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They have been saving a lot of money now that they don’t have to spend it on fighting against gay marriage around the country.
The Management fucked around with this message at 14:11 on Dec 17, 2019 |
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Dec 17, 2019 14:08
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1st_Panzer_Div. posted:Wrong af, you have to give whatever financial amount your heart tells you. Any decent priest be following that up about the old dumb lady that gave all her money, 1 coin, and got the most blessings* Sure, but it's not a required 10% of your paycheck like the Mormons.
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Dec 17, 2019 14:14
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Gazpacho posted:i'd rather have the LDS worshipping mammon than sending more missionaries around I think they’re doing both
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Dec 17, 2019 14:24
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Milo and POTUS posted:You have to pay to be a missionary? lmfao Religion really is the best one, the people are dumb as gently caress and will believe whatever you tell them because thinking critically clearly isn't a strong suit.
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Dec 17, 2019 14:43
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I like the reasoning that they’re saving the money for when Jesus has his second coming Like one day Jesus walks into Mormon HQ and says “alright guys I’m back! You got that hundred billion?”
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Dec 17, 2019 14:54
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werent the higher ups in that "church" marrying many underage girls so they could have sex with them too? yeah no big deal. as long as you say its a religious belief its all good
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Dec 17, 2019 14:57
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my dog died im sad posted:Sure, but it's not a required 10% of your paycheck like the Mormons. Think if we taxed their asses at 90% but called it a tithe they’d be cool with it? Because we absolutely need to tax their asses
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Dec 17, 2019 15:32
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Mozi posted:I like the reasoning that they’re saving the money for when Jesus has his second coming hmm maybe read the bible on what jesus thinks about money in temples oh wait this is the group whose book says the first natives were white lol who the gently caress knows what they say about jesus
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Dec 17, 2019 15:54
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Mormons are loving bonkers. I've lived in Utah and can 100% confirm this. For example, you're not allowed to enter their holiest buildings, called Temples (different from their regular Sunday church buildings), unless you have a signed Temple Recommend document, which requires an interview with a Bishop (their name for what most people know as Priest or Pastor) where they ask you all kinds of outrageously personal poo poo like how much you make, if you're giving that absolutely required 10% share to the church, what your sexual habits are, etc. If you fall short in that interview, you don't get your Temple Recommend, which means that according to your own religion, you can't attend the holiest rituals, including baptism or getting married, nor can you attend the baptism and marriage of any of your closest friends or family who are also members. Members are also taught to rat our their brethren for any perceived slights as well. They will literally make you wait outside the building like an animal while your own family member gets married inside or whatever. Oh wait, it's -15 degrees outside in Utah like it is for a good 6-7 months of the year? Hope you brought a coat, sinner. Maybe your next Temple Recommend interview will be acceptable. These buildings are also usually big enough to have entry halls and other places where you could easily be away from the ceremonies, by the way. But nah. Wait outside. Maybe if the church is lucky, people will see you not inside too, which should teach you to do better next time. This puts unbelievable pressure on basically all mormons to button up and behave 24/7, which includes not doing anything the church would consider sexually deviant (like enjoying it too much), and paying up on time, every time. Or you don't get to go to heaven. I've seen first hand the ridiculously high anxiety this causes basically everyone involved and it's pretty sick. Utah has more anti-depressant prescriptions per capita than any other state in the country, for example. And the most porn usage. Not that that's bad according to me or anything, but for a culture that pushes "sexual purity" as a pillar of their belief system, it's pretty loving telling. tl;dr: gently caress mormons. GreatGreen fucked around with this message at 16:34 on Dec 17, 2019 |
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Dec 17, 2019 16:13
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When I got married in the temple and had to get my recommend, I just did what others do, lie. I'm not giving them my money or admitting my sinful ways.
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Dec 17, 2019 16:24
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GreatGreen posted:Mormons are loving bonkers. I've lived in Utah and can 100% confirm this. This really isn't all that different from most modern Christian churches, except for the physically barring you from the building. Which I've always wondered, what would happen if you just went in anyway? What're they gonna do, send some pencil-neck missionary nerds to expel you?
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Dec 17, 2019 16:43
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Who What Now posted:This really isn't all that different from most modern Christian churches, except for the physically barring you from the building. They will kick you out, forcibly, and call the police if you persist. Mormons are grade-A loony cultists. So are Christians. All religious people are crazy in some way.
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Dec 17, 2019 16:49
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my dog died im sad posted:Sure, but it's not a required 10% of your paycheck like the Mormons. Be fair; tithing is a practice utilized by many other denominations. Much like any business, it can depend on the franchise manager.
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Dec 17, 2019 16:51
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lol your entire state is being surrounded by weed and it's coming to turn your daughters into weed sluts. eat me mormons
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Dec 17, 2019 17:04
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GreatGreen posted:Mormons are loving bonkers. I've lived in Utah and can 100% confirm this. You can still see baptisms if you want. You just can't see them do the baptism for the dead. It's pretty much the same but they say somebody else's name in place of yours. But they also do it in a big tub on top of gold oxen. After you do that you sit in a small room and watch Johnny Lingo on a really worn VHS tape over and over until everybody is done. The best quotable line is, "Mahana you ugly!" I went to the mormon Oakland temple and did this when I was 14. There was some sort of mix up with me and I was led through an area I wasn't really supposed to see yet. And it was a bunch of old people and some were hooked up to oxygen. It was like heavens waiting room. When I got married I couldn't do it in the temple because my wife wasn't mormon yet too. Also I barely paid my tithing when I was mormon. I hated tithing settlement meetings. They would meet with you every year to go over your tithes just to guilt you that much more. Actually I hated all mormon meetings.
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Dec 17, 2019 17:05
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GreatGreen posted:tl;dr: gently caress mormons. Based upon what you’re saying it sounds like the Mormons don’t gently caress, OP!
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Dec 17, 2019 17:06
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GreenaBoy posted:
Don't gloss over this. It's not normal to put children into a room to shake them down over birthday and chore money.
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Dec 17, 2019 17:10
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Goddamn religion is so sickening, I'm glad the stranglehold is starting to ease.
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Dec 17, 2019 17:12
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Blast of Confetti posted:hmm maybe read the bible on what jesus thinks about money in temples John 2:13-17 posted:
I'm sorry but they seem to be on pretty solid theological ground here
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Dec 17, 2019 17:33
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I went with my grandparents to the secondary Big Tabernacle in SLC once, not the primary "you need the Official Church Recommendation and Interrogation" architecturally interesting one. It had like a little museum with fake wax Mormon Jesus statue creeping up to give That Good Word to Joseph Smith statue, with a button you could press that sets off the mood lighting and a less-than-smooth voice over giving you all the LORE, it may have been dialogue too idr. Then at the end was like a line of a bunch of Mormon missionaries from abroad doing their service in the US talk about saved they are and asking your personal belief, one by one. There were lots of asian countries. It was weird, thanks for reading  ($100,000,000,000)
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Dec 17, 2019 17:46
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so there are obviously a lot of downsides to being a mormon but nobody is talking about all the great benefits! - standardized underwear -
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Dec 17, 2019 17:52
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This is a joke as old as this dumbfuck religion but someone needs to explain how 10 kids without coffee and booze isn't hell
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Dec 17, 2019 17:54
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GreatGreen posted:Mormons are loving bonkers. I've lived in Utah and can 100% confirm this. Utah goon here, and yes this is all right and probably even worse. I'm the only person in my work at a "Management" equivalent level that isn't a 14th level Bishop, and I have for sure hit the glass ceiling hard because of it.
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Dec 17, 2019 18:00
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HONG KONG SLUMLORD posted:Based upon what you’re saying it sounds like the Mormons don’t gently caress, OP! If Tinder when I was single was any indicator, they do gently caress and have a lot of oopsie whoopsie babies before they turn 21/22.
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Dec 17, 2019 18:02
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That’s a poo poo ton of money to blow on hookers and booze.
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Dec 17, 2019 18:11
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Burt Sexual posted:That’s a poo poo ton of money to blow on hookers and booze. Sadly very few liquor retailers and hookers have the temple recommend, so can't go in the secret weird sex rooms.
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Dec 17, 2019 18:24
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The mormon girls from my hometown are all hot. I don't know how this happened
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Dec 17, 2019 18:25
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GreatGreen posted:Mormons are loving bonkers. I've lived in Utah and can 100% confirm this. Good write up, op. I live in a state adjacent to Utah with a decent Mormon population and have several close family members who are LDS, two of whom converted as adults  , so have experienced a bit of this but not to that level of detail.I sent them this article yesterday and when. I mention things like this, they whataboutism"how is that so different from other churches and religions?!" which is not the point. It was a long and unpleasant conversation, particularly when they said tithing was not mandatory and I reiterated that while that may not be the FORMAL stance, they can certainly do all kinds of poo poo informally to make you a 2nd class citizen or guilt trip to cough up your 10%. The phrase "Mormon Guilt" was also mentioned, which I had never heard before (Catholic/Jewish Guilt, sure) which is apparently a different concept as I understand it. What a strange world. DeadFatDuckFat posted:The mormon girls from my hometown are all hot. I don't know how this happened Also yes, the women can be incredibly hot. Which makes the drat situation even more infuriating.
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Dec 17, 2019 18:53
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I Believe from the Book of Mormon Musical on the 65th Tony Awards.
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Dec 17, 2019 18:57
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Give me a billion and I'll stop badmouthing your retarded cult how bout that?
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Dec 17, 2019 19:01
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DeadFatDuckFat posted:The mormon girls from my hometown are all hot. I don't know how this happened Plastic Surgery. Once you pop out your 7 kids by 23 you have someone put everything back together for you. I think Utah/LDS folks only trail Brazil in fake boobs per capita.
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Dec 17, 2019 19:04
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they’re holding onto it to help their members out. it’s easier to get into heaven as a poor.
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Dec 17, 2019 19:04
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Mormons have all kinds of allegorical devices for combating non-belief, too. Mormons have this idea they all refer to as "the shelf" which is where you "place all your doubts and unanswerable questions for now so that you can graciously answer them yourself later, when you have more faith" because of course these questions are bad and are your own fault because of your lack of faith. I mean how could you show such disrespect and lack of appreciation for all this that Heavenly Father has given you, you spoiled brat. When your faith is stronger, you'll be able to pick these bad thoughts back up off the shelf and reconcile them. Ask an ex-mormon about what specifically it was that "broke their shelf" and they will know exactly what you're talking about and have an answer ready for discussion right then and there. sticksy posted:Also yes, the women can be incredibly hot. Which makes the drat situation even more infuriating. I can confirm this too. Utah women, hoo boy. Don't be fooled though. The hotness will never be worth what you'd have to deal with along with it. Mormon women have been raised form birth to be totally submissive and subservient to their husbands, which will launch an already attractive women into the attractiveness stratosphere for the guys into that, so you tend to see a lot of women born into mormonism married to male adult converts to get in on that hot action. "Flirt to Convert" they say. No really. They actually say that. HOWEVER, those guys are suckers and don't realize that even if you were to date or even marry one, it probably won't be worth it. That submissiveness and subservience is reserved for mormon holy men second, but God always first. That sexual purity (guilt) they've been taught their entire lives doesn't just magically poof out of existence the moment they get hitched. Picture the hottest girl you can imagine. Now picture her being sheepish, drawn-in, uninterested, and even actively worried in the bedroom or in almost any sexual situation. All the time. She refuses to engage in any sexual attitude other than "quiet complacency" and actively feels guilty afterwards to the point where there's basically always a non-zero chance you'll have to talk them down from crying because what if they did something God might not approve of or had any thought of anything more sexual or animalistic than "I love my husband and this makes me feel 'emotionally closer' to him." Literally anything more sexual slips into their heads and your night is over. Get ready to provide some strong emotional support to a crying partner for the rest of the night after a few minutes of some relatively agreeable missionary-position-only action. Mormon husbands are just as bad but in a different way. They will berate their wives for being impure whores for having any interest in sexuality at all. "Are you straying from the holy spirit, honey? We need to talk, I'm getting worried that you might be headed down the path of unrighteousness" is something a mormon wife might actually hear in casual conversation with their supposedly human husbands. Yes, they actually talk like that a lot of the time in real human conversation, parroting those tell-tale religious words and phrases in that recognizable way only the most devoutly religious do. And, because mormon boys and girls are basically segregated from birth for the parents' fear of them sluttin' it up for each other all the time, men and women often have no idea how to communicate these already unhealthy messages with each other, which just compounds the problem. Each sex thinks the other's mind is an impenetrable, alien landscape of which they can never fathom, so why even try? Watching them talk to each other is like reading awkwardly written Jane Austen fan fiction. It's nuts. Basically there would be zero naturally occurring mormons without the dating programs the church puts all of them into (called "Singles Wards") and all the religious pressure to get married and have as many kids as possible as the absolute #1 life priority. GreatGreen fucked around with this message at 19:54 on Dec 17, 2019 |
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Dec 17, 2019 19:08
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thats a lot of tacos live mas
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Dec 17, 2019 19:11
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GreatGreen posted:Mormons have all kinds of allegorical devices for combating non-belief, too. hollerin and wailin like a real big bitch for attention in the grocery store hoping one of the store associates will come ask what's wrong and when they finally do ill tell them i can't reach the hamburger helper on the top shelf
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Dec 17, 2019 19:19
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what broke your shelf? the creepy, misogynistic polygamist compound culture? the joseph smith origin story that’s ridiculous even by the low standard set by other mainstream religions? the long history of racism? sex abuse? the special underwear? what? no... i just wanted to be able to drink coffee
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Dec 17, 2019 19:19
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gonna laff when Utah becomes a boiling deathland from climate change, and the Mormons are forced into other states, where hopefully they'll be treated like a plague and forced to spend huge amounts of dollar to be allowed to tumorize communities with their doctrine of hatred
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Dec 17, 2019 19:22
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i pass by the birthplace of joseph smith sometimes i'm glad he decided to found his loony cult way off on the other side of the country
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Dec 17, 2019 19:22
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I tah, you tah, we all tah together. There's an ok documentary about a guy living in the desert in a bunch of trailers with 13 wives and 37 children. Forget the title though. The crew was British and I saw it on the Real Stories channel on YouTube.
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Dec 17, 2019 20:02
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Are Mormons worse than Jehovah's?
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Dec 17, 2019 20:17
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