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OP, how goes the healing? Just yesterday I had to say goodbye to my constant companion of 16+ years. Working from my home office he was rarely more than a floor away from me, and everywhere I look is a reminder of him. Including the pup bed at the feet of my desk. He had a bout with liver disease a few years ago and he bounced back. This time it was not so kind. Reuben was a puppy up till the day prior when he was lethargic and then had a vicious blood clot in his hind leg. The liver disease was also back with a vengeance and he was in sudden excruciating pain. We were able to take that pain away and say goodbye while we held him. Hopefully Abhoo finds Reuben and they have some good romping.   One of the last trips this summer to his favorite stick fetching place: https://i.imgur.com/DT4V20f.mp4 Hasselblad fucked around with this message at 17:38 on Jan 15, 2020 |
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Jan 15, 2020 17:26
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| # ¿ Apr 19, 2024 09:24 |
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WhiteHowler posted:As for us, we're coping. It gets a little better every day, but it's going to be a long road. Ahboo has a huge presence in our house. My instinct is still to greet him when I come downstairs in the morning, or walk in from the garage after work. I still try to check his non-present water bowl before bed. That'll take a while. It probably will for you too, but it's normal, and you should feel what you feel. I am definitely feeling the sudden hole in our lives. Our other JR (Bacon) is 19, and we fully expected her to go first and were already mentally preparing ourselves for her passing. We dreaded the thought of eventually losing Reuben, but despite him being 16 we thought it would be a ways off still. With the 2 JRs we had a specific way of doing feeding, scheduled bathroom breaks for Bacon (she needs carried outside for her business), certain procedures for filling separate kongs with their individual treats, etc. Yes, we are still checking his water bowl and stuff. Muscle memory in a big way. I fully expect that like with you, it will be a long road. The original plan was to bury the pups at their favorite splashing location (as seen in the video), but it is under a few feet of snow this time of year. As such we opted to have Reuben cremated and will be leaving his ashes there in the late spring when accessible. It's in a national forest where we will not have to worry about him being disturbed beyond the occasional moose and elk. It is where eventually my ashes will be as well. Haven't taken anything yet, but as a precaution my doc gave me a couple day supply of mild medicinals for if I find myself in a really bad way. In the meantime I have taken a dose of CBD, which I occasionally take to help with back pain, and it seems to have helped keep an even keel.I loathe doing more than that, as I owe it to the little guy to mourn him properly. I am sure you feel the same with Ahboo.
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Jan 16, 2020 17:26
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yellowyams posted:I think I must have been in a state of shock. Later that night, I was trying to articulate how I was feeling and realized I was lonely for the first time. I finally broke out wailing and crying. I could finally start to feel a little bit that she wasn't there anymore and she won't be again. The grief comes in waves and it's getting easier to manage over time but I keep thinking about her little head poking through the door when she wanted to come in, or the little notch in her ear, or her body warmth when she would crawl under the covers to snuggle up to me. I keep walking into the room wanting so bad to pet her again even though I know she's gone. It feels like part of my heart has been ripped out. She was the light of my life and my reason for living. I love you Bella, and I miss you so much. Reading this ripped open my tear ducts again. Tomorrow will be a month since the last time I had Reuben sitting on my lap. CBD oil helps to keep me from losing it when I think of him. I can so relate to what you are going through, what with expecting him to come in through the doggy door as if he was just out barking at the UPS truck. Our house literally feels less warm since we let him go. This is some heavy stuff, and part of me feels guilty if I am NOT grieving for him. Pets leave a large vacuum behind for sure. His ashes are temporarily on our dresser, with one of his action-packed pictures in his most favorite place, the place that we will lay him to rest once the snows clear. 
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Feb 12, 2020 04:59
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yellowyams posted:I'm sure you know this but processing your grief and reaching a point where you can move on doesn't lessen the bond you had with him at all. I completely get why you would feel that way since I feel it a little too now that I'm finally starting to work through it, but he will still have had an important place in your life no matter how you adapt. I am getting better about it all, but run to the CBD oil at times. My father passed away over a decade ago, and we shortly afterward moved to the mountains of Utah. I thought the worst grief was past, but every time I saw some amazing scenery I immediately thought how my father would have loved it, and would break down a bit. Similar thing is happening now when we get a beautiful spring-like day, and my mind immediately goes to seeing if Reuben wants to go exploring, then it hits me that he's not here to do that. I really need to get out and walk when those moods hit, because part of me feels he sees the world through my eyes now. Edit: One of Reuben's last pawprints in the snow. 
Hasselblad fucked around with this message at 00:15 on Feb 23, 2020 |
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Feb 22, 2020 23:54
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yellowyams posted:Yesterday was the first day I didn't cry since I found out I would have to say goodbye to her on the 7th. It's been almost 3 weeks since I saw her and it's finally getting easier but part of that scares me. I stand by what I said about how moving on doesn't lessen how much she shaped my life but sometimes it feels like I'm slowly forgetting what she meant to me because it's the only way I can get over it rather than truly processing that she's gone. She was with me for over two thirds of my life, it's difficult for me to even comprehend what life without her means. It still feels kind of like she's just on a trip somewhere. Absolutely feeling this on my end as well.
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Mar 1, 2020 03:50
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Hasselblad posted:OP, how goes the healing? And 2020 is about to take our other pup. Bacon was the older and we expected her to go first, with Reuben to be around to soften the blow. 2020 being 2020, Reuben went first, unexpectedly and soul crushingly. Bacon has had health issues for a while now, and it hasn't been fair to her, allowing her to struggle each day, mostly blind, deaf, both back knees a wreck, mind going, and going to the bathroom without warning. Tomorrow we have a vet coming to the house to help her go peacefully, and in a place familiar to her. In better times... 
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Aug 16, 2020 19:01
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I still revisit this thread, and feel for each and every one of your losses.
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Oct 22, 2020 20:05
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birds posted:
How old is typical for such an awesome birb?
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Nov 24, 2020 23:55
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| # ¿ Apr 19, 2024 09:24 |
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Kazvall posted:Appreciate the reply! I had an insanely realistic dream about him the other night that lasted forever. One of the only times in my life I can recall knowing I was in a dream and wishing to not wake up. My 2 pups taken in 2020 still make appearances in my dreams. We still have a couple of their beds sitting as though waiting for them to come and nap, and the food cupboard still has their food and treats. I am with you bud, I don't think I will be getting new pets for a long time, if ever again. Memories are enough for me.
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Jul 11, 2021 02:26
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