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vyst
Aug 25, 2009






The Chad Diego bested by the Virgin E5

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Bregor
May 31, 2013

People are idiots, Leslie.



Friendship ended with DIEGO

Now E5 is my best tortoise

Sir Not Appearing
Apr 26, 2004



https://i.imgur.com/xv2QEUb.jpg

PathAsc
Nov 15, 2011

Hail SS-18 Satan may he cleanse us with nuclear fire

PISS TAPE IS REAL


Professor Shark
May 22, 2012



Bleak Gremlin

Cracked posted:

The third tortoise was apparently either shooting blanks or an inshell.

lol Cracked

Edit:

Cracked posted:

Why has Diego been hailed as a hero with worldwide headlines calling him the sole savior of his species when he isn't even the most sexually productive of the bunch? A professor of environmental biology interviewed by the New York Times speculates that it's because Diego was "a big personality - quite aggressive, active and vocal in his mating habits and so I think he has gotten most of the attention" while he referred to E5 as a "more reserved, less charismatic male." Furthermore, apparently E5 did a lot of his sex at night while Diego was a bit of an exhibitionist who had sex during the day for all to see.

Forget E5, Diego is the man!

Professor Shark fucked around with this message at 09:43 on Jan 16, 2020

Shoehead
Sep 28, 2005

My cause is just...my will is strong...and my gun is very, very large!





Holy poo poo

ChubbyChecker
Mar 25, 2018



Call Your Grandma
Jan 17, 2010



Nooner
Mar 26, 2007

I am Nooner



jfc

Glenn Quebec
Oct 30, 2005

That's because our downstream reality reflects an upstream case but I'm going to violate it.

I can't believe you guys are that quick to forget about Diego. He hosed a ton and had excellent showmanship each time, vocalizing, doing it during the day. Team Diego 4 lyfe

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

"When I started here all there was was lampshade warehouses and leather bars, the serious leather bars where you wouldn't get in unless you had a rubber ball stuffed in your mouth, the wine list was tattooed on the bartender's face. That kind of place."

-Bogus Adventure




PathAsc
Nov 15, 2011

Hail SS-18 Satan may he cleanse us with nuclear fire

PISS TAPE IS REAL


McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005






Poor Diego, he was partying all day but now we know what was happening at night

https://i.imgur.com/jXXSuM7.png

Dick Bastardly
Aug 22, 2012

Muttley is SKYNET!!!


Grimey Drawer


um... the other tortoise is facing the floppy one... does.... does that mean floppy got his dick bitten off??

davidspackage
May 16, 2007



Exciting Lemon

Dick Bastardly posted:

um... the other tortoise is facing the floppy one... does.... does that mean floppy got his dick bitten off??



when u nut but she still snappin

Speleothing
May 6, 2008

Spare batteries are pretty key.

Fun Shoe

Funny story about Diego - he was so eager and excited about sex that the biologists at the conservation center thought that maybe he could teach Lonesome George how to gently caress, as George was the last male from his own island and had never mated with any of the five females he was kept with.

Turned out that George hated sex so much that he attacked Diego and knocked him off the female being mounted.

Klyith
Aug 3, 2007

GBS Pledge Week


Speleothing posted:

Funny story about Diego - he was so eager and excited about sex that the biologists at the conservation center thought that maybe he could teach Lonesome George how to gently caress, as George was the last male from his own island and had never mated with any of the five females he was kept with.

Turned out that George hated sex so much that he attacked Diego and knocked him off the female being mounted.

Shoehead
Sep 28, 2005

My cause is just...my will is strong...and my gun is very, very large!




Speleothing posted:

Funny story about Diego - he was so eager and excited about sex that the biologists at the conservation center thought that maybe he could teach Lonesome George how to gently caress, as George was the last male from his own island and had never mated with any of the five females he was kept with.

Turned out that George hated sex so much that he attacked Diego and knocked him off the female being mounted.

The Virgin George and the Chad Diego

Nooner
Mar 26, 2007

I am Nooner


Shoehead posted:

The Virgin George and the Chad Diego

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO
Feb 28, 1985


Stuck again
Show us your sexual tortoise art.

Sir Not Appearing
Apr 26, 2004



Sir Not Appearing
Apr 26, 2004



Sir Not Appearing
Apr 26, 2004



blight rhino
Feb 11, 2014

EXQUISITE LURKER






he gonna get it

itry
Aug 23, 2019






GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

Show us your sexual tortoise art.



Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

"When I started here all there was was lampshade warehouses and leather bars, the serious leather bars where you wouldn't get in unless you had a rubber ball stuffed in your mouth, the wine list was tattooed on the bartender's face. That kind of place."

-Bogus Adventure




Alan Smithee
Jan 3, 2005


someone do the can of beans

Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

"When I started here all there was was lampshade warehouses and leather bars, the serious leather bars where you wouldn't get in unless you had a rubber ball stuffed in your mouth, the wine list was tattooed on the bartender's face. That kind of place."

-Bogus Adventure



Bogus Adventure
Jan 11, 2017

"When I started here all there was was lampshade warehouses and leather bars, the serious leather bars where you wouldn't get in unless you had a rubber ball stuffed in your mouth, the wine list was tattooed on the bartender's face. That kind of place."

-Bogus Adventure





Bregor
May 31, 2013

People are idiots, Leslie.



wesleywillis
Dec 30, 2016

A garden full of trees, and a pocket full of cheese.

Professor Shark posted:

lol Cracked

Edit:


Forget E5, Diego is the man!


Inshell? No way, sounds more like Volshell.
He had all that hot turtle pussy being thrown at him and he wasn't having it. Maybe he was gay?

Bronze Fonz
Feb 14, 2019



Gajarga
Nov 5, 2006


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Dick Bastardly
Aug 22, 2012

Muttley is SKYNET!!!


Grimey Drawer

here's a weird psychedelic interpretation of E5's progeny I made, namaste:

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