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WhiteHowler
Apr 3, 2001

I'M HUGE!
Pet Island Heavy Petting Pet Memorial Thread

This was originally a memorial thread for my own dog, Ahboo. After seeing all of the incredible support, and goons sharing stories of their own lost pets, I wondered if the forum needed a general pet memorial thread. I asked the moderator about it, and she thought it was a great idea, so I've moved Ahboo's stuff to the bottom of the OP, and we'll be keeping the thread open for anyone to use for their own lost pet -- or to support others.

Huh? Pet memorial thread?

Unfortunately, losing your furry friend is something every pet owner has to deal with at some point. Unless your pet outlives you, of course, in which case you have... other problems.

This is a place where goons can remember their fallen animals and support each other as they cope with their losses.

Feel free to share photos, drawings, stories, and memories of your lost pets. You're absolutely invited to support others, to ask/answer questions about dealing with this type or loss, and to give updates on your own healing process.

This was originally a dog thread, but you can post about your lost cat, ferret, turtle, hamster, snake, hermit crab, or whatever. We won't judge.

Managing the tone

Let's try to keep this thread an island of positivity.

I know, we're goons, we love dark humor and a touch of cynicism. But please remember that the posters here are real people. Some of us have just lost our long-time companion, best friend, and family member. This is not a place for mocking or criticism. If making a little fun of your own departed pet is part of your healing process, go for it, but please be sensitive to others. When in doubt, keep it positive.

I'm not the forum police, but I have a feeling that threadshitting and negativity won't be tolerated by the mods.


I'll get you started...
_________

Ahboo Boober "Oatmeal Brains" passed just after the holidays at 14 and a half years of age.


Glamour shot!

He was a shelter dog we adopted when he was around 10 months old. We think that he was a lab/poodle mix, but we never knew for sure.


Ahboo's first day at home with us.

The shelter swore he wouldn't grow anymore (he did, to nearly 90 pounds), and that he probably wouldn't shed much (holy poo poo, we'll be finding Ahboo fur around the house for the next decade).


"I don't always chew on toys, but when I do, I choose Squeaky Fish."

He was a loyal companion through a cross-country move, several job changes, and our first home. Which we bought because it has a HUGE fenced-in backyard. This will always be Ahboo's house.


"Yeah, nice yard. It's freezing out here. Screw this. My old bones are coming back inside."

After a happy holiday with his extended family, his body finally gave out. His downward trend was very quick -- less than a day -- and he didn't suffer.


Ahboo could sense when someone was feeling bad. He'd often bring them his lion toy, because that always made him feel better. He also occasionally tried to trade it for bacon.

He passed surrounded by his loved ones and his favorite toys, and with a stomach full of hamburger and french fries. We didn't give him much people food as he got older, but we wanted him to have an amazing final meal.


When presented with his burger and fries, Ahboo was himself again for a few minutes. He seemed so happy.

He was the smartest, cleverest, most loving, and most frustratingly stubborn dog I've ever met. He was my best friend.


Just before the ride to the vet. Forever my buddy.

As devastated as I am to think of Ahboo being gone, I smile a little at every photo. I will miss Ahboo dearly, but we had nearly fourteen amazing years together. He had a life and a home full of love, and he returned that love to his final day.

I hope these photos will make you smile a little too, and that you'll hug your loved ones (furry or otherwise) in Ahboo's honor.

WhiteHowler fucked around with this message at 17:04 on Jan 18, 2020

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WhiteHowler
Apr 3, 2001

I'M HUGE!

Slugworth posted:

My condolences. 14 years is a good run, I'm sure he was well cared for and well loved.
Thank you. Fourteen+ years for a dog that size is rare. As Ahboo got along in years we had a few health scares, but he always managed to bounce back. He was so strong-willed that we always joked he was just too stubborn to die. Not that we wouldn't give anything for another (healthy) year, or a day, or an hour with him.

I actually think he knew he was ready a few days before, but he waited until our visiting families left and things were back to "normal". He'd seemed so unnaturally tired for a few days, but otherwise pretty normal. Eating, drinking, even playing in very short bursts. Within a couple of hours of my mom (his "nana") leaving, he started to go downhill quickly.

I know people say you shouldn't attribute human rationality or emotions to dogs, but damned if Ahboo didn't have some empathy. And we always suspected he understood a lot more about what was going on around him than a dog probably should.

Fluffy Bunnies posted:

That's a very good dog and I'm sorry it's gone.

Now I have to go hug a bunch of wet dogs because it won't stop raining, OP, and I make them go potty in the rain. I cannot imagine that Ahboo would have approved.
Hug them double, poor wet doggos!

Ahboo hated hated hated going out in the rain. He had a silky but shaggy coat that absorbed water like a sponge. Even shaking off (usually right next to an open dishwasher full of clean dishes) or towel-drying didn't do much. He took hours to dry, and he didn't enjoy being wet.

RobotsLoveSpectres posted:

I saw this post from the front page.

I'm so sorry for your loss dude. I also just lost my best friend yesterday, she was eight.
No matter how long they live it's never enough.
I'm sorry. My heart goes out to you. We always want more time with them, it's true. A friend reminded me that dogs live in the moment, so while I know your time with her seemed too short, if she was well-loved, that's all she knew. Eight years or fourteen, it was a good, happy life.

WhiteHowler
Apr 3, 2001

I'M HUGE!
Wow. It has been a couple of days, and I'm still pretty wrecked.

We moved all of Ahboo's belongings up into the storage room, but I keep seeing little things that set me off. Bits of dog fur. The marks on the floor from his food bowl. The remaining half-package of peanut butter crackers we'd split the morning we went to the vet.

Ahboo was always part of my support structure - he was so good at making us feel better when we were down. So losing him is doubly hard, because I don't have him to lean on anymore.

I know it gets better. But we'd been preparing for this for so long (two Christmases ago, we thought "well, this is probably his last holiday, so let's make it special"). I thought we were "ready" - as much as you can be. But I just feel broken and empty. Going to surround myself with friends and loved ones for a few days and try to get through it.

WhiteHowler
Apr 3, 2001

I'M HUGE!
Yeah, it was a rough weekend. Last night we got to go play board games and pet a friend's Very Good Dog. She reminded us a lot of Ahboo in terms of her personality and quirks and where she liked to be petted, but never in a painful way.

We washed Ahboo's old, well-loved, well-worn pet bed and gave it to her. She sniffed it and immediately plopped down in it. Ahboo loved other dogs, so seeing another one enjoy one of his things made us very happy.

Today a good friend is coming over to help me go through Ahboo's belongings. He's going to figure out what can be donated, given away, or thrown out. I think it's going to be easier on me that way -- some of those old toys are completely broken, but I don't think I could handle throwing them out on my own.

So... We're starting to heal. Thanks everyone for your support. If you want to share dog photos or stories (happy or sad), I'd love to read them. I've been spending a lot of time in the other dog threads here lately, and it has helped.

WhiteHowler
Apr 3, 2001

I'M HUGE!

Fuzz Feets posted:

Just popping in to say I’m sorry for your loss. Your posts are a lovely tribute and he looked like a really good boy.
Thank you. He really was such a good dog. Always wanted to please us, and to be near us whenever possible.

Ahboo story!

We used to have a lawn service that would forget to close the back gates when they were done. We were usually good about checking the gates after a mow, but one time they came while we were out, and we didn't realize it.

So I let Ahboo out into the backyard for a bit to potty and sniff around. About ten minutes later I went to let him back in - and he was gone. Side gate was wide open.

I panicked and started calling for him, walking around the houses nearby, but he was nowhere to be found. I got in my car and drove around the neighborhood trying to find him. After an hour it was starting to get dark, so I decided to drive home and call animal control to see if they'd had reports or picked any dogs up.

As I pulled into the driveway, I saw a wet, dirty, and incredibly happy Ahboo trotting up the sidewalk toward my house. I wrangled him into the backyard and started cleaning. He'd gone down to the river behind my subdivision and picked up a ton of thorny branches, brambles, and countless ticks. My wife and I spent about an hour and a half on the patio washing him and picking thorns and ticks out of his fur. And the whole time, despite the annoyance of the cold hose water, we could tell how incredibly satisfied he was with his adventure.

WhiteHowler fucked around with this message at 00:06 on Jan 7, 2020

WhiteHowler
Apr 3, 2001

I'M HUGE!

Hasselblad posted:

OP, how goes the healing?

Just yesterday I had to say goodbye to my constant companion of 16+ years. Working from my home office he was rarely more than a floor away from me, and everywhere I look is a reminder of him. Including the pup bed at the feet of my desk.

He had a bout with liver disease a few years ago and he bounced back. This time it was not so kind. Reuben was a puppy up till the day prior when he was lethargic and then had a vicious blood clot in his hind leg. The liver disease was also back with a vengeance and he was in sudden excruciating pain. We were able to take that pain away and say goodbye while we held him. Hopefully Abhoo finds Reuben and they have some good romping.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Even when you know it's coming, even when you know that you did everything exactly right, it's hard to prepare for that missing part of your life afterwards. Reuben looks like an amazing dog. And I can totally understand the "he was a puppy almost until the end" - Ahboo was the same way. Even at 14, he wanted to play quite often - just not for as long before he got tired. It's great when a dog can keep being itself even into advanced age, and I'm sure Reuben appreciated all the love he got.

Seeing those reminders is tough. As soon as we got home from the vet, we gathered up all of Ahboo's things and put them upstairs in the storage room. While I was out the next day, my wife broke down his crate, moved it into a closet, went to various home goods stores, and got stuff to turn his old crate spot into a crafting and reading area. It helped a lot, and she is awesome for it. If the reminders keep getting to you, maybe you can try moving Reuben's stuff somewhere out of sight for a while (you can go through it when you're ready), and maybe move a few things around so his absence isn't so pronounced? I don't know, I'm no expert, but it worked for us.

As for us, we're coping. It gets a little better every day, but it's going to be a long road. Ahboo has a huge presence in our house. My instinct is still to greet him when I come downstairs in the morning, or walk in from the garage after work. I still try to check his non-present water bowl before bed. That'll take a while. It probably will for you too, but it's normal, and you should feel what you feel.

WhiteHowler
Apr 3, 2001

I'M HUGE!

Hasselblad posted:

I am definitely feeling the sudden hole in our lives. Our other JR (Bacon) is 19, and we fully expected her to go first and were already mentally preparing ourselves for her passing. We dreaded the thought of eventually losing Reuben, but despite him being 16 we thought it would be a ways off still.
Yeah. We'd been "preparing" for a couple of years. We'd already had some health scares, but Ahboo always bounced back. So in a way, we were kind of... waiting for him to go? Not that we wanted to lose him, of course, but we knew he'd already exceeded his source breeds' lifespan (11-13 years for labs, 12-14 for standard poodles). So it was always "soon". It didn't really prepare us at all.

quote:

With the 2 JRs we had a specific way of doing feeding, scheduled bathroom breaks for Bacon (she needs carried outside for her business), certain procedures for filling separate kongs with their individual treats, etc. Yes, we are still checking his water bowl and stuff. Muscle memory in a big way.
No matter how well you clean up, you'll keep finding things. Yesterday I was in my car, backing out of a parking space. I glanced back and saw the noseprints on the back window and had to re-park for a minute. Ugh. But it passes more and more quickly each time.

quote:

I fully expect that like with you, it will be a long road. The original plan was to bury the pups at their favorite splashing location (as seen in the video), but it is under a few feet of snow this time of year. As such we opted to have Reuben cremated and will be leaving his ashes there in the late spring when accessible. It's in a national forest where we will not have to worry about him being disturbed beyond the occasional moose and elk. It is where eventually my ashes will be as well.
The video of Reuben splashing around hadn't played correctly on my phone, so I just now saw it on my PC. Wow, it looks like he was having so much fun! That stick was bigger than him! What an awesome friend!

So... We also thought for a bit about how to deal with Ahboo's remains. I didn't want to take that big boy back home and try to bury him, and I remember having a friend who cremated his cat and then kept the ashes on a box on his mantle. That felt... odd to me (I feel the same way about keeping your great aunt's ashes in an urn).

To each their own, of course, but I decided that I had enough things to remember Ahboo by. So we asked the vet to just handle it. No regrets.


Soooo... All of that said... I've asked LITERALLY A BIRD if we could convert this into a general pet memorial thread. She liked the idea, so I re-did the OP and have requested a thread title and icon change. This can now be a place where all goons can share memories of their lost pets of any type. Except scorpions. gently caress those things.

WhiteHowler
Apr 3, 2001

I'M HUGE!

mediaphage posted:

We lost our beloved little bird, Hedy, this morning in an accident. She was a brave little thing that loved apples and exploring. I’m so sorry, Hedy, we loved you so much.


Oh no. I'm so sorry. :(

She was absolutely beautiful. Such amazing colors.

I know it's easy to overanalyze everything. Whatever happened, please don't blame yourselves. You obviously loved her, and I'm sure you had her best interests at heart.

Accidents just happen sometimes. I can't count the number of times we accidently left a door or gate open, and it's only by sheer luck the dog didn't get out into traffic, or we were able to track him down quickly. It just... sucks. And I feel for you.

WhiteHowler
Apr 3, 2001

I'M HUGE!

Axqu posted:

I thought a glass lid would be enough to keep him in his tank. He's been with me through two cross-country moves and a hell of a lot of sadbrains. When I found him, I thought it was in time to save him, but he was already past the point of no return and he died shortly after I got him in his hospital tank. I should've put a brick on top. I should've been better. He was relying on me to keep him safe and I failed him. After all he did for me, I owed him bare minimum that much. It's not his fault he jumped out. His brain is literally sub- pea sized. This frog kept me from taking my own life when I was at my lowest and I failed him. He could've lived another decade. He should've lived another decade. If I wasn't such a lovely frogmom he WOULD have lived another decade.

RIP Paul. I miss you terribly and I loved you a lot.
I'm very sorry your frog friend is gone. It sounds like he meant the world to you.

So... I don't want to seem insensitive in the face of your loss, but I don't think you're being fair to yourself. None of us are perfect, and we can't dwell on mistakes, especially if they were made under good intentions. If I started analyzing all the things I did "wrong" with my (now departed) dog, I'd never forgive myself. Not walking him enough. Occasionally ignoring him when he wanted attention. And yeah, not double-checking the side gates to make sure he couldn't escape and get run over. He didn't, but he easily could have a few different times because I was too lazy to check the gates before letting him into the yard.

What happened to your frog is heartbreaking. But you did the things that seemed right at the time -- you just didn't think this could have happened. It's done now. Grieve as you need to, but don't hate yourself for it. That's just a path back to the place Paul saved you from.

And... If you do find yourself drifting back toward that dark place, please get help. The goons here aren't equipped to help you with that, so find a professional that can. If you need references, please send me a PM with your general location (even country is fine), and I'm happy to find some resources for you.

WhiteHowler
Apr 3, 2001

I'M HUGE!
Oh gosh, I somehow missed a couple of posts here.

Charles posted:

I'm hurting without Otis

I still got the instinct to share the last of my yogurt for him last night :(
When you feel up to it, would you like to share some photos or stories? I don't get around this subforum very often, but I'm sure several of us would like to know what Otis meant to you -- and it might help to share.

Crazy Ferret posted:

Today I had to my cat of 13 years down.



I got Jinx from the ASPCA in Austin my first year there. She saw me through a few career changes, the lowest point in my life, and she was there when I discovered my calling as a teacher and helped me through the hard first year of teaching.



She was a strange cat. I was the only person allowed to touch her head as she would dodge out of the way of everyone else. She could not purr well, instead doing a strange throaty chortle at me. If I was sleeping on my back, she would grab my wrist like a kitten to move my arm out of the way so she could sleep in the nook of my arm. I'd regularly wake up to her face on my shoulder, happily sounding like someone clearing their throat.



gently caress me, I am going to miss my cat.



Thank you for this thread.
I'm very sorry. Jinx seemed to have quite the personality. She obviously loved you very much, and it sounds like you saved each other in different ways. Thank you for providing her a loving home.

WhiteHowler
Apr 3, 2001

I'M HUGE!

Hasselblad posted:

I still revisit this thread, and feel for each and every one of your losses.
Same. I don't reply often anymore, because I think it's better to let the remembrances of lost friends stand on their own, but I read every one of them. Your furry buddies are seen and appreciated.

WhiteHowler
Apr 3, 2001

I'M HUGE!
That was a beautiful tribute to your friend. Thank you for sharing.

WhiteHowler
Apr 3, 2001

I'M HUGE!

nunsexmonkrock posted:

He was the most rear end in a top hat of a kitty, we spent $6k on him when he needed a PU surgery.

But he was also nice and slept on my stomach every night he wasn't laying next to my husband.

I'm really sorry. Please feel free to share more pictures and stories about him if you think it would help. This is a place to help cope and remember and support each other, so share whatever you feel comfortable with.

WhiteHowler
Apr 3, 2001

I'M HUGE!

Nettle Soup posted:

My poor beautiful tiny Sophie
Oh no. I'm so sorry. I'd just recently read the post about Emmy, and... I can't imagine how hard this must have been on top of that.

For what it's worth, this is not your fault. It is impossible to dog-proof the entire world, and we often never think of things that, in retrospect, may seem simple.

Everyone has to grieve in their own way, but I know this one had to be particularly hard. I talked to a therapist after I lost my dog and it helped immensely, so if you're feeling more guilt or trauma than you can handle, that's always an option. Please take care of yourself.

WhiteHowler
Apr 3, 2001

I'M HUGE!

Learguy2015 posted:

Thanks. That's genuinely helpful.

Day three, and not getting easier. I keep breaking down. I'm trying to get some work done, but I am still walking into rooms expecting to hear his collar jingle or see him trot round the corner. I know we are fortunate to have had him in the family as long as we did, and beyond fortunate that he had an easy death at home rather than a mad rush to an emergency vet in the middle of the night. It's still just awful, though.
Knowing you did all the right things for your pet doesn't make the feelings go away. You lost a close family member. It's going to hurt for a while.

You might want to consider talking to a therapist. It helped me a lot -- I could barely function for the first week after Ahboo passed.

For me, the hardest part was seeing constant reminders of my lost companion. His crate, his toys, even the nose marks on my car's windows. If you haven't gotten everything out of sight yet, it may be a good idea. Maybe ask a friend to come over and help? It can make things easier having someone around who knew your dog but isn't feeling the loss as intensely as you.

I'm sorry for your loss. It will get easier, eventually. Don't rush it, but do take steps to help the healing process and take care of yourself and your family.

WhiteHowler
Apr 3, 2001

I'M HUGE!

I brought my Drake posted:

I came home from work yesterday to find her dead on the floor, just outside of her heated bed. Twisted, like she tripped.

I keep blaming myself that she was alone and afraid when she died.

Pixel was 17.

I'm sorry for your loss. :(

It's not your fault. You can't be home all the time, and it's one of the perils of having an older pet. You gave her a loving home and everything she needed.

WhiteHowler
Apr 3, 2001

I'M HUGE!

Exodus1984 posted:

Posting in this subforum for one of the first times, because I am quite sad. Had to put my dog (Cooper) to sleep suddenly on Sunday. More likely than not cancer. Cooper would have been 10 in April, and we had him since he was about 3 months old. A force of nature, Cooper's only fear was the low battery of a smoke alarm. A lover of ice cream, peanut butter, tennis balls, and carrots. Present for countless life events, good and bad, great with my two toddlers, always up for car ride or walk. Smart, playful, and kind with a menacing bark which was the definition of all bark and no bite. The only time he ever became aggressive in his 9 3/4 short years was about 3 months ago when a larger dog approached my daughters, and I was proud of him for it - he loved them so much. He was a good boy.

Above all else, even though it has only been a few days, there are so many things I miss about him: standing in the doorway, sitting on a couch, his nails tapping the floor and his collar jingling as he walks through a room, patting him on the head, and the loud and dramatic sigh he would make when he plopped down next to me at the end of the day after I put the kids to bed. My family is lucky to have had him in our lives. I miss him and always will.
I'm sorry for your loss.

Look at his expression in that photo -- it's obvious he loved you very much, and there's no question he was a very Good Boy.

WhiteHowler
Apr 3, 2001

I'M HUGE!

Top Gun Reference posted:

Sorry for the 5 billion words. I could write 5 billion more. I just wanted to tell his story and scream from the rooftops how much I loved and adored this dog. I’d also like to say that I read every single story in this thread from start to finish. It’s nice to know I’m not alone in these feelings. His passing leaves a gaping hole in my heart, and the world, but I know he had a good life and brought immense joy to me and everyone he met. I love you so much, buddy.

You never need to apologize for using this thread to process and heal. Post five billion more words if you need to.

I too read every word posted here, and many of the stories (including yours) bring back those feelings I had when I lost my last pet. But every time it gets just a little bit easier, and knowing that our stories helps others is valuable.

Radar was a beautiful dog, and I love his fondness for blankets. Seeing that nose poking out made me smile. The memories will make you smile again, when you're ready. Until then, take care of yourself and the others who loved him.

WhiteHowler fucked around with this message at 02:53 on Mar 15, 2023

WhiteHowler
Apr 3, 2001

I'M HUGE!

Almost Smart posted:

I lost my beloved Golden Retriever Sophie this morning, aged 10. She was the best dog and best friend anyone could ask for, and I’ll never understand how someone like me was lucky enough to have her in my life.

I'm really sorry. She sounds like an amazing dog friend.

quote:

I’m sorry if I’m rambling but I’m still just trying to process everything. I knew even with the surgery she was still probably on borrowed time as splenic masses in golden retrievers are usually cancer and usually aggressive ones at that. I just thought I had a little more time. A chance to give her one last ice cream cone, or share a steak with her, or take her for a walk around her favorite lake again… but she’s just gone. All I have are torrents of memories swirling about and I can’t latch onto any single one of them.

Seriously, :justpost:. This thread is for working through all the feelings. You're totally fine to check back in and unload more, or share memories or photos if and when you're ready.

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WhiteHowler
Apr 3, 2001

I'M HUGE!

Away all Goats posted:

Yet I still can't shake the feeling I could have done more y'know? I think about all those times he wanted to play and I turned him down, or walk a little bit longer and we went home, or maybe I got short and yelled at him. And I just feel like I could have done more... It feels like I let him down, even though he never ever let me down.

Is it normal to beat myself up over this? I never got to do so many things with him, like let him swim in the ocean, go to a different country, let him try more foods. Meet more dogs and people. Feels like all I can do is focus on the negatives or the 'what if's rather than appreciate the time we did have. It feels especially worse because I feel like in the later years of his life we settled into a routine of just a regular walk in the neighborhood. No exploring new trails, no travels, ran out of activities I could think of to do with a 95lb dog. And that upsets me, because it makes me think I got complacent and took him for granted- that he was always going to be there. Because for 11 years he was always there. Right by my side. And it felt like it was going to be like that forever. And now he's not.
I'm very sorry for your loss.

The lingering feelings of regret are pretty normal. When I lost Ahboo, all I could think was that I should have walked him more, or petted him more, or not gotten annoyed with him sometimes when he'd come over and whore ask for attention.

But I think of the 14 years we had together, and all the times we DID play or go to the park, the hours and hours of petting him while I watched a dumb TV show with him (he wasn't much for TV, but he'd watch anything with animals, and for some reason, he loved watching basketball). The times, when I knew we were getting late in his life, that I'd sit on the stairs next to his sleepytime spot and just pet him for 20 minutes before going upstairs to bed. I realize that he was happy and fulfilled, and now that I have a new dog, it inspires me to love and care for him that much more -- in honor of Ahboo, not out of regret.

I bet your story is similar. You gave your boy a good home and lots of love. I'm looking at that video of him swimming, and I've rarely seen a dog look so happy.

If it makes you feel any better, while most dogs love exploring new things, they're also creatures of habit and routine. If lazing around the house most nights was your comfy place, it was probably his too. He would have let you know if he had unmet needs.

It's okay to grieve, but don't beat yourself up for the things you didn't/couldn't give him -- think of all the things you did give him, and the times you shared together.

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