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Shamino
Mar 14, 2008

I am weary of loitering about Britain. There is much we could be accomplishing! Where hast thou been, anyway?
I've been unemployed since January and am trying to figure out my next career move. I have a lead on a spot in a lovely part of town for $900/mo and figure it'll cost me about $20,000 all in to get the place open, which is about 90% of the savings I have left. It's near a busy intersection and an office park so there is plenty of vehicle traffic. If I can do even 200 drinks/day (just 25/hr assuming I'm open from 5-2) it'd take care of all my bills and then some.

Also there is no need for a vent hood. What say you goons.?

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Ramrod Hotshot
May 30, 2003

Just do it and be a legend, goonsir

Mr. Meagles
Apr 30, 2004

Out here, everything hurts


hotdog stand

do it and do it right

Sjs00
Jun 29, 2013

Yeah Baby Yeah !
25 hr is 1 every 2 minutes you'd have to really hustle

Resting Lich Face
Feb 21, 2019


This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.
Depends... is it lovely lovely or the kind of lovely where it's actively being colonized by hipsters? Hipsters loving love coffee.

Mr. Meagles
Apr 30, 2004

Out here, everything hurts


also i know a dude who owns like the entire town's racket of those lovely toy capsule machines. like the ones with the sticky hands or temporary tattoos you see at the grocery store.

he only has to work every other Saturday, driving around collecting money, and refilling them with crap if they're low.

he makes more than I do. you could look into that.

Shamino
Mar 14, 2008

I am weary of loitering about Britain. There is much we could be accomplishing! Where hast thou been, anyway?

Sjs00 posted:

25 hr is 1 every 2 minutes you'd have to really hustle

My guess is during peak time half of all sales would be drip which only takes 30 seconds to pour and maybe 30 seconds to run the card/make change.

The area has gotten a decent amount of new development in the last year or so, next nearest coffee shop is a Starbucks 5 miles away and nearest hipster joint is 10+ miles out.

Shamino
Mar 14, 2008

I am weary of loitering about Britain. There is much we could be accomplishing! Where hast thou been, anyway?

Tom Gorman posted:

also i know a dude who owns like the entire town's racket of those lovely toy capsule machines. like the ones with the sticky hands or temporary tattoos you see at the grocery store.

he only has to work every other Saturday, driving around collecting money, and refilling them with crap if they're low.

he makes more than I do. you could look into that.

I think I saw a vice documentary on your friend.

Les Os
Mar 29, 2010
how do you take your coffee? what kind of coffees are you gonna sell

blatman
May 10, 2009

14 inc dont mez


Do you have suppliers lined up and have you ever worked in a coffee shop before?

I feel like if you want to dump money into the hellpit that is the food industry you should just start a food truck and zoop around all the construction sites, less overhead and you can adjust your route when you find pockets of hungry students or whatever

bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

Make it one of those beefcake coffee shops where young studs wearing banana hammocks make your coffee and if you tip them a fiver they’ll rub their nuts on the cup lid

Resting Lich Face
Feb 21, 2019


This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.


If you nail good coffee + low price it could be a really solid idea. Maybe give locals a limited discount (like cheaper drip during the morning hours) to build some goodwill with your neighbors.

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

only hire greasy twinks

bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

blatman posted:

Do you have suppliers lined up and have you ever worked in a coffee shop before?

I feel like if you want to dump money into the hellpit that is the food industry you should just start a food truck and zoop around all the construction sites, less overhead and you can adjust your route when you find pockets of hungry students or whatever

A functional food truck is $75,000, OP only has enough money to put a Keurig in one of those $800 garden sheds that are always sitting in front of Home Depot.

Shamino
Mar 14, 2008

I am weary of loitering about Britain. There is much we could be accomplishing! Where hast thou been, anyway?
I like black coffee, flat whites sometimes and an iced oat milk and honey latte during the summer.

blatman posted:

Do you have suppliers lined up and have you ever worked in a coffee shop before?

I feel like if you want to dump money into the hellpit that is the food industry you should just start a food truck and zoop around all the construction sites, less overhead and you can adjust your route when you find pockets of hungry students or whatever
I found a bean supplier who will give me the equipment and training if I agree to be exclusive with them for 2 years. I have a lead on a pastry supplier through a friend of a friend sort of deal.

I worked at a pizza place for 6 months in High school.

blatman
May 10, 2009

14 inc dont mez


Fair enough I just assumed that someone planning on starting a non-mobile brick and mortar business in the most cutthroat industry possible could at least convert the mystery machine into a grub wagon

what the hell is flat white iced oat milk

Edgar
Sep 9, 2005

Oh my heck!
Oh heavens!
Oh my lord!
OH Sweet meats!
Wedge Regret
Dpending on the city, but if you open near me I'll stop by and do daily rants tell stories on my ol' pal Clint and his strange sexual ways.

Shamino
Mar 14, 2008

I am weary of loitering about Britain. There is much we could be accomplishing! Where hast thou been, anyway?

blatman posted:

Fair enough I just assumed that someone planning on starting a non-mobile brick and mortar business in the most cutthroat industry possible could at least convert the mystery machine into a grub wagon

what the hell is flat white iced oat milk

Flat white: Velvet foam/milk on espresso, small volume drjnk.
Iced oat milk and honey latte; espresso over iced oat milk with honey syrup.

Zeluth
May 12, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
It is the age of Dunkin Donuts and Starbucks apps to get points for buying their products to one day get a free hot coffee or some poo poo.

Hell, I was considering a Qdoba burrito the other day because they are giving me a free soft drink for this month.

Biohazard
Apr 17, 2002

Kinda depends on the city. What’s the weather like? What do you mean by lovely? What the demographic in the area? Would it support being a hipster shop or are you gonna angle for the cheap side?

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


Make really good hash browns to go with the coffee. REALLY good hash browns

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


poo poo OP, you need to let us know how lovely we are talking about here. Some lovely parts of some towns aren't so bad. Others you'll probably have some shitheads breaking in every night to get some of them beans.

SLICK GOKU BABY
Jun 12, 2001

Hey Hey Let's Go! 喧嘩する
大切な物を protect my balls


Also, I'm pretty sure you're supposed to try to get some business partners and investors instead of throwing all of your unemployment money in a paper shredder.

DeadFatDuckFat
Oct 29, 2012

This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.


Actually nm about the hash browns. Make loving bone marrow (its real easy to cook) and put that poo poo on toast and serve with coffee.



Call your shop BONER COFFEE

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer
You need a gimmick. Print porno pictures from the internet and give them to random customers with their coffee. I'd definitely frequent any business where there was a, say, 20% chance of walking out with a naughty picture

ohnobugs
Feb 22, 2003


Make it a zoo cafe so people can pet a baby giraffe while they eat a burrito.

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

Good luck on your gentrification attempt, OP.

Mr. Dick
Aug 9, 2019

by Cyrano4747

Shamino posted:

I like black coffee, flat whites sometimes and an iced oat milk and honey latte during the summer.

I found a bean supplier who will give me the equipment and training if I agree to be exclusive with them for 2 years.

Yeah, but what are they going to do to you when you go out of business before having satisfied your 2 year deal with them? Mr. Dick bets they stick a tube in your forehead and use the heat and force of your escaping soul to steam milk.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
Hang a gay pride flag out in front of your coffee shop and watch property values in your neighborhood skyrocket.

Nice Guy Patron
Jun 29, 2015
Don't open a cafe. It is a huge money sink. Unless you want to be there 24/7 don't do it.

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

Shamino posted:

about $20,000 all in to get the place open, which is about 90% of the savings I have left
risky. but on the other hand i feel like how are you gonna not make money if people go there for the expressed purpose of buying an extremely high margin product. hire some cute girls and blammo
if you search coffee in google maps is there a void around that area? diner, deli, convenience store

maybe you should make it credit(/debit) only so you dont have to ever worry about being robbed (since the area is lovely enough that you put it in the thread title). would it count as trendy if you only accepted fastpass or whatever the current thing is now?

mainly and i cannot stress this enough: do you have any idea at all what a good cup of coffee tastes like because most people have no clue even to the extent of taking pride in their lovely coffee or even thinking they could open their own coffee shop. *looks at op suspiciously*

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

Shamino posted:

Iced oat milk and honey latte; espresso over iced oat milk with honey syrup.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8C4TGGtPzBU

Coasterphreak
May 29, 2007
I like cookies.
No.

Crypto Cobain
Jun 17, 2018

by Reene
Most businesses have to operate at a loss for their first few months or even years. If opening the business is going to eat 90% of your savings off the bat, it might be a bad idea. Sorry OP.

corgski
Feb 6, 2007

Silly goose, you're here forever.

Fleetwood Crack posted:

Most businesses have to operate at a loss for their first few months or even years. If opening the business is going to eat 90% of your savings off the bat, it might be a bad idea. Sorry OP.

don’t listen to this person, live your “sad attempt at escaping the ever-shrinking middle class through capital investment in a wild plan” dream

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

invest in weed stocks

Squalid
Nov 4, 2008

Shamino posted:

I've been unemployed since January and am trying to figure out my next career move. I have a lead on a spot in a lovely part of town for $900/mo and figure it'll cost me about $20,000 all in to get the place open, which is about 90% of the savings I have left. It's near a busy intersection and an office park so there is plenty of vehicle traffic. If I can do even 200 drinks/day (just 25/hr assuming I'm open from 5-2) it'd take care of all my bills and then some.

Also there is no need for a vent hood. What say you goons.?

since you're unemployed anyway, you might want to try and estimate how much traffic goes by the location on a typical day. So like sit out front with a clipboard and count how many cars pass every hour, what the foot traffic is like, etc. This might help give you some idea how realistic your goal of 25 customers an hour is

Sophy Wackles
Dec 17, 2000

> access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.





Generally you don't want to be the first hipster in the neighborhood. You need to wait until there is a critical hipster mass then open a coffee shop and charge $20 for a cup of drip coffee you secretly buy in bulk from Costco.

Resting Lich Face
Feb 21, 2019


This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.
All ya gotta do is learn how to make goodass donuts. And I mean loving good. Like really loving good.

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numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014

How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

listen if you have $20,000 i can turn that into $5000 easy and save you the time of opening a small business and im going to have a hell of a party

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