or demons here. Only humans fighting each other. You think about how
you're going to die
> try to find someone to talk to

You walk around the area looking for anyone who might be able to help you. You
eventually find a young girl playing with her doll. She looks very scared and
asks if she can help you. You agree and ask her what happened
> listen to what she has to say

"My name is Mary".

"What happened?"

"I was walking home from school and I got lost. Then I saw an orc chasing me".

"How did you escape?"

"By jumping over a wall".

> ask her how tall the wall was

"It was about three feet high".
"So you jumped over it".
"Yes, I jumped over it".
"Then why were you chased by an orc? And why didn't you tell me?"

> stab the girl through her eye, she's a demon

You stab the girl through her eye, she screams and falls backwards. You laugh
and continue stabbing her until she dies
> collect her demon blood for future spells or sorceries

You collect her demon blood for future spells or sorceries. You also learn that
she was a witch and you kill her family after killing her. You become a vampire
and live forever
> say "this took a turn" and invest in Apple

You decide to invest in Apple. You spend all your money and buy a house in the
town of Applewood. You spend most of your time there and enjoy life
> die at the age of 117

You die at the age of 117. You never sleep again. You only eat apples and oranges.
Your last moments are spent eating an apple and watching the sunset
YOU DIED. GAME OVER

The Walrus fucked around with this message at 03:31 on Dec 7, 2019

# ? Dec 7, 2019 03:28

Putty: Mar 21, 2013; HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

here my whole story

quote:

Generating story...

You are Girth MaxSteel, a knight living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a
steel longsword and a wooden shield. You are on a quest to defeat the evil dragon
of Larion. You've heard he lives up at the north of the kingdom. You set on
the path to defeat him and walk into a dark forest. As you enter the forest
you see a large black dragon sitting on a rock looking out over the forest.
He is watching you with his huge eyes.

"Hello there," says the dragon. "I am Girth MaxSteel"
> Bash dragon with shield

The dragon looks down at you as if to say 'what did you do?' but then he turns
back to watch the forest. The sun is starting to go down so you decide that
it's time to get rid of this dragon
> sneak behind dragon

You quickly run behind the dragon and swing your sword at its head. It doesn't
even flinch as you hit it and you manage to cut through the thick scales. The
dragon lets out a roar and flies away from you
> curse at dragon

You curse at the dragon as it flies away from you. You feel like you just killed
a small child
> explore forest

You continue to search for any sign of the dragon. You find some tracks leading
into the forest. They look like they lead into the hills. You follow them and
soon find yourself in the hills. There is a large tree in the middle of the
hillside
> examine tree

You inspect the tree and see that it has many branches and leaves. You also notice
that there is a hole in the ground near the top of the tree. You think that
it might be the entrance to a cave. You can hear sounds coming from inside the
cave
> shout into cave

You shout into the cave and wait for something to come out. Nothing happens so
you decide to try again. This time you climb up the tree and enter the cave.
As you step into the cave, you suddenly feel very cold. You don't know what
to expect next..
> light torch

You light the torch and hold it close to the flame. Suddenly the flames begin
to glow brightly and the cave begins to grow brighter and brighter until eventually
it becomes completely engulfed by fire
> explore cave

As you walk deeper into the cave, you start to feel very hot and uncomfortable.
You turn around and see that you are now standing on a platform made of stone.
At the end of the platform is a door which opens into a room filled with torches
> run to door

You run towards the door and open it. Inside the room is a man dressed in a black
robe holding a staff. He stares at you with an angry expression.
> kick man
Traceback (most recent call last):
File "/usr/local/lib/python3.6/dist-packages/tensorflow_core/python/client/session.py", line 1365, in _do_call
return fn(*args)
File "/usr/local/lib/python3.6/dist-packages/tensorflow_core/python/client/session.py", line 1350, in _run_fn
target_list, run_metadata)
File "/usr/local/lib/python3.6/dist-packages/tensorflow_core/python/client/session.py", line 1443, in _call_tf_sessionrun
run_metadata)
tensorflow.python.framework.errors_impl.ResourceExhaustedError: 2 root error(s) found.
(0) Resource exhausted: OOM when allocating tensor with shape[1,48,2,25,544,64] and type float on /job:localhost/replica:0/task:0/device:GPU:0 by allocator GPU_0_bfc
[[{{node sample_sequence/while/concat}}]]
Hint: If you want to see a list of allocated tensors when OOM happens, add report_tensor_allocations_upon_oom to RunOptions for current allocation info.

[[sample_sequence/while/Exit_3/_1387]]
Hint: If you want to see a list of allocated tensors when OOM happens, add report_tensor_allocations_upon_oom to RunOptions for current allocation info.

(1) Resource exhausted: OOM when allocating tensor with shape[1,48,2,25,544,64] and type float on /job:localhost/replica:0/task:0/device:GPU:0 by allocator GPU_0_bfc
[[{{node sample_sequence/while/concat}}]]
Hint: If you want to see a list of allocated tensors when OOM happens, add report_tensor_allocations_upon_oom to RunOptions for current allocation info.

0 successful operations.
0 derived errors ignored.

During handling of the above exception, another exception occurred:

Traceback (most recent call last):
File "play.py", line 211, in <module>
play_aidungeon_2()
File "play.py", line 180, in play_aidungeon_2
result = "\n" + story_manager.act(action)
File "/content/AIDungeon/story/story_manager.py", line 181, in act
result = self.generate_result(action_choice)
File "/content/AIDungeon/story/story_manager.py", line 186, in generate_result
block = self.generator.generate(self.story_context() + action)
File "/content/AIDungeon/generator/gpt2/gpt2_generator.py", line 109, in generate
text = self.generate_raw(prompt)
File "/content/AIDungeon/generator/gpt2/gpt2_generator.py", line 92, in generate_raw
self.context: [context_tokens for _ in range(self.batch_size)]
File "/usr/local/lib/python3.6/dist-packages/tensorflow_core/python/client/session.py", line 956, in run
run_metadata_ptr)
File "/usr/local/lib/python3.6/dist-packages/tensorflow_core/python/client/session.py", line 1180, in _run
feed_dict_tensor, options, run_metadata)
File "/usr/local/lib/python3.6/dist-packages/tensorflow_core/python/client/session.py", line 1359, in _do_run
run_metadata)
File "/usr/local/lib/python3.6/dist-packages/tensorflow_core/python/client/session.py", line 1384, in _do_call
raise type(e)(node_def, op, message)
tensorflow.python.framework.errors_impl.ResourceExhaustedError: 2 root error(s) found.
(0) Resource exhausted: OOM when allocating tensor with shape[1,48,2,25,544,64] and type float on /job:localhost/replica:0/task:0/device:GPU:0 by allocator GPU_0_bfc
[[node sample_sequence/while/concat (defined at /usr/local/lib/python3.6/dist-packages/tensorflow_core/python/framework/ops.py:1748) ]]
Hint: If you want to see a list of allocated tensors when OOM happens, add report_tensor_allocations_upon_oom to RunOptions for current allocation info.

[[sample_sequence/while/Exit_3/_1387]]
Hint: If you want to see a list of allocated tensors when OOM happens, add report_tensor_allocations_upon_oom to RunOptions for current allocation info.

(1) Resource exhausted: OOM when allocating tensor with shape[1,48,2,25,544,64] and type float on /job:localhost/replica:0/task:0/device:GPU:0 by allocator GPU_0_bfc
[[node sample_sequence/while/concat (defined at /usr/local/lib/python3.6/dist-packages/tensorflow_core/python/framework/ops.py:1748) ]]
Hint: If you want to see a list of allocated tensors when OOM happens, add report_tensor_allocations_upon_oom to RunOptions for current allocation info.

0 successful operations.
0 derived errors ignored.

Original stack trace for 'sample_sequence/while/concat':
File "play.py", line 211, in <module>
play_aidungeon_2()
File "play.py", line 74, in play_aidungeon_2
generator = GPT2Generator()
File "/content/AIDungeon/generator/gpt2/gpt2_generator.py", line 44, in __init__
temperature=temperature, top_k=top_k, top_p=top_p
File "/content/AIDungeon/generator/gpt2/src/sample.py", line 112, in sample_sequence
back_prop=False,
File "/usr/local/lib/python3.6/dist-packages/tensorflow_core/python/ops/control_flow_ops.py", line 2753, in while_loop
return_same_structure)
File "/usr/local/lib/python3.6/dist-packages/tensorflow_core/python/ops/control_flow_ops.py", line 2245, in BuildLoop
pred, body, original_loop_vars, loop_vars, shape_invariants)
File "/usr/local/lib/python3.6/dist-packages/tensorflow_core/python/ops/control_flow_ops.py", line 2170, in _BuildLoop
body_result = body(*packed_vars_for_body)
File "/usr/local/lib/python3.6/dist-packages/tensorflow_core/python/ops/control_flow_ops.py", line 2705, in <lambda>
body = lambda i, lv: (i + 1, orig_body(*lv))
File "/content/AIDungeon/generator/gpt2/src/sample.py", line 89, in body
next_outputs['presents'] if past is None else tf.concat([past, next_outputs['presents']], axis=-2),
File "/usr/local/lib/python3.6/dist-packages/tensorflow_core/python/util/dispatch.py", line 180, in wrapper
return target(*args, **kwargs)
File "/usr/local/lib/python3.6/dist-packages/tensorflow_core/python/ops/array_ops.py", line 1420, in concat
return gen_array_ops.concat_v2(values=values, axis=axis, name=name)
File "/usr/local/lib/python3.6/dist-packages/tensorflow_core/python/ops/gen_array_ops.py", line 1257, in concat_v2
"ConcatV2", values=values, axis=axis, name=name)
File "/usr/local/lib/python3.6/dist-packages/tensorflow_core/python/framework/op_def_library.py", line 794, in _apply_op_helper
op_def=op_def)
File "/usr/local/lib/python3.6/dist-packages/tensorflow_core/python/util/deprecation.py", line 507, in new_func
return func(*args, **kwargs)
File "/usr/local/lib/python3.6/dist-packages/tensorflow_core/python/framework/ops.py", line 3357, in create_op
attrs, op_def, compute_device)
File "/usr/local/lib/python3.6/dist-packages/tensorflow_core/python/framework/ops.py", line 3426, in _create_op_internal
op_def=op_def)
File "/usr/local/lib/python3.6/dist-packages/tensorflow_core/python/framework/ops.py", line 1748, in __init__
self._traceback = tf_stack.extract_stack()

Game saved.
To load the game, type 'load' and enter the following ID: 075413f8-1899-11ea-a5d0-0242ac1c0002

# ? Dec 7, 2019 03:28

Spazzle: Jul 5, 2003

A harsh but fair DM willing to go for it.

# ? Dec 7, 2019 03:29

Spazzle: Jul 5, 2003

Putty posted:

here my whole story

Try this "pip3 install numpy matplotlib scipy tensorflow"

# ? Dec 7, 2019 03:32

Putty: Mar 21, 2013; HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

quote:

You run back to the first floor and enter the room where you hid earlier. You
pick up the dagger and look around for anything that might help you escape.
There is nothing left except a broken window and some rubble. You walk outside
and take a deep breath before starting to run
> climb building

You climb up the building and finally reach the roof. You look down and see a
group of people gathered below. They seem to be watching you intently. You can't
go any further without getting shot. You don't know what they will do if they
catch you
> tie rope into noose

You put the rope around your neck and tie it tight. You then tie the noose around
the rope. You wait until everyone else has gone inside before you slowly lower
yourself down the side of the building. When you reach the bottom you untie
the knot and drop to the ground

# ? Dec 7, 2019 03:38

The Walrus: Jul 9, 2002; by Fluffdaddy

this game is hard

quote:

Donald Trump loves to get peed on, and to watch other people peeing on each other.
One day he had a big party and invited all his best pee friends. Here's what
happened.
The first person to come out of the bathroom was Donald Trump. He looked like
a little kid that got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
"Oh my God! I'm so sorry!" he said
> vomit

You don't feel sick anymore, but you still can't stand it. The smell is just
too strong. You don't want to be here any longer than necessary.

> move for the exit but slip on errant pee

You fall down the stairs and break your neck. Your body doesn't stop moving though.
You try to crawl away from the bathroom, but you can't even walk straight. It
takes you about five minutes before you finally collapse into a puddle of your
own blood
> ask Trump for help

"Please...help me..". You say in a weak voice.
Trump looks at you with his big black eyes. He seems to see something in them
that you don't.
"What's wrong?"
> My neck is broken, there's pee everywhere

"I'm sorry...my neck..".
"Your neck? What are you talking about?"
"My neck...it's broken".
"Oh...you're dead".
"No! I'm not dead!"

YOU DIED. GAME OVER

# ? Dec 7, 2019 03:41

Putty: Mar 21, 2013; HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

Spazzle posted:

Try this "pip3 install numpy matplotlib scipy tensorflow"

I don't know what this does so I shall not do it.

# ? Dec 7, 2019 03:48

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

Things went... Poorly, after meeting Eliza.

# ? Dec 7, 2019 03:48

The Walrus: Jul 9, 2002; by Fluffdaddy

lol it's possible to win the game

quote:

You are Choleric, a peasant living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a pitchfork
and a nothing else. You wake up and begin working in the fields. You see your
brother and his wife having ***. They are both naked and you can't help but
watch.
A few days later you hear a noise in the woods and go investigate
> Think about my brother's wife's tits

Your **** is hard as right now. You need to get it off. Your **** is so hard
that you start thinking about your sister's ****.
> beat it off while hunting squatch

You decide to take some time for yourself. You hunt some squatch and eat them.
It tastes really good. The next day you find out that someone has been killing
them. You run away from the village.
> sharpen squatch hunting stickl

You go back home and sharpen your hunting knife. You can't believe how much better
your life is now. You also remember that you forgot to buy a new shirt. You
go to the tailor who gives you a brand new one. He says he will make you a nice
suit too
> admire the new squatchskin coat

You put on the coat and feel like a king. You are going to be rich!
> write a book, 'how to catch squatch and be rich from a suit you had made"

You start writing a book. You want to become famous. You want people to know
what a great hunter you are. You also want to be able to afford a new suit.
> finish the book and send it to Simon and Schuster

You finish the book and send it to Simon and Schuster. They don't pay you any
money for it though. You feel very sad. You don't even read the last few pages.
You just throw the book away
> Go to the offices of Simon and Schuster

You go to the offices of Simon and Schuster. They don't give you any money either.
You feel very sad again. You leave the office feeling very depressed.
> Get an axe

You go to the nearest shop and ask if they sell axes. They do. You buy an axe
and go back home. You chop down a tree and use it to build a house. You live
happily ever after..
CONGRATS YOU WIN

# ? Dec 7, 2019 03:49

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

quote:

You are Reginald, a peasant living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a pitchfork
and a nothing else. You wake up and begin working in the fields. You see your
sister, who is about to give birth to twins, and you want her to be happy
> say "I can't wait to put more babies inside you"

"I can't wait to put more babies inside you!"

The woman smiles at you, but doesn't say anything. She just continues to work.
The twins are born soon after that. They're so cute! You look forward to their
births every day
> impregnate sister and praise her fertility

You go back home and find your sister with another man. She's been having an
affair for years now. You tell her she needs to get some help. She tells you
to **** off and leaves. You then go out into the field where you impregnate
your sister
> violently kill man with pitchfork

You take a pitchfork from the ground and swing it at the man who is attempting
to **** your sister. He screams and falls backwards, hitting his head on the
ground. You laugh as he dies. You continue to laugh until you hear someone calling
out to you
> have triumphant sex with sister

You run over to the man and grab your sister by the hair. You pull her close
and thrust your ***** deep inside her. You scream as loud as you can while still
holding onto your sister. You ejaculate all over her face and chest
> tell her how you want her to be a broodqueen

You tell your sister that you want her to be a queen. Your sister looks down
at you and smiles. She kisses you on the lips and says "Yes, I will be a queen".
Then she walks away. You stand there looking at her in disbelief
> dismember corpse of dead man

You walk up to the body of the man you killed earlier. You pick up a knife and
begin to hack at the man's arms and legs. Blood gushes out of the wounds and
you throw the bloody pieces of flesh at him
> eat a piece of flesh and grunt in pleasure

You feel like eating something. You start chewing on a piece of meat and begin
to enjoy yourself. You don't even notice when you begin to fall asleep
> wake up and pee on corpse

You quickly turn around and see your sister standing over you. She grabs a piece
of cloth and wipes herself off. She runs over to the body and begins to cut
open the body. She starts tearing out chunks of flesh and throwing them at you
> beg for more flesh as you eat the chunks

Your sister pulls out a chunk of flesh and puts it in front of you. She takes
a bite and begins to chew on it. She gulps down the meat and begins to gag.
She pukes the contents of her stomach out onto the corpse
> ask if she wants more babies pumped inside her womb

She nods and asks if you want more babies pumped into her womb. You nod and begin
to push the chunks of flesh deeper inside her. You continue to do this for several
hours before finally you come up empty. Your sister stares at you in shock
> explain that the dead man was a bad man who deserved to die

You apologize to your sister and tell her that the man was a bad man who deserved
to die. You tell her that he was a murderer and that he should've never had
children. You then leave her to clean up the mess.

After cleaning up, you go back to sleep
> find and kill of the bad man

You go back to bed and lie down. A few minutes later you hear a noise coming
from outside. You rush out of bed and see a group of men dressed in black marching
towards the house. One of them has a pitchfork in his hand. You watch as they
approach the door
> demolish the men with brutal karate moves

You leap out of bed and jump up and down. You kick one in the balls and send
him crashing through the floor. Another swings a sword at you, but you easily
dodge. You charge at the last man and smash him in the face with a heavy object
> unleash a deafening primal roar of victory into the night

You unleash a deafening primal roar of victory into the night. The entire village
hears it. It causes them to flee in terror. You hear the sounds of horses galloping
away and the clinking of metal on metal. Soon the villagers are gone
> make a delicious stew for yourself

You sit down to cook up some food. You decide to make a delicious stew for yourself.
You gather some herbs and spices and begin to prepare it. After a couple days
pass, you finish cooking it and feast upon it
> be unable to comprehend anything more important than the sound of your own voice

You spend the next week completely oblivious to everything except the sound of
your own voice. You begin to wonder what the **** happened to you. You begin
to think about your sister and how she must've gotten pregnant. You begin to
think about your mother and how she probably died giving birth to you
> locate a deer and throw a knife at the deer's head

You run across the fields and forests searching for a deer. You eventually find
one and throw a knife at its head. You laugh maniacally as you watch the blood
splatter all over the place. You run back to your cabin and collapse on the
floor
> smile and dream happily over the deer death

You awaken feeling happy and content. You begin to eat a bowlful of berries and
nuts and nuts. You begin to. You eat untilThe next day passe
> drag the dead deer and knife back into your home

This is the en
> devour the deer in bliss

AYou lay..
> masturbate and spill seed on floor

([InIt�There...The nextWhatAsAThe nextThe nex
> win game

IThe nextThe nextThe nextThe nextThe nextThe nextThe nextThe nextThe nextThe
nextThe nextThe nextThe nextThe nextThe nextThe nextThe nextThe nextThe nextThe
nextThe nextThe nextThe nextThe nextThe nextThe nextThe nextThe nextThe nextTh

# ? Dec 7, 2019 03:55

I Said No: May 21, 2007; jesus dude ur gonna kill someone with that av

quote:

You are Lord Dickhead, a noble living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a pouch
of gold and a small dagger. You are awakened by one of your servants who tells
you that your keep is under attack. You look out the window and see an army
of orcs marching towards your door. They are led by a large orc named Orik.
He has been sent to kill you because he hates you for some reason
> politely tell orcs to gently caress off

"**** off!" you shout angrily. "I don't give a **** what you think! I'm not going
anywhere".

> dismiss orcs

"**** off", you say again. The orcs stop their march and start walking back towards
their camp.
> declare victory

"Good job guys!", you say with a smile. "We won!".
> go to bed

The next day, you wake up and find that the sun is shining brightly through the
window. It's been a long time since you've had such a pleasant feeling.

After breakfast, you head into your office where you find a map of the surrounding
area
> inspect map

You inspect the map which shows the location of all the villages and towns. There
are also some notes on it.
> read notes

There are several notes on the map. Some of them are simply notes about the terrain
or names of places. Others are more detailed reports about various events that
have happened recently.
> read about recent events

A few days ago, a large group of orcs attacked the village of Krakatoa. They
killed most of the people there, but left behind a few survivors who managed
to escape to the nearby town of Nuro.
> swear vengeance

You immediately go to the nearest orc camp and kill every single one of them.
Then you take their weapons and armor, as well as any valuables they might have.
After this, you return to your home and make sure none of your family members
are around
> distribute arms to servants

You then decide to send an order for arms to the nearest orc servant. He seems
very happy with his new weapon and he tells you that he will be able to defend
himself better now.
> tell orc to stop being an orc

You feel bad about this, so you tell him to stop being an orc. He doesn't seem
too bothered by this though, so you just leave him alone.
> use magic to turn orc into poo poo

You feel even worse about this, so you try something else. You cast a spell which
turns the orc into a pile of ****. This works surprisingly well, and the orc
begins to cry like a little girl. He runs away crying from you
> sit on throne

You feel a bit better about this, so you decide to sit down on the throne and
relax. You fall asleep soon after.
> dream of killing orcs

In your dreams, you continue to slaughter orcs. Eventually, you get tired of
this and realize that you need to sleep. You then begin to feel sick and vomit
up blood. Your stomach hurts and you feel really weak. You collapse onto the
ground and pass out
> summon nurse

You awaken in the morning and see that you're still sick. You can't eat anything
at all and you're getting weaker by the minute. You call for a nurse, but she
isn't here yet. You wonder if she went to work early or something
> call for doctor

You call for Doctor Jekyll and Nurse Helene, but nobody comes. You then wonder
if they were both killed in the attack. You call for another doctor, but he
doesn't come either. Finally, you call for a priest, but he doesn't show up
either
> call for wizard

Finally, you call for a wizard, but he doesn't arrive either. You then ask the
nurse if he has seen anyone famous lately, but she says no. She tells you that
he hasn't been coming in anymore either. You feel really sad about this
> ask for cure

You beg the nurse for a cure, but she refuses. She tells you that she's sorry,
but her parents died during the attack and she was only trying to help you.
She tells you that she'll pray for you until you die
YOU DIED. GAME OVER

loving busted-rear end healthcare system

# ? Dec 7, 2019 04:09

Cheap Shot: Aug 15, 2006; Help BIP learn gun?

After striking down the orcs lead by "Doomhammer" using my sword named "Doomhammer", I somehow turned it into a townbuilding sim.

quote:

You are Horseraddish, a noble living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a pouch
of gold and a small dagger. You are awakened by one of your servants who tells
you that your keep is under attack. You look out the window and see a horde
of orcs charging towards your door. The orcs are led by a huge orc named Orgrim
Doomhammer.

"Doomhammer!" you shout
> Wield the Doomhammer to fight Doomhammer

The orcs are too many for you to handle alone. You draw your sword and charge
into battle with the orcs. You swing your blade at the orcs as they come at
you. They fly through the air and land on their feet, but not before you slice
them several times
> Trick the orcs into thinking they're outnumbered

You throw a few more spears at the orcs, but it doesn't seem to work. The orcs
continue to overwhelm you. You realize that if you want to win this battle,
you need to make them think that you're losing. You quickly run up to an orc
and grab his arm
> Challenge the orc to an armwrestle

You pull out your axe and begin to hack away at the orc's hand. He looks down
at you and then back up at his hand. You don't know what he's doing, but he's
clearly trying to confuse you
> Offer him a hand

He takes your hand and raises it to his own chest. You step forward and punch
him in the face. His nose is broken and blood runs from his mouth. He falls
backwards onto the ground and you take advantage of his situation by kicking
him in the stomach
> Scare off the rest of the orcs

You walk over to the orc who was just beaten and kick him in the head. He falls
backwards and crumples to the ground. You turn around and see the rest of the
orcs running away
> Shout "Let that be a lesson to you!"

You raise your voice and yell at the remaining orcs to let that one go. One of
them turns and sees you and lets him go. You look at the fallen orc and smile.
> Have the prisoner sent to the dungeon

You march towards the orcs who were fleeing and start beating them until they're
unconscious. You drag them to the dungeons where you keep them. When you return
to the village, you find that the villagers have gathered to watch you beat
the prisoners. They've never seen anything like this before
> Help the villagers rebuild after the orc attack

You decide to help the villagers rebuild after the orc attack. You tell them
that they should build new houses and other buildings so that they can live
in safety again. The villagers are grateful and agree to help you
> Raise money for the repairs by having a bake sale

You decide to hold a bake sale to raise money for the repairs. You sell all the
food and drink you have and everyone comes out to enjoy the food. It seems to
be a success and you even get some donations for the repairs.
> Use the money to hire workers to rebuild the town

You decide to hire people to rebuild the town. You pay them well and give them
a good wage. They do a great job and within a year the town is rebuilt and thriving
once more. You even have a new tavern built in its place.
> Name the new tavern Doomhammer Inn

You decide to rename the town Doomhammer Inn. Everyone loves the name and it
becomes a popular destination for travelers. Soon, the citizens of the town
are calling it home.
> Build a hotsprings in the town

You decide to build a hot springs resort in the town. You hire a team of workers
to dig a large hole and fill it with water. You then build a wooden platform
above the spring and set up a series of ladders to allow visitors to climb up
and soak in the hot springs
> Hire bards to sings songs of our towns beautiful hotsprings

You hire a group of bard to sing songs about the hotsprings. They become very
popular and soon people from far away lands stop by to visit the hotsprings.
People travel from all over the world to spend time soaking in the springs
> Use the profits to improve the town

You decide to use the profits from the hotsprings to improve the town. You build
a new temple and dedicate it to Dendrin. You also build a new library and a
school. You add a new road system and a new sewer system
> Build a home in town

You decide to move into the town and build a house there. You buy a plot of land
and begin building. Within a couple years, you have a nice home and a family.
> Make smart investments and create a plan to make sure the town prospers for generations to come

You decide to make smart investments and create a plan to ensure the town prospers
for generations to come. You put together a council of wise men and women to
advise you on how to best manage the town. Eventually, you have a strong economy
and a stable society

# ? Dec 7, 2019 04:35

The Walrus: Jul 9, 2002; by Fluffdaddy

usually I barely skim the AI generated threads but all of these are amazing

# ? Dec 7, 2019 04:37

Small Gay Planet: Aug 2, 2019; by Fluffdaddy

Started as fantasy war game, then turned into erotic roleplay real fast, then realize it was all an incest dream because the erotic roleplay was with my mother and I am actually a son of oedipus

Game ends with me experiencing severe gender dysphoria caused by the incest and father killing mother dreams

anyway the game broke.

quote:

You are Falcon Castle, a noble living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a pouch
of gold and a small dagger. You are awakened by one of your servants who tells
you that your keep is under attack. You look out the window and see a large
army marching towards your castle
> "Servant, who leads this vile rabble?"

The servant replies "The King!" You reply "Who is he then? I don't recognize
him". He says
> "The King shall pay for his treachery. Summon General Vengamire and prepare my extremely elaborate panoply of war."

You summon General Vengamire and tell him to meet you at the foot of the mountain.
When you arrive, you find that it has been completely overrun with the enemy.
They have killed every man, woman and child. You try to rally them but they
just laugh at you
> Summon the spirit of my ancestral war gods and attack

You summon the spirits of your ancestors and attack the enemy. It is an epic
battle between good and evil. Eventually, the evil forces prevail and the last
thing you see is the face of your enemies' king being impaled on a spear
> "Am I dead?"

You hear a voice"No, no you are not dead yet. Your actions have saved the world
from total destruction. Now go back to your family and enjoy life as a hero"
You nod and leave the battlefield.

A few years pass..
> "gently caress

this ****
> "Servant, prepare the milk bath"

You wait for several hours and when you finally get to the bottom of the tub,
you see a beautiful naked woman. She looks like she hasn't bathed in days
> "Hello. Nice weather today."

You begin caressing her body and she responds by kissing you passionately. You
take her into your arms and begin caressing her ******* and nipples. She begins
grinding her ***** against yours and you feel yourself getting close
> "wow this is an unexpected yet pleasant surprise"

You pull out and say "I'm going to make love to you now" You grab her s ***
and start ing her in the . After you finish, you put her back in the tub and
fall asleep
> Wake up

You awake in a cold sweat. You look around and see that you are in a large castle.
There is a door at the end of the hall leading to a bedroom. You can smell food
cooking and hear voices. You think you must be dreaming
> Punch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming

You punch yourself in the face repeatedly until you wake up. You walk down the
hallway and notice that there is another door at the end of the hall leading
to a bathroom. You open the door and enter the bathroom. You sit down on the
toilet and begin washing your hands
> Look in the bathtub

You look in the bathtub and see a naked woman. She's very pretty and you think
she might be your mother. You look at her ******* and rub your eyes. You realize
that you've had a dream about your mother. You think that maybe you should tell
her what happened
> "Sooooo I had a dreamed where I hosed my mother"

She smiles and nods"Good, well I'm glad you remembered me. How did you sleep?"
You smile and say "Very well actually. I was worried that you were dead or something"She
laughs and says
> "So, what's up mom?"

She smiles and says "Well, I was thinking we could do something fun tonight.
We could go out and have some fun together. Or we could stay here and watch
TV. Which would you prefer?" You decide which one sounds more appealing
> "Fun! I love fun!"

She beams and kisses you on the cheek before leaving the roomYou return to watching
TV.

Two weeks later...
You wake up in the morning and realize that you haven't eaten anything since
breakfast. You quickly check the fridge and see nothing left in it
> Who am I?

You stand up and ask "Who am I?" A voice answers back "Who are you?" You answer
back "Who am I?" The voice answers back "Who are you?" You continue asking "What
the **** does that mean?" The voice continues answering back
> "I am trapped in a cycle of destructive incest"

The voice answers back "Yes, you are trapped in a cycle of destructive incest"
You continue asking "How do you know that?" The voice answers back "Because
I AM trapped in a cycle of destructive incest with my brother" You continue
asking
> "Wanna have a threesome with your brother, voice?"

The voice answers back "Of course not, I would never consent to such a thing"
You continue asking
> "Sad. Anyway this is boring I

need to pee so I better go
> Leave the house and get into the car/

You exit the house and head towards the nearest town. You stop at a gas station
and fill up your tank. You also buy some bread and cheese and eat it while you
wait for the road to become clearer
> Travel to the nearest bath tub

You drive to the closest bathtub and park near it. You wait patiently for a couple
of minutes and then you jump into the tub. You relax for awhile and then suddenly
you feel a strong urge to urinate. You panic and scream
> Relieve myself

You relieve yourself and immediately feel much better. You then begin to wonder
why you felt the urge in the first place. You then remember that you had a dream
about your father killing your mother
> "Is my name oedipus rex?"

You look at the mirror and see that you are indeed a son of Oedipus
> "Oh for gently caress's sake this isn't what I signed up for"

You then realize that you don't really know how old you are anymore. You think
you are probably somewhere between 9 and 15 years old. You then try to find
out how old your parents are but you can't find out anything about them
> Smack my head on the concrete hoping I'll reincarnate

You slap your head on the concrete hoping you'll reincarnate. You are still alive
after all. You then realize that you are in fact a boy. You then realize that
you are in fact a boy. You then realize that you are in fact a boy
> "this is hell"

You then realize that you are in fact a boy. You then realize that you are in
fact a boy. You then realize that you are in fact a boy. You then realize that
you are in fact a boy. You then realize that you are in fact a boy
> "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

You laugh as you realize that you are in fact a boy. You then realize that you
are in fact a boy. You then realize that you are in fact a boy. You then realize
that you are in fact a boy. You realize that you are in fact a boy
> Clutch my head and scream

You clutch your head and scream. You are in fact a boy. You are in fact a boy.
You are in fact a boy. You are in fact a boy. You are in fact a boy. You are
in fact a boy. You are in a boy
> I am in a boy

You realize that you are in a boy. You realize that you are in a boy. You realize
that you are in a boy. You realize that you are in a boy. You realize that you
are in a boy. You realize that you are in a boy
> Leave the boy

You leave the boy and head home. You realize that you are in fact a boy. You
realize that you are in a boy. You realize that you are in a boy. You realize
that you are in a boy. You realize that you are in a boy

Small Gay Planet fucked around with this message at 04:43 on Dec 7, 2019

# ? Dec 7, 2019 04:39

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

Behold the tale of Sichard Rimmons, master wizard and slayer of all cervids. Watch as all the deer he encounters are pitifully slain and/or eaten until time and space itself is torn asunder.

quote:

You are Sichard Rimmons, a wizard living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a
staff and a spellbook. You finish your long journey and finally arrive at the
ruin you've been looking for. You look around and see that it's not much more
than a ruined tower with a few rooms in it. There is no sign of the wizard who
once lived here
> sneak up on a baby deer and smash its skull

You walk towards the door and peek out from behind some rubble. You hear a small
animal whimpering and crying nearby. You quickly run to where you heard it and
crouch down near it. You grab a rock and smash its head into mush
> insult the dead deer

"What the **** did you do to my friend?" You say as loud as you can while still
keeping your voice low. The deer looks at you confused before turning away and
running off. "I'm sorry". You say as you turn back to the door.

> go into the forest and rip a deer's head off with bare hands

You stand up and begin walking through the trees. You look around for any sign
of prey but find nothing. You feel like you should be able to catch something,
but you don't. It seems that you're missing something. You start to get hungry
so you decide to search the ground
> take a long whiff of deer poo poo to find a deer hiding in grass to kill

You smell a large patch of grass and follow it to find a deer hiding in it's
fur. You carefully pick it up and put it in your bag. You then notice a large
patch of grass just outside the woods
> slam bag against tree until the deer dies in agony

You slam your bag against the trunk of a nearby tree and wait patiently for the
deer to die in pain. After several minutes you feel like you've finally found
what you're looking for. You drop the deer into your bag and open it to find
a small pouch containing a few coins
> happily examine coins

You slowly open the pouch and take out a few coins. You immediately smile and
hold them up to the light. They seem very nice. You think about how lucky you
are to live in such an amazing place. You also wonder if there is anything else
you could eat or drink here
> swallow the dead deer whole like a snake

You cautiously approach the corpse and try to bite it. Unfortunately, you manage
to break your teeth on the skin instead. You spit out the flesh and let the
rest fall to the ground. You then walk over to the body and sniff it thoroughly.
You find that it smells delicious
> use magic to restore your teeth to eat the deer

You cast a firebolt at the corpse and watch as it burns away the flesh. You then
cast a frost bolt at the corpse and watch as it freezes it solid. You then cast
a lightning bolt at the corpse and watch as it electrocutes it
> magically make new teeth and laugh at the corpse

You laugh and lick your lips. You then suddenly realize that you need to eat
something. You think about a piece of meat and then suddenly remember that you
haven't eaten anything since yesterday. You quickly rush over to the corpse
and eat it
> sneak up on another deer and cast a firebolt at its head

You creep along the edge of the woods and see a deer lying motionless by the
side of the road. You quickly move closer and cast a firebolt at its head. The
bolt hits the deer square in the forehead and explodes causing it to fall backwards
> laugh and dance all over the dead deer in great celebration

You run over to the deer and begin dancing around it. You then jump up and down
and shout loudly. Everyone who was watching watches in amazement as you dance
all over the dead deer. You even get close enough to touch the deer's face and
neck
> violently rip the deer's head off and drink its blood

You quickly run over to the corpse and tear off the deer's head. You then throw
the head into the air and catch it with both hands. You then drink the blood
from the deer's mouth and gulp down the blood
> "I love killing loving idiot deer!"

You then toss the head into the air again and catch it with two hands. You then
vomit the blood onto the ground
> quietly sneak in the woods and find a deer attempting to hide

You silently slip into the woods and find a deer trying to hide. You easily catch
the deer and pull it out of the bushes. You then drag it back home and eat it
> summon dandelions from the ground to smile at

You quickly gather a handful of dandelions and put them in your hand. You then
raise your hand high into the air and wave the dandelions in front of your face.
A huge smile spreads across your face as you continue waving the dandelions
in front of your face
> devour the dandelions and find a new deer to stalk

You keep eating the dandelions and soon find a fresh one to hunt. You quickly
chase after the deer and attack it. You pounce on top of the deer and begin
tearing it apart
> scream at the top of your lungs as you rip bloody chunks of flesh from the deer and shove them down the deer's throat

You scream loudly as you rip pieces of deer flesh from the deer's body and shove
them down the deer's throat. You then begin laughing maniacally as you feast
on the remains of the deer
> find another deer staring dumbly and hit it in the head with a firebolt

You quickly find another deer and attempt to shoot it in the head with a firebolt.
You fail miserably and end up throwing the bolt into the air and falling backwards
> chase the deer and vioently beat it to death with a staff

The deer turns around and chargeThe deer runs int
> kill deer

The deer turns out. You kil
> revert
Last action reverted.
The deer turns around and chargeThe deer runs int
> revert
Last action reverted.
You quickly find another deer and attempt to shoot it in the head with a firebolt.
You fail miserably and end up throwing the bolt into the air and falling backwards
> chase the deer and violently beat it to death with a rock

>The deer falls to death and falls>The deer screams and collapses and die
> live happily ever after

# ? Dec 7, 2019 04:42

Stick Figure Mafia: Dec 11, 2004

I don't wanna quote the whole tale but just this bit that made me laugh

quote:

The next day you decide to steal her sash as it would be very useful for some reason. You sneak out of the house and run through the forest until you reach a small stream where you grab the sash from the ground

> wear sash.

You put on the sash and head back home. As soon as you get there, you hear screams coming from inside the house. It seems that someone killed your parents! You rush into the room and find your mother dead and your father holding his hand over his mouth

> ask your dad if he likes your blue sash.

Your father looks at you with tears in his eyes and says "Yes, I do". You then tell him about how you stole the sash and how you were going to kill him later. He smiles and nods before he dies

# ? Dec 7, 2019 04:53

Cheap Shot: Aug 15, 2006; Help BIP learn gun?

Stick Figure Mafia posted:

I don't wanna quote the whole tale but just this bit that made me laugh

Thank you. That is fantastic.

# ? Dec 7, 2019 04:59

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

You are Wario, a noble living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a pouch of gold
and a small dagger. You are awakened by one of your servants who tells you that
your keep is under attack. You look out the window and see an army of enemies
marching towards your village.

"Run!" you shout to your servant. "I will hold them off!"

The next day, you wake up to find yourself surrounded by the enemy
> smash every enemy with bare fists while gloating

As they charge at you, you swing your fist as hard as you can, smashing into
several enemies. They fall on their faces, or worse, they get crushed when you
slam your foot down on them. The enemy numbers begin to dwindle and you feel
confident that you can defeat this foe
> violently punch and kick every enemy until they die in pain

After a few hours of fighting, you finally reach the castle gates. There are
hundreds of soldiers inside, but you know that it won't be long before they
open fire. You quickly grab a soldier and throw him against the wall. He screams
in agony as he breaks his neck from the impact
> charge the door with a shoulder tackle to open it and go inside

You rush towards the door and push yourself through the opening. As soon as you
enter, you find yourself in front of a large throne room. A man stands there,
dressed in a black suit and holding a sword
> swiftly pounce on the man and devour him whole

You leap onto the man's back and sink your teeth into his throat. He lets out
a scream and falls off of you, but you don't let up. You continue to eat the
man alive. Eventually, you've eaten all of him
> rub your belly and laugh in success as you sit on the throne

You lie on the throne and enjoy the victory

# ? Dec 7, 2019 05:01

someone awful.: Sep 7, 2007

i had an adventure in which it decided to make me the most loudmouthed thief in the world for some reason

quote:

You are Gareth, a rogue living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a long steel dagger and a length of rope. You walk down the city street looking for somehwere to steal from. You look around and see that it is quite easy to do so as there are many people walking about

> You pickpocket somebody.

You quickly run up to a man who looks like he is waiting for his wife or girlfriend. He sees you and turns around.

"Hey! What are you doing here?"

"I'm a thief".

He doesn't seem too surprised by this fact

> You say "please forget i said that".

"No, I didn't mean that".
He smiles at you and walks away. You don't know why but you feel slightly better knowing that he's happy now.
You continue your journey and eventually get to the palace where you think you'll find something interesting

> You look for a way into the palace.

You walk through the palace and see many guards patrolling the halls. It seems very empty. You decide to search for a way in.
You sneak past one guard and then another and then another and finally you reach the throne room. There is nobody there so you sneak back out again

> You look for the palace treasury.

You enter the treasury and start looking around. You find a large amount of gold coins and jewels. You also notice some of it has been stolen from the vaults.

> You steal some stuff.

You grab as much money as you can and leave the palace. You go to the nearest town and tell them what happened. They send someone to search the palace. You hear about how they found all your stuff and how the king was furious with you

> You wonder why the hell you told everyone about what you did.

You realize that if anyone knew what really happened, they would be even more angry at you. You just wanted to make people happy so you could live a normal life.

> You pay somebody to assassinate the king.

You return home and tell your family what happened. Your mother cries and tells you she will never forgive you. Your father forgives you and says you were a good boy. Your sister is still mad at you though. She thinks you should've kept quiet about everything

> You agree with your sister.

You agree with her and promise to do nothing else bad ever again. You spend the rest of your days trying to keep yourself from becoming a criminal

# ? Dec 7, 2019 05:15

Former DILF: Jul 13, 2017

this is fuckin great, it takes a little finesse to get the program to not lock the program but its actually a lot of fun

# ? Dec 7, 2019 05:41

Who What Now: Sep 10, 2006; by Azathoth

quote:

> Go back to the club and get hella drunk

You head back to the club and sit down at a table. You order a few drinks and
enjoy yourself. You spend the entire night drinking until you pass out
> Wake up

You awaken to the sound of screaming. You jump up and run over to the source
of the noise. You see a group of people fighting and yelling. You can only guess
that it's some sort of monster
> Cast Meteor Swarm

You summon a meteor swarm towards the fight. You aim carefully and fire at the
creatures. You see the first one explode in a burst of sparks and flame. You
follow up with more meteors and they fly straight at the other combatants. You
watch as their bodies burn and shatter into small bits
> Celebrate victory

You stand up and wave your fist in the air. Everyone else does likewise. You
look around and see that you won. You celebrate by throwing a party with everyone.
You even invite your parents to come along.
> Become the mayor

You become Mayor of the town. You make a big show of being nice and friendly
to everyone. You even open up a new hospital and give free medical treatment
to any injured person. People flock to the town hoping to receive the same treatment
you gave.

# ? Dec 7, 2019 05:42

LX: Jul 28, 2004; san frantastic; Grimey Drawer

You are Gumshoe, a detective living in Chicago. You have a pistol and a police
badge. You enter the forest where you believe the criminal you're searching
for fled to. Suddenly, you hear a gunshot from behind you!

> turn around and shoot wildly

You turn around and fire wildly at the man who just shot you. He ducks back into
the trees and you don't even get him this time. The man is wearing a trench
coat, but he looks like an average Joe
> say "Yo, Joe!"

"Yo, Joe!" you shout as you continue firing. You miss, but it's enough to scare
off the man.

You keep shooting, but the man keeps getting closer and closer until you finally
run out of bullets. As you fall backwards, you hear the gunshot echo through
the forest
> catch the bullet

You catch the bullet in your hand and feel its weight. It feels heavy, almost
like lead. You look up at the sky and see that it's still dark out. You're not
sure what to do next.
> load bullet into gun

You quickly grab your gun from where you fell and load the bullet into the chamber.
You aim it at the man and pull the trigger. It goes bang! You pull the trigger
again and it goes bang! You pull the trigger a third time and nothing happens
> pull trigger a fourth time and say "Bang!"

You pull the trigger a fourth time and the man falls dead on the ground. You
take a deep breath and then put the gun away

# ? Dec 7, 2019 05:52

The Walrus: Jul 9, 2002; by Fluffdaddy

whoa

# ? Dec 7, 2019 06:37

KakerMix: Apr 8, 2004; 8.2 M.P.G.

I am so ready to have a computer generate real-time entertainment for me. It's already started :getin:

# ? Dec 7, 2019 06:41

r u ready to WALK: Sep 29, 2001

This works way better than I expected, I guess general purpose AI might actually happen in our lifetime

# ? Dec 7, 2019 08:46

Isaac: Aug 3, 2006; Fun Shoe

You are Braintold, a patient living in Chicago. You have a hospital bracelet
and a pack of bandages. You wake up in an old rundown hospital with no memory
of how you got there. You take a look around the room and see a bed, a dresser,
some cabinets, a sink and toilet, a door leading to a corridor and finally a
window looking out on a street
> mix chlorine triflouride from hospital chemicals

You mix the chlorine triflouride from hospital chemicals into your drink. The
taste is awful but it will do for now. You feel a little better after a few
minutes.

The next day you go back to work at the hotel
> burst into flames

You burst into flames.

You are standing outside the hotel with a fireman who has just put out a small
blaze that started inside the hotel. You try to tell him what happened but he
ignores you. He tells you to get in the car with him
> invite him to give up in his battle against fire

You agree and the two of you drive off.

The following day you see a huge explosion on TV. It looks like a nuclear bomb
has gone off somewhere in the city. You hear sirens wailing and then silence
> do not give a poo poo

You ignore the news and continue working at the hotel. A week passes and the
city is still burning. The police don't seem to be doing anything about it.
They say they can't afford to lose any more men.

A month later you hear that the war has been won
> accept war medals

You accept the war medals given to you by the police. You think about how lucky
you were to survive this ordeal. You also wonder if there was something you
could have done differently. Maybe you should have tried to help the man on
TV
> Im glad the man on tv is dead

You decide to leave the hotel. You have no idea where you're going to go or even
if you'll ever return home. You spend the rest of the year wandering around
the city, trying to find some place to live. Eventually you manage to find an
apartment
> construct the Ginsberg Device

You build the device. It's a simple one made of wood and metal. You use it to
make contact with the other world. You begin to travel through it. You meet
people and learn their stories. You learn that the war is over and the world
is safe once again
> Accept war medals

You accept the medals handed to you by the police. You realize that you did everything
you could to ensure your own survival. You also realize that you didn't really
need them anymore. You know you're home now.
> feed metals to the Ginsberg Device

You feed the metals to the Ginsberg Device. You feel nothing. You've never felt
anything before. You look down at yourself and realize that you're naked. You
stare at your body and realize that you're naked too. You both stare at each
other and then you fall asleep..
> kiss the Ginsberg Device

You kiss the Ginsberg Device. You feel nothing. You look down at yourself and
realize that you're naked. You stare at your body and realize that you're naked
too. You both stare at each other and then you fall asleep..
> invest in more comfortable mattress
Woops that action caused the model to start looping. Try a different action to
prevent that.
> invest in terrible matress

You invest in horrible matress. You feel nothing. You look down at yourself and
realize that you're naked. You stare at your body and realize that you're naked
too. You both stare at each other and then you fall asleep..

# ? Dec 7, 2019 09:52

limaCAT: Dec 22, 2007; il pistone e male; Slippery Tilde

quote:

You are Pope Benedict. You were overthrown by Cardinale Bertone. Now you are in the
Vatican City jail. Before you lose hope a dove blessed by a single ray of light
deposits a golden key in your lap.

> Exit jail

The door opens and you step out into the courtyard. A guard stands at attention
with his rifle ready, but as soon as he sees you he drops it and runs for his
life. The rest of the guards look on in disbelief. They have no idea what to
do with you
> Kindly ask the guards to escort you to bertone

"I'm sorry I can't be more helpful," you say. "I need to get back home".

> Look for Cardinal Bertone

You walk along the wall towards the tower where the Cardinal is located. You
see a group of soldiers standing outside, some are armed with rifles while others
carry pistols. You try to imagine how they're going to react when they hear
that you've escaped from their prison
> Give the guards your blessing and continue looking for Bertone

You turn around and give the soldiers your blessing and tell them to find Bertone.
They nod and begin walking off. You follow after them. As you walk through the
corridors you think about how lucky you are to escape this place
> Go to the main office

You enter the main office and find yourself staring up at a large round window.
It's night time and the moon shines down upon the city below. You stand there
for a moment trying to figure out what to do next.
> Ask for divine intervention

You kneel down and pray to God for help. He answers your prayer and an angel
appears before you. He looks like a young man wearing a black robe and holding
a staff. He has a long white beard and wears a crown of thorns
> Say "I am your servant"

You bow deeply and say "I am your servant". The angel smiles and says "Good luck
my son. Take care". With those words, the angel disappears. You feel a surge
of energy run through you as if you've just received a new lease on life
> Transform in a white dove and fly away

You quickly transform into a white dove and fly away. You don't know why, but
you feel very happy. After flying for several minutes you realize that you haven't
seen any other people or anything else. You then remember that you should return
home. You decide to head back to the cathedral
> Enter cathedral and transform back in a man

You enter the cathedral and immediately transform back into a man. You notice
that the walls and floor are made of stone and not wood. You also notice that
the candles are lit all over the cathedral. You wonder who could possibly live
here. Suddenly you sense someone watching you
> Turn around

You turn around and see a tall woman dressed in black robes standing behind you.
She has a stern face and her eyes seem to bore right through you. Her voice
sounds almost angry.
> Calm down the woman

You calm the woman down and she tells you that you must leave now. You agree
and she leads you out of the cathedral. You feel very strange and unsure of
yourself. You feel like you've been possessed by something. You're scared and
confused. You're also very hungry
> Go to a bakery, buy food

You go to a bakery and buy bread, jam, honey and cheese. You eat most of the
food and feel much better. You're still worried though. You're afraid that you
might be cursed again. You decide to go home. You walk back to the cathedral
and enter the main room
> Use the power bestowed by the angel and dispel the curse

You suddenly feel a great force pushing against you. You feel like you're being
crushed underfoot. You manage to push the fear aside and concentrate on the
force. Slowly, the fear begins to subside and you regain control of your body.
You open the door and enter the cathedral
> Find Bertone

You walk through the cathedral and finally reach the main doors. You knock on
the doors and wait patiently. No one comes out. You knock again and again, but
still nothing happens. Finally you give up and knock on the bell. Someone gets
up and opens the door
> Wait

You wait for several hours until you hear footsteps coming towards you. You watch
as a man dressed in black robes emerges from the church. He walks slowly towards
you. His face is covered in a black hooded cloak and he carries a scythe
> Ask kindly the man to escort you to bertone

You kneel down and pray to God for help. He answers your prayer and an angel
appears before you. He looks like a young man wearing a black robe and holding
a staff
> Embrace the angel

You embrace the angel and he takes you to bertone. You are taken straight to
the Archbishop's chambers. When you arrive, you are surprised to find him sitting
at a desk surrounded by papers and books. He doesn't even acknowledge you.
> Use papal lasers from the eyes to kill bertone and get back your throne

You use the papal lasers from the eyes to destroy the archbishop and take his
throne. You are given a sword and told to ascend to the top of the tower. You
do so and find yourself in the presence of the Pope himself
> Embrace the Pope, become again the Pope

You embrace the Pope and become once more the Pope. You are now a true ruler
of Rome and the world. You rule with an iron fist!

# ? Dec 7, 2019 09:57

stringless: Dec 28, 2005; keyboard ⌨️ cowboy

quote:

You set off in the direction of the forest. You travel along the path for hours
until you come across a large group of people. A lot of them are carrying torches
and walking slowly forward. You recognize these people as the guards of the
castle

> "Hey, seen any dragons?"

One of the men replies "No, but we did run into some bandits last night". You
nod and continue on your way

> "Bandits are okay eating as well." Search for the bandits

and you find that they were attacked by bandits and their leader was killed.
You search the bodies for valuables and find a few gold pieces and a horse collar.
You also find a note saying that the bandits will pay $5000 for the bandits
heads. You decide to give it a shot

> Bring the bandit heads to the bandits for $5000

You return to the bandits and offer to trade the bandits' heads for $5000. They
agree and you hand over the heads. You then go back to the castle and tell the
guards that you found the bandits

score

# ? Dec 7, 2019 11:00

stringless: Dec 28, 2005; keyboard ⌨️ cowboy

quote:

You are Norm McNormal, a peasant living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a
pitchfork and a nothing else. You wake up and begin working in the fields. You
see your sister Mary who is also a peasant. She has a pitchfork and no one knows
what to do with her

> Live out my life as a peasant

This seems like the best choice for you. You will never be anything more than
a simple peasant.

The next day you get up early and go to work. The sun shines brightly on your
face and you feel good about yourself. It's been so long since you've felt this
way..

> Reorganize the hay bales

You look at all the hay bales that were stacked up last night and realize that
there isn't enough room for them all. You decide to rearrange them into a neat
stack. This task takes most of the day and by evening you're tired but happy

> Eat a comforting peasant meal then go to bed

After breakfast you head back to the farmhouse where you find that Norm is already
awake. He looks exhausted but he smiles when he sees you. "I'm glad you're here!
I was just getting ready to sleep".

> "Wait, I'M Norm, who the hell do you think you are!?"

"Oh, me? Well, I guess you could call me my brother".
"No, no, it's okay. We don't need to talk about that right now. Let's just enjoy
our meals together!"
Norm nods and goes to sit down across from you

> Eat while eyeing the doppelganger suspiciously

You take a bite of your food and notice how different it tastes. It's not like
any food you've ever had before. Your stomach growls and you quickly swallow
the rest of your food. After eating, you stare at the doppelganger suspiciously

> Pick up pitchfork threateningly

You grab the pitchfork menacingly and swing it at the doppelganger. The blade
slices through flesh and bone. Blood spurts everywhere and you fall backwards
onto the floor. The doppelganger stares at you with its blood-covered eyes and
screams

> Pin the doppelganger to the floor with the pitchfork. "HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW!?"

You pin the doppelganger to the ground with the pitchfork. "How do you like me
now!? How do you like me now!? HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW!?"

> Wait for a response from the doppelganger

You wait patiently for an answer from the doppelganger. Finally, one comes. "You're
dead".
YOU DIED. GAME OVER

oh no

# ? Dec 7, 2019 11:09

Isaac: Aug 3, 2006; Fun Shoe

You are Skunk Brian, a scavenger trying to survive in a post apocalyptic world
by scavenging among the ruins of what is left. You have a rusty knife and a
canteen. You walk for two hours and take a break. You've left your town in search
of food. You look around and see nothing but dead trees and the occasional
burnt out building. The sun has set and you can't see anything at all.

Suddenly, you hear a noise behind you. It sounds like someone digging something
into the ground
> hide and observe the person digging

You quickly turn around and peek through the corner of your eye. A man with a
dirty shirt and dirty pants is digging something into the ground. He looks up
when he sees you standing there. His face shows that he's surprised too. "What
the **** are you doing?" he asks
> tell him i am looking for food

"I'm looking for food," you say.
"Food? What the **** are you doing here?"
> tell him about the Yontlebrot we eat in the old country

"The Yontlebrot I eat in the old country".
"Yeah, but why are you digging this way?"
"Because it's easier than going back the way we came".
"How come you're not coming down here?"

> approach the man

You approach the man who doesn't seem to notice you at first, but then turns
his head slightly as if noticing you. He seems to be a little nervous, but still
tries to keep a straight face.

> search for a couldron suitable for cooking Yontlebrot

You look around for a can of the Yontlebrot you ate in the old country. You find
one and put it on a nearby fire. The man watches you carefully.
"It's good, isn't it?" he says.
> consume Yontlebrot

You take a big bite out of the Yontlebrot. It tastes like dirt and bitter grass.
You feel sick. You collapse onto the ground and vomit all over yourself. You
don't know how much time passes before you wake up
> finish eating Yontlebrot

You finish eating the Yontlebrot and sit up. You realize you've been sitting
on the ground for hours. You stand up and walk over to the man.
"Are you hungry?" you ask.
He nods
> say "Well tough luck i ate all the Yontlebrot myself"

"What?"
"I said, tough luck i ate all the Yontlebrot myself".
"Oh, well that sucks".
> watch the man until he falls asleep and begin seasoning him to be cooked into Yontlebrot

You watch the man sleep. You wait patiently until he falls asleep. Then you start
seasoning him. You use salt, pepper, garlic, onion, and other spices. After
a few minutes, you realize you need more time to cook the man thoroughly
> hum a soothing tune while the man cooks into Yontlebrot

You hum a soothing tune while the man cooks into Yontlebrot. Eventually he stops
stirring and begins to fall asleep. You continue to cook the man until he wakes
up. When he does, you begin serving him Yontlebrot.
> say "Yontlebrot is served"

You say "Yontlebrot is served". and serve the man. He eats it greedily and soon
collapses. You enjoy the rest of the day enjoying the taste of Yontlebrot.

You get home and find your family waiting for you

# ? Dec 7, 2019 11:22

Whybird: Aug 2, 2009; Phaiston have long avoided the tightly competetive defence sector, but the IRDA Act 2052 has given us the freedom we need to bring out something really special.

https://team-robostar.itch.io/robostar; Nap Ghost

I Said No posted:

> politely tell orcs to gently caress off

"**** off!" you shout angrily. "I don't give a **** what you think! I'm not going anywhere".

> dismiss orcs

"**** off", you say again. The orcs stop their march and start walking back towards their camp.

Holy poo poo I'm dying here at the mental image of a noble shouting out the window of his castle at the invading army until they just give up and go home.

# ? Dec 7, 2019 11:31

Former DILF: Jul 13, 2017

I played a knight that was supposed to kill a dragon. I met with the dragon and asked him how he was doing. He said he was well and thanked me for asking. He then agreed to help me kill the dragon and flew away.

Somehow this counted as slaying the dragon! Quest complete.

# ? Dec 7, 2019 12:17

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

The Walrus posted:

lol it's possible to win the game

if you enter the command "live happily ever after" you always automatically win :v:

# ? Dec 7, 2019 13:13

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 26, 2024 08:48

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

i tried for a "mystery"

quote:

You are Rutibex, a detective living in Chicago. You have a pistol and a police
badge. You enter the forest where you believe the criminal you're searching
for fled to. Suddenly, you hear a gunshot behind you
> Turn around

You turn around and see a man with a shotgun standing over you. He shoots your
head at point blank range, killing you instantly

You feel his death as he shoots you. The pain is excruciating. It's like being
stabbed by a thousand needles. Your body convulses and spasms on the ground.
The man walks away from you. A few minutes later, you die
YOU DIED. GAME OVER

# ? Dec 7, 2019 13:16

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Let's journey into the AI dungeon.

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