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that i took out the trash
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Dec 28, 2019 13:18
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That the lights upstairs aren't flickering
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Dec 28, 2019 15:27
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I always tell her I'm not going to do things and then I do them. If she tells me to do some household chore and I say no and then I do it anyway before she gets home. That's about it.
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Dec 28, 2019 15:31
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That my first wife died in a tragic boating accident
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Dec 28, 2019 15:35
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"I'm not buying anymore warhams until I finish painting the ones I have"
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Dec 28, 2019 17:13
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Hey op She knew you were gonna lie before she even asked the question She just wanted to know which lie you were gonna tell
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Dec 28, 2019 17:23
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Barudak posted:That my first wife died in a tragic boating accident a motorboating accident?
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Dec 28, 2019 17:35
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I...uh....don't lie to my spouse OP. She's an adult and can handle the truth.
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Dec 28, 2019 17:45
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she thinks I'm going to get rid of our china cabinet and put in a pinball machine. I keep telling her I'm not going to do that but I am 100% going to do that.
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Dec 28, 2019 17:59
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my ex before last used to point out v good butts if I didn't see them first I can't ever again date anybody who gets crabby about other people being attractive
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Dec 28, 2019 23:27
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that time i meowed like a cat and backed out of the room on all fours i was really doing it to hide my boner. also i only fixed her printer to get laid
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Dec 28, 2019 23:29
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i'm usually juggling about 9 or 10 different lies and at any given moment the house of cards can come tumbling down
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Dec 28, 2019 23:30
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Sekenr posted:No, its a secret Did you gently caress a cat
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Dec 28, 2019 23:42
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Les Os posted:Did you gently caress a cat what do you think
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Dec 29, 2019 00:58
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A normal amount. I keep telling her to get her hearing tested because I'm pretty sure she's half deaf and it causes issues, but she keeps not hearing me when I ask her.
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Dec 29, 2019 02:28
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Sekenr posted:Not married but cheated on my gf with a goddamned coworker you dummy
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Dec 29, 2019 02:34
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Can't lie to someone who doesn't exist! Same reason I don't lie to myself.
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Dec 29, 2019 02:47
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star eater posted:you dummy Now now, let's here them out. So just how stupid are you Sekenr? Like, is this a coworker you see everyday? Have they met your girlfriend. Are they your immediate superior/employee?
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Dec 29, 2019 02:48
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That the photos they took from their $5,000+ camera setup were better than the ones I'd snap on old smartphones. No amount of floating cash can save you if you're boring. Felt bad about it at the time but now they're my ex and they suck and I laugh thinking about it. That's pretty much the worst thing because why would you lie to your partner, be an adult
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Dec 29, 2019 03:19
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Sekenr posted:Not married but cheated on my gf with a goddamned coworker hell yeah i loved that yospos thread
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Dec 29, 2019 03:23
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That he’s not annoying as poo poo today. He’s under a lot of work stress and is doing his best.
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Dec 29, 2019 04:19
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Hmm 'work stress', that's a good one. I'm gonna use that.
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Dec 29, 2019 05:52
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I. M. Gei posted:Having a spouse
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Dec 29, 2019 05:53
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OMFG FURRY posted:that i took out the trash well. you did just post a thread
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Dec 29, 2019 05:54
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:BBC wont talk to me no more No talking = no lying! That's True Love folks!
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Dec 29, 2019 06:04
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Les Os posted:Did you gently caress a cat yes
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Dec 29, 2019 06:04
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That I have never noticed the amazing rear end a coworker has. She picked me up one day and saw her on the parking lot and said “have you noticed the rear end xxxx has?” “Huh? Really? Never noticed”.
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Dec 31, 2019 17:36
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The Management posted:My wife asked if I saw what the hostess that seated us was wearing because that outfit was totally inappropriate. I said I didn’t notice what she was wearing. That was a lie because I did notice and she had great tits and I am glad she wore that dress, but I’m not going to say that. El Chupacabras posted:That I have never noticed the amazing rear end a coworker has. She picked me up one day and saw her on the parking lot and said “have you noticed the rear end xxxx has?” “Huh? Really? Never noticed”. Is this whole "i can't observe the world around me" thing like an attempt to appeal to their motherly instincts or what's going on here?
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Dec 31, 2019 17:52
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Dec 31, 2019 18:11
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Those bomb-rear end titties sauced out for the boys are totally inappropriate, I better go in for a closer look, for research
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Dec 31, 2019 18:11
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Icochet posted:Is this whole "i can't observe the world around me" thing like an attempt to appeal to their motherly instincts or what's going on here? “My testosterone only makes me look at your rear end/tits baby I swear”. I also have been accused of looking at an rear end/tits when I just zoned out looking at nothing in particular.
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Dec 31, 2019 18:12
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El Chupacabras posted:“My testosterone only makes me look at your rear end/tits baby I swear”. I also have been accused of looking at an rear end/tits when I just zoned out looking at nothing in particular. 'twas sever thus
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Dec 31, 2019 18:22
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I love looking at boobs and butts
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Dec 31, 2019 18:30
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Sekenr posted:Not married but cheated on my gf with a goddamned coworker Was it worth it?
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Dec 31, 2019 18:30
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Icochet posted:Is this whole "i can't observe the world around me" thing like an attempt to appeal to their motherly instincts or what's going on here? You know the old tv trope of the bumbling husband and the smarter wife who sighs and puts up with it because he’s a good guy, just kind of dummy sometimes? He’s faking it.
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Dec 31, 2019 18:36
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The Management posted:You know the old tv trope of the bumbling husband and the smarter wife who sighs and puts up with it because he’s a good guy, just kind of dummy sometimes? These are the types of men who won't change a lovely diaper because "I just don't understand how to change a diaper  ". When the spouse is like, "honey could you run the dishwasher while I'm a the store?" He purposefully fucks it u[ so in the future he can use the "you remember what happened last time" excuse. Death to men like this.
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Dec 31, 2019 18:39
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Lying about the size of my magnum dong. It's way huge but I don't want her to feel self-conscious about her extra large vagina so I tell her it's normal size.
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Dec 31, 2019 18:40
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There was this show on TV about firefighters that my wife was watching and at one point one of the firefighters took their shirt off and then I shot the TV with a shotgun eight times and then I quipped "Sanctity of marriage, baby" in my best Schwarzenegger accent
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Dec 31, 2019 18:44
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Nice try making this thread, spouse. I almost fell for it... but you made one small mistake.
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Dec 31, 2019 19:18
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Barudak posted:That my first wife died in a tragic boating accident The life insurance policy amount
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Dec 31, 2019 20:07
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