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toplitzin
Jun 13, 2003


Welcome to 2020 friends. As December is a crazy month for most of us, Cook or Die took a short hiatus. Now we find ourselves in a new year and a new decade, and with it come new hopes, dreams, and appetites.

As many of you forum vets know, there is one sandwich like no other. One that had a truly epic journey across every subforum (It was still :metal: AF for the PI mod to kill their own chicken as sacrifice) and then retired.
For years, the it has lurked, watching but not forgotten. Waiting for the moment where it would be posted and consumed again.

Forum Persons of all stripes, I present to you the January 2020 Cook or Die Challenge.

The chicken cheesesteak. aka chicken philly aka
THE CHICKENCHEESE

OP OG Chickencheese, circa Sept 2012.


A sandwich like this demands that you approach it with enthusiasm and respect.



With that in mind, let us descend into the madness.

What's a cheesesteak without a good base of bread to start from. Having said that, guess which dumbass forgot to take pictures of his breadmaking?
Imagine here are a bunch of pictures of dough being made, rising, being shaped, rising again, and then baking to result in some pretty drat good homemade hoagie rolls using the following formula with the improved mix method.



The dough is kneaded and ready to rest:


It's time to prep your veggies.
We have white onions, bell peppers, and for those seeking flavor, we have a choice of poblano, serrano, jalapeno, and some not cubanelle/anaheim pepper we found at the market:


Now that your veggies are chopped and go ahead and chop up your chicken breasts (I sliced it into cutlets, then pounded them a bit, then chopped)
Check your dough, and if it's risen go ahead and make up your rolls.



While proofing round two happens, check in on your assistant:

Hmm... well then, she's not very helpful at the moment, is she?

Rolls are proofed, go ahead and put an eggwash on them and stick them in a 425 degree oven with some steam:


Once the bread comes out, toss it in a rack to cool:


Go ahead and get your veggies going:


ACTIONSHOT
https://i.imgur.com/J8BVuSF.gifv

Keep going:


Good enough:


Now get your chicken out and let gets something other than the color pink on it:

Yep, that's still raw.

Let go ahead and add a little S+P while we cook:

Can you hear the sizzle?

Good enough part 2:


Toss it in a bowl


Get the sides in the oven.
Not seen here, onion rings a rack lower:


Grab those buns hun and do some splits:


Apply butter:


Now, get your diners to assemble their preferred cheese and pepper blend and get ready for GO TIME!


Get your griddle ready:


TEAM CHICKENCHEESE TO THE GRIDDLE:


While we wait for the rest of the group to get to the griddle, ask yourself, is the bread getting a nice color?


I REPEAT. TEAM CHICKENCHEESE TO THE GRIDDLE


Time for the meat and cheese to take a nap and get melty:


aww shiiiii


I present to you, in all her glory.
THE RETURN OF THE CHICKENCHEESE:


Complete plate with fries and onion rings.
Not pictured: IBC Root beer.





As with all cook or die challenges the steaks are the same:

If you post here, you must post your own chickencheese by NOON EDT January 31 or eat a 6 hour probation.

NOW GO FORTH AND SHOW ME HOW YOU CHICKENCHEESE.

toplitzin fucked around with this message at 19:10 on Jan 1, 2020

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Manuel Calavera
Nov 1, 2008


"I have to confess... I never killed anybody."
"Not even a teensy bit of killing?"
"MAYBE I JUST WASN'T TRYING HARD ENOUGH."







My god, it's majestic.

scuz
Aug 29, 2003

You can't be angry ALL the time!






Fun Shoe

The original thread was such a riot, I'M CHICKENCHEESING OR DYING.

scuz
Aug 29, 2003

You can't be angry ALL the time!






Fun Shoe

GET TO CHICKENCHEESEING Y'ALL C'MON

First things first:



Hammerheart Gorm The Old. Mesquite-smoked ale. This is why I forgot to take a buncha pictures and why my head hurts this morning. Wait, it's 1:45PM. Anyway. Put on some cookin' tunes and get started.

|

CASHEWS?!?! Yes, cashews. Soak em and put em in a blender with garlic, tumeric, smoked paprika, and tapioca flour and make "cheese." Put it over there, whatever, it's not sandwich time yet.

|

POTATOES?!?!? Yes, potatoes. Cut em sorta the same cuz knifework isn't your strong suit and you're a couple beers in and just do what Serious Eats tells you but use red wine vinegar instead of white distilled cuz ya know what sometimes you just feel fancy (or ran out of white vinegar).

|

TOFU!?!? Yes, tofu. Freeze it, thaw it, wring it out, cut it into deep-fry-able chunks, massage some SuperBroth* into those suckers and leave it alone. Coat in heavily-seasoned panko and FRY THOSE SUCKERS YEAH this poo poo tastes exactly like fried chicken. YES IT DOES, SHUT UP.

|

Put the mess together and take a tipsy photo of it cuz that Gorm is kicking your fuckin rear end.

toplitzin
Jun 13, 2003


Your I Can't Believe It's Not ChickenCheese looks fantastic and I would happily put it in my face.

I've heard good things about cashew cheese and really need to give it a try.

Liquid Communism
Mar 9, 2004


Out here, everything hurts.




Fun Shoe

Thread stuck, gonna make a chickencheese.

Sending out the alert to the rest of the forums.

The Glumslinger
Sep 24, 2008

Coach Nagy, you want me to throw to WHAT side of the field?




Hair Elf

I'll definitely make one

Ephphatha
Dec 18, 2009

where's my fish





gently caress it, I'm game.

Resting Lich Face
Feb 21, 2019


Cook or Die?? Time to

Fender Anarchist
May 20, 2009

Fender Anarchist



I'm busy this week but I'm absolutely down for some of this

PT6A
Jan 5, 2006
THE VOLKSWAGEN DEFENDER HAS LOGGED ON

I'm gonna do this, but I have to ask what the requirements are. I don't have any good sub-style buns, if I make my chickencheese on a kaiser roll am I good to go or do I have to source some better bread?

scuz
Aug 29, 2003

You can't be angry ALL the time!






Fun Shoe

I made mine with a take-n-bake baguette, no chicken, and no cheese so I think you'll be fine.

toplitzin
Jun 13, 2003


Spirit of the Chickencheese is more important than the technical execution.

I just went hard because of your gonna resurrect something, do it well.

slothrop
Dec 7, 2006

consider your chops: busted




Soiled Meat

Chickencheese:


Mise en place


Please note the juxtaposition of the knives.

The Mac was a recent xmas gift which I will treasure forever. I love that it says “Mighty” on one side, and will always make me think of a Mighty Boy

The crinkle cut “knife” cost like $1.72 and is just a bit of thin corrugated metal with a handle. It’s not even sharp, like you couldn’t break human skin with it.

Lets get preppin’!



Yep, we’re going to sous vide some poo poo!



These were called ‘chicken chops’. No I don’t know what the gently caress either. Bone in, skin on thighs I guess. More flavour than your boring old breast, but you gotta get that bone out.



Vac seal with some sage, because we have sage growing.



Firmly push down with the blunt crinkle cutter and hope for the best.



Check out this triple timer! I never had a kitchen timer before and now I have a 3-in-1! I really like this thing



Sous vide occuring, 45 mins+ at 75 degrees science. Using my patented “tongs will hold the bag in place” method



Chopped up onions and capsicums with a light oiling



This cast iron plate cost me like $20 at aldi and it’s awesome.



Some colour coming in. Move these off to the side for now.



Let’s brown that chicken!



And the buns



A bit of chopping action on the chook



Back onto the griddle with the veg and the cheese



God I love cast iron



Well fukken now what?



That was harder than I thought. I was hoping I could just scoop it all off the griddle with the bun but nope!



Still, looks ok.



A little light entertainment while we eat



And an after dinner libation.

Liquid Communism
Mar 9, 2004


Out here, everything hurts.




Fun Shoe

Gotta get a big grill spatula underneath to pull the 'flip it off the grill on the bun' right.

Good looking chickencheese!

toplitzin
Jun 13, 2003


Checking in 1 week into our January Cook or Die and we have the following breakdown of participants:

In the Has ChickenCheesed group we're 3 people deep:
  • toplitzin - OG ChickenCheese 2020
  • scuz - I Can't Believe It's Not ChickenCheese
  • slothrop - A Better ChickenCheese through modern science!

So far we have the following posters who have not shown us their chickencheese:
  • Liquid Communism
  • Manuel Calavera
  • The Glumslinger
  • Ephphatha
  • Fender Anarchist
And we have Resting Lich Face back and going big again with a Toxx for Chickencheese

scuz
Aug 29, 2003

You can't be angry ALL the time!






Fun Shoe

From the vegan thread:

Carotid posted:

What is the SuperBroth* you used for the tofu?
I forgot to post just what SuperBroth is.

A week prior to the "i can't believe it's not chickencheese" sandwich, I had attempted a from-scratch chickenless nuggets:

scuz posted:

|
Sauteed onions, mushrooms, shallots, garlic, added hot pepper powder, added veggie stock, simmered for like 15 minutes, removed from heat, added ice cubes to cool it off, added the wrung out tofu and let it steep for 20 minutes, poured the whole thing through cheesecloth and wrung it out again, put the whole thing in the Cuisinart and added some vital wheat gluten to bind it together, heated oil to 320, formed wee nuggets, combined panko with paprika, salt, pepper, rolled wee nuggets in panko, fried till brown. Didn't have a recipe, utterly winged it while hammered drunk, turned out a-okay!


SuperBroth is a combination of the stuff that I wrang out of the tofu before the tofu hit the Cuis along with a shot of Annie's vegan worcestershire sauce and Penzeys adobo seasoning.

Manuel Calavera
Nov 1, 2008


"I have to confess... I never killed anybody."
"Not even a teensy bit of killing?"
"MAYBE I JUST WASN'T TRYING HARD ENOUGH."







toplitzin posted:

Checking in 1 week into our January Cook or Die and we have the following breakdown of participants:

In the Has ChickenCheesed group we're 3 people deep:
  • toplitzin - OG ChickenCheese 2020
  • scuz - I Can't Believe It's Not ChickenCheese
  • slothrop - A Better ChickenCheese through modern science!

So far we have the following posters who have not shown us their chickencheese:
  • Liquid Communism
  • Manuel Calavera
  • The Glumslinger
  • Ephphatha
  • Fender Anarchist
And we have Resting Lich Face back and going big again with a Toxx for Chickencheese

Oh god wait that's how it works. Just posting in the thread means I gotta chickchee.

Well I can do it yes. I just need to remember then.

Liquid Communism
Mar 9, 2004


Out here, everything hurts.




Fun Shoe

Welcome... to your DOOM.

Chickeny, cheesy doom.

Manuel Calavera
Nov 1, 2008


"I have to confess... I never killed anybody."
"Not even a teensy bit of killing?"
"MAYBE I JUST WASN'T TRYING HARD ENOUGH."







I mean I ain't complaining. I will do the thing.

PT6A
Jan 5, 2006
THE VOLKSWAGEN DEFENDER HAS LOGGED ON

toplitzin posted:

Checking in 1 week into our January Cook or Die and we have the following breakdown of participants:

In the Has ChickenCheesed group we're 3 people deep:
  • toplitzin - OG ChickenCheese 2020
  • scuz - I Can't Believe It's Not ChickenCheese
  • slothrop - A Better ChickenCheese through modern science!

So far we have the following posters who have not shown us their chickencheese:
  • Liquid Communism
  • Manuel Calavera
  • The Glumslinger
  • Ephphatha
  • Fender Anarchist
And we have Resting Lich Face back and going big again with a Toxx for Chickencheese

Bitch, I have posted in this thread and I have chickencheesed and I will post my photos shortly.

Resting Lich Face
Feb 21, 2019


toplitzin posted:


So far we have the following posters who have not shown us their [quote]chickencheese

Hey baby show us your chicken cheese

*slap*

PT6A
Jan 5, 2006
THE VOLKSWAGEN DEFENDER HAS LOGGED ON

Here it is: PT6A's Jerk Chickencheese

Warning: This may cause an urgent and fiery poo poo the next morning.

So, honestly this is not one of my most energetic efforts, but it's an adaptation of something I cook pretty regularly and I thought it would work nicely for this Cook Or Die.

1. Slice red onion, red pepper and some mushrooms. I used some lovely pre-sliced portobellas which I further cut into chunks because my supermarket was inexplicably out of normal crimini mushrooms and this was the best option.

2. Get some chicken thighs. If they have bones and skin on, remove them. Save the bones for stock, and fry up the skin like bacon with a bit of good seasoning on it. I did not do this, I was lazy, so I bought the skinless boneless chicken thighs. The large collection of chicken thigh bones in my freezer suggests I am much more enthusiastic about the idea of making stock than I am about actually making stock.

Pound the chicken thighs down until they're about a half inch thick, and slice them however you want your chicken. I've used three large thighs here.

3. Combine the veg in one bowl, and put the chicken in another one. Put a big ol' heaped tablespoon of jerk paste in each one and mix around. I used Grace's brand for this. I used to have a friend who would bring me bottles of Matouk's hot jerk paste whenever he went home to visit family, and if you can find that, you should use it instead and also send me a case for giving you such great advice. I don't know if it comes from Trinidad or the US or what the gently caress, but it sure as poo poo isn't in Canada.

4. Grate some good, sharp cheddar cheese. You want a strong flavour here because gently caress knows a mild cheese will taste like nothing compared to the spice.

This all leads to:



5. Get a pan on medium to high heat and put a splash of olive oil in. Throw the veg in and let it soften a bit, maybe 2-3 minutes.

6. Put the chicken in and sautee everything 'til it's good and cooked through. A hint underdone won't kill you though, because....



7. With a few minutes left to go, fire up the broiler and prepare your bread open-faced on some kind of a baking sheet. As earlier noted, I'm being lazy here, so I've got some packaged kaiser rolls. I'm also being lazy by putting this poo poo on parchment because gently caress cleaning baking sheets.

8. Remove all the stuff from your pan into a bowl, let it cool until you can touch it, and scoop it onto the buns. Top with cheese.



9. Put this stuff under the broiler until you realize that you are burning the gently caress out of one bun, then remove. Apparently my broiler is much hotter at the back than the front.



10. Assemble your sandwiches and devour.



If you're cleverer than me, I'd suggest buttering at least the bun which is not covered with chickencheese. But it worked pretty good as is.

PT6A fucked around with this message at 02:42 on Jan 9, 2020

slothrop
Dec 7, 2006

consider your chops: busted




Soiled Meat

κοτόπουλοτυρί

Well, the feedback on last night’s chickencheese was: “really tasty but a little greasy for me”

Tonight I’m attempting to make chickencheese less greasy and more Greece-y

gently caress I’m funny.

But seriously, Greece was a real food revelation for me. There were so many dishes I had tasted before and written off. Finally in front of me, made properly, my god what a difference! Greek Salad that isn’t just boring bullshit. Gyros/Souvlaki that don’t leave you feeling bloated and poo poo afterwards. Even the chips were good.

Part of this is due to the produce I’m sure. I have heard people from the US rave about tomatoes in Australia actually tasting like something. Bullshit. Our tomatoes are garbage compared to Greek tomatoes. Maybe it's just because your tomatoes are racist.

So lets cue Radiorama, and take ourselves back to floating in the pool in Mykonos, dreaming of the Gyros on Syros

To further enhance the mood, some garbage beer that somehow elevates itself in the Greek climate. Also, you know, European beer prices, not Australian beer prices.



Here’s a little mise en place. I have missed things. I have also not photographed this whole process well. Oh well



Make some tzatziki, mostly because your girlfriend is a fiend for this poo poo. I used a recipe from one of those blogs where they ramble on about their holidays and make you scroll through what feels like 6 websites worth of rubbish filler content and irrelevant pictures before you get to the recipe. Don’t you hate it when they do that? Anyways, I’ve included the recipe at the bottom of this post



I forgot to buy dill, so, no dill. But seriously, heres the post I used.

Make the world’s saddest greek salad. It doesn’t even have capers or capsicum and look at that pitiful amount of the wrong cheese on top! FOR SHAME.



Set up the marinade for your ‘gyros’ in a really artsy way with lovely spices contrasting each other. Forget to to take that photo. Jam it all in a bag and do what we did yesterday. Marinade courtesy of this BBC recipe.




A note on the chips, yesterday I tried a hybrid of the Serious Eats method (if it’s good enough for that amazing vegancheese upthread, it’s goddam good enough for my sad efforts) and using an airfryer. The airfryer is a real trial-and-error device for me. Today I took some of the fries that were boiled and ‘par-fried’ before being frozen yesterday.



They turned out pretty ok I think, and I’d probably use this method again. They defrosted and cooked quicker than I thought they might, and crisped up very well. Sorry, thats a garbage photo.

Do a little prep on your onion and tomato. Make a container with some plain flour, oregano, salt and pepper in it. Get the BBQ fired up and go back to the fridge for your Fix! I was lucky enough to spend a few weeks holidaying/eating in the PIGS last year, and it really gave this beer snob a fresh perspective on lovely Euro-spec lagers.



Throw your chook on the BBQ, and once you're happy with a bit of colour on it, throw the pita on there too.




At some point while this is all going, pre-heat your cast iron pan, squeeze a bit of lemon on your saganaki then coat it in the flour/oregano mixture. Also generally forget to take any more photos. Throw the flour-coated saganaki in the pan and make sure it gets good and crispy before you flip it.



Throw the now sliced chook in there too. God-drat look at that crusty cheese!



Get excited about eating, don't take any photos of assembly. You know the drill - pita on the bottom, top with tomato, onion, chips, chicken & cheese. A bit of tzatziki and parsley to garnish.



Eat the poo poo out of it and enjoy! Tonights feedback was significantly better than last night.

Eat This Glob
Jan 14, 2008



Lipstick Apathy

I made a caprese-style chickencheese because I don't think I have ever made a chickencheese, despite enjoying the OG thread. I butterflied a couple of boring chicken breasts, cooked them in a frying pan with a little oil, and finished them in the oven. Before that, I reduced some balsamic vinegar and tossed in some quartered cherry tomatoes and chopped basil. On top of a split whole-grain hoagie roll, I put some fresh (pressed to remove moisture) mozz along with butter and garlic and broiled it until the cheese got a bit melty. On top of the cheese went the boring chicken. In a trench in the top went the caprese-inspired little salad and a bit more vinegar later. It was pretty tasty, though ugly. The breasts are (again) butterflied, so those aren't two big whole pieces of meat. The sandwich was split in half and shared with my wife.



I went with breast meat because my ol' doggo Bridget was recently diagnosed with cancer and has to take a bunch of pills (hospice care, really). I gotta mix the pills up with stuff she'll eat, though I gotta keep it fairly lean. So I chopped up the other meat and mixed in a couple crushed pills along with some light sour cream and a little mozzarella and she ate it up. Her chickencheese wound up being a pile of white inside a blue bowl, so if you thought my food was boring looking, I'll spare you that photo lol. But here's the old girl (on the right), with her littermate brother Hugo last month. They both turned 10 in October.

PT6A
Jan 5, 2006
THE VOLKSWAGEN DEFENDER HAS LOGGED ON


Those are gorgeous doggos, I'm sorry to hear Bridget has cancer. That's how my old shepherd went too

Good job on finding something that will actually disguise a pill for a dog, though. That's a pro-level cooking challenge.

Liquid Communism
Mar 9, 2004


Out here, everything hurts.




Fun Shoe

So the true nature of a chickencheesethread is to travel, and I hear there's playoffs this weekend and a national championship Monday. Chickencheese seems like tailgate food to me, so let's take this show on the road!

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Laser Rocket Arm


Hey TFF, this is a Special NFL Divisional Round and Goons With Spoons Crossover Event

It's a big football weekend. Time to make those hometown favorites for your tailgate: Buffalo Wings, Chili, BBQ, chickencheese.

Yes, chickencheese.

The thread, visiting for the Divisional Weekend will be stickied up here in TFF. If you make a chickencheese, and post the pictures this weekend only in TFF, I'll gift you an avatar change of your choice.

And as a reminder:

toplitzin posted:


If you post here, you must post your own chickencheese by NOON EDT January 31 or eat a 6 hour probation.

iospace
Jan 19, 2038




Fun Shoe

I'm in.

Quiet Feet
Dec 14, 2009

THE HELL IS WITH THIS ASS!?



poo poo, I chicken cheesed like a week before this thread started and now all my effort has gone to waste and I have to do another one! t

Fine, I'm gonna make myself a sandwich this weekend but it's gonna be real half-assed!

Liquid Communism
Mar 9, 2004


Out here, everything hurts.




Fun Shoe

As long as it's a chicken rear end, we're good.

VictualSquid
Feb 29, 2012

Gently enveloping the target with indiscriminate love.


Asking for Sandwiches in winter sounds crazy to me.
But then global warming hit hard.

Normally I buy a chicken to make stock, remove the easy to remove meat, pressure cook the rest. And I was planning on turning the meat into some stirfry or soup meat depending on the weather.
But instead there will be chickencheese.
Those turkish buns are amazingly versatile.
The cheese is Kashkaval, which is a Bulgarian style of boiled cheese. Tastes pretty bad normally, but tastes absolutely amazing when broiled.
The small print says it was made in Germany by a Turkish guy. The old packaging also specified that the milk is from cows both inside and outside of the EU.

Panfry the chicken and the vegs, in shifts. Load it on the buns. Give it a few minutes in the broiler. Then remember that you want to take photos:

Resting Lich Face
Feb 21, 2019


Liquid Communism posted:

So the true nature of a chickencheesethread is to travel, and I hear there's playoffs this weekend and a national championship Monday. Chickencheese seems like tailgate food to me, so let's take this show on the road!

Man this confused the poo poo out of me. Making mine tonight and couldn't find the thread.

So right as I got started I had an idea: Buffalo chickencheese. Hell yeah.


I dont have Frank's Red Hot so experimentation was in order. The magic ratio was 2/3 cholula and 1/3 aardvark. And butter. Duh.


Check out my huge breasts. Too hot for SA.


Buttered and toasted hoagie rolls.


One without cheese for a terribly misguided family member. More cheese for me!


Oh hell yeah.


Not pretty but insanely delicious.

Toxx fulfilled. Stomach filled.

Resting Lich Face fucked around with this message at 00:42 on Jan 11, 2020

Burginator
Sep 10, 2007


I was GOING to make chicken wings






Instead I shall Chicken Cheese.

Liquid Communism
Mar 9, 2004


Out here, everything hurts.




Fun Shoe



Chicken.




Cheese.




Chicken cheese mise. With bonus brandy manhattan.




Bread.




Spices.




Chickencheese.






Still not satisfied.




More chicken. Pounded out, then seasoned.




Pickle juice, red pepper, garlic, mustard seed. We'll come back to you later.

Bob Socko
Feb 20, 2001

Make It Rain


Lipstick Apathy

I’m in, and in fact just got back from my store run for this. Cooking tonight, posting tonight or tomorrow.

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005









Grimey Drawer

in on this

deedee megadoodoo
Sep 28, 2000
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one to Flavortown, and that has made all the difference.




Oven Wrangler

Hell yeah. I’m gonna cheese the gently caress out of some chicken this week.

Bob Socko
Feb 20, 2001

Make It Rain


Lipstick Apathy

oh my god this is so good

pictures and writeup tomorrow, I can barely keep my eyes open to watch the Ravens get clowned

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Abongination
Aug 18, 2010

Life, it's the shit that happens while you're waiting for moments that never come.


Pillbug

I will cook. Or I will die.

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