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isaboo
Nov 10, 2002

I can destroy you


precision posted:

I just wanna know why he called her Stella


Epilogue

Whatever happened to our cast of characters? Well....

As for Crazy Leo, I finally found out who Stella was. Leo got married to his highschool sweetheart Stella when he was around 19 or 20 right before he headed off to the Korean War. She died while he was away and it just wrecked the poor guy. Michelle reminded him of her and he just latched on to Viper while he drank himself crazy. He died sometime in the early 2000s.

TayTay disappeared completely almost immediately after all of the drama and no one that I stayed in touch with had any idea where he might have gone. He's probably in a shack somewhere eating squirrels and making clothes out of their pelts. Or maybe he's a big player in the Scientology cult.

I never saw or heard from Viper again. Apparently she continued to work in bars but only as a bartender or waitress. After that the story I was told is that she eventually found herself in federal prison for fraud or something similar. I'm pretty sure she's out by now but I have no clue where she might be.

As for me, Beets, I bounced (ha!) around from city to city working in music venues and clubs. I eventually made my way out to California and began working in Executive Protection / Bodyguarding and met a lot of interesting people. But those stories are for another thread.



DeadFatDuckFat posted:

Jesus loving christ

Were you scared shitless when you hit her with the car?

Yeah. I didn't know if I had hit ran over her torso or head.

Alan Smithee posted:

drat she couldn't even get the tenets of scientology right

xenu is the bad guy

Or maybe she did know and wanted to birth an evil god.

I honestly never looked into it that much. I just knew Xenu was figured prominently in the cult and was some kind of galactic emperor that blew up a volcano tens of millions of years ago blah blah blah

isaboo fucked around with this message at 07:23 on Jan 13, 2020

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isaboo
Nov 10, 2002

I can destroy you


e: goddammit hosed up a quote

precision
May 7, 2006

Gonna have me some good friends around
Gonna have me some good times in town




3pac was the best part

I've dated a couple strippers (in the same general area as this story takes place, I believe) and so I definitely relate to crazy times at Tha Club

isaboo
Nov 10, 2002

I can destroy you


Rabite posted:

I like that the boobs are above the arms

This has been said a couple of times and all I will say is this

There are some bad titty enhancement doctors out there

Working in strip clubs I've seen all kinds of botched boob jobs.. one nipple looking off into space while the other was straight on, one titty higher than the other, etc. The dominant body side plays a part too I think. A porn star I was tangled up with for a while told me the reason her left titty was firmer and out of place compared to her right bazonga was because she was left handed.

Viper's tits were great. I obviously can't draw worth a poo poo and I'm too lazy to fix the pictures

limaCAT
Dec 22, 2007

il pistone e male


Slippery Tilde

Goldmine

Chikimiki
May 14, 2009


Enjoyed the read, OP. Maybe I'm being naive, but what are the odds that the whole Xenu-fake-pregnancy was them pulling a "hilarious" long-term prank on you?

Xarbala
Feb 13, 2011

Rolling Thunder: War to the Knife, Knife to the Hilt

Why? , that's why.



Imo that'd be sadder than if she was genuinely that disturbed

Xarbala
Feb 13, 2011

Rolling Thunder: War to the Knife, Knife to the Hilt

Why? , that's why.



Actually maybe not, but it'd make the dark comedy of the situation even more absurd

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


So when does the strange manga adaptation comes out? There are whole groups of weird perverts reaching deep into their wallets!

adamarama
Mar 20, 2009


Great story, would love to have a pint with Tay Tay and Crazy Leo. What did Johnny law think about you running over a stripper?

itry
Aug 23, 2019






Kinda feel sorry for Viper.

You should sell the story to some studio so they can make a comedy crime drama out of it. I'm thinking something in the vein of In Bruges.

Xarbala
Feb 13, 2011

Rolling Thunder: War to the Knife, Knife to the Hilt

Why? , that's why.



itry posted:

Kinda feel sorry for Viper.

Same

but, well, can't really blame OP for getting the heck out

precision
May 7, 2006

Gonna have me some good friends around
Gonna have me some good times in town




itry posted:

Kinda feel sorry for Viper.

You should sell the story to some studio so they can make a comedy crime drama out of it. I'm thinking something in the vein of In Bruges.

No way. David Miscavige would have him thrown in the same pit as Shelley Miscavage's corpse

Edit: ALLEGEDLY please don't kill me scientology

precision fucked around with this message at 10:54 on Jan 13, 2020

Devol_Tettran
Sep 3, 2011



Clever Betty

limaCAT posted:

Goldmine

This

oh dope
Nov 2, 2006

No guilt, it feeds in plain sight


This is some Coen Brothers league stuff. 5d

Cough Drop The Beat
Jan 22, 2012

It's your HPV, Veronica. I'm just carrying it.

This new season of Fargo sounds really good.

Piggy Smalls
Jun 21, 2015



Iím surprised the stripper didnít sue you for running over her leg.

Hackers film 1995
Nov 4, 2009

Hack the planet!


im pretty sure its a crime to run over someone with your car and probably worse to drive away never to be seen again but im no lawyer

Blue Moonlight
Apr 28, 2005
Bitter and Sarcastic

Piggy Smalls posted:

Iím surprised the stripper didnít sue you for running over her leg.

The pain was just Thetans leaving her body.

gey muckle mowser
Aug 5, 2003

Do you know anything about...
witches?





Buglord

Hackers film 1995 posted:

im pretty sure its a crime to run over someone with your car and probably worse to drive away never to be seen again but im no lawyer

he didn't drive away though, he stayed and gave a statement to the police

Hackers film 1995
Nov 4, 2009

Hack the planet!


oh. i missed that part. my bad

yr new gurlfrand!
Aug 9, 2006

BLACK ASS MOMMA
WHITE ASS DADDY


Cough Drop The Beat posted:

This new season of Fargo sounds really good.

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number

Pillbug

Piggy Smalls posted:

Iím surprised the stripper didnít sue you for running over her leg.

Yeah I'm kinda surprised about this too. Could you give more details on the legal aspect of the scenario OP? Cops just showed up and were like "eh, poo poo happens" after you maimed someone with your car? It feels like even if it's an accident you'd still be at the bare minimum, civilly liable. Did they chalk it up to self defense or something cause she had been beating on your car?

Piggy Smalls
Jun 21, 2015



ArbitraryC posted:

Yeah I'm kinda surprised about this too. Could you give more details on the legal aspect of the scenario OP? Cops just showed up and were like "eh, poo poo happens" after you maimed someone with your car? It feels like even if it's an accident you'd still be at the bare minimum, civilly liable. Did they chalk it up to self defense or something cause she had been beating on your car?

This

isaboo
Nov 10, 2002

I can destroy you


The cops weren't too concerned with me being at fault. There were at least 6 or 7 witnesses that all saw the same thing; she was the aggressor, she had a weapon, and she had already done damage to my property.
Viper wasn't exactly unknown by the police. I know she had gotten one DUI the time we were together, and some time before we met she was charged with damage to property for a tire slashing incident. Everyone in town that hung out in or had contact with our circle of strippers and drunks and general craziness knew who she was, including cops. Also she was pretty noticeably high on something. I'm sure any sort of toxic substance screen would have just shown more evidence that she was not of right mind when it all went down.

I explained that I was literally on my way out of town because of her when it all happened and I gave them my parents' contact information in case they needed to reach me. I never heard from them and nothing insurance related ever came up.

precision
May 7, 2006

Gonna have me some good friends around
Gonna have me some good times in town




Yeah I mean if someone is viciously attacking you and/or your property and that results in them being hurt, well, that's kinda on them, legally

EVERY TIME GOING
Mar 17, 2006



Too many limbs for that nickname anyway

Edgar
Sep 9, 2005

Oh my heck!
Oh heavens!
Oh my lord!
OH Sweet meats!

Wedge Regret

Thanks for sharing. Makes me glad I didn't have to deal with this amount of crazy.

Cannon_Fodder
Jul 17, 2007

"Hey, where did Steve go?"
Design by Kamoc

FailedOrganics101 posted:

Too many limbs for that nickname anyway

Piggy Smalls
Jun 21, 2015



I want to date a stripper now.

Dollas
Sep 16, 2007

$$$$$$$$$


Clapping Larry

this reads like an old bruiser thread kinda

i like it

canyoneer
Sep 13, 2005


I only have canyoneyes for you


Piggy Smalls posted:

I want to date a stripper now.

have you already joined the army?

Dreddout
Oct 1, 2015

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.


limaCAT posted:

Goldmine

Play
Apr 25, 2006

So I roll with a rolling thunder
And I howl with the howling wind
And I drift downstream for as long as it takes
To get up and around the bend

Chikimiki posted:

Enjoyed the read, OP. Maybe I'm being naive, but what are the odds that the whole Xenu-fake-pregnancy was them pulling a "hilarious" long-term prank on you?

at that point, it really didn't matter what was going on. A prank would be just as stupid and weird as actually believing you're carrying the reincarnation of zenu

zhar
May 3, 2019



The forums need more threads like this. 5

EVERY TIME GOING
Mar 17, 2006



The half-conscious Viper is laying contorted over the blood-speckled curb, her mangled ankle obscured by the front of OP's car. Slowly her pained expression begins to morph into a perverse grin, followed by a guttural laugh that's a couple octaves lower. To OP's now flourishing distress, Viper begins making clawing motions targeting her face and hair. Her scalp flesh stretches and tears, but instead of gore underneath it's strands of black spiky hair that begin to peek out. She continues laughing in a voice that's now clearly male while pulling down the entirety of the rubbery faux-skin that once was her face. OP cannot believe that this person who was the source of his affection and anguish this time is actually Chris Angel. One by one the people in the parking lot begin to tear off their rubber masks, revealing the same staring grinning face of Chris Angel. The car pinning Chris Angel shudders and begins to levitate into the air, followed by all the Chris Angels themselves including other cars and the club itself. Higher and higher, the Chris' still grinning down at OP before becoming indiscernible grey dots in the sky and OP is left standing alone in the middle of an empty parking lot.

Defiance Industries
Jul 22, 2010

A five-star manufacturer





I read this all in one setting and this was a loving whirlwind trip, OP.

isaboo
Nov 10, 2002

I can destroy you


Thanks everyone for the kind comments and questions. I generally only post in the sardine thread and in TVIV so this was a step out of bounds for me but it was fun sharing the story with you. I have more tales to tell I just have to think how I want to tell them.

A couple people mentioned that ridiculous threads like this one is why they joined and it's the same reason I joined SA forever ago. The GBS mods have asked for more new threads and I know there are people here that have led more interesting lives than I have so those people need to speak up.

The bar is obviously pretty low if my terrible awkward writing style and bad art skills can produce a fun thread so don't be afraid. Even if it isn't wacky or nutty like this one, everyone has a story to tell. Go hog wild, write a bunch of words on the internet and

Obsidianheart
Apr 25, 2017

Throwing off the shadow of a better man.

pahuyuth posted:

Go hog wild, write a bunch of words on the internet and
Aw, man, the 5'd thread has homework.

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squirrelzipper
Nov 2, 2011



pahuyuth posted:

I generally only post in the sardine thread

By this I know you can do no wrong.

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