DISGUSTING! Human Feces Incidents on the rise in San Francisco

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > DISGUSTING! Human Feces Incidents on the rise in San Francisco

«‹›6 »

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

I just had a flashback

# ? Jan 13, 2020 03:26

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 19, 2024 20:39

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

Or was it a dream I had about writing a huge post on these forums about me lusting to drop a huge deuce in the supermarket.

I cant recall it's all a haze

# ? Jan 13, 2020 03:27

Stex T: Mar 7, 2005; Shut the fuck up and get out. Have fun being a slave of the rich and powerful.

I like this thread because it is about poop and all GBS threads should be about poop

# ? Jan 13, 2020 04:06

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

Floodixor posted:

Sorry, lots of words but it's something I care about and was right in the middle of for a period of years (and was also, later on, homeless myself in Denver for a few months):

I lived in San Francisco from 2007 - 2015 and my first 7 years I lived basically at 16th and Mission, which was one of the busiest transit hubs in SF and also considered, at the time, one of the diciest parts of town. I'll never forget the day I moved there with two duffel bags in my hands, looking upwards on the escalator from the BART station (it's San Francisco's subway system, basically) and slowly seeing, emerging at elevator speed, first a giant swath of blue sky, and then palm tree fronds gently swaying in the wind, and then the smell of urine and pot smoke as I surfaced into the main plaza there. It's a smell that I haven't really smelled again, not exactly, anywhere else and I miss it terribly.
, as well as the not well-meaning chaos on living on the street later on in life, but this post is already absurdly long and bloated and I'm sorry for that. I just haven't thought about it in a while and this thread sort of pulled that stuff to the surface. I appreciate if any of you goons read this garbage heap of nouns.

yeah that's about right, thanks for posting. i grew up in the bay area and I work in SF itself near montgomery since 2012. i admit we didn't go a whole lot when i was younger but a few times here and there, and later as a college student on break or weekend and yeah it's changed dramatically. The change from 2008 to 2011 was such a massive and transformative difference in a mere 3 years; and 2012 to 2015 was almost as big of a change. It's just continuously slide to poo poo where 2020 sf is so so much worse every passing year. there was always homeless problems but the order of magnitude these days seems to double every year.

I miss pre-2008 days, there was a genuine community that managed to somehow avoid the 'big city crab-bucketing smash ur fellow poor' mentality that often manifests, with lots of talented people just making a living and contributing back and making it homely; lots of small shops, a sort of grungy-but-functional-and-beloved feel to it, and renting hadn't yet turned into an expensive thunderdome. every single lesbian bar has closed up, lots of cheap and affordable bars have gone out,and the lgtbq community is a pale shadow. it's full on crab-bucket deathzone with just insane inequality. Oakland was the 'cool place' to be after post-2011 sf poo poo itself, but it has taken the same trajectory after everyone like that was displaced out there--now it itself is too expensive and same issue.

last time i was at el farrolito, there was 50 minute line of tourists n white people waving around their $5,000 nikon cameras aggresively sticking it over the counter and in the faces of the hispanic min-wage peons slaving over hot stoves.

for the price of the $4 trillion f-35 program that makes a garbage plane that can't even fly in the rain, we could immediately solve the problem but nope :911:

Xaris fucked around with this message at 04:28 on Jan 13, 2020

# ? Jan 13, 2020 04:22

Floodixor: Aug 22, 2003; Forums Electronic MusiciaBRRRIIINGYIPYIPYIPYIP

Captain Beans posted:

Dude please post as many stories as you can recall. thanks for sharing, and your writing style is a pleasure to read. I�m sure others appreciate it as well.

Aw sick thanks man, I've been thinking about maybe making a thread like that in GBS but I worry that it's too old-school GBS and won't fit in. Like I've been on these forums since I was 15 (I borrowed my mom's credit card! I'm sorry!!!) and now I'm 39, so I remember all the eras.

edit: except the ones where I was blacked out of course, har har

# ? Jan 13, 2020 04:36

Floodixor: Aug 22, 2003; Forums Electronic MusiciaBRRRIIINGYIPYIPYIPYIP

Xaris posted:

yeah that's about right, thanks for posting.

hell yeah, thanks for reading!

Xaris posted:

I miss pre-2008 days, there was a genuine community that managed to somehow avoid the 'big city crab-bucketing smash ur fellow poor' mentality that often manifests, with lots of talented people just making a living and contributing back and making it homely; lots of small shops, a sort of grungy-but-functional-and-beloved feel to it, and renting hadn't yet turned into an expensive thunderdome. every single lesbian bar has closed up, lots of cheap and affordable bars have gone out,and the lgtbq community is a pale shadow. it's full on crab-bucket deathzone with just insane inequality. Oakland was the 'cool place' to be after post-2011 sf poo poo itself, but it has taken the same trajectory after everyone like that was displaced out there--now it itself is too expensive and same issue.

yeah exactly. And also to the other ski town person who posted in this thread, too. The whole process felt so personal to me because it was all around me all of the time until one day it wasn't, but I know that tons more people have the same unfortunate experience.

And I say this as just a white dude, so while I'm complaining about a culture getting booted out the door of their own city, I'm not even IN that culture itself. I can't imagine how much worse that feels. Like I have anything to complain about at all.

# ? Jan 13, 2020 04:40

Cubone: May 26, 2011; Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

# ? Jan 13, 2020 04:45

Tumble: Jun 24, 2003; I'm not thinking of anything!

One time in SF I was walking down through the outskirts of the Tenderloin to go to Taqueria Cancun, (which is The Best Burrito In SF) and I was just kinda minding my own business with my earbuds in so that I could avoid having to say no to everybody that asked me for money. All of a sudden this homeless dude grabs me by my arm. I jumped back and quickly took my earbuds out, not quite sure what this dude wants.

He pointed at the ground. "YO DUDE DON'T STEP THERE THAT IS POOP!" I looked down and sure as poo poo it was a big pile of turd.

I gave him $5 for saving my shoes.

Later on I told this story to somebody and they said it was probably his poop and that's just how he makes money. I figure that's a pretty good way to make so if that is the case I'm happy to have contributed to his business.

# ? Jan 13, 2020 04:58

Private Cumshoe: Feb 15, 2019; AAAAAAAGAGHAAHGGAH

Tumble posted:

One time in SF I was walking down through the outskirts of the Tenderloin to go to Taqueria Cancun, (which is The Best Burrito In SF) and I was just kinda minding my own business with my earbuds in so that I could avoid having to say no to everybody that asked me for money. All of a sudden this homeless dude grabs me by my arm. I jumped back and quickly took my earbuds out, not quite sure what this dude wants.

He pointed at the ground. "YO DUDE DON'T STEP THERE THAT IS POOP!" I looked down and sure as poo poo it was a big pile of turd.

I gave him $5 for saving my shoes.

Later on I told this story to somebody and they said it was probably his poop and that's just how he makes money. I figure that's a pretty good way to make so if that is the case I'm happy to have contributed to his business.

Crapitalism works

# ? Jan 13, 2020 05:14

Solus M.D.: Oct 17, 2007; what did i just post?

the only time i was in San Francisco i was on a business trip a few years ago on my birthday and i was walking back to my hotel that night and a homeless guy stopped me at the corner, looked me in the eye, and said �i hope you loving die�

# ? Jan 13, 2020 05:43

Zachack: Jun 1, 2000

Xaris posted:

I miss pre-2008 days, there was a genuine community that managed to somehow avoid the 'big city crab-bucketing smash ur fellow poor' mentality that often manifests, with lots of talented people just making a living and contributing back and making it homely; lots of small shops, a sort of grungy-but-functional-and-beloved feel to it, and renting hadn't yet turned into an expensive thunderdome. every single lesbian bar has closed up, lots of cheap and affordable bars have gone out,and the lgtbq community is a pale shadow. it's full on crab-bucket deathzone with just insane inequality. Oakland was the 'cool place' to be after post-2011 sf poo poo itself, but it has taken the same trajectory after everyone like that was displaced out there--now it itself is too expensive and same issue.

SF was a playground long before 2008 and the endless demands to retain its "character" resulted in the city being put under glass and the necessary development being stymied (along with landlord greed and property value mania). 16th & Mission? Mostly 2-3 story buildings as far as the eye can see. That's not nearly vertical enough, nor is Russian Hill, nor is Richmond, Sunset, etc. Everyone cried FYGM until suddenly they didn't GM anymore and now it's too late to turn back the clock.

# ? Jan 13, 2020 06:01

naem: May 29, 2011

a further addendum to my glass office tower next to a poop ally story, that is only very mildly embellished because otherwise it would be boring:

the ground floor entrance had a two story ceiling for dramatic affect, blue semi opaque glass walled conference rooms to one side (so you could be seen looking important from the street) and an open floor plan office space like something out of a movie.

All the sight lines were clear and open so you were always on display as was the view outside to the street (this is key later)

they seemed to hand select stylish cool people to sit in that office area, walking around with laptops, flannel shirts and funky glasses OR really sharp suit wearing business people depending on their need that day. There was always at least one REALLY attractive lady, so so attractive you�d almost feel compelled to do a double-take or say WOWSA or something

in the middle next to the window wall was the BREAKFAST NOOK�️�️�️. It looked like the worlds fanciest starbucks kiosk, with coffee machines and an open refrigerated wall filled with drinks and dramatic lighting, and bar stools and stainless steel. (employees were not allowed at THE BREAKFAST NOOK�️�️. I was an hourly contractor who sat in a hole with some low ranking support staff for a few months on the other side of the building)

reception would take clients on impromptu �tours� where they�d meet them at the door and walk them about, hand wave to the office space, then say �let�s stop by the BREAKFAST NOOK�️�️�️� and chat briefly letting them take in the view of this movie set of a luxurious workspace, before whoever they were meeting came down to escort them to a conference room.

(I couldn�t help notice that the ATTRACTIVE LADY tended to match the client; if asian guys in suits came in she�d be a really hot asian lady in a skirt suit who JUST HAPPENED to sit near the breakfast nook, doing that thing where she takes off her glasses and bites them absent mindlessly, crossing and uncrossing her legs before clomping by in heels winking a lot. If it was young tech looking guys, BY CHANCE a really extremely hot girl with funky sleeve tattoos and died hair like a dream version of a tech nerd�s fantasy would strut by with a laptop under each arm making sure that you could see her butt was really good. I�m fairly certain this was all premeditated)

Anyways the backdrop to this whole space was THE CITY OF SAN FRANCISCO and i�m pretty sure in architectural renderings the window walls, 360 street views and careful lighting formed a perfect vignette of wealth and professionalism designed to wow visitors.

the architects didn�t count on the fact that the ally that was the third corner of the building was a place where people poo poo. It was a poo poo ally.

no one was camping on the street there anymore (because wealth had displaced them) but the local homeless population hadn�t gone far and regularly stopped by to, take care of business. Once to home industrial warehouses, it had been a safe space where you wouldn�t get hassled and cultural memory lead people back regularly, looking for a place where they could so much as hold still for several minutes

In an ironic twist of fate the BREAKFAST NOOK�️�️�️ where they took all clients was perfectly situated as a framing device for an open air toilet. You had a 60% chance to experience the city�s massive wealth disparity first hand in a glass walled Potemkin village shrine to capitalism and if there wasn�t someone visibly making GBS threads there were a crew of guys spraying turds into a gutter, a glitter of rainbow droplets reflecting on man�s hubris

that�s it that�s the story. Einstein didn�t clap or anything.

The company was bought out by a rival firm who didn�t like the blue conference room glass behind reception (designed to look like the former company�s logo) so they pasted over it with a solid black vinyl sticker with their own logo that tended to peel and look cheap.

People started calling it THE DEATH STAR instead of the BREAKFAST NOOK and then people got laid off and the staffing agencies all lost their contracts and half of us got an identical job 4 blocks away

# ? Jan 13, 2020 06:19

Bodhidharma: Jul 2, 2011; "virgin no more! virgin no more!" i continue to insist as i slowly shrink and transform into a corn cob

Floodixor posted:

When I quickly found a room to rent in a standard SF place ("shotgun" layout - one floor of a Victorian-style house, bay windows, etc) for $600 bucks, I moved into a place full of artists, dog walkers, musicians, bike makers, just incredible and wonderful people who I still talk to today.

Wow, $600 bucks a month for a room in San Francisco (or any major city in California) is an insanely cheap amount these days.

# ? Jan 13, 2020 06:24

Vim Fuego: Jun 1, 2000; I LITERALLY SLEEP IN A RACING CAR. DO YOU?
p.s. ask me about my subscription mattress; Ultra Carp

naem posted:

a further addendum to my glass office tower next to a poop ally story, that is only very mildly embellished because otherwise it would be boring:

the ground floor entrance had a two story ceiling for dramatic affect, blue semi opaque glass walled conference rooms to one side (so you could be seen looking important from the street) and an open floor plan office space like something out of a movie.

All the sight lines were clear and open so you were always on display as was the view outside to the street (this is key later)

they seemed to hand select stylish cool people to sit in that office area, walking around with laptops, flannel shirts and funky glasses OR really sharp suit wearing business people depending on their need that day. There was always at least one REALLY attractive lady, so so attractive you�d almost feel compelled to do a double-take or say WOWSA or something

in the middle next to the window wall was the BREAKFAST NOOK�️�️�️. It looked like the worlds fanciest starbucks kiosk, with coffee machines and an open refrigerated wall filled with drinks and dramatic lighting, and bar stools and stainless steel. (employees were not allowed at THE BREAKFAST NOOK�️�️. I was an hourly contractor who sat in a hole with some low ranking support staff for a few months on the other side of the building)

reception would take clients on impromptu �tours� where they�d meet them at the door and walk them about, hand wave to the office space, then say �let�s stop by the BREAKFAST NOOK�️�️�️� and chat briefly letting them take in the view of this movie set of a luxurious workspace, before whoever they were meeting came down to escort them to a conference room.

(I couldn�t help notice that the ATTRACTIVE LADY tended to match the client; if asian guys in suits came in she�d be a really hot asian lady in a skirt suit who JUST HAPPENED to sit near the breakfast nook, doing that thing where she takes off her glasses and bites them absent mindlessly, crossing and uncrossing her legs before clomping by in heels winking a lot. If it was young tech looking guys, BY CHANCE a really extremely hot girl with funky sleeve tattoos and died hair like a dream version of a tech nerd�s fantasy would strut by with a laptop under each arm making sure that you could see her butt was really good. I�m fairly certain this was all premeditated)

Anyways the backdrop to this whole space was THE CITY OF SAN FRANCISCO and i�m pretty sure in architectural renderings the window walls, 360 street views and careful lighting formed a perfect vignette of wealth and professionalism designed to wow visitors.

the architects didn�t count on the fact that the ally that was the third corner of the building was a place where people poo poo. It was a poo poo ally.

no one was camping on the street there anymore (because wealth had displaced them) but the local homeless population hadn�t gone far and regularly stopped by to, take care of business. Once to home industrial warehouses, it had been a safe space where you wouldn�t get hassled and cultural memory lead people back regularly, looking for a place where they could so much as hold still for several minutes

In an ironic twist of fate the BREAKFAST NOOK�️�️�️ where they took all clients was perfectly situated as a framing device for an open air toilet. You had a 60% chance to experience the city�s massive wealth disparity first hand in a glass walled Potemkin village shrine to capitalism and if there wasn�t someone visibly making GBS threads there were a crew of guys spraying turds into a gutter, a glitter of rainbow droplets reflecting on man�s hubris

that�s it that�s the story. Einstein didn�t clap or anything.

The company was bought out by a rival firm who didn�t like the blue conference room glass behind reception (designed to look like the former company�s logo) so they pasted over it with a solid black vinyl sticker with their own logo that tended to peel and look cheap.

People started calling it THE DEATH STAR instead of the BREAKFAST NOOK and then people got laid off and the staffing agencies all lost their contracts and half of us got an identical job 4 blocks away

this is beautiful

# ? Jan 13, 2020 06:25

BeefThief: Aug 8, 2007

did anybody say Scat Franshitsco yet?

# ? Jan 13, 2020 07:25

JK Fresco: Jul 5, 2019

Bodhidharma posted:

Wow, $600 bucks a month for a room in San Francisco (or any major city in California) is an insanely cheap amount these days.

I think that was the point of that story

# ? Jan 13, 2020 08:50

Nastyman: Jul 11, 2007; There they sit
at the foot of the mountain
Taking hits
of the sacred smoke
Fire rips at their lungs
Holy mountain take us away

OP did you ever consider that rather than human feces incidents being on the rise, maybe we've simply become better at detecting human feces incidents?

# ? Jan 13, 2020 11:55

MageMage: Feb 11, 2007; I SUCK AND LOVE TO YELL PERFORMATIVE HOT TAKES AND NONSENSE LIES WHEN I GET WORKED UP. SOMETIMES AUTOBANNED IS BETTER. MAYBE ONE DAY WHEN I STORM OFF I'LL ACTUALLY STOP SHITTING UP THE SITE FOR REAL

Scott Lame posted:

Fox News is sort of obsessed with the homeless in San Francisco right now, and of course blaming it on the Democrats, as if people are like " the Dems are in office, so let's go poo poo in the street"

Conservative states keep busing their homeless to California so they can say they don't have a homeless problem and go "haha, look how much homeless is in liberal states must be their fault herp derp" especially the desert states.

It's really bad. I was just in SF. I've visited occasionally but it is CROWDED with homeless, this is new. Usually they were confined to the tenderloin and occasionally drift around, but now it seems the whole city is a giant hooverville. There were portable bathrooms brought around but there was of course still poo poo everywhere. It's like the Jetsons with the rich in their highrises living off the bodies of the poor. I don't understand why the people there voted against a homeless shelter from being in their backyard, when there are more homeless than blades of grass on this lawn. Its an epidemic.

Nastyman posted:

OP did you ever consider that rather than human feces incidents being on the rise, maybe we've simply become better at detecting human feces incidents?

No, it's definitely on the rise. It's a combination of heavy homelessness, pay toilets, and wealth inequality. I've visited SF since 2002. It's gotten really bad.

# ? Jan 13, 2020 13:36

naem: May 29, 2011

another issue is that jobs in sf often pay significantly more than elsewhere, minimum wage is $15.59 which is several bucks more than the surrounding area. That bumps pay up for other jobs out of necessity

people will apply to jobs, sleep in their car during the week (because they can�t afford $3000 rent or find something more affordable) and live profitably.

there are people with youtube channels showing how to convert a van into a camper and not get noticed parking in the city

# ? Jan 13, 2020 18:04

The_Franz: Aug 8, 2003

MageMage posted:

I don't understand why the people there voted against a homeless shelter from being in their backyard, when there are more homeless than blades of grass on this lawn. Its an epidemic.

Because they are only liberal when it comes to feel-good social issues like gay marriage or making people ask for water at a restaurant (meanwhile farmers are pumping so much water out of the ground that aquifers are collapsing). If you threaten to go near their money or propose something like a transit stop that might allow poor and/or brown people to access their neighborhoods they go into FYGM mode so fast it creates a sonic boom.

California is basically a preview of the endgame of neoliberalism.

# ? Jan 13, 2020 18:10

temple: Jul 29, 2006; I have actual skeletons in my closet

The_Franz posted:

California is basically a preview of the endgame of neoliberalism.

I thought that was Detroit.

# ? Jan 13, 2020 18:15

Weka: May 5, 2019; That child totally had it coming. Nobody should be able to be out at dusk except cars.

Big Spine Dono posted:

They need to do something productive and put their hands in their own pockets.

This is a thread literally about the homeless doing something productive.

naem posted:

a further addendum to my glass office tower next to a poop ally story, that is only very mildly embellished because otherwise it would be boring:

I'm a poop ally.

# ? Jan 14, 2020 03:32

naem: May 29, 2011

at least autocorrect is consistent lol

# ? Jan 14, 2020 04:50

ninjoatse.cx: Apr 9, 2005; Fun Shoe

Weka posted:

I'm a poop ally.

as someone who poops I appreciate your support

there are many cities that we cannot poop freely

san fran is just one of the good ones

# ? Jan 14, 2020 05:28

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 19, 2024 20:39

Mr. Smile Face Hat: Sep 15, 2003; Praise be to China's Covid-Zero Policy

One overlooked benefit of free pooping is ʻdonglanting, ʻwhich means no cleaning between your legs after the poo." I would imagine ʻdonglanting' could involve some serious embarrassment and a feeling of abandonment, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

If we can laugh at ourselves, understand why we are doing the things we are doing and accept our losses and failures, we can start the healing process.

Do you have other problems you see other people struggling with? How have you helped them through?

# ? Jan 14, 2020 09:19

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > DISGUSTING! Human Feces Incidents on the rise in San Francisco

«‹›6 »