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Maxwell Lord
Dec 12, 2008

I am drowning.
There is no sign of land.
You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand.

And I hope you die.

I hope we both die.




Grimey Drawer

Payndz posted:

A movie that managed to perfectly emulate the surface appearance of its source material while utterly failing to grasp how and why it worked 30 years earlier. (It was a show very much of its time; it evolved as it went on, arguably being at least three different shows that morphed into each other; its stylistic elements in large part came from budget limitations; and most of all, actor chemistry. Patrick Macnee and Diana Rigg were already charismatic as gently caress individually, and together...)

Mind you, not even the show's creators could recapture the lightning in a bottle just a few years later with The New Avengers. Hell, they couldn't even do it while the original show was still running after Rigg left and was replaced by Linda Thorson.

See, I liked the Tara King episodes, so I suppose for me the allure of the show was as much the whimsical weirdness as the specific chemistry of Macnee and Rigg. I thought the film got that part straight on, to the point where it feels as much a fantasy movie as an action one.

In any case the movie was mostly hurt by thirty goddamn minutes being cut after a bad test screening, the material cut being a lot of stuff that clarified the plot.

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Payndz
Sep 22, 2006

They smelled of pubs, and Wormwood Scrubs, and too many right-wing meetings.

So I twatted them with a magic yo-yo. Because, hell, why not?


Thorson was all right, but after Rigg, "all right" wasn't really enough (and probably contributed to the show's cancellation).

The movie's script is online, and yeah, a ridiculous amount got chopped after the test screening - only serving to make the story even more incomprehensible. The plot went from "things happen for dumb but established reason" to "things happen for no explicable reason whatsoever".

Also, casting Eddie Izzard as a villain and giving him no* dialogue was like that Wolverine movie where Deadpool showed up with his mouth sewed shut.

*Yes, he had one line, but it was only two words long and overdubbed by someone else.

Alan Smithee
Jan 3, 2005


Cooked Auto posted:

To add to that:
https://twitter.com/Nibellion/statu...171731801419781

Someone must be really desperate to spend 30 million for all this.

DCU revisionists

Alan Smithee
Jan 3, 2005


Mierenneuker posted:

Henry Cavill's upper lip is rumored to return for some reshoots.

release the mustache cut!

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017



I haven't seen too many movies with intermissions, how do they handle them in modern ones? Do they say how long the intermission is going to be? I get the impression when intermissions were common audiences would be expected to know how long until the movie resumes, but nowadays I wouldn't expect anyone to be confident they had 5, 10, or 15 minutes.

Snowglobe of Doom
Mar 30, 2012

Because if I tell you, you'll tell your friends, your friends are callin' me on the horn all the time, I gotta show up at shopping centers for openings and sign autographs and shit like that and it makes my life a *hell*. Okay? A living hell.


Fan of Britches

Ghost Leviathan posted:

I haven't seen too many movies with intermissions, how do they handle them in modern ones? Do they say how long the intermission is going to be? I get the impression when intermissions were common audiences would be expected to know how long until the movie resumes, but nowadays I wouldn't expect anyone to be confident they had 5, 10, or 15 minutes.

A local indie cinema in my town often runs several movies a night with a brief intermission in between and they ring a bell to let you know when the intermission is about to end.

BioEnchanted
Aug 9, 2011

He plays for the dreamers that forgot how to dream, and the lovers that forgot how to love.


So it's Vampire Heart?

Davros1
Jul 19, 2007

You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible




Alan Smithee posted:

release the mustache cut!

Should've had facial hair through all the films.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

Gonz
Dec 22, 2009

"Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"


Hopefully he has huge muttonchops in this new cut.

Davros1
Jul 19, 2007

You've got to admit, you are kind of implausible




Gonz posted:

Hopefully he has huge muttonchops in this new cut.

Mutton Chops definitely sounds like a DC villain created in the early 60s.

Alan Smithee
Jan 3, 2005


were the Irish still maligned when DC started

Enos Cabell
Nov 3, 2004




Is it wrong that I was really hoping this was a Twins remake before I saw the text?

CopywrightMMXI
Jun 1, 2011

One time a guy stole some downhill skis out of my jeep and I was so mad I punched a mailbox. I'm against crime, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.


The DC cinematic universe having multiple reboots/reimaginings is the most DC comic book poo poo ever.

Simplex
Jun 29, 2003


Enos Cabell posted:

Is it wrong that I was really hoping this was a Twins remake before I saw the text?

Twins would at least be interesting. This just sounds like The Brothers Grimm.

Punkin Spunkin
Jan 1, 2010

Catching up to god quicker



I didnt know that about Hateful Eight and the guitar but that's a shame, not worth it for a mediocre QT film
Honestly he doesnt do much of anything for me anymore. Even his "classic" films. Let alone stuff like Once Upon a Time, Django, etc which are either just like bad or okay for me
He's got good taste in other people's usually much-better music and movies, and he's got access to a shitload of resources/costuming/power/amazing production value. Once Upon a Time was more of a testament to those two things imo than anything amazing he directed or wrote. It's just another masturbatory male gazey fantasy that would have appealed to me at 13 or 17 but as a grown rear end man QT basically does nothing for me anymore.

Punkin Spunkin
Jan 1, 2010

Catching up to god quicker



And that's not including the weird foot poo poo...just LEAVE it dude. We GET IT.

Alan Smithee
Jan 3, 2005


https://twitter.com/TMZ/status/1263439460718575616?s=20

oh whatever would we have done without him

Detective No. 27
Jun 7, 2006



I'm not really a Michael Bay critic but maybe he should read the room on this one.

Alan Smithee
Jan 3, 2005




Alan Smithee fucked around with this message at 13:39 on May 21, 2020

BioEnchanted
Aug 9, 2011

He plays for the dreamers that forgot how to dream, and the lovers that forgot how to love.

To be fair it's a good time to shoot an apocalyptic movie - no one in the streets to clear out, you don't need to close any roads. As long as the characters and crew stay properly distanced and ppe'd you'd be fine.

Cooked Auto
Aug 4, 2007

If you will not serve in combat, you will serve on the firing line!


It'll be a movie where covid make people randomly explode.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006




Enos Cabell posted:

Is it wrong that I was really hoping this was a Twins remake before I saw the text?

Not sure they're going to make a movie about a dude born a little person as a result of genetically being a piece of poo poo.

Enos Cabell
Nov 3, 2004



Lobok posted:

Not sure they're going to make a movie about a dude born a little person as a result of genetically being a piece of poo poo.

Swap the roles, have Momoa be a loser and Dinklage can be the suave, successful ladies man.

Regretful Humming
Apr 27, 2015


Enos Cabell posted:

Swap the roles, have Momoa be a loser and Dinklage can be the suave, successful ladies man.

The great thing about this idea is that it would still be believable.

ruddiger
Jun 3, 2004

Crook County

Detective No. 27 posted:

I'm not really a Michael Bay critic but maybe he should read the room on this one.

Itís gonna be a vicious indictment on the conservative powers that be and the mob of sycophants that enable them, itís going to be awesome, I canít wait to watch it in a theater full of corpses like Heston does in Omega Man.

Snowglobe of Doom
Mar 30, 2012

Because if I tell you, you'll tell your friends, your friends are callin' me on the horn all the time, I gotta show up at shopping centers for openings and sign autographs and shit like that and it makes my life a *hell*. Okay? A living hell.


Fan of Britches

BioEnchanted posted:

To be fair it's a good time to shoot an apocalyptic movie - no one in the streets to clear out, you don't need to close any roads. As long as the characters and crew stay properly distanced and ppe'd you'd be fine.

I guess it'll be a race to get filming done before LA opens back up too much. Every US state has already re-opened to some degree, some a lot more than others.

Or maybe he's banking on everything closing down again in a month or so when the second wave slams the entire country?

BioEnchanted
Aug 9, 2011

He plays for the dreamers that forgot how to dream, and the lovers that forgot how to love.

Eli Roth will need to at least update his catchphrase to "Ooh, Masked!"

ALFbrot
Apr 17, 2002


I am going to watch the Snyder Cut, and then I am finally going to watch the original release

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003


Yams Fan

ALFbrot posted:

I am going to watch the Snyder Cut, and then I am finally going to watch the original release

You should call the suicide prevention hotline now if you're thinking like that

AceOfFlames
Oct 9, 2012


ruddiger posted:

It’s gonna be a vicious indictment on the conservative powers that be and the mob of sycophants that enable them, it’s going to be awesome, I can’t wait to watch it in a theater full of corpses like Heston does in Omega Man.

Are you being sarcastic or do you honestly believe the man behind 13 Hours and an untold number of Pentagon Porn is going to do this?

Iron Crowned posted:

You should call the suicide prevention hotline now if you're thinking like that

Its only natural that during quarantine people movie choices closely resembles "stuck in airplane". Hell, I actually had the occasional urge to rewatch Gods of Egypt these last few weeks.

AceOfFlames fucked around with this message at 16:46 on May 21, 2020

SuperMechagodzilla
Jun 9, 2007

NEWT REBORN


AceOfFlames posted:

Are you being sarcastic or do you honestly believe the man behind 13 Hours and an untold number of Pentagon Porn is going to do this?

13 Hours is an brutal takedown of American foreign policy.

Its thesis is basically that the CIA was hosed from the beginning because they holed up in a luxury compound, isolating themselves from the people they were supposedly there to help. So when poo poo hit the fan, there was nobody there to help them despite the fact that they were surrounded by potential allies.

The REAL Goobusters
Apr 25, 2008



https://twitter.com/BDisgusting/sta...509648663023616

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmm

got any sevens
Feb 9, 2013

Only the smallest QB can ascend.



AceOfFlames posted:

Are you being sarcastic or do you honestly believe the man behind 13 Hours and an untold number of Pentagon Porn is going to do this?


Its only natural that during quarantine people movie choices closely resembles "stuck in airplane". Hell, I actually had the occasional urge to rewatch Gods of Egypt these last few weeks.

Gods of Egypt freakin owns, i got the blueray

Simplex posted:

Twins would at least be interesting. This just sounds like The Brothers Grimm.

I also dug that film too, real great imagery

Srice
Sep 11, 2011



If the Snyder cut ushers in a flood of director's cuts then frankly that'd be badass as hell.

aware of dog
Nov 14, 2016


Srice posted:

If the Snyder cut ushers in a flood of director's cuts then frankly that'd be badass as hell.

Finally weíll get the Tom Bombadil cut of LOTR

Mierenneuker
Apr 28, 2010




You know, if we continue going down this road it will eventually lead us to the 3 1/2 hours long cut of Mission: Impossible 2. So I think it's worth it.

Policenaut
Jul 11, 2008

On the moon... they don't make Neo Kobe Pizza.



Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair freed for real.

FlamingLiberal
Jan 18, 2009

Would you like to play a game?



Thatís a big Ďnopeí for me

ALFbrot
Apr 17, 2002


Iron Crowned posted:

You should call the suicide prevention hotline now if you're thinking like that

I mean, not, like, back to back. That's madness.

I just mean that I think most of those interested in the Snyder Cut have already seen the Whedon version. I have not, and I think it'll be fascinating to see them in this order.

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Byzantine
Sep 1, 2007



got any sevens posted:

Gods of Egypt freakin owns, i got the blueray

Hell yeah.

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