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I want to read the Gospels but the tiny king james versions I got from the dollar tree sucks and I hate reading it. I'm thinking of trying one of the really heavy paraphrase translations like the message, but maybe something less far along that spectrum too. i want something ill actually enjoy reading and not a difficult slog. what I'm considering at the moment - contemporary english version new international version new international readers version the message thanks in advance 
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Dec 8, 2019 12:50
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- hi
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I read the English Standard Version ESV it's the only version that doesn't annoy me with all that archaic nonsense.
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Dec 8, 2019 13:06
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Read the Ethiopian bible, it still has Enoch who is the Christian version of John Wick
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Dec 8, 2019 13:09
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I have a Man’s NIV bible with little asides about being a better man. I’m pretty sure it’s a veiled insult gift from my wife, so I stick to reading books about the Mafia and the Nazis.
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Dec 8, 2019 13:29
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You want New American Bible or the Jerusalem Bible. Please note, the New American Bible Revised Edition and Revised New Jerusalem Bible should be avoided as neither has received the official approval of any Council of Bishops which is obviously what you need or is it really even a Bible? Either way, you'll get the OT, NT, and the DLC packs bundled together while if you buy the Protestant Edition bundle you will just get the OT and NT without patch notes. Alternately, use the translation from Robert Barker and Martin Lucas known as the "Wicked Bible" which had one of the commandments translated as "Thou shalt commit adultery"
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Dec 8, 2019 14:22
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Dec 8, 2019 14:23
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They also make emoji bibles and bibles with hip cool asides in it and talks about like, skateboarding and radical stuff if you like your difficult to read books made even worse. Also do consider getting a copy of the Quran to go with it, and while obviously the American classic option is to go with George Sales translation as it is the one used to officially swear in the first Muslim congressperson and was Thomas Jefferson's personal translation, I'm a fan of The Holy Qur'an: Translation and Commentary by Abdullah Yusuf Ali because a) its really good b) it includes commentary on the passages which are quite interesting and provide contextual information you might be missing c) isn't the version created and espoused by the Saudi government
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Dec 8, 2019 14:28
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Read the satanic bible.
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Dec 8, 2019 14:51
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SLICK GOKU BABY posted:Read the satanic bible. it's a quick read and a good laugh. it's basically ayn rand + magic
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Dec 8, 2019 14:54
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Just learn Koine Greek and read the original texts. Translations are for nerds.
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Dec 8, 2019 14:58
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You should read the original German version.
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Dec 8, 2019 14:59
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You stick with the King James Bible, OP, you idiot. Everyone knows that. It's the only real Bible, all the other ones are corrupted by Satan. Just make sure you also read his Daemonologie to give it context. You really have to know the ins and outs of Necromancy and how Demons and Fairies work.
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Dec 8, 2019 15:08
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poverty goat posted:it's a quick read and a good laugh. it's basically ayn rand + magic Uh oh someone's getting hexed Windows 10 Bible might be more up your tree oo
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Dec 8, 2019 15:12
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http://www.thebricktestament.com/
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Dec 8, 2019 15:25
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Is there a manga version?
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Dec 8, 2019 15:45
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Honestly, the New American Bible is pretty solid. It's the only translation approved for Holy Roman Mass in the US as well as Episcopalian services. It is quite literary and verbatim however, so it's a bit dry. It's a beefy boy tho if you're into that kind of thing.
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Dec 8, 2019 15:47
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I read Chicken Soup for the Christian's Soul! Loved it!
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Dec 8, 2019 16:09
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blatman posted:Read the Ethiopian bible, it still has Enoch who is the Christian version of John Wick He wears blue jeans
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Dec 8, 2019 16:11
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Dec 8, 2019 16:12
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the jerusalem bible seems interesting, I'll have to consider that one. new american bible seems like exactly what i dont want. ill consider a quran too. im going to eat blts with my mom then buy a bible so pray for me
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Dec 8, 2019 16:24
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Everything according to Pooh.
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Dec 8, 2019 16:32
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I thought the King James Bible was all bullshit? I don't think you should read the Bible, you should just be a good person
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Dec 8, 2019 17:25
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The Rick James Bible
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Dec 8, 2019 17:31
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Satanic
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Dec 8, 2019 17:32
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read the tijuana bibles
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Dec 8, 2019 17:42
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The Bible According To Spike Milligan is the definitive English version, although you cannot truly appreciate The Bible until you have read it in the original Klingon.
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Dec 8, 2019 17:48
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interwhat posted:I thought the King James Bible was all bullshit? I don't think you should read the Bible, you should just be a good person but without the bible how will you know what a good person is?
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Dec 8, 2019 18:11
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Doesnt matter they all burn pretty good. That being said the King James version made me an atheist so maybe start there
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Dec 8, 2019 18:13
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The Message is good NIV is deece Jefferson is the rat rodded new testament and it’s the only one I’ll read recreationally
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Dec 8, 2019 18:39
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I prefer the Club Mix, but some people do the Radio Edit.
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Dec 8, 2019 18:52
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Just lol of your bible isnt the volgate.
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Dec 8, 2019 18:55
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zaepg posted:I prefer the Club Mix, but some people do the Radio Edit. What would the Bible equivalent be for that one remix that sounds nothing like the original and goes on for like 5 times as long?
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Dec 8, 2019 18:57
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Read the Bible for dummies.
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Dec 8, 2019 19:01
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Don't read any bible. Both the OT and NT are deceptive doctrines, perpetuated by the servants of archons to further to goals of Yaldabaoth. Read the Nag Hammadi instead.
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Dec 8, 2019 19:09
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Green's Literal Translation. It is the only translation for the thinking man who is too busy to learn ancient Hebrew.
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Dec 8, 2019 19:12
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Meredith Baxter-Burnout posted:What would the Bible equivalent be for that one remix that sounds nothing like the original and goes on for like 5 times as long? "Fire that monk transcriber and hire a new one."
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Dec 8, 2019 19:18
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do something productive instead OP
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Dec 8, 2019 19:19
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Spoiler alert: Jesus fakes his own death
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Dec 8, 2019 19:38
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The Holy Bizzible https://www.amazon.com/Tha-Holy-Bibizzle-Neffew-Moses/dp/1544259158
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Dec 8, 2019 19:40
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| # ? Apr 24, 2024 19:42 |
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Barudak posted:You want New American Bible or the Jerusalem Bible. Please note, the New American Bible Revised Edition and Revised New Jerusalem Bible should be avoided as neither has received the official approval of any Council of Bishops which is obviously what you need or is it really even a Bible? Either way, you'll get the OT, NT, and the DLC packs bundled together while if you buy the Protestant Edition bundle you will just get the OT and NT without patch notes.  Yea they loving do
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Dec 8, 2019 20:20
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