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Sisal Two-Step
May 29, 2006

mom without jaw
dad without wife


Barudak posted:

So you put a ring on this because?

op posted:

Heís actually a very smart, funny, sweet and good looking guy. It wasnít hard to fall for him when we hooked up in college. He does a lot of things Iím not a fan of but all relationships are about compromise

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limp_cheese
Sep 9, 2007

japanese hardcore sex videos fotos los simpson porn16 yrs old porn I NEVER ACTUALLY FACEFUCKED A DEER I JUST brandy ledford nude pics SAID I DID, IT WAS A CLEVER JOKE


Sisal Two-Step posted:

Husband (28m) is planning on hiring a homeless “black” man to go to our 10 year HS reunion this summer. I’m (28f) a little crossed out at his racism, he says I need to “lighten up.”

I think I understand why everyone was sick of this dude by the time he graduated.

Lol that this woman doesn't understand what an "eighth of cocaine" means.

This guy is an idiot of course but I love his generous offer of not just $500 but cocaine roo. No wonder the homeless people like him.

Hughlander
May 11, 2005



AITA for not going to a wedding after my platonic SO ("Boston Marriage") of 18 years wasn't invited?

quote:

I am currently 42F as is platonic soulmate Betty.

Now that weddings are happening here however with guest limitations the invites are coming in.

I currently have an issue with a friend of mine who has opted to extend a plus one to another friend Lora, who has only been with her boyfriend for <6 months but not to myself so I can bring Betty who I've been living with for the last 18 years. It would have been fine if Betty had gotten a separate invite as she is friends with the bride too but she didn't.

When I received the invite with no plus 1s I was a bit hurt because we've always had the invite extended to us ever since we purchased a house together 16 years ago.

So when I was catching up with Lora, she mentioned that she was bringing her boyfriend to the wedding so I asked if she got a plus 1 and she said yes and then asked me I got one for Betty or if Betty was invited. I said no, there was an awkward pause so I just said, it's hard with guest limits and we moved on.

I ended up RSVPing no however because it's her wedding and I wasn't going to make a fuss. I figured it wouldn't be a big deal but I got a call from the bride asking me for a reason. I kept deflecting but she starting asking if she had offended me or was it because we hadn't kept in touch much during lockdown so I thought I would be honest and tell her it was because Betty hadn't been invited. She pointed out that Betty wasn't my SO and I told her Betty is my platonic SO and had been for 18 years where as Lora had only known her bloke for less than 6 months so he hardly counts as an SO.

She said I was being unreasonable because the SO title was for romantic relationships and weddings are to celebrate romantic unions but I told her I felt it was unreasonable that Betty hadn't been invited. She told me I couldn't dictate her guest list and and I could tell things weren't going to be resolved so I finished the call by telling her that under no circumstance was I wanting her to extend an invite to Betty if she felt her guest list couldn't accommodate it but she should respect that I had RSVP'd no. I also wished her all the best for her wedding day. She was still not happy but accepted the outcome of the call (or so I thought).

I think she's gone and vented to Lora because Lora reached out to me. She said gently, I should go because the bride had basically escaped an abusive marriage and found love so her first wedding didn't really count. I told Lora though that I'm a little over my relationship being 2nd tier all the time when it's outlasted most of my friend's marriages. Lora said she understood and agreed Betty should be invited but it was a shame because the bride is torn up because we've been friends for nearly 20 years and she felt she didn't have my support. I told Lora though that I also felt after 20 years of friendship, I didn't have support for my relationship either.

Not going to lie, looked at this one just for seeing Boston Marriage in TYOOL 2021

Mr. Lobe
Feb 23, 2007

... Dry bones...




I'm with the boston wife on this one

Barudak
May 7, 2007



So a Boston Marriage is what the asexuals call marriage now or is it in reference to they'd be common law married in any state that recognized it but decided rather than get married they'd just buy a house together.

Zulily Zoetrope
Jun 1, 2011






Muldoon

empty sea posted:

This might be the dumbest, most picky man alive. His children at birth have different eye colors or hair colors than him or his wife and he's full out rejecting them after DNA tests confirm they are his. Even goddamn animals aren't that picky. gently caress's sake, give a few years and calm down. Maybe just be ecstatic your weird ginger genes didn't dominate.

I thought kids only got darker eyes/hair as they got older? Like itís common for a baby to be blonde and blue-eyed, and then grow into hazel eyes and brown hair, but Iíve never heard of it going the other way.

Dude will never love his kids.

GlyphGryph
Jun 23, 2013


Barudak posted:

So a Boston Marriage is what the asexuals call marriage now or is it in reference to they'd be common law married in any state that recognized it but decided rather than get married they'd just buy a house together.

It means long term platonic (well, sometimes romantic, but not in a romantic relationship) domestic partners. No more, no less. Similar to the "heterosexual life partner" or "bromance" trope for guys, except they don't need to be heterosexual, and they definitely don't need to be asexual, but they do need to live together.

I think?

A HUNGRY MOUTH
Nov 3, 2006

date of birth: 02/05/88
manufacturer: mazda
model/year: 2008 mazda6
sexuality: straight, bi-curious
peircings: pusspuss





Nap Ghost

Malcolm Excellent posted:

You know the guy that didn't want to spend $16 on dinner with his girlfriend didn't make an amazing tomato base.

He probably mixed a can of campbell's chunky with water.

All I'll say is that once you reach a certain level of home cook brain, you start looking at restaurant menus like you're wearing the sunglasses from They Live.

Then you either resign yourself to the idea that you're paying 'extra' for a nice night out where you can relax & don't have to cook or clean dishes, or you go fully demented and wind up buying dried legumes by the pallet in order to shave two cents off the cost per serving

Bug Squash
Mar 18, 2009


YOU CAN STOMP US!

YOU CAN SQUASH US!

BUT YOU'LL NEVER EVER STOP US!


Zulily Zoetrope posted:

I thought kids only got darker eyes/hair as they got older? Like it’s common for a baby to be blonde and blue-eyed, and then grow into hazel eyes and brown hair, but I’ve never heard of it going the other way.

Dude will never love his kids.

My kid's eyes turned ice blue from dark blue a couple of months after being born. Looks nothing like my eyes but I don't care because 1) I'm not a monster, and 2) that colour is kick rear end and brings much glory to the family.

Sisal Two-Step
May 29, 2006

mom without jaw
dad without wife


GlyphGryph posted:

It means long term platonic (well, sometimes romantic, but not in a romantic relationship) domestic partners. No more, no less. Similar to the "heterosexual life partner" or "bromance" trope for guys, except they don't need to be heterosexual, and they definitely don't need to be asexual, but they do need to live together.

I think?

I think "Boston Marriage" is an old term that refers to two single women who lived together. It's basically code for lesbians during a time where people didn't believe that women could have sex drives. It's kind of charming to see it used in TYOOL 2021.

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20 - 4/2/20





Barudak posted:

So a Boston Marriage is what the asexuals call marriage now or is it in reference to they'd be common law married in any state that recognized it but decided rather than get married they'd just buy a house together.

It's a reference to an old(100+ years) book where two women lived together, sharing income.

The thing that makes me side with the OP is the fact that Op's been with her Partner for 20+ years and is also friends with the bride at this point. But the bride didn't invite her, then reached out to find out why OP wasn't coming knowing full well why. It reeks to me of a power move or trying to start drama and getting mad that the target is being the bigger person.

Bug Squash posted:

My kid's eyes turned ice blue from dark blue a couple of months after being born. Looks nothing like my eyes but I don't care because 1) I'm not a monster, and 2) that colour is kick rear end and brings much glory to the family.

My eyes changed color a few times during my life and my niece's hair has gone from bright blonde to brown. Though it sounds like dad wanted a red-headed kid and is mad it didn't happen.

Kurieg fucked around with this message at 18:06 on May 4, 2021

Barudak
May 7, 2007



Thanks for explanation

OP is totally in the right about the invites, but it weirds me out they're doing a ton of financial intertwining without marriage.

SneezeOfTheDecade
Feb 6, 2011

2:35PM, 5 April 2017.
153 decibels.
Caused the cat actual harm.



Barudak posted:

So a Boston Marriage is what the asexuals call marriage now or is it in reference to they'd be common law married in any state that recognized it but decided rather than get married they'd just buy a house together.

It's specifically two women living together long-term without relying on anyone else for support, and the term's been around since the 1860s at least: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boston_marriage

e: that's what I get for not refreshing the page

SneezeOfTheDecade fucked around with this message at 18:23 on May 4, 2021

Malcolm Excellent
May 20, 2007





Buglord

Boston Marriages are when both partners are diehard red sox fans.

Mr. Lobe
Feb 23, 2007

... Dry bones...




Barudak posted:

Thanks for explanation

OP is totally in the right about the invites, but it weirds me out they're doing a ton of financial intertwining without marriage.

I guess it might be weird to be married if you're not into kissing and having sex with each other

Even if it might be financially pragmatic

Scaevolus
Apr 16, 2007



Bride is so focused on the "SO" part of the wedding invite that she forgets that she can just invite whoever she wants and rules lawyering herself into being a jerk is not actually a good look.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.


Malcolm Excellent posted:

Boston Marriages are when both partners are diehard red sox fans.

I don't see what's so special about that; quite a few marriages are sunk investment into failure.

Tarkus
Aug 27, 2000

Finally...

Scaevolus posted:

Bride is so focused on the "SO" part of the wedding invite that she forgets that she can just invite whoever she wants and rules lawyering herself into being a jerk is not actually a good look.

I know right! I've seen countless weddings where people bring a good friend for the plus one. This isn't about the definition of SO for Op's friend, I suspect she doesn't want what could be perceived as a lesbian couple there despite the fact that they're not.

Sisal Two-Step
May 29, 2006

mom without jaw
dad without wife


Scaevolus posted:

Bride is so focused on the "SO" part of the wedding invite that she forgets that she can just invite whoever she wants and rules lawyering herself into being a jerk is not actually a good look.

What's odd to me is that Betty is also a friend of the bride, so excluding her does seem like an intentional snub.

Zulily Zoetrope
Jun 1, 2011






Muldoon

Bug Squash posted:

My kid's eyes turned ice blue from dark blue a couple of months after being born. Looks nothing like my eyes but I don't care because 1) I'm not a monster, and 2) that colour is kick rear end and brings much glory to the family.

Oh yeah, I'm not saying it's a strict one-way line; I've also known kids who grew from like baby blonde to platinum blonde, and it's not uncommon for your eyes to get blue once your hair starts turning white, but I think dark hair and hazel/brown eyes are at the end of a one-way street wrt baby colors.

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

SEXY... defines my posts and my ride


Bug Squash posted:

My kid's eyes turned ice blue from dark blue a couple of months after being born.
Did you start feeding them less spice?

limp_cheese
Sep 9, 2007

japanese hardcore sex videos fotos los simpson porn16 yrs old porn I NEVER ACTUALLY FACEFUCKED A DEER I JUST brandy ledford nude pics SAID I DID, IT WAS A CLEVER JOKE


Hughlander posted:

AITA for not going to a wedding after my platonic SO ("Boston Marriage") of 18 years wasn't invited?



Not going to lie, looked at this one just for seeing Boston Marriage in TYOOL 2021

quote:

I should go because the bride had basically escaped an abusive marriage and found love so her first wedding didn't really count.

Lol what kind of excuse is that? "Abusive marriages don't count" is a new one. I'm glad OP has a spine and is saying the things I would say. I'm assuming this

Tarkus posted:

I suspect she doesn't want what could be perceived as a lesbian couple there despite the fact that they're not.

is why the bride is acting the way she is. Even though they have been friends for 20 years there may have never been a situation where the bride had to direcrly deal with their sitation in a way that affects the bride.

Scaevolus
Apr 16, 2007



Sisal Two-Step posted:

What's odd to me is that Betty is also a friend of the bride, so excluding her does seem like an intentional snub.
I assume Betty isn't as close as a friend, and the bride thinks it's ok to split the invites and skip one of them, but obviously you can't only invite one part of a couple, so 6-month boyfriend is fine.

Fruits of the sea
Dec 1, 2010


GlyphGryph posted:

But that has definitely caused friction with friends without me realizing it was going to. Sometimes, I suspect, because they were planning on using the cost as an excuse not to go even though they didn't want to go for an unrelated reason... but sometimes because apparently the offer alone made them unhappy and made them feel bad about their financial situation. And it's something I have trouble really understanding, although I have since modified my behaviour in response to their concerns.

It can definitely stir up some unexpected feelings in folks. I remember becoming extremely bitter about the wealth distribution in my University town after going through a year where I sometimes couldn't afford food after rent. Developed a weird contempt for some of the exchange students, since their parents were rich and they lived lives of (relative) luxury. Thinking back, I was suffering from depression and eating oatmeal and pasta with ketchup for a month did a number on me.
I also remember having to spend literal weeks persuading a friend it was ok to come to a Christmas dinner I was hosting for a circle of friends. He couldn't afford to bring presents or an extra dish of food that year and felt terrible about it, while we all just wanted to see him regardless

Basically it's weirdly emotional to realize other people in one's friend group are on a totally different level financially and people don't always deal with it well.

Fruits of the sea fucked around with this message at 19:15 on May 4, 2021

hawowanlawow
Jul 27, 2009



wedding ~rules~ are always funny

Arsenic Lupin
Apr 11, 2012

This particularly rapid unintelligible patter isn't generally heard, and if it is, it doesn't matter.





Zulily Zoetrope posted:

Oh yeah, I'm not saying it's a strict one-way line; I've also known kids who grew from like baby blonde to platinum blonde, and it's not uncommon for your eyes to get blue once your hair starts turning white, but I think dark hair and hazel/brown eyes are at the end of a one-way street wrt baby colors.
Really? Did not know. The blue of my eyes has faded a bit, or maybe it's just that they no longer contrast with the dark hair.

Vim Fuego
Jun 1, 2000

I just had an epiphany: the internet is useless!





Ultra Carp

Mr. Lobe posted:

I wonder what the husband thinks the nature and purpose of a gift is

gifts are just a way of enforcing your beliefs on others

the holy poopacy
May 16, 2009



Fun Shoe

Scaevolus posted:

I assume Betty isn't as close as a friend, and the bride thinks it's ok to split the invites and skip one of them, but obviously you can't only invite one part of a couple, so 6-month boyfriend is fine.

splitting up a tightly knit friend cluster is an obvious minefield even if you're less close with some of them personally, so unless OP is reaaaally overstating the degree of familiarity between the bride and Betty it's hard not to read it as a deliberate snub.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

I just couldn't look at your old avatar anymore
Fucking nauseating!


AITA for not eating my noodles?

quote:

Every Christian holiday my family gets together at my moms. This year it's immediate family only (my siblings, mother and myself).

Every year it's a big big meal no matter the holiday.

A my mother's house, my brother still lives here, so he buys lots of instant noodles. Given that my mom is occupied in the kitchen leaving me no room to cook myself, I stay out of her way and only make myself microwaveable noodles. It's become a habit over the years.

However, I do have a particular habit when eating noodles. Before I "cook" them - as much as you can cook noodles at all - I break the noodle brick in about half and throw away half. I find that a full noodle pack is too filling, and I won't have room for the big family meal later in the day. It also makes no sense to cook the noodles I know I won't eat.

My family thinks this is wasteful. I agree it's wasteful, but I also don't think it's such a big deal.

the cost of the noodles is 47 cents per pack if you buy them individually. The noodles themselves aren't even a huge part of that cost when you consider the packaging and broth-mix. At most I'll concede to wasting 10-15 cents of food because my mom also buys them in bulk which reduces the cost per pack significantly.

I don't think it's healthy to force myself to eat more than I feel comfortable eating.

I don't want to waste the actual meal later in the day, which costs more, is more nutritious, and which my mom puts effort into cooking.

My family maintains that none of this is the point. I know that I won't finish the noodles, so they believe I shouldn't even open the package if I know I'll be throwing half to waste.

If I agreed with that point, it would mean that I agree I should never have noodle packs, ever, because this is how I eat them at home as well. I will often have half the noodles and all of the broth and add in microwaved veggies plus spices to make it taste a little better and be a bit healthier for a cheap and easy meal.... on the odd occasion I even elect to have noodles. The noodles themselves are not healthy or nutritious, and replacing it with more broth is just how I like to eat them.

My family didn't call me an rear end in a top hat, but they said that it was wrong and they were pretty judgemental about it.

AITA?

"Why don't you save them for later?"

It's Easter. Like I prefaced this with, I come to my mom's for Christian holidays and there's always a big big meal. Part of why I refrain from eating all of the noodles is because I want room for later in order to not waste my mother's meal. And after the meal, I get left overs from the meal to bring home which are enough for several days. Am I really obligated to travel 15 grams of noodles over several cities to eat them a couple days later in order to not be an rear end in a top hat? To me, that seems silly.

Midnight Voyager
Jul 2, 2008

Hence, nothing remains except our regrets.



Lipstick Apathy

pentyne posted:

AITA for not eating my noodles?

Okay dude you're already just making your own meal. Use basic ingredients instead of these noodle packs.

oh jay
Oct 15, 2012



pentyne posted:

AITA for not eating my noodles?

Instant noodles are like 350 calories. Throwing away half the noodles, even if you add some veggies, that leaves a "meal" of 200 calories. How small is this person that that leaves them too full? That's like a bag of lays and a coffee with cream.

SneezeOfTheDecade
Feb 6, 2011

2:35PM, 5 April 2017.
153 decibels.
Caused the cat actual harm.



AITA for Not Allowing my Daughters to Have a Playdate with a Girl who Has a Cochlear Implant?

quote:

So I have 2 daughter (Both 7F) 1 is Deaf and 1 is hearing. They both go to a school which is down the street from our apartment that teaches sign language. It's not really a Deaf school as they also allow hearing people.It's technically a public school so even if my daughter wasn't deaf we would still be zoned for it. But we did decide to live here before we adopted a Deaf child so that all of our kids, deaf or hearing could go to school together. Also I am a CODA (Child of Deaf adults),went to school for deaf studies and am a teacher of the deaf at a different school for the deaf in our city.

Over lockdown my daughters met a girl (9F,Lily) in our building who is also deaf but doesn't sign and has a CI. When I first met her I automatically assumed she went to the ASL school since we live on the same block as it.A few months ago I met her parents and asked which teachers class she was in at the school. Her mom told me she was sending her to an oral deaf school which doesn't allow sign language and is 20 minutes away because she hates the public schools around here.

I thought maybe she didn't know that we were zoned for a sign language school so I told her and she got mad and said teaching deaf children sign language is bad for them and will stunt their development. I tried to explain that I work with Deaf kids and I don't think that's true but she kept trying to explain it to me as if I had no clue what I was talking about. She also said that I'm a horrible person when she found out my Deaf daughter doesn't have a CI. I tried to tell her I didn't want to explain my daughters entire medical history but she said I'm just making excuses for my bad parenting.

Needless to say, we didn't have a good first impression but our girls got along so I figured I wouldn't punish her kid for her mom being annoying. One day Lily was at our house and she had picked up a few signs from playing with my daughters and then her mom called me later and yelled at me for letting my daughter teach her sign. I apologized and said I didn't think it was a huge deal but I guess she did.

Then I let my daughters go to their apartment and apparently she wasn't letting my Deaf daughter sign and whenever she would ask for something Lily's mom would try to coach her into saying it and my daughter does not have good speech and so she was really embarrassed.After that I said they couldn't go to their house anymore but Lily could still come over.

But I guess Lily learned from her mom because the next time she was at our house she was trying to make my Deaf daughter speak, she kept doing it after both me and her asked her to stop so I told my girls that I didn't think it was a good idea to play with Lily anymore. Then her mom called me and yelled at me, she claimed I'm only doing this because I don't like that Lily uses CI's. I tried to explain it has nothing to do with that but she was just saying this is discrimination. AITA here? Should I let them play with Lily and am I being unfair to her?

Hughlander
May 11, 2005



oh jay posted:

Instant noodles are like 350 calories. Throwing away half the noodles, even if you add some veggies, that leaves a "meal" of 200 calories. How small is this person that that leaves them too full? That's like a bag of lays and a coffee with cream.

Add in the full sodium 'flavor' pack and you're probably bloated from all the broth you're absorbing as well

yikes!
Jul 5, 2006




Soiled Meat

oh jay posted:

Instant noodles are like 350 calories. Throwing away half the noodles, even if you add some veggies, that leaves a "meal" of 200 calories. How small is this person that that leaves them too full? That's like a bag of lays and a coffee with cream.

lol goons will get judgemental about literally anything i guess

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

I just couldn't look at your old avatar anymore
Fucking nauseating!


SneezeOfTheDecade posted:

AITA for Not Allowing my Daughters to Have a Playdate with a Girl who Has a Cochlear Implant?

The deaf community especially regarding CI is like the disability community's equivalent of YA Twitter.

oh jay
Oct 15, 2012



yikes! posted:

lol goons will get judgemental about literally anything i guess

Do these sound like the actions of a man who had all he could eat?

JonathonSpectre
Jul 23, 2003

I replaced the Shermatar and text with this because I don't wanna see racial slurs every time you post what the fuck


Soiled Meat

ghost emoji posted:

I'm pro Chipotle wedding

I've been to more than one wedding with a taco bar. Tacos and burritos at a wedding might get a little messy, but if it's a casual reception it shouldn't be a problem. And like they said, it's great for vegetarian guests, who are normally used to choosing between a plate of steamed vegetables or a watery salad.

I have DJed over 100 weddings. I've been in weddings that cost $15,000 and weddings that cost $150,000.

In all that time, I've seen ONE wedding where I wouldn't prefer Chipotle to whatever ridiculous bacon-wrapped reheated scallop at $250 a plate horseshit was served. That was the wedding where the entire thing, wedding, reception, dinner, and party combined was just a huge crab/shrimp boil on the beach where the crabs/shrimp had come out of the Gulf about 30 minutes prior to eating.

Food is absolutely one of the places where wedding companies get you. They'll start you off with a "reasonable" $50 per plate meal and by the time they've filled your empty loving head with just how elegant serving a fuckload of strangers duck bits for only an extra $30/person and getting the real silverware for only $12/person and and and and then you end up with $250 a person.

tl;dr serve Chipotle at your wedding. gently caress's sake, serve Taco Bell at your wedding rather than pay what wedding companies and caterers will ask.

Arsenic Lupin
Apr 11, 2012

This particularly rapid unintelligible patter isn't generally heard, and if it is, it doesn't matter.





pentyne posted:

The deaf community especially regarding CI is like the disability community's equivalent of YA Twitter.

It's a conversational hotspot, but it seems to me that the parent who is raising her Deaf children with sign did a lot more to accommodate the other kid than did the mother who is raising her child speech-only.

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007




Grimey Drawer

Any venue that says that you must serve their food is absolutely going to gently caress you hard and give you substandard food for the price you end up paying per plate.

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ponzicar
Mar 17, 2008


I guess my autism spectrum disorder is showing here, but why the gently caress didn't Boston marriage lady just immediately phone her friend and ask to bring Betty as a plus one when she got the invitation? If it was a mistake it would have been immediately corrected, and if it was a snub, the bride would have to either own up to it or back down.

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