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Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012



Hello ladies and gents! This is version [REDACTED] of r/relationships. The previous thread is a little bloated so it's time to start things anew. It also allows for a jumping in point for people who are intimidated by length of the last one.

Despite being named r/relationships thread, the purview of the thread has extended past just that subreddit; even so there are a few things to remember just like the last thread:

1) Don't touch the poop.

2) Try not to go on pages long derails about your superior sex life.

3) Don't talk about how cool your relationships or sex life is; no one cares.

4) Don't defend pedophilia. Just don't.

5) Don't post surprise sex/abuse stories.

If you don't like the thread title ask a mod to change it.

Last few stories:

quote:

I [43F] declined to be my friend's [41F] MoH or bridesmaid and it's causing issues.

I'm someone who is planning to be single for life. I've realized I am not really cut out for long term relationships as I like to do much own thing a little too much. I'm fine with that but my core friend group at the moment are generally other single men and women my age so it's not as if I'm lonely or feeling left out.

I am also an organizer and I have a bit of a reputation in my group as an excellent Maid of Honor- I have done it 7 times now over the last decade and my spreadsheets and Trello boards are something equally laughed and and revered (yes I know I'm ridiculous and a bit extra but they really do help keep track of things) but in the end, the people I spend effort on have always shown me how much they appreciate it even if they think I'm a bit extra.

I have had a high school friend who I've known for awhile now. She's never been happy single but it's taken her awhile to fine the one (she's been seeing this guy for about 2.5 years).

Anyway immediately after she met this guy, she predictable cut back the time she was spending with me quite dramatically. I don't blame her, it's the normal thing to do but I went from seeing her once a week to maybe once a month at best or once every 3-4 months over the last few years and it's always with me initiating a meetup.

A year into her relationship, I stopped initiating meetups at all so our interactions have been occasional texts like once a month or her liking my social media posts. In the meantime, I turned to other friends and networks and life moves on, at 43, it's not the first or last time this has happened, this sort of thing really hit it's peak when I was in my late 20s to mid 30's so to avoid being lonely, I have a wide network of people and social hobbies.

However I got a phone call from her saying that she was engaged so I congratulated her and did all the usual "how did he propose?" and the ooohing and ahhing over the picture of the ring etc.

She then asked me to be a MoH. I was honestly not expecting this because we haven't talked in person or on the phone in over a year and half and she hadn't bothered to reach out to meet up at all. I don't feel close to her anymore and honestly I was only expecting to be invited as a guest (if at all, normally the older you get, the smaller your wedding gets).

I guess my problem is that I was diplomatic, I told her I didn't have the time to take on MoH duties as I was very busy (which is true but I would have made time for a closer friend). She then asked me to be in the bridal party and I again mentioned that I didn't really have time.

She's gotten upset with me because I've been a mutual friend's MoH last year for a friend and helped a lot with the wedding planning and stuff in general because my friend and her fiance faced a family emergency + illness at the time, to the point where even the groom was singing my praises at the thank you speech.

But my friend, even though she was in relationship, still met up with me twice a week and we'd have nice phone calls at least once a week. She was present and showed she valued the relationship so I stepped up for her when she needed help. And helping her did take a lot out of me for the 6 months when things were critical but I don't regret it. I feel like with this particular friend, there wouldn't be any payback really for any effort that I would put in.

But I didn't want to get into all of that with this individual because I knew it was just giving her ammunition and opening up a can over worms that wasn't going to be easily resolved. I know from enough experience when I've brought issues of not spending lots of time together up, "friends" have thrown my single status in my face as a derogatory thing so now I let people who want to be in my life make the effort and I understand if people put their partner's first but when I have a set of friends who will spend time with me frequently and regularly irrespective of relationship status, I will focus my energy and affection there.

I offered to give her my spreadsheets and Trello board to help her out with the wedding planning because I was started to get a sense that she just wanted a free wedding planner in the guise of a MoH rather than me in particular. The conversation kept revolving around how good I was at planning things etc not "I really want to share this experience with you".

It's now causing issues in my friend group because other mutual friends have agreed to be bridesmaids but no MoH and people assumed that I would be it.

A lot of my friends are completely understanding of the time commitment and the distance and support me but now if I get tagged in a FB post doing an escape room or something - on someone else's wall, I get a passive aggressive comment like "OMG Decent_Moose you look like you had a great time!" from her when she's never bothered before

Recently, I got a wall of text from her saying she thought we were better friends that than and that she thought I'd be there for her. I haven't responded so I got another wall of text about how she missed our friendship and she wonders why I never kept in touch. I commented back with a neutral "Life happens doesn't it?"

She's then gone and told other mutual friends that I have tendency to cut friends off once they get into a relationship because I'm bitter or jealous and I'm single. At this point, it was kind of predictable that my single status would come up but it still hurts every time.

Luckily, my friends have completely had my back on this and one even threatened to drop out of the bridal party but I'm at a complete loss here on how to proceed. I've never had someone do this do me, usually if we drift apart, we drift apart, I've never had someone come back and try to make me part of their bridal party.

What do I do here?

TLDR: Friend who didn't put effort into our friendship after she got into a relationship wants me to be MoH. I declined and now she's bad mouthing me.

quote:

My (21m) roommate is becoming extremely obsessed with my (f21) feet and itís becoming a problem. What do I do?


Hi guys.

Iím using a throwaway for obvious reasons. So to start let me tell you about the backstory to all of this. About a year ago, me, my boyfriend Ricky (21m) and his two friends Jack and Ryan all moved out of our college dorms into like a apartment type of deal in a college town kinda. We are all currently in our third year of college. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 6 years. I have known both of his friends for about 6 years as well.

Jack is who this post is about. (I changed all names for privacy). Now, we were all freshman and I actually met Jack first and we dated for about 3 or 4 days. We met at a party and hooked up and he asked me to be his girlfriend later in the night and I drunkenly said yes. The next couple days I hung out in his garage with him, Ryan and Ricky. I realized that I had made a huge mistake and I really really liked Ricky. Long story short I ended up breaking it off with jack and started dating Ricky pretty soon after. We broke up for about 3 months when we were seniors. And I hooked up with Jack again but in my opinion it was because Jack pressured me into it. I really only see Jack as a best buddy and thatís about it. Then Ricky and I got back together and have been since.

Anyways. So this all started the first time we hooked up. I was on top and Jack kept gripping my feet and rubbing them while we were having sex. I thought it was weird but thought nothing of it. The second time we hooked up he did it again.

Around 10 or 11 months ago we were alone in the house for the first time after moving in. (We never hangout alone before we lived together it was always all 4 of us in a group) my boyfriend doesnít really like me hanging out alone with him because of our past and he doesnít really like me alone with any guy. Anyways, we were hanging out and watching tv on the couch and I was laying down and my feet were right by him and he was sitting up. He grabbed my feet and put them on his lap and started rubbing them. I didnít think much of it or care. If my boyfriend walked in at the time heíd probably have screamed at me later but I just saw it as innocent and kinda brushed it off i didnít really question it I guess.

So that happened a few more times and it kinda just became like a thing when we were home together which is a lot because of both of the other guys work a lot more than me and him. I would just kinda put my feet in his lap and heíd rub them. We didnít really talk about it or anything. My boyfriend never wants to rub them and I love foot rubs so I didnít care.

Then about 6 months or so ago I walked into my room and caught him smelling my sneaker. I instantly freaked out and a million things flashed into my head and I realized this guy has a foot fetish. I immediately freaked out on him and told him to never let me indulge his fetish without even letting me know etc etc. I told him to stay away from my feet and feet related items. I probably wouldnít of cared either to be honest. I take really good care of my feet and I think they look nice and I donít think Iím a bad looking girl. I wouldnít of cared if he had just asked. He can go smell my shoes and rub my feet if he wants to it doesnít harm me. But the fact that he did it without telling me made it a no.

Then, about 4 months ago we all got really drunk one night and I passed out and I woke up to him sucking on my toes. I was too tired at the time to do anything about it but I screamed at him later.

Then about a month ago is when I caught him taking pictures of my feet when I was asleep. Now he has been asking me every single day for the past month to sell him foot pics or to let him touch my feet for money and a whole bunch of stuff. He said he wants me to findom him and I donít even know what that is. I just signed another year lease here and I canít tell my boyfriend because he will try to fight him and it will cause tons of drama. What do I do about this situation?

Itís gotten to the point where Iím uncomfortable around him and stuff. My friend told me I should cash in on him and get all the money I can. I wouldíve loved to do that and I probably would have if he hadnít been a creep but now he just gives me the creeps and I feel like thatís not what I wanna do anymore.

I also noticed a lot of my dirty socks go missing lately and Iím sure he took them. I put them on in the morning and wear them all day at school then if I work wear them to work and then to the gym and then on my run and then home. So theyíd be perfect as they stink. I just feel creeped out in my own home and I donít like this at all.

tl;dr my roommate is obsessed with my feet and is sniffing my shoes and possibly stealing my socks when Iím not around and I donít like it



quote:

AITA for taking my birth control in public?

Iíve been taking oral contraceptives for about 6 years now. When I first started, I was worried about what other people would think (I was raised in a pretty ďsex-is-tabooĒ household) and hid that I was taking them very well. Now, however, Iím in my mid twenties and Iím comfortable enough in my skin that I donít really mind if people know Iím on the pill.

Anyway, I was out on a double date with a couple we know last night and the alarm on my watch started going off (vibration). It was time for me to take my pill. While weíre all chatting, I reach down into my purse thatís beside me in the booth and get my pill, put it in my mouth, and take a drink of water. Whole thing probably took 30 seconds.

My friend didnít comment, but her boyfriend made a face and said ďdid you just take something?Ē

I said ďyeah, my birth control.Ē

He made another face and said, ďthatís inappropriate donít you think?Ē

I just kind of exchanged a look with my boyfriend who seemed as lost as I was. I mumbled an ďuh, okĒ cause I hate confrontation.

He went on, ďyou should probably go to the bathroom to do that. Itís really not polite to take that kind of pill in front of a group of people. We get it, you have sex.Ē

I really had no idea what to say, so my boyfriend changed the subject to the game that was on over our heads at the bar and the night carried on.

I was pretty much floored. Wtf? I had been doing this for a while now, any time Iím out and my alarm goes off, Iíll just take my pill and go about my day. Wouldnít it be like taking any other medication? Or Advil? I donít really see the problem. AITA?

quote:

AITA for nicknaming my blind mother-in-law Roomba?

quote:
She lives with me and my wife and our children. She's completely blind but knows our house well and finds her way about, in part, by lightly bumping into things and then changing directions.

She has a great sense of humor and thinks the nickname is funny, as do our kids. (I don't call her Roomba all the time, only sometimes when she is navigating around the house.)

But my wife hates it, and says I am being an A-hole.

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Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012



quote:

AITA for 'outing' my ex as a father?

My ex, Josh, and I have a five year old son, Alex. We split when Alex was a year old, and we decided I'd have primary custody because he moved in with a bunch of roommates, but he asked to have Alex every other weekend.

Well, Josh paid child support, but he kept making excuses every weekend as to why he couldn't have Alex overnight (roommates having a party, his friend needed help moving, roommates having guests, his sister was in town, etc.) and after the first six months or so, I just stopped bugging him about it and he just stopped even making excuses. He didn't see Alex at all from ages 2-4.

Last year, his roommate situation changed, he distanced himself from his toxic friend group, and his parents were putting pressure on him, so Josh asked if he could have Alex for one weekend a month. After setting up some playdates to make sure Alex was comfortable with him (since he was basically a stranger at this point), we went ahead with that plan. And it's been great, Alex loves his dad and they have a great time together, and Josh expressed interest in having him over more weekends now. It's also been nice to have some 'time off' being a single mom. Great. Good news.

Except... I'm not a big social media person, but I checked Facebook in December and noticed that Josh has been posting a lot of pictures of Alex over the last year... and he never indicated that Alex was his son. He keeps calling him his 'friend' or 'his little buddy.' Someone even asked who Alex was and he said, "He's my little bud!" Something about this rubbed me the wrong way. I feel like I've been incredibly 'chill' about this process, maybe moreso than I should have, but the fact that he isn't even claiming Alex as his son is really lovely. I was worried he wasn't even telling his friends that this was his kid.

So, next time he posted Alex, I commented basically saying, 'I'm glad Alex is having a great time with his dad!' and proved my hypothesis; everyone was like, 'You have a kid???' 'This is your kid???' 'You never mentioned having a kid!'

Josh was furious at me, deleted the post when he saw it, and basically said it's his business to tell his friends and social circle about his life. My sister also said I was being petty, but she said I have an excuse because he's been so absent. Was it an rear end in a top hat move to 'out' him like this?

quote:

My girlfriend [27F] got upset with me and said that she can never depend on me [27M] because I refused to do something for her that is potentially illegal

Spoke to my girlfriend this morning who says she is suffering from a sinus infection and asked if I could call in some antibiotics for her and pretend it's for an animal (I'm a veterinarian). And I told her I wouldn't do it. That would be committing prescription fraud and I wouldn't want to risk losing my lisence or even potentially going to jail if found out.

She gave me the silent treatment the rest of the day and was ignoring my calls and texts. I spoke with her and then she told me she was upset and feels like she cant count on me and brought up some stuff from a year ago when she had told one of her friends that I would sign some papers for her dog to fly on a plane, but then I told her I wouldnt do to not having a doctor patient relationship with the dog and another instance in the past where she asked if I could help her out with some rent money and if I could download venmo to transfer it. I said I wasnt comfortable using venmo (I guess I'm just cautious) but that I could give it to her in person a few days later and she got all upset and give me the same speech then.

Am I being unreasonable here? Just want some 3rd party opinions

TL;DR - Gf wanted me to prescribe her antibiotics under a fake 'dog' and I refused to. She said she cant depend on me.

quote:

AITA for not going to my brothers wedding over 'politics'?

My brother and his fiancee love Gambia, they have been there many times, they love the people there, the vibe etc. This is their absolute dream wedding, with a very small amount of family and friends in a guesthouse of friend they met on their travels there.

Me and my long time girlfriend are both female, so we do not want to attend because of the anti lgbt laws in Gambia (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGB...s_in_the_Gambia).

My brother assures us there is no problem if we go, the laws are aimed mostly at gay men and that all Gambian people they met were not homophobic at all. He and his fiancee have met many other travellers there that were gay, and they never had problems as long as they were careful. I do believe this, and we aren't a couple that is into PDA anyway, so it wouldn't be hard to pretend to be friends.

I still do not want to go to this country and frankly think it's wrong that my brother chooses to celebrate his love in a country where mine is illegal.

Our parents are very angry at me for this. Their view is that nothing would happen to us, so they cannot believe I would miss my brothers wedding over 'politics'. They point out many gay people travel to Gambia every year just for a holiday and so why can't we do it for my brothers wedding?

My brother is more understanding, but very upset as they honestly never anticipated this because of their very positive experiences there. They were very excited to be able to share this place they love so much with the people they love the most.

WIBTA for staying with my original decision of not going?

quote:

AITA For being upset that the girl Iíve been seeing let herself into my place and did my laundry and dishes?

Iíve been seeing a girl for just over a month and things have been really good! She is generally good with boundaries. Always asks if she can stay the night, etc.

Enter yesterday. Itís my motherís 60th Birthday and Iíve spent the whole day setting up this party. Itís finally midnight and we are leaving the hall. I turn on Spotify and I get notified that I am listening on my Xbox. I live alone in a studio apartment and havenít been home since 9am.

Turns out she decided to surprise me. Let herself in and did all my laundry and washed all my dishes.

I live in a studio apartment and have virtually no privacy and after the hellish day that was my momís birthday-I was just exhausted. That last thing I wanted was for her to come to my place unannounced and do my laundry.

AITA for being annoyed? She just said her peace and was upset I didnít do a good job acknowledging how much work it was.

EDIT: Thanks everyone for the advice. I think part of the problem is she still lives with her parents and it isnít as big of a deal to her. We talked. She cried but ultimately Iím not breaking up with her over this. Going forward she knows that I need my personal space and Iíll for sure be locking my door no matter what going forward.

quote:

AITA for absolutely refusing to pay my ex girlfriend and her child after I came into money?

My ex girlfriend of 7 years cheated on me and initially led me to believe the child was mine when she was pregnant. Shortly before giving birth her father asked me to meet him where he told me he had reason to believe I wasnít the father.

I was obviously devastated being as I wanted to marry this girl and she was my life. We were each otherís first everythingís. The reason she gave for cheating on me is that technically we were broken up (we werenít.. we had an argument and she moved to her parents house for a few days to calm down) and that she had never been with anyone apart from me.

Regardless I broke up with her. Apparently she has been heartbroken for the past year and has never moved on, she gave the kid the name I chose when I thought the baby was actually mine, etc. Iíve heard from friends back home she asks after me and how Iím doing. Sheís been diagnosed with depression which is sad for her but not my problem.

My dad recently won a good amount of money from a legal dispute (that has been dragging on years...) and he gave me some money that let me buy two homes outright one to rent one to live in.

She found out because my dad and her dad are friends and she called me begging for a loan. She said she would pay me back blah blah but if I could please help her out because she was struggling.

I told her to F off and lose my number. Literally every single person I know is telling me Iím a bad person because we were together so long and I have basically left her to fend for herself. To make it worse my mom and dad are actually on her side and are trying to encourage me to do the Ďright thingí. They want to give her the money but wont out of respect for me but they are pressuring me. I just feel like Iím in goddamn crazy land here.

quote:

Dating my taken ex and the most jealous/toxic argument and situation youíve probably heard about

TL;DR - WE KNOW WE ARE TOXIC WE WANT ANSWERS NOT TO TELL US SOMETHING WE ALREADY KNOW No judgements we know weíre terrible just looking for answers (PLEASE READ THE WHOLE THING DOWN BELOW) Me and ex are still in love. Sheís super jealous, tells me to drop a platonic friend but she wonít breakup with the boyfriend sheís been cheating on with me. She wants me all to herself. Who should drop who and is it fair for her to keep her bf if i can keep my friend.

Me [18M] and my Ex [18] dated for a good 9 months. Weíre still madly in love hardcore to the point where we canít be separated and always crawl right back to each other. Sheís found a boyfriend, i have not been in a relationship since. We have been cheating without his knowledge throughout their entire relationship and once he found out recently my ex faced social consequences even after her bf forgave her. Itís been about a week and weíve gone right back to cheating. Weíre both heavily jealous, me of her boyfriend and her of any girl that isnít family. Sheís dating him to preserve her social life which was minimal to begin with. Sheís forcing me to drop a platonic friend because she doesnít want another girl to be talking to me. I said I wonít drop her because she hasnít done anything wrong and wonít even consider it until she breaks up with her boyfriend. She refuses to break up with him because itís ďdifferentĒ. She harasses my platonic with mean dms and i say that if she doesnít stop Iíll let her bf know weíre still talking as he wanted her to block me on everything and is like a prison guard having her check her phone for messages and everything. If i message him he will break up with her and have her social life pretty much torn to shreds as she is involved with a lot of groups her bf is involved with or completely stop contact between the two of us. Weíre not looking for judgement we just want a clear answer on whoís more in the wrong for all of our horrible actions as terrible people.



I hate you both but you are nowhere near the most toxic. What you describe is also not love.

quote:

I (F31) live with my ex of ten years (M30) after he came out as gay a year ago. Iím trying to date someone new.

If youíre anything like my friends your initial reaction will be ďgirl get the heck outta there!!Ē But itís not so simple. I work full time but my wages are not enough to live alone. At this age all my friends are married with kids and canít take me on. I have no family here as I live in a different city. I could flat with University students but at my ripe age I know it wouldnít be good... So - I live in my own bedroom/lounge in the house me and ex hubby rent together.

The thing is Iím finally hitting the dating scene. The guy Iíve started seeing knows my story and seemingly doesnít mind. But deep down I feel like it may be damaging things. He canít ever come here, and I have to drive out of town to see him.

My ex has been dating since July. He has a steady boyfriend and to my disgust a girl he fools around with too. Iím over being upset about that... but I know Iím never going to truly get over it while Iím stuck here. Rent in this city is madly high, I could live in a small turd box with no money left, or I can live a comfortable life here in this emotional prison. I canít weight it up.

I know Iím not moving on the way I should be while I have to see the ex every day. And, if I was my new date Iíd be slightly uncomfortable knowing he lived with his ex - even if she were gay...

Financial ruin or never moving on??

Iím trying to get promoted at work but itíll take time and a bit more of my soul. I could move back to my home city but all my friends and my new date are up here... and my job is the first job Iíve ever liked going to and I donít want to lose that.
I donít know if advice will help... but any is appreciated.

TL;DR: I live with my ex due to difficult circumstances and am anxious about dating and stuffing it up.



Hi, this is my gay ex that I still live with. This is his boyfriend and this is the girl he is also fooling around with. He is totally gay though. Are you a character from a really bad soap opera?

Pretty good
Apr 16, 2007





"We get it, you have sex" guy has brain ghosts

Pretty good
Apr 16, 2007





pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

I posted a 7 point defense of corporate wage theft because my brain is full of worms.

Rip Memento Mori Lasagna.
AITA for taking my wifeís lasagna to work without telling her?

Thread Titles Explained

I walked in my room and caught him smelling my sneaker
My (21m) roommate is becoming extremely obsessed with my (f21) feet and itís becoming a problem. What do I do?

aquaman living in my house and I want him to be reasonable

Tijuana-A-Go-Go posted:

My [32F] fiances [33M] hobby is driving me crazy

Deserves it for saying "strap" instead of like replacement penis

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for getting my friend a strap on as a birthday gift?

You never pleasured me, what are lesbians going to be impressed by?

Miss posted:

I[23F] insulted my boyfriend[24M] after he spent hours being sexist and obnoxious. Was I out of line or is he overreacting?

my husband most likely has a dick up his rear end right now

Smirking_Serpent posted:

I [32F] think my husband [33M] might be gay and I'm not sure what my next steps are.


How is babby mourned?

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for leaving town when I found out about my unborn son's death and not giving my STBX husband the chance to see him?

Whoa, Cat Betty, bit-a-man

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for saying Ď I told you soí when my cat bit somebody?

Wurzag posted:

Woah cat Betty
Bit a man

Oompa-Loompa body rear end bitch

ad090 posted:

AITA for not making my son apologize

She said "I will never jeopardize the beans"

chemtrail huffer posted:

My (30 M) girlfriend (30 F) buried all of my beans in the woods and won't tell me where, causing a fight between us.

Ok I think you're right. I am technically physically white.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for ďhumiliatingĒ my daughter in front of her boyfriend by forcing her to play Scrabble with the family?

my BF keeps going back and ordering eggs and getting into fistfights

henkman posted:

My (29F) Boyfriend (29M) keeps getting into fights with a cook at Waffle House


Make $300 a Day Writing Porn, Girlfriends Hate It!

Smirking_Serpent posted:

My (29M) girlfriend (29F) wants me to quit my job, or she will break up with me.

Note: I have one leg

Evil Willow posted:

JNMIL offered me 10k to leave her daughter.

It's hard to leave him though. He gave me herpes

Evil Willow posted:

My (28f) fiancť (29m) will ignore me for days whenever he gets mad at me and expects me to contact him


I (28f) havenít spoken with my fiancť (29m) for a week now (update on previous post)


Comments....

pentyne fucked around with this message at 08:37 on May 26, 2020

bell jar
Feb 25, 2009

Please bitches. If nothing else I am a gentleman

Obligatory Pete:

Me [25 F] with my boyfriend [30 M] of 6 months - we broke up after I booked tickets to go on a trip with an ex from ancient history, who is more of a best-friend

quote:

Did I screw up?

So, I (f/25) have been seeing my boyfriend, Pete (m/30) for 6 months and its been wonderful. I really thought I'd found "the one" with him, but after last night I feel my world has collapsed and am not sure I've made the right decisions or if I was right. My heart feels like its been pulled out of my chest and I can't sleep. I'd never felt like this about anyone before.

My good friend, who we'll call Dave, was my boyfriend from the age of 18 to 21, after which we broke up because we wanted different things in life. We stayed good friends though because we had a great friendship and had been through so much together. He lives in a different country at the moment but we still talk semi-regularly online and in Whatsapp. Pete knew that Dave was a friend of mine but didn't know he was an ex until about 2 weeks ago, when Dave asked me to visit him in Amsterdam while he's on a work trip (I live in the UK, he lives in Italy). I had already agreed and booked a ticket before I told Pete - they were on sale for a ridiculously low price on the dates that he would be there, so I jumped at the opportunity.

Pete seemed cool with it at first but after a few days asked me if there was any history between us. I was honest and told him there was. He didn't seem too bothered and eventually asked if I thought visiting an ex in another country was appropriate whilst in a relationship. I explained to him how Dave and my relationship wasn't like that and that we were strictly platonic. He didn't seem to really react, he just gave me a look that was...sarcastic, I suppose, would be the best way to describe it. I then told him that I wouldn't be controlled and hated men that thought they owned me and could tell me what to do. I told him I was free to see who I wanted and that I found his lack of trust in me upsetting, disrespectful and, perhaps, a sign of future abusiveness. I now realise that this may have been a bad thing to say. Again, he didn't really react so I thought that was the end of it.

Then, last night, he came around to my flat and broke up with me!

I asked him why and tried to get him to explain himself and he told me that my going away was to see "another man" a deal-breaker, that he'd been in this type of situation before and wasn't going to go through it again. I asked him if this was an ultimatum - I hate ultimatums, they are tools of abusers - and he said "No, its not an ultimatum. I've decided to break up with you. I have not presented you with any options. I just came to say goodbye."
Before I could say or do anything more, he kissed me on the forehead, said goodbye and walked away. He didn't seem angry, just...sad.
I tried to call him after, but he just texted me some bullshit about how this was for the best and that he wished me no ill will and hopes I'll be happy. He turned his phone off after whilst I bombarded him with texts and voicemails.

To make matters worse, I told Dave about what happened and he replied "Oh well, guess that means we can have even more fun then! ;o)" He didn't care about my relationship and my pain - he just wanted a hookup buddy and someone to get stoned with whilst he was in Amsterdam.
Now I've lost someone I love and my best friend - who I was only interested in as friends - has a different motive to me for meeting up. I feel like I've lost my partner and I've lost a best friend at the same time.

I tried calling Pete today, about an hour ago, and he actually answered! He told me that I should look to be with someone who wasn't so abusive. He said, "Please stop calling me - this is over. Have a nice trip to Amsterdam" Then he BLOCKED me! How could he do that to someone he loves? Is he over reacting or was I? What should I do now? Was I wrong?

tl;dr:
Booked tickets to visit best friend. Got dumped because he was an ex. Did I just dodge a huge bullet...or did he?
EDIT: OK I KNOW I hosed UP. What should I do?

Beachcomber
May 21, 2007

Another day in paradise.




Slippery Tilde

^^^^I hate you.

Might as well Pete up the first page.


Fine! Here's Dogcape.

quote:

I [16F] feel like my "cousin" [16-17M] is ruining my life, how can I make my Mom understand?
quote:
I live with my Mom [40], my sisters [14/12], my Aunt [30's] and her daugter [6] who are not actually related to me. My Mom and her moved in together after my father was out of the picture, after my sisters were born. We've all lived together since I was 4, we're a happy and healthy family.

I should say I'm pretty shy and suffer from anxiety.

Here's what I've pieced together: My Aunt got pregnant when she was 17 to a man from Australia that she had just met. They decided to stay together, it didn't work out and a year later she let him take the baby to Australia. She said she spoke to the father on the phone maybe half a dozen times since then, and the boy only once when he was a child.

Last year my Aunt starts getting calls from police-type people about her son, looking for birth records. The father had died and no one wanted to take him, so the Australian child protection had gotten involved and discovered he was a US citizen and had no visa or anything and were trying to figure out what to do with him. My Aunt organized to take him, and some months later we were driving out meet his plane.

My Mom and Aunt had sat as down and explained this to us, that he'd be coming to live with us permenantly, all my Aunt knew about him was his father said he was 'gifted' and 'quiet'. From that I was expected a little nerdy kid my age, I was actually excited to meet him, I thought we could be best friends! When we finally met him, I almost had a panic attack.
He's got to be at least 6'5" and he's brawny as hell, like a muscle guy. He's huge compared to any of us. I remember thinking "I don't know this person, and he could hurt me easily", he's not a boy, he's a man.

Literally the only question he had asked my Aunt when they talked on the phone about him coming was if he could bring his dog. She said of course he could. Turns out his dog is a giant German Shepherd thing. But it's bigger than any German Shepherd I've ever seen and is fluffy like a husky or wolf or something. It's as imposing as he is.

He didn't say more than 3 words the entire way home from the airport. He regularly cuts people off with things like "I don't need your life story" or by just walking out of the room while you're trying to talk to him. He wears headphones all the time and pretends he can't hear you.

He moved into the basement. My sisters and our friends had set the basement up as our space for hanging out and playing games and watching anime, we used it every day, but it's pretty large and my Mom had said we would probably be able to keep using it like that even after he moved in. There's nothing technically stopping us from still using it except for the stranger and his giant wolf sitting in the corner making us uncomfortable.

Speaking of his dog he's weird with it. It follows him everywhere, he carries it around on his shoulders (This is the worst. Ever have a man twice your size wearing a dog as big as you as a hat loom over you while you're trying to eat breakfast?), it sleeps in his bed under the covers, and I swear he takes it into the bath with him to wash it. All this might be adorable if it wasn't a giant beast. My Aunt says it was a support animal in Australia but I don't know if I believe he actually needs one.

One night not long after he came my Aunt said he was sometimes too much like his father, and he exploded at her, saying things like it's too late to complain about that now and she should have thought of that before. It was the most he'd said at one time since he'd moved in. She burst into tears and he just walked out of the house. Super rude when she's taken him in, and it was really scary to hear him start yelling out of nowhere.

They put him in our school, he started junior year with me. He started skipping classes on the second day, one morning he wasn't dressed, and my Aunt told he was going to be late for school, and he said he decided not to go that day and went back downstairs.

He leaves the house whenever he wants, never says where he's going. He goes out in the middle of the night. Doesn't even sneak out, just walks out the front door.

He drinks. Like actually drinks. He bought beer and put it in the fridge. He will drink beer with dinner and sometimes lunch.

He watches actual horse races at night on the tv and makes wagers over the phone, and plays cards on his laptop and I'm pretty sure its for real money.

He buys expensive things buy won't talk about where he gets the money from. My Aunt was worried he was selling drugs when he first moved in.

Not long after he moved in, everyone was on edge and my Mom told my Aunt she needed to get him under control, and my Aunt said she didn't know how. How do you discipline someone bigger than you who pretends he can't hear you speak.
They were talking about if and how they could make him leave, and I was so relieved. Then all of a sudden they decided he wasn't so bad:
He started spending time with my cousin, his half sister. Like a lot of time, he looks after her more than my Aunt does. His dog now follows her around the house when he's not home. He literally talks to her more than he talks to all of us combined, and she loves him. My Aunt adores him for this and when he started doing it she cried tears of joy and is now adamant that she won't kick him out.

My Mom lays dow the law and says he has to go to school. I don't know the details but instead he had my Aunt sign some forms and organized to take a test and got an acceptance letter to my first choice college in the city (That I'm worried I won't even be able to get into at all). He's going to start this coming Fall. I don't even know how it's possible and he acts like it was the easiest thing in the world. My Mom and Aunt now think he's a genius and chalk his weirdness up to being a savant or something. I thought at least he'd be moving into the dorms when the semster started, but nope he's not allowed and has to live at home.

Suddenly my Mom is judging my acedemic performance much harsher, and saying I need to work harder. She used to support my hobbies (My friends and I cosplay), now she comments about how much time I spend on it.

He started doing things around the house. First just chores and stuff, then he started fixing things. He painted the kitchen, and repaved the driveway with new concrete. My Mom started talking about how nice it is to have a man in the house, like it's all we've been missing for 12 years. Now she makes me feel like total trash if I forget to do a chore because there's this freak squatting in our basement who can somehow make a new driveway by himself?? I'm supposed to compete with that??

He offered to start paying rent. Still won't say where his money is from, we're now assuming it's gambling because it's all he does.

He was invited to Thanksgiving, and sat with the adults. My Grandfather and Uncle loved him and made plans with him. I felt so stupid being the oldest at the kids table.

He got everyone expensive gifts for Christmas. He got me a Macbook. I mentioned to my Mom how it was weird how he could afford it and she called me ungrateful, and told me to go thank him. (I said thank you but he wouldn't take his headphones off and just ignored me)

I feel like he hates all of us except my niece. My Mom just says he needs some time to adjust and how he's never lived with anyone but his Dad and he must be mourning still and we have to be supportive. But it's been months and he's still like a stranger.

After this my Mom overheard me joke to a friend that we couldn't use the basement because it was flooded with sad boy tears, and she went ballistic on me. I tried to explain that I'm having trouble coping with him and she just called me a brat.
So my Mom and my Aunt now love him now, even though he is still the same scary creep they wanted to kick out a few months ago. It's like living with a wild animal. I've tried to tell my Mom how uncomfortable he makes me and how I don't like how much he's changed our life and she says I'm selfish.

I feel like my Mom doesn't care about my feelings at all, or how I'm coping, and I hate that I'm being compared against him, even though he gets a pass on all the things he does, ranging from rude to illegal.

How can I make my Mom understand? And ideally get him out of my house?

tl;dr "cousin's" (not really related) dad died, came and lived with us, everyone hated him and was going to kick him out, now they all love him and are treating me differently, causing me anxiety but my Mom says I'm being selfish.

Beachcomber fucked around with this message at 05:11 on Jan 13, 2020

Miss
Dec 16, 2006

Ooo I'm a great fan! Whenever I watch TV I'm always saying 'That's political correctness gone mad!'

Why thankyew!


Pillbug

Bless this mess

TheManWithNoName
Oct 20, 2004

Cuz life sucks, kids. Get it while you can.

Pirate Radar
Apr 18, 2008

You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!


Do we want there to be a page-1 superpost of the hits? Pete, Timothy, berth ell pup?

Old Boot
May 9, 2012



Buglord

Pirate Radar posted:

Do we want there to be a page-1 superpost of the hits? Pete, Timothy, berth ell pup?

Eagle Boyfriend.

Daikloktos
Jan 1, 2020



Might I suggest not remaking the thread? It seems unhealthy to engage with this kind of content on a regular basis, maybe it's had a good run but the posters could move on to other pursuits now

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Telebite
Aug 23, 2018



the thread topic is cute and funny if it's talking about a new puppy

Evil Willow
Apr 26, 2007
Bored now...

Given the double post of Pete first up, have something brand new!

AITA for not wanting my husband to get penis enlargement surgery

quote:

My husband has always been a bit insecure about his size. Heís... I donít want to say small but below average. Iíve always assured him this isnít a problem though.

He constantly asks if heís ďgood enoughĒ, which is tiresome but not the end of the world.

Heís very good with his fingers and head, and I canít actually orgasm from penetration anyway, so itís never bothered me. Heís much better than my ex boyfriend, who while was above average didnít use his fingers at all.

My husband today brought up penis enlargement surgery. I told him he was being ridiculous and that heís fine. Heís insisting itís a good idea.

Iíve always thought these are scams anyway, but even if itís legitimate, itís going to end up looking weird and gross, and ultimately is just a terrible idea. I told him he shouldnít do it, and he said that Iím not being supportive and it will make it better for me.

I already know it wonít make it better... and itís just weird that he wants to do this. He said heís going to set up an appointment to see what it entails, and I told him he shouldnít do that. He said he was going to anyway.

AITA? I feel like heís taking this way too far

Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019






Came to make sure Pete was front page. Happy that he is.

bell jar
Feb 25, 2009

Please bitches. If nothing else I am a gentleman

Here's Dog Heelys

Me [32F] with my husband [35 M] of 6 years, went back on his word to invest in me

quote:

Hello! I thought about posting this on r/financialadvice but this is more about my relationship with my husband and my feelings. My husband is a surgeon, who makes quite a lot of money. We're comfortable, but always wanted to retire early. I've had jobs in the past but very low paying and I've never really found a career, but I've always known that I wanted to run my own business.

Four years ago, we made an agreement. He would fund my getting a degree in business, and support us both while I was a full time student. When I got my degree I would start a business, with money from his salary we've been saving for this. Then I would run the business, and when it's successful enough he could retire.

I graduated last semester! =) I'm so happy, it was so much work. While I was a student, my husband and I would always point out businesses, and he'd say "look how well that shoe store is doing you could do that" or I'd say "look at that Chipotle I could run a Chipotle" and it's been really fun for us, but we both always agreed that I'd be the one deciding on the business, because I'd be the one with a business degree. When I need a heart valve replaced I'll call my husband, but I'm the one that knows business, he always loved that.

Well, I found my project, I thought of it while I was walking our Pekingese, and I came home I was so excited, I told him I wanted to start a specialty online shoe store for dogs. This isn't r/financialadvice so I wont dwell on it but it's like Heely's for dogs, with little heel skates, but the sneakers also light up when they walk. I'm 110% sure this would make a lot of money.

But my husband wont support me. He told me we would use our savings to invest in my business when I got my degree, and he still says he will, but not THAT business. We always agreed it was my decision what business I start, and he said LITERALLY ANYTHING BUT THAT. He thought I was kidding but now he gets upset whenever I push it.

Part of me thinks he can't bare for his wife to start making more money than him. I'm worried that he can't go through with the plan because he doesn't want the financial security that'll let him retire early. I don't think he has to retire early it was his idea. I don't know I'm spitballing.

Reddit, what do I do? Do I just go ahead with setting up the business? How do I talk to him about it in a way that wont upset him. I'm really worried our marriage is being really hurt by this.

tl;dr: Husband and I made an agreement, I go to school, get a degree, start a business, he can retire early. Now he doesn't want to because he doesn't like the business.

bell jar
Feb 25, 2009

Please bitches. If nothing else I am a gentleman

Beachcomber posted:

^^^^I hate you.

Might as well Pete up the first page.

Beachcomber
May 21, 2007

Another day in paradise.




Slippery Tilde

Old Boot posted:

Eagle Boyfriend.





bell jar posted:

Here's Dog Heelys

Me [32F] with my husband [35 M] of 6 years, went back on his word to invest in me

Beachcomber
May 21, 2007

Another day in paradise.




Slippery Tilde

Lucrece posted:

Given the double post of Pete first up, have something brand new!

AITA for not wanting my husband to get penis enlargement surgery

Tell him if he likes blowjobs to knock it the hell off.

yikes!
Jul 5, 2006



Soiled Meat

There is no way that Pete story is real

QuarkJets
Sep 8, 2008

It's a handshake in progress


Can the mods please confirm the rumors that everyone is talking about?

That Pick was only banned from the old thread, not the new one?

Chamale
Jul 11, 2010

I'm helping!


yikes! posted:

There is no way that Pete story is real

Some people really are that stupid, and some Petes really do know how to properly deal with stupid people.

SirSamVimes
Jul 21, 2008






Requesting eagle boyfriend and dogcloak cousin so we have the holy trinity here on page one.

edit I should have refreshed.

Yoshi Wins
Jul 14, 2013


Requesting the Fat Gandhi saga as well.

Admiral Ray
May 17, 2014





Daikloktos posted:

Might I suggest not remaking the thread? It seems unhealthy to engage with this kind of content on a regular basis, maybe it's had a good run but the posters could move on to other pursuits now

If you aren't able to handle a constant stream of terrible poo poo without succumbing to it then get the gently caress out of the sewer. I have trained for decades, honing my chakras and communing the the hated dead in order to survive and even thrive on this torrent of disease and pain. It's not for everyone, but it is for me. I fear no r/relationships story, I will always call the OP in r/AITA a stupid piece of poo poo, and I will challenge any dipshit ignorant enough to post in r/relationship_advice to throw off their shackles and finally from the deadweight anchor they call their partner and move on to greatness.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....

QuarkJets posted:

Can the mods please confirm the rumors that everyone is talking about?

That Pick was only banned from the old thread, not the new one?

Please be true.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....

I'm thinking of cutting all contact with my sister (25) and mom (52) after a lifetime of abuse and a horrible family fight which resulted in two car chases and several dangerous incidents

Hey Reddit. Yesterday was one of the worst experiences of my life. Sorry beforehand for my somewhat incoherent writing, but I'm tired and devastated as I'm writing this. As you've already read the title, let's just jump to the story. It's a long one, because it has to be.

My childhood was very abusive, physically but especially mentally. I didn't know about the term back then but I now understand that what my mom did to me, my dad, my sister and even her own mother would be labeled as psychological terror and abuse. My dad and his mother tried their best to protect me and my sister but for many reasons we never really got away from my mom. My dad would try to run away with us when things got real bad but we always ended up staying, we loved and cared for her after all. She's a person that's extremely manipulative and that I've (and probably others around her) always felt sorry for. She has eating disorders, a chronic illness (which I unfortunately also have), no friends, almost no family and a manic and harsh attitude towards most things in life.

When I was in my early teens my parents actually divorced, which felt like a gift from the gods to me since I saw a way out through living with my dad. Their separation was extremely messy and only lasted for a few months, then they were back together. My dad has always been easy to manipulate for my mom and he basically did as she commanded. Then they got divorced again and to my extreme horror I ended up living with my mom. She made up lies about my dad that made me question whether he really loved me and she also forbade me to stay with him. But it gets messier, my sister (she's three years older than me) has always been very much like my mom and she immediately moved in with my dad. My sister didn't want me staying there and threatened and physically abused me if I ever were to go near their apartment. I was stuck with my mom. It was hell, but it resulted in us creating a strong bond to one another. It's true what they say, about hard times bringing people together. I moved out at 16 to go to a different school in another city but I remained financially dependent on my parents.

Fast forward to now. I live with my girlfriend in a city quite far away from my hometown, we're very happy together. Throughout the years I've fought really hard to maintain a relationship with all of my family members, but every once in a while they release a hellstorm on me if I do something they don't like. If I dress too masculine, take a uni course they don't like or have friends they don't approve of they will try to disown me and then expect me to come crawling back in order to be on good terms with them again. I've endured all of this in order to have a relationship with them, and living far away from them have also made it easier. About a week ago me and my girlfriend went to live with my mom for a couple of weeks during our summer vacation, we had been invited and everyone seemed to look forward to it. Living with my mom usually goes quite well if you keep to yourself and make sure the house is tidy, since she has some kind of OCD.

For the first few days it all went according to plan. We did some trips and activities together and everything seemed to be in order. But when we said good morning to her one day during breakfast she just looked at us and didn't answer. This went on for a few days, we did everything to keep her happy. We asked how she was feeling, kept out of the house, cleaned the house and did her favors. One day she just left and didn't come home. We were worried and I asked my sister if she knew where my mom was - she did. My mom had went to stay in my grandmother's apartment in a different town, apparently she couldn't take one more minute with us. At this point both me and my girlfriend felt that we had to leave early and go back to our place, you can only take so much bullshit and I felt scared of what could happen if my mom would get mad. My sister had already started bombarding us with threatening and horrible messages that basically said we had hurt my mom's feelings and that we were a piece of scum. We were originally supposed to stay in my family cabin with my grandmother this weekend and she has no signal there (and therefore there's no way of contacting her) so we took the car to go tell her that we were going home so she wouldn't have to sit around waiting for us. On our way there my sister turned up in her car and started chasing us, she also provoced and scared us by trying to push us out of the road with her car. She drove away and I thought she had gone home to my dad to try to convince him to join their campaign of hate against us (the normal procedure in my family). When we get to the cabin my sister is there. My grandmother and sister starts saying we are weak pieces of poo poo and that I'm being controlled by my girlfriend, who they call abusive. My girlfriend starts crying and my sister laughs at her. I tell them that they're impossible to reason or talk to. We try to leave but my sister runs after us. I lose my cool and show her the middle finger and tells her that it feels like they're not satisfied until I'm dead (they know I suffer from suicidal thoughts from time to time) and she asks me if I'm really going to do it with some twisted tone of happiness in her voice. We drive to my dad's house and he tries his best to take care of us as we're crying.

My mom calls, one of the worst phone calls (if not the worst) of my loving life. She tells me I should slit my wrists, that my girlfriend is a psychopath (because she suffers from anxiety I guess?), that I'm a coward for not wanting to fight with them, that if I leave they will never forgive me and that I will have to choose between my family and my girlfriend. I keep my calm and tell her how I feel but she seems to be psychotic, which is ironic since she tried to convince me during the whole call that me and my girlfriend is psychotic and that we need to go the ER immediately. We hang up.

My dad, who is appalled by my moms behavior at this point, tells us that we have to leave and that nothing good will come from talking to them anymore. We agree and start driving home (it's like a 7 hour drive). As we're driving it seems like everyone is trying to get a hold of us, my sister, my mom and both their live-in boyfriends. Their abusive words echoes in my head. After two hours we spot my moms car on the road, she's going in the opposite direction but turns her car around and starts chasing us just like my sister did before. She points her middle finger at us while looking at us with the craziest eyes and then proceeds to overtake our car. My girlfriend is screaming for her life and I just try to avoid colliding into her car as she suddenly brakes, forcing us to pull our car to the side of the road. She jumps out of her car, forces the car door on my side open and starts tugging at me. She tried hitting me but pulls out the car keys with great force instead, all while my girlfriend is screaming and my mom tells me "not to loving play around with our family". She drives away in her own car with our car keys and leaves us stranded by a deserted road, unable to go anywhere. We're crying, scared that she will come back and beat the living hell out of us (unfortunately a realistic scenario in my family). I call up my dad who starts driving to pick us up, but he's two hours away. We sit by the cold, deserted road for over two hours before help (if you can call it that) arrives in the form of my mom's boyfriend who tries to talk us into going back to my hometown. He says he'll try to get the key back from my mom and actually manages to do just that. We start driving, extremely afraid, and arrive at our apartment at 4am. Today I blocked both my mom and my sister on social media, since they've sent the nastiest texts I've ever received. Me, my girlfriend and my dad is in great shock - things like this have happened several times before in my life but it was a while ago now and experiencing it with my girlfriend (who stood up for me and called bullshit on the situation) kind of opened my eyes to this abuse. Is it worth cutting off all contact with my family over this? And how do I go about it? How do you manage to actually stay away when you've been brainwashed not to?

I found out what they were mad about from the beginning. They thought I didn't hang out with them enough, and that I don't visit as often as I should. So they're basically mad because I have my own life.

TL;DR: Me and my girlfriend of 9 months visited my hometown and stayed at my moms place, we were abused and treated badly by my mom and my sister and then tried to leave which resulted in two car chases and a horrible situation.



subpar anachronism
Jan 15, 2005

I think I'll try drinkin' tonight.


QuarkJets posted:

Can the mods please confirm the rumors that everyone is talking about?

That Pick was only banned from the old thread, not the new one?

It's been thousands of pages, give pick a chance mods

Mill Town
Apr 17, 2006



yikes! posted:

There is no way that Pete story is real

Can we not do this? I get that picking things apart makes you feel really great in both the cranium and the pants but in the last thread it happened for every post and contributed nothing but noise. Please just don't.

SCROTO TURBOSPERG
Jan 21, 2007



Xenocides posted:

I'm thinking of cutting all contact with my sister (25) and mom (52) after a lifetime of abuse and a horrible family fight which resulted in two car chases and several dangerous incidents



oh, that old chestnut

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....

bell jar posted:

Here's Dog Heelys

Me [32F] with my husband [35 M] of 6 years, went back on his word to invest in me

I went back and looked at the Dog heely comments:

My 70 pound Dutch Shepherd would freak the gently caress out if I ever tried any kind of "dog shoes". He does not bite but I might almost understand if he did bite me on the rear end for giving him dog roller skates that light up.

In OP's defense, the dog rollerskate market probably isn't very saturated.

my husband suggested they should do it anyway, for the tax writeoff of the business losing money.

I have an idea. Tennis racquets for cats. I believe this is a $12 billion a year industry. How much would you like to invest?

He probably realized the degree you got was a waste when you came up with dog skates. Response: Maybe it was from the University of Phoenix or ITT Tech.

Mill Town
Apr 17, 2006



For some content, please enjoy this mess of a college relationship:


My (20F) girlfriend blocked me (20M) on everything because i said i was going to sleep early

quote:

I am currently in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend for about 1 year and i have known her for 5 and i have not gotten the chance to see her in some months because of school, since then we've missed each other a lot and we talk on the phone everyday. i try to talk to her as much as i can despite the fact i work 30 hours out of the week and go to school full time. while sometimes we argue and she sometimes will block me on whatsapp and IG , there have been times where she has been as mad as she is currently, but we usually always make up.

so yesterday, she was having an extremely rough day and she is the kind of person when she is mad or stressed over something she does not like to talk to me , and when she does talk to me she sometimes will be passive aggressive over something. when i found out what was stressing her out this morning she sent me a text saying "i'm not mad at you, but please don't talk to me today , please for once respect the fact i need space" so i didn't. After i came back from work she texted me while i was studying, and we talked for a bit and then she called me . after a short conversation i said "i'm probably going to sleep a little early tonight because i have to get up super early tomorrow, after i said that her demeanor changed...she said "well if your just gonna sleep, ill talk to you later" and she hung up , i tried to call her back but she then stated she was upset because i was trying to shut her down and that all she wanted to do was talk, and i told her i wasn't saying i want to cut the conversation, i just wanted to let her know id be sleeping in early. she then stated that after the day she was having she just wanted to talk to me and that i wasn't putting in any effort to try and comfort her. i tried apologizing and telling her i wasn't trying to send an indirect message of " i don't want to talk now i want to sleep" but she didn't relive me and left me on read.

after that i fell asleep and i wake up to a text reading something like this.

"your a liar i call and 2 min into the conversation you immediately want to shut it down. i cant count on you for anything. don't try contacting me again. im tired of being there for people who wont be there for me. your a selfish person. im done with you, go find someone who does what i do for you because im done with you. i cant love someone who doesn't care about me. i don't care if you offer to help out all i wanted was to talk to you . the min i need you, your not there . leave me alone, move on because i sure will, im blocking you so don't contact me again. goodbye"

now, i know while most will see this and say its over, this isn't the first time i have received a text much like this one, but every time it happens i still feel like poo poo and i just want to show her im sorry and figure out some way to fix this. she has always been more of the type of person that if she feels hurt she will try to say something to hurt me back. in the past i would just go see her and it would work out or i would just give her some space and she would then slowly forgive me, but now im unsure if that will work. what do i do? what CAN i do if she blocked me on everything? i love this girl to death and i want to marry her but im unsure of how to handle this

Edit 1: Wow..I'm honestly baffled by the amount of traction this post received, hearing all your stories has made me feel loved. I'll try to get to everyone's pm and messages but wow. Honestly yall, I feel for once in a long time I'm NOT alone . Bless all of you and I thank you from the bottom of my heart . And for the one person who asked if I was Asian...I'm not lol I'm mixed with latino and black my girlfriend is latina . I will give an update when everything is settled !

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....

SCROTO TURBOSPERG posted:

oh, that old chestnut

I know I should not have skipped ahead on the last thread.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Dec 22, 2005

GET LOSE, YOU CAN'T COMPARE WITH MY POWERS


Floss Finder

Xenocides posted:

Please be true.

Pirate Radar
Apr 18, 2008

You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!


r/LegalAdviceUK
Criminal
Am living in stirling UK do i need a permit to hunt ducks during open season?

quote:

u/Minostz1279d
Am concidering having an attempt at huntin, i did some reasercha nd it isnt clear if i need a permit or not?

Top comment and response from the OP:

quote:

Do you mean like with a gun, or just chucking stuff at ducks in the hope of twatting one hard enough to kill it?

quote:

The latter

cock hero flux
Apr 17, 2011





Mill Town posted:



My (20F) girlfriend blocked me (20M) on everything because i said i was going to sleep early

quote:

I am currently in a long distance relationship
not anymore, no

hi liter
Oct 2, 2010




I thought we werenít posting abuse stories?

LOVE LOVE SKELETON
Nov 11, 2007



Lipstick Apathy

this thread is my 'little buddy' in that if pressed i would deny any relation to it.

Pirate Radar
Apr 18, 2008

You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!


hi liter posted:

I thought we werenít posting abuse stories?

Yeah, I donít think that one makes the cut. Itís notably insane for the car chases but otherwise just sad.

I think people are more okay with stories that include abuse among their elements* when thereís a sort of resolution, if itís a success story of ďI separated myself from my terrible family.Ē Maybe if that story gets an update in the future itíll be more worth featuring in this thread. But as it is itís just a story of terrible things happening to people who donít deserve them and without the perpetrators getting justice.

*I think thereís a case to be made for a difference between a story that includes abuse, and an abuse story

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Smirking_Serpent
Aug 27, 2009






Buglord

Boyfriend (31M) gets angry when I (33F) told him abt meeting my guy friends from Tinder for dinner.

I dated these 2 guys (at different times) way before meeting my current boyfriend. It didn't worked out and eventually we became friends and i would meet them individually once every 4-6 mths just to catch up.. on life in general. One of them is even married now!

I've been with my boyfriend for about 6mths and we've known each other for almost a year. I recently told him im meeting a guy friend for dinner and he flew into a rage when he found out that we met on tinder. I got mad and we had a big fight. He insisted that platonic friendships do not exist and because of the circumstances of how i met these guys there will always be "something" 🙄 Which i find it totally ridiculous.

Eventually we both cool down and sorta talked about it. I guess i kinda understand his concerns so i caved and said i will not meet them anymore until he's okay with it.

But on hindsight, I'm really not sure if this was the right way to deal with the situation. This is my first relationship in a really long time. And im trying to make things work as much as possible. My only other past relationship was in my early 20s and it didn't work out because i was way too immature. So im in need of some relationship advice. What should be the right way to handle this?

TL;DR Bf 31M gets jealous/angry when i 33f told him about meeting my guy friend for dinner. Met the guy on tinder and we became friends after dating for a few mths.

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