- PHIZ KALIFA
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#mood
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personally when confronted with a mysterious black disk held in a demon's mouth, i would remove that portion of wall with my bulldozer. likewise, the collapsing ceiling trap would be trivial to escape from using just the bucket on my bulldozer. "im sorry, acerack" i would mutter "i keep loving up your traps with my rad-rear end bulldozer."
it has never been explored in game, but i believe we can take it as writ, that gelatenous cubes cannot defeat a bulldozer. personally i would love to have a room full of gelatenous cubes, and i am running over them with my bulldozer, tokyo drifting around the room on the slickness of the no-longer-cubes. i would continually shout "woo!" while doing this.
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Jan 2, 2020 15:29
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- Adbot
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Apr 25, 2024 21:53
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- nut
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amulet of G'par aglow, Hershel the aloof druid elf mage half barbarian gently rests her upper back against the brick wall,
"I'm on smoko, so leave me alone"
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Jan 2, 2020 16:15
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- vanisher
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The barbarian rolls onto the dais, his front end loaders diesel engine roars to confront the challenge. Just behind the thiefs bobcat dodges this way and that, looking to gain an advantadge on his foe.
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Jan 2, 2020 16:25
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- vanisher
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Deep in the cave a deep red light glows. The party rests before the battle, the mage nervously checks his tire pressure.
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Jan 2, 2020 16:36
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- wearing a lampshade
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lol
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Jan 2, 2020 16:46
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- wearing a lampshade
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killdozer but he's just doing a let's play
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Jan 2, 2020 16:46
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- vanisher
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Flames lick the cave walls. The shadow of the dragons excavator looms larger than life.
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Jan 2, 2020 16:50
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- nut
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Flames lick the cave walls. The shadow of the dragons excavator looms larger than life.
lmbo
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Jan 2, 2020 16:50
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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the halfling thief tries to back up and rejoin his party who eagerly await his scouting report, he holds his breath and slowly and quietly shifts his massive d9 caterpillar into reverse and backs up the hallway in hopes that his move silently skills will not alert the monsters...
*BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP*
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Jan 2, 2020 17:05
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- wearing a lampshade
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Farmer joins the party. He has a thresher equipped. He cares about when the corn comes in and he dislikes harvesting the corn too late. He speaks elvish.
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Jan 2, 2020 17:09
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- nut
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Farmer joins the party. He has a thresher equipped. He cares about when the corn comes in and he dislikes harvesting the corn too late. He speaks elvish.
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Jan 2, 2020 17:27
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- nut
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i cast presto!digawaytion
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Jan 2, 2020 17:30
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- Manifisto
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"we're doomed!" screamed thorbeef stabbington, the 20th level fighter. "the walls continue to close in on us, and the only exit is blocked by these pits lined with poison spikes. though we are surrounded by mounds of dirt and gravel, it is beyond even my 18/00 strength to push them into the pits in time."
"my spells are useless in this lich's lair," sobbed st. thomas praygood, the 21st level cleric. "the unholy energy in this place prevents me from curing the lightest of wounds, let alone delivering us from this predicament."
"alas, my material components are all spent" intoned clancy fancymancer, the 18th level magic user. "had we but a pinch of powdered hemlock and a measly newt eye or two, I could cast bigby's pushy hand to fill these accursed chasms, allowing us to escape."
all eyes turned to stealy mcstealerson, the gangly 6th level thief whose presence in the party had brought such bitter resentment. against all odds, a smile crossed his twisted countenance as he drew the bag of holding from beneath his tattered cloak. from the bulging sack drifted a low rumble and a whiff of diesel fumes.
ty nesamdoom!
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Jan 2, 2020 17:54
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- vanisher
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lol
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Jan 2, 2020 17:58
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- nut
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DM: The dragon is closing in *rolls 2 d100s* flying another 120 ft, gaining on your lowly party. What will you do?
Yvonne Deere, the mechromancer: I pull onto the shoulder, deftly leaning out the drivers side window as I scream, "GO AROUND, THIS IS AS FAST AS WE CAN GO"
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Jan 2, 2020 18:01
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- Barking Gecko
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Mahoro says, "Naughty things are bad."
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Our party confronts the final boss on the lowest level of the dungeon.
We gasp in surprise as we see naught but a seemingly ordinary man, carrying a clipboard, and wearing a hard hat.
Suddenly, Elweird the elven fighter / magic user cries out, "Look at the logo on his hat. OSHA! He's an OSHA inspector!"
Our bulldozers and heavy equipment grind to a halt.
Our cleric, St. Eustace the Wavering casts equip PPE* on the party, and the fight is on.
* Proper Protective Equipment
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Jan 2, 2020 18:26
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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on this season of gold rush parker schnabel has purchased a new plot of land, s1 which he and his team have nicknamed "the tomb of horrors"
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Jan 2, 2020 19:06
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- cda
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by Hand Knit
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lol i havent even read the thread yet but the title is amazing
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Jan 2, 2020 19:53
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- cda
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by Hand Knit
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personally when confronted with a mysterious black disk held in a demon's mouth, i would remove that portion of wall with my bulldozer. likewise, the collapsing ceiling trap would be trivial to escape from using just the bucket on my bulldozer. "im sorry, acerack" i would mutter "i keep loving up your traps with my rad-rear end bulldozer."
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Jan 2, 2020 19:53
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- cda
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by Hand Knit
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You approach the Cave of Dark Mysteries. Deep inside the Stygian bowels of this maze of lightless tunnels lies the Chalice of Magnar, your only hope of defeating the Lich Lord. No, the opening of the cave is not wide enough for a bulldozer to fit. No, you can't dig. I already told you: the whole mountain is made of iron. Ok, well I guess the adventure is over. The Lich Lord wins. No, you can't take a Ziploc bag of Doritos with you. Get the gently caress out.
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Jan 2, 2020 20:20
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- PHIZ KALIFA
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#mood
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plowing through that one portion where it's four small square rooms connected by doors that open contrary to the placement of their knobs (one swings upwards, the other swings downward, so on) i would demolish those with my bulldozer and find myself standing in Acerack's lair. A jeweled skull sits on the throne atop a raised dias, and with a twinkle from a single eye, he disintegrates my rad-rear end bulldozer, leaving me armed with nothing but a Huge Sword of Litchfuckery.
crimes
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Jan 2, 2020 20:41
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- cda
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by Hand Knit
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plowing through that one portion where it's four small square rooms connected by doors that open contrary to the placement of their knobs (one swings upwards, the other swings downward, so on) i would demolish those with my bulldozer and find myself standing in Acerack's lair. A jeweled skull sits on the throne atop a raised dias, and with a twinkle from a single eye, he disintegrates my rad-rear end bulldozer, leaving me armed with nothing but a Huge Sword of Litchfuckery.
Throwing caution to the winds, you run away from Acerack and get a payday loan to buy a new bulldozer.
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Jan 2, 2020 21:13
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- google THIS
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Me: I turn undead--
DM: You can't cast Turn Undead, because the wards on this room prevent any--
Me: Um, please let me finish. I turn undead into mulch using my rig's 56" forestry mulching attachment.
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Jan 2, 2020 21:18
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- Luvcow
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One day nearer spring
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Me: I turn undead--
DM: You can't cast Turn Undead, because the wards on this room prevent any--
Me: Um, please let me finish. I turn undead into mulch using my rig's 56" forestry mulching attachment.
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Jan 2, 2020 21:22
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- wearing a lampshade
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Me: I turn undead--
DM: You can't cast Turn Undead, because the wards on this room prevent any--
Me: Um, please let me finish. I turn undead into mulch using my rig's 56" forestry mulching attachment.
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Jan 2, 2020 21:36
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- PHIZ KALIFA
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#mood
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three halflings just plowing through wave after wave of kobolds with a souped up Ventrac Sidewalk Snow Eliminator just caked in gore. their suicide run suddenly wildly successful beyond any of their imaginings, the sudden prospect of having to live after unleashing a Genocide Machine upon an army of chittering fools galls them, their conscience grows heavier with each meaty THUNK as mithril blades tear through rat-eaten leather studs.
The mouth of the cave looms before them ever taller, a glowing mouth leading to what, judgement? praise, for having transformed a culture into soup? which could possibly be worse?
crimes
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Jan 2, 2020 21:44
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- pixaal
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All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.
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In this game of Dungeons and Dozers we cast a spell activated by touch on one of the dozers and ram a castle!
Who will win? Castle or dozer?
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Jan 3, 2020 00:26
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- PHIZ KALIFA
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#mood
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swallowed by a Deere Dragon, busting open its stomach with my Portable Crane
crimes
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Jan 3, 2020 00:36
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- google THIS
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Me: I summon my familiar, stomp on the gas, and barrel through the enemy ranks with 1,500 horsepower of raw fury.
DM: Uh, I thought you said your familiar was a cat?
Me: It is.
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Jan 3, 2020 00:46
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Apr 25, 2024 21:53
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Jan 2, 2020 15:29
