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teardrop
Dec 20, 2004

by Pragmatica
A few months ago the Navy admitted that UFOs are real, and the Pentagon has been documenting impossible aerial maneuvers for decades.

https://www.cnn.com/2019/09/18/politics/navy-confirms-ufo-videos-trnd/index.html

Nobody cares, because everything is so hosed up in general these days. Will a UFO come pay my bills? Will a UFO fix a broken social contract that destroyed our sense of community and put Right and Left at each others’ throats? Will a UFO abduct me from this dead gay Earth before climate change displaces a quarter of the population and destabilizes the entire planet? Lame.

Is it weird that nobody cares? I feel like even 20 years ago, staring down Y2K, people were collectively searching for meaning and imagining worlds beyond their everyday. Has being connected to Google 24/7 with our personal portable Skinner box made us feel saturated with information, or have people actually always given no fucks? For all of the conspiracy theories about mind control brainwashing, the punch line is that advertising and fake news breed apathy cheaper and better.

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RabbitWizard
Oct 21, 2008

Muldoon
The aliens are just here to watch our last days as a civilization that is too dumb as a whole to exist.

I feel you.

is pepsi ok
Oct 23, 2002

It's probably just swamp gas, OP.

The Bananana
May 21, 2008

This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.



Aliens real.
Real gay.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
UFOs are real stupid. I dare you to come down here and scoop out my rear end in a top hat little green men!

Mr. Smile Face Hat
Sep 15, 2003

Praise be to China's Covid-Zero Policy
Can confirm that OP’s mom is real.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Harold Stassen
Jan 24, 2016
Aliens are real but society has become so compartmentalized that even when something is true you can live and believe in such a fashion that it may as well not be real. See: people in the western world re: climate catastrophe. They don’t have to look at the world they’re creating so it’s business as usual- and what do they see in their lives that disputes this?

Also, yeah- nobody gives a poo poo if aliens are real if we still have to go to work the next day. If something like that doesn’t change in our lives on account of this discovery, it’s as if it has no impact at all.

And most people believe in god instead of aliens since there’s probably equivalent proof and aliens are just ‘god’ for ‘rational’ people. So the irrational group you have against you was never going to believe you anyway since they’ve got something familiar already to explain the same phenomena.

It’s a good question why don’t people care about it but the answer is there and it’s kind of depressing because it shows how little of a consensus reality exists and that truth really doesn’t matter to people anymore. Nothing has credibility so people go with their own belief or institutions that declare themselves infallible

mycomancy
Oct 16, 2016
I was just talking about this with my wife yesterday evening. It's kind of a bummer. Imagine if you went back in time 25 years and told yourself, "Yep, the Navy admitted UFOs are real, and not only do you not give a poo poo, literally NO ONE gives a poo poo. Also don't watch The Apprentice."

I'd be confused and then bummed out.

Like I am now.

Adulthood sucks.

Mr. Smile Face Hat
Sep 15, 2003

Praise be to China's Covid-Zero Policy
Nobody gives a poo poo about aliens. This week's episode has a plot of the subversion: Guest star Mackenzie Crawford's character is brainwashed into thinking the main character is a human named John K (played by an actor who, upon putting on a prosthetic mask, looks exactly like the real John K). He goes to alien lands, cuts off his hand, murders a woman and then cuts his own throat.
It's a B-plot and not a plot at all, and I'm shocked that the show hasn't started getting outrage for that choice.

Schweinhund
Oct 23, 2004

:derp:   :kayak:                                     
Aliens are so 90s.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
This one's getting filed in Z files

Rod Hoofhearted
Jun 18, 2000

I am a ghost




Looks at video of UFOs provided by Navy.

"Doesn't look like anything to me."

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


"Intelligent life existing" is less surprising and less depressing than "it being smart enough to keep its loving distance from us, because we're too dumb to live and too evil to not kill it at the first chance we got"

RabbitWizard posted:

The aliens are just here to watch our last days as a civilization that is too dumb as a whole to exist.

I feel you.

Pretty much agree completely with this and TOMMY and myco's posts too

b-minus1
Jul 24, 2008

She's a maniac, maniac
on the floor
And she's dancing like she's never danced before
Tom delonge was right all along

teardrop
Dec 20, 2004

by Pragmatica

LabyaMynora posted:

Looks at video of UFOs provided by Navy.

"Doesn't look like anything to me."

Even without context on the video, those sighting have been exhaustively studied by the Pentagon without being debunked. Either UFOs exist, with incredible speed and maneuverability, or this is a illusion capable of hacking multiple systems on multiple vehicles including an Aegis cruiser plus pilots’ eyeballs. Not sure which would be scarier.

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/12/16/...e&region=Footer

Oldstench
Jun 29, 2007

Let's talk about where you're going.
Sorry to disappoint you but we have not been visited by aliens. If a species becomes self-aware enough to form a civilization and technologically advanced enough to create weapons, that species will kill itself. The universe is likely full to brim of dead or dying civilizations. The universe is likely filled with life that will never meet each other so we might as well admit we're effectively alone, our lives are ultimately pointless, and we will snuff out just like all the others that came before and it doesn't matter.

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer

Oldstench posted:

Sorry to disappoint you but we have not been visited by aliens. If a species becomes self-aware enough to form a civilization and technologically advanced enough to create weapons, that species will kill itself. The universe is likely full to brim of dead or dying civilizations. The universe is likely filled with life that will never meet each other so we might as well admit we're effectively alone, our lives are ultimately pointless, and we will snuff out just like all the others that came before and it doesn't matter.

Aliens have no interest in weapons, only probing rear end. We also have hope still, just need to focus on the rear end even more

is pepsi ok
Oct 23, 2002

If your species manages to solve all its problems what else is there to do in life than find as many weird buttholes as you can and poke things into them?

Rod Hoofhearted
Jun 18, 2000

I am a ghost




is pepsi ok posted:

If your species manages to solve all its problems what else is there to do in life than find as many weird buttholes as you can and poke things into them?

"To explore strange new worlds. To seek out new life and new civilizations. To boldly go where no man has gone before - straight into new and exotic buttholes!"

Noblesse Obliged
Apr 7, 2012

Aliens have been fighting a war with us for hundreds of years. But they simply don't understand how to kill us as the only thing that can kill them is a probe to the rear end

Kazak
Jan 10, 2012

Oldstench posted:

Sorry to disappoint you but we have not been visited by aliens. If a species becomes self-aware enough to form a civilization and technologically advanced enough to create weapons, that species will kill itself. The universe is likely full to brim of dead or dying civilizations. The universe is likely filled with life that will never meet each other so we might as well admit we're effectively alone, our lives are ultimately pointless, and we will snuff out just like all the others that came before and it doesn't matter.

Boring! What's it like having a depressed and uncreative mind? Don't answer that, I don't want to know.

When did nerds / atheists become such mopey debbie downers without a shred of optimism or wonder to illuminate their angry little existences? Imagine going through life not believing in anything because it might make you feel good and motivated to strive for more than your current lot, and actually choosing instead to be a dusty fart in the wind with no hope for yourself and nothing to contribute to society beyond your boring rear end glum self. See a therapist.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

I like that the Navy's response to this was "Eeey....hey hey hey we didn't ACTUALLY want to release this and all and WOAH there..." and then they realized that no one gave a single poo poo, and they just kinda looked around and laughed uncomfortably and went "Heh..well ok."

Kazak
Jan 10, 2012

"the cosmos are populated only by the dead husks of a million civilizations too ignorant to survive, so says I"

*Carl Sagan puts me in a dragon sleeper while Stephen Hawking rolls over my worthless posting fingers*

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Which is to say: UFO's are totally real and the Navy knows it, doesn't want YOU to know it, and just went "...sure...sure." to the official release of "UFO's are real, dog." Which is kinda funny.

Jay_Zombie
Apr 20, 2007

We're sealing the tunnel!
I, for one, welcome our new alien overlords and offer myself for all their probing needs.

ELI PORTER
Sep 16, 2007

I posted on Something Awful and all I got was this lousy t-shirt
Someone get Molder and Skulky or whatever on it. Hopefully my rear end can get probed in the mean time.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Jay_Zombie posted:

I, for one, welcome our new alien overlords and offer myself for all their probing needs.

*sarcastically exclaims* MY rear end

Noblesse Obliged
Apr 7, 2012

Goatman didn't die. He just went home

Rod Hoofhearted
Jun 18, 2000

I am a ghost




Noblesse Obliged posted:

Aliens have been fighting a war with us for hundreds of years. But they simply don't understand how to kill us as the only thing that can kill them is a probe to the rear end

I often wonder if an alien civilization capable of doing the work necessary for interstellar travel would be hyper-literal and incapable of lying and creating fiction.

Like, aliens are just watching us baffled by... everything. The way we make up stories. The way we lie and deceive one another. They're just looking down and whether it's Harry Potter, Star Wars, or religion and politics they're just like, "Why are they saying that? Why are they doing that? That isn't real, I don't understand why they put so much time and effort into these things that are false."

Edgar
Sep 9, 2005

Oh my heck!
Oh heavens!
Oh my lord!
OH Sweet meats!
Wedge Regret
I don't think they are aliens but fancy skunk works boondoggle.

Noblesse Obliged
Apr 7, 2012

They believe we are reality engines and have alternative dimensional constructs inside of us and are trying to figure out how we do it

ELI PORTER
Sep 16, 2007

I posted on Something Awful and all I got was this lousy t-shirt
The Skunkwords guys are having an extremely "gay old time" (christmas reference), letting folk's believe in aliens and just huffing jenkem and things of that nature.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Edgar posted:

I don't think they are aliens but fancy skunk works boondoggle.

honestly I got no idea what these things are (I mean should anyone?), but some kind of un-manned probe thing wouldn't surprise me at all. The things they were doing would kill any normally recognized physical body, as meaningless as that is, due to G-forces and blah blah blah.
Plus they just look lame.

If you told me they were some kind of multi-vector thrust probe drone things or whatever I'd just say "sure". That'd be just or almost as cool as some unknown cloud spaceship, barring contact of some kind. I dunno.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
Nah they are clearly mechanical elves projecting psychic UFOs hence their unpredictable and often impossible movements

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...


Clapping Larry
Thinking about alien butts.

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
Literally every single alien butt probing is just hazing from local proctology college students though, trust me on this

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Colonel Cancer posted:

Nah they are clearly mechanical elves projecting psychic UFOs hence their unpredictable and often impossible movements

I don't...I don't appreciate this.

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

Noblesse Obliged posted:

Goatman didn't die. He just went home

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer
If I ever meet an alien my first question will be about how they decide on which species to mutilate and which to finger

To any aliens reading: i'm not complaining, just curious

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GolfHole
Feb 26, 2004

if aliens are here it basically means we (and most life throughout the universe in general, including the aliens) is hosed

this video is cool: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjtOGPJ0URM

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