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Escape From Noise

Hello. Good Evening. And also please cut to the chase!

I'm a very busy and wealthy businessman who does a lot of really important business things like making money but also hiring and firing people. I've been featured in Forbes several times, wine and dine with high powered executives as well as celebrities and politicians. I'm a member of every country club that is worth a drat. I am also offering a helping hand to you poor poor souls to develop your idea into a multi-million dollar company if I think you have what it takes!

This is Shark's Den! Pitch me your ideas and I, or other investors ITT will throw you a few bucks to possibly develop this. No ideas are bad ideas, but some ideas are not very good!

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City of Glompton

id like funding to make a savory version of fun dip lik a stix

i'm thinking jerky with cheez powder will be my prototype


thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

Pot Smoke Phoenix



Smoke 'em if you gottem!
A pair of chopsticks that have little vacuums in them to hold the food on them making it look like I can use I mean, like someone can use them the right way

Pot Smoke Phoenix



Smoke 'em if you gottem!
A pair of shoes with wheels in them that autopilot me to my destination, like the kitchen- in front of the fridge, for example like what those cars have.

vanisher

Are you ready for this?

Three words

Spicy spiked seltzer

nut

hello sharks and dragons my name is Nut and i am the founder and c.e.o. (chief environmental oppah gangnum style) of Talking-into-an-Oscillating-Fan Enterprise and Sons L.L.C., you might be wondering why i sound weird and cool like Zordon from the power rangers, and for 100 000 dollars in exchange for 5% equity in my company, I'll let you find out

DOPE FIEND KILLA G

nut posted:

hello sharks and dragons my name is Nut and i am the founder and c.e.o. (chief environmental oppah gangnum style) of Talking-into-an-Oscillating-Fan Enterprise and Sons L.L.C., you might be wondering why i sound weird and cool like Zordon from the power rangers, and for 100 000 dollars in exchange for 5% equity in my company, I'll let you find out

intriguing idea, but personally what i'm more interested in is targetting the considerable portion of the market who buy your product not for the intended purpose but rather so they can blow the fan up the bottom of their oversized t-shirt to become a large inflatible person. thats where the big money is here. i'll give you five bucks for a 100,000% stake

nut

DOPE FIEND KILLA G posted:

intriguing idea, but personally what i'm more interested in is targetting the considerable portion of the market who buy your product not for the intended purpose but rather so they can blow the fan up the bottom of their oversized t-shirt to become a large inflatible person. thats where the big money is here. i'll give you five bucks for a 100,000% stake

please i can't give up a controlling share just because oh jesus christ sorry i didn't realize how huge you are oh my god sorry let me start bowing oh my god please don't eat my village take whatever you need

Luvcow

One day nearer spring
*me standing in front of five hobos squatting under a bridge wondering why none of them want to invest in my brilliant idea*

Queen-Of-Hearts

"I want to break your heart💔 and give you mine🫀"






I beseech you to help me make this childhood fantasy bullshit actually work.


:h: sig by Prof. Crocodile:h:
:byodame:BYOB spells: Mutually Assured Kindness:byodame:

Pot Smoke Phoenix



Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Six-Of-Hearts posted:



I beseech you to help me make this childhood fantasy bullshit actually work.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdXDEerEyY8

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

Queen-Of-Hearts

"I want to break your heart💔 and give you mine🫀"




Okay but how do we make that work on a 2013 kia soul?
Asking for a me.


:h: sig by Prof. Crocodile:h:
:byodame:BYOB spells: Mutually Assured Kindness:byodame:

Pot Smoke Phoenix



Smoke 'em if you gottem!

Six-Of-Hearts posted:

Okay but how do we make that work on a 2013 kia soul?
Asking for a me.

More parts...

And a longer video

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

FutonForensic

hello sharks. for $360 dollars of your investment, i will get a one-year subscription to the gym. and i will get fuckin shredded. i will turn this hambody into carnitas. and when i am done, and there is no fiber in my being left to engorge, you and you alone will have the privilege of eating sushi off of my rockin lats. i introduce: the ManPlate


Lil Swamp Booger Baby

Hello welcome to Shark DEn OP I would like to propose to you my new product, a small cube with a small door in the middle that when's opened *holds cube to ur face and opens the door* you can see has a small man inside *removes small man and places him on small surgical table, the small man giggles like the pillsbury doughboy.* this small man, when opened *holds up small scalpel* as you will see *cuts open small man's big bouncy belly ; he giggles like the pillsbury doughboy* contains *picks up small surgical table and holds it up to your face* yet another small object

*removes small object from the man ; he giggles like the pillsbury doughboy*

As you can see it is a post in BYOB about weed smell which has been fermenting in this small man

Now tell me what do you notice about this small man?

*you look down and gasp cuz this small man is very familiar*

Yes OP that's correct, this small man is a boxed up, customized to order, very small version of you who will grow posts inside of him of him when you're too busy to think up good posts yourself and you can then remove these posts to make use of

But don't worry OP, he is in fact recyclable *puts small man in small blender and hits the blend button, there is a giggle like the pillsbury doughboy vibrating out one last time*

Since the small man is comprised mostly of highly energetic cells harvested from radium code, he can be drunk down after use to offer a small increase in posting ability for 24 hours (side effects include naseau, confusion, and in very rare cases, mistaking Coupons and Deals for BYOB)

*puts glass of blended small man in front of you*

I hope you like my idea and will fund it OP goodbye from Shark Den

cda

by Hand Knit

FutonForensic posted:

hello sharks. for $360 dollars of your investment, i will get a one-year subscription to the gym. and i will get fuckin shredded. i will turn this hambody into carnitas. and when i am done, and there is no fiber in my being left to engorge, you and you alone will have the privilege of eating sushi off of my rockin lats. i introduce: the ManPlate

Mr. Dick

by Cyrano4747
An internet forum that charges $9 to register.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Pot Smoke Phoenix



Smoke 'em if you gottem!
Let's imagine for a minute I have a literal unlimited budget.

If I did, this is what I would propose. My suggestion involves building a wide, deep river from the ocean deep into a desert, where the river ends at a dam where the water dumps into a huge flood plain that the sea water falls into. The dam generates electricity, and the sun bakes the water into vapor that rains all over the rest of wherever the floodplain is around, and wherever the air currents will carry it.

There are several deserts throughout the world, the US included.

The bigger the floodplain and the hotter the desert, the more water that will flow from the ocean and generate electricity and evaporate into the air and rain somewhere else, depending on prevailing winds, etc.

Used strategically, this would and could solve much of the world's energy and water needs, and make new transportation links where they don't currently exist.

Add a filtration system to the inlet of the system and you could trap microplastics and macroplastics out of the ocean .

You could also have a hydroelectric dam at the inlet of the system, to increase power generation opportunities.

This system, if used globally and extensively could also counteract global warming and decrease ocean levels to counter climate change by giving increasing sea levels a place to rise into (the river system and flood plain, and ultimately, the atmosphere). Cooling off the deserts with sea water could decrease the overall surface temperature across the globe if used extensively by reducing desert hot spot temperatures annually.

There is profit in this.

The profit is a future for our species.

The expense is high, but not unattainable- and it could pay for itself over time in water usage, transportation, and most of all, electrical power generation.

It would also demand a need for global labor, so wages would be available- if paid fairly, many would benefit.

Drawbacks could be an increase in salt buildups, disruption in some ocean currents and fish migrations, introduction of invasive species, and of course destruction of the desert's natural habitat, to name some.

The benefits could be priceless, especially if crops could be grown where they currently cannot, and the other climate change negatives could be balanced out, if used globally.

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

My Asian Grandma

smoking bowls out of blaster rifle barrels

that chile should be wearing a helmet

My Asian Grandma

smoking bowls out of blaster rifle barrels
a service that tracks down everyone who's seen you do something embarrassing and tricks them into signing a nondisclosure agreement

Escape From Noise

Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:

A pair of chopsticks that have little vacuums in them to hold the food on them making it look like I can use I mean, like someone can use them the right way



Pot Smoke Phoenix posted:

A pair of shoes with wheels in them that autopilot me to my destination, like the kitchen- in front of the fridge, for example like what those cars have.

I'm intrigued. Have one million dollars.

Escape From Noise

City of Glompton posted:

id like funding to make a savory version of fun dip lik a stix

i'm thinking jerky with cheez powder will be my prototype



vanisher posted:

Are you ready for this?

Three words

Spicy spiked seltzer

Two words: brand synergy

tradjik

I have an idea for a product

it's called lemon schumpty

it's gonna be lemon flavoured

pls don't steal

Lil Swamp Booger Baby

tradjik posted:

I have an idea for a product

it's called lemon schumpty

it's gonna be lemon flavoured

pls don't steal

That's cool if you want to collaborate we can become partners and combine schumpty with my small post gestating man for lemon flavor and schumpty

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Escape From Noise

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

Hello welcome to Shark DEn OP I would like to propose to you my new product, a small cube with a small door in the middle that when's opened *holds cube to ur face and opens the door* you can see has a small man inside *removes small man and places him on small surgical table, the small man giggles like the pillsbury doughboy.* this small man, when opened *holds up small scalpel* as you will see *cuts open small man's big bouncy belly ; he giggles like the pillsbury doughboy* contains *picks up small surgical table and holds it up to your face* yet another small object

*removes small object from the man ; he giggles like the pillsbury doughboy*

As you can see it is a post in BYOB about weed smell which has been fermenting in this small man

Now tell me what do you notice about this small man?

*you look down and gasp cuz this small man is very familiar*

Yes OP that's correct, this small man is a boxed up, customized to order, very small version of you who will grow posts inside of him of him when you're too busy to think up good posts yourself and you can then remove these posts to make use of

But don't worry OP, he is in fact recyclable *puts small man in small blender and hits the blend button, there is a giggle like the pillsbury doughboy vibrating out one last time*

Since the small man is comprised mostly of highly energetic cells harvested from radium code, he can be drunk down after use to offer a small increase in posting ability for 24 hours (side effects include naseau, confusion, and in very rare cases, mistaking Coupons and Deals for BYOB)

*puts glass of blended small man in front of you*

I hope you like my idea and will fund it OP goodbye from Shark Den

Did you say...

*removes glasses*

Coupons and Deals???

tradjik

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

That's cool if you want to collaborate we can become partners and combine schumpty with my small post gestating man for lemon flavor and schumpty

I don't know what this means but thank you for noticing my post

you can have lemon schumpty just treat it well <3

Lil Swamp Booger Baby

SweetWillyRollbar posted:

Did you say...

*removes glasses*

Coupons and Deals???

I said it in a really fast voice like the micromachines guy so I thought u wouldn't hear

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

tradjik

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

I said it in a really fast voice like the micromachines guy so I thought u wouldn't hear

I read this really fast and now I need 2 chill

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Lil Swamp Booger Baby

tradjik posted:

I read this really fast and now I need 2 chill

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4X4Fy8YqysY

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

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