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Coolguye
Jul 6, 2011

Required by his programming!


limp_cheese posted:

It can't be good for a species for 40% of all members to be descended from a single one right? How long before we get a Charles III tortoise?
Like 85% of incest problems are immediate family pairings, either full siblings or parent/child. half siblings are reasonably safe, and Diego had like 12 baby mommas so large swaths of these populations will be half siblings.

I mean itís not ideal and yeah itís not good or anything, but on a scale of 1 to 10 we are taking like a 3 or a 4 here.

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Professor Shark
May 22, 2012



Bleak Gremlin


lol

Barudak
May 7, 2007



I assume the founders effect of this turtle is that all of his sons are named buck and have tiny turtle sized shag wagons.

Alan Smithee
Jan 3, 2005


Sir Not Appearing
Apr 26, 2004




Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

"When I started here all there was was lampshade warehouses and leather bars, the serious leather bars where you wouldn't get in unless you had a rubber ball stuffed in your mouth, the wine list was tattooed on the bartender's face. That kind of place."

-Bogus Adventure






l-loving-mao

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






Coolguye posted:

Like 85% of incest problems are immediate family pairings, either full siblings or parent/child. half siblings are reasonably safe, and Diego had like 12 baby mommas so large swaths of these populations will be half siblings.

I mean it’s not ideal and yeah it’s not good or anything, but on a scale of 1 to 10 we are taking like a 3 or a 4 here.

It's definitely better than the cheetah, which in the relatively recent past was reduced to a breeding population of five. The whole species is gonna be one nasty case of bubonic plague away from probable extinction for centuries to come.

Erisian Automata
May 29, 2002

HELLO I WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT MY VERY STRONG OPINIONS

McSpanky posted:

It's definitely better than the cheetah, which in the relatively recent past was reduced to a breeding population of five. The whole species is gonna be one nasty case of bubonic plague away from probable extinction for centuries to come.

Well, so are bananas. And avocados. Anything with a lack of genetic diversity is at risk. What I'm saying is that if you want to propagate, do it with someone that isn't at all like you, for the good of the species.

Erisian Automata fucked around with this message at 21:03 on Jan 13, 2020

Professor Shark
May 22, 2012



Bleak Gremlin

blight rhino
Feb 11, 2014

EXQUISITE LURKER



Uhhhh, this is an obvious fake. There are only 4 turtles. Who's the friend? Splinter in a suit?? I rate this as false.

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

"When I started here all there was was lampshade warehouses and leather bars, the serious leather bars where you wouldn't get in unless you had a rubber ball stuffed in your mouth, the wine list was tattooed on the bartender's face. That kind of place."

-Bogus Adventure



blight rhino posted:

Uhhhh, this is an obvious fake. There are only 4 turtles. Who's the friend? Splinter in a suit?? I rate this as false.


Look at this philistine forgetting about Venus, the fifth turtle. smdh.

nankeen
Mar 20, 2019

by Cyrano4747


apparently the happy dragon noises from game of thrones were made from recordings of galapagos tortoises mating

mom and dad fight a lot
Sep 21, 2006

twenty-six characters long


Bogus Adventure posted:

Look at this philistine forgetting about Venus, the fifth turtle. smdh.

Why would they break the pattern of naming them after renaissance artists?

Edit: oh, she was named after a Greek statue.

mom and dad fight a lot fucked around with this message at 04:14 on Jan 14, 2020

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005



Hell Gem

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

"When I started here all there was was lampshade warehouses and leather bars, the serious leather bars where you wouldn't get in unless you had a rubber ball stuffed in your mouth, the wine list was tattooed on the bartender's face. That kind of place."

-Bogus Adventure




lmao

bloom
Feb 25, 2017

YOSPOS



Absolute legend

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






Tace Vim
Oct 13, 2005



Fun Shoe

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005







holy poo poo

Goons Are Great
Nov 24, 2013

Please drink responsibly




Staring into the sex abyss

Slugnoid
Jun 23, 2006






Nap Ghost

bloom posted:

Diego, the tortoise who loves to gently caress

https://i.imgur.com/qbkiT.mp4

Backweb
Feb 14, 2009




in tortoise form

The Kins
Oct 2, 2004

Sector Effector


T-posing to assert the continuation of my species.

blight rhino
Feb 11, 2014

EXQUISITE LURKER


Bogus Adventure posted:

Look at this philistine forgetting about Venus, the fifth turtle. smdh.

well, i'll be. i'm glad young me never had that action figure. things could of gotten weird.

Sweaty IT Nerd
Jul 13, 2007



Buglord

nankeen posted:

apparently the happy dragon noises from game of thrones were made from recordings of galapagos tortoises mating

Hot

Sir Nose
Mar 28, 2009



I think that's fighting not loving. The one is knocking his rival onto his back

Alan Smithee
Jan 3, 2005


Sir Nose posted:

I think that's fighting not loving. The one is knocking his rival onto his back

maybe he was just that good at sucking dick

punk rebel ecks
Dec 11, 2010

I will NEVER become THE PIRATE KING!!! I am just a lazy, hypocritical idiot.


Professor Shark posted:

there were just two males and 12 females of his species alive on the island.
But the desirable shell-dweller had so much sex he helped boost the population to over 2,000. The Galapagos National Parks service believe the 100-year-old tortoise is the patriarch of around 40% of that population.]

Doesn't that mean he had sex with his daughters? What a creep.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






punk rebel ecks posted:

Doesn't that mean he had sex with his daughters? What a creep.

Don't look into pet/livestock breeding

Hitlersaurus Christ
Oct 14, 2005



Buglord



im so sorry

Clark Nova
Jul 17, 2004



Fallen Rib

So when was he in the San Diego zoo? When I went there were some giant tortoises going at it and I'd like to believe it was him

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018

SIZE DOESN'T MATTER



Lol

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

"When I started here all there was was lampshade warehouses and leather bars, the serious leather bars where you wouldn't get in unless you had a rubber ball stuffed in your mouth, the wine list was tattooed on the bartender's face. That kind of place."

-Bogus Adventure




itry
Aug 23, 2019






Only a matter of time





ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It is time for your viscera to see the light of day!

The Horny Tortoise Who Saved His Species Is A Fraud

Paladinus
Jan 11, 2014

Of course, it doesn't make sense to pay more, so you can just by two cat harnesses and use one of them for sex.




That fucker!

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018

SIZE DOESN'T MATTER



Personally I like the underdog that other turtle sounds like some kind of terminator.

limp_cheese
Sep 9, 2007

japanese hardcore sex videos fotos los simpson porn16 yrs old porn I NEVER ACTUALLY FACEFUCKED A DEER I JUST brandy ledford nude pics SAID I DID, IT WAS A CLEVER JOKE


Doctor Rope


Jesus Christ 60%?!

Also lol at having 3 tortoise to repopulate the species and one is impotent. Like pandas I think this species might not be long for this world with those gently caress numbers.

SirSamVimes
Jul 21, 2008






limp_cheese posted:

Jesus Christ 60%?!

Also lol at having 3 tortoise to repopulate the species and one is impotent. Like pandas I think this species might not be long for this world with those gently caress numbers.

I mean there's 2000 of them now

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Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Feb 17, 2011

meat


Jonathan is currently the best Tortoise Diego is a pale imitation of Jonathan

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