Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us $3,400 per month for bandwidth bills alone, and since we don't believe in shoving popup ads to our registered users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
«644 »
  • Post
  • Reply
Barudak
May 7, 2007



As a personal favor unless we decide to let pick run wild and free in this new thread please consider it still under the previous rules of a no-pick zone including discussion.

For those concerned she remains on SA and can be frequently found in other threads, especially animation related.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Pirate Radar
Apr 18, 2008

You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!


Posters: Everything was fine with the thread until the posting grid was shut off by pickless here!

Mayor: Is this true?

Posters: Yes, it’s true. This thread has no Pick.

teen witch
Oct 9, 2012




Pick kramers in with some white hot white lady ignorance and any attempt of her defending herself involves shovels and digging bigger holes. I don’t buy the “oh widdle me I didn’t know” schtick, and her absence makes the thread better.

She’s been told off numerous times and is literally known for being just so adowabwy ignowant so yeah, nah, let’s not have her back.

quote:

AITA for “disrupting” a photoshoot?
u/Summerstrom20h
I was at Malibu two days ago and noticed a model I absolutely love. She was doing a photoshoot and had a crew of four people working with her. They were in a pretty isolated area between big rocks on the beach. I was with my friend, but he didn’t know the model and doesn’t like blondes with fake boobs. She’s so adorable though. I told him to give me a few minutes. I didn’t want to bother them so I stood about 60 feet away and started recording her with my phone. No one else was around besides my friend, who was embarrassed by me and stood a quite a bit away. It didn’t seem like the crew was prohibiting people from watching them work though.

After about 40 seconds of recording, one of the crew members told me that I couldn’t record them and needed to delete the video. I asked him why I had to and he just told me that I had to and to stop being a nuisance. I told him that I was not doing anything illegal. He told me to hand my phone over to him. I told him I wasn’t going to. This back and forth went on for some time and another crew member and the model herself walked over. She covered her torso with a towel first. The other crew member told me that I had to delete the video so nothing unofficial will be leaked. I asked him if that was so and he said that it was.

I greeted the model and told her I was a huge fan of hers. She was very cute, very bubbly. She told me she wanted to see what I took. I handed my phone over to her and she said that it was fine if I kept it and promised not to share it online. I thanked her and gave her my word. I was blushing and stumbling my words at this point, but I asked her if I could get a photo with her. She said sure. I asked the two crew members if either of them could take a photo of us. The second crew member seemed reluctant, but he took one. I took a look at it and thanked everyone. The first crew member thanked me for disrupting the photoshoot. I apologized to them but the model said it was fine. I heard the first crew member say “what a loser” when I already turned my back and was about 20 feet away from them and the second crew member and even the model giggled a bit. His comment made me feel very bad about myself.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....

Miss posted:

never change, reddit

Counterpoint:

My [26M] with my girlfriend [25F] and her weird Nazi fetish. She wants me to dress up like an SS officer during sex.

This came up last night and I've had a hard time getting on a grip on its since. I'm just going to say it outright, my girlfriend is Jewish. I was raised Catholic.

I've been going steady with my girlfriend for two years now. I honestly love her. We've been through a lot of trauma (the death of her sister and my mother) and have really grown through it.

We always have sex a little on the kinky side (handcuffs, that sort of thing) but lately my girlfriend has been wanting to take it to the next level and we agreed roleplaying could be kind of fun. I asked her what her biggest fantasy is and she said that she used to masturbate to a fantasy that she was being tortured by a Nazi. She said she'd really like it if I could dress up like an SS officer and "force" her to have sex.

This really, really, really makes me uncomfortable, and now in a "I can't do that fetish" sort of way, but in a "I'm not sure I can continue this relationship" sort of way. What do I do? Am I overreacting? Is this harmless or does she need counseling?

tl;dr: My girlfriend has a Nazi fetish



Sick and depraved. I mean who still calls dating exclusively “going steady”? Also, the Nazi thing

The comments are interesting:

“This isn't that strange at all. The SS uniform has been sexuilzed for a long time, hit up any bdsm website and your sure to run into a stylized version of the uniform. Hell in any war based anime there will be at least 1 chick in a SS based uniform.” It is in my cartoons so it is okay?

“That's like a once in a live time chance. You have to give it a shot”

So, in conclusion, please change Reddit. Please.

VanSandman
Feb 16, 2011
SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

teen witch posted:

Pick kramers in with some white hot white lady ignorance and any attempt of her defending herself involves shovels and digging bigger holes. I don’t buy the “oh widdle me I didn’t know” schtick, and her absence makes the thread better.

She’s been told off numerous times and is literally known for being just so adowabwy ignowant so yeah, nah, let’s not have her back.

Pick's old money ignorance is hilarious because she's just another depressed 30-something somewhere on the spectrum like the rest of us.

I may be in the minority opinion on this one but I think she deserves another shot. She is at least entertaining content most of the time, and I don't know where the homophobia accusations come from.

Ziv Zulander
Mar 24, 2017

ZZ for short


Is there anybody out there with a Soviet fetish? I’d be down for dressing like a red army officer during sex

e: might get a little too warm with the coat on but I think I could make it work

VanSandman
Feb 16, 2011
SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER

Ziv Zulander posted:

Is there anybody out there with a Soviet fetish? I’d be down for dressing like a red army officer during sex

e: might get a little too warm with the coat on but I think I could make it work

Yes but they only enjoy communal sex.

Ziv Zulander
Mar 24, 2017

ZZ for short


VanSandman posted:

Yes but they only enjoy communal sex.

Seizing the means of reproduction

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....

Ziv Zulander posted:

Is there anybody out there with a Soviet fetish? I’d be down for dressing like a red army officer during sex

e: might get a little too warm with the coat on but I think I could make it work

Sounds like a counterrevolutionary bourgeoisie affectation to me.

Jack Trades
Nov 30, 2010



Ziv Zulander posted:

Is there anybody out there with a Soviet fetish? I’d be down for dressing like a red army officer during sex

Considering the girl with the SS fetish is Jewish you'll have to start looking for a Ukrainian if you want to find someone with a Soviet fetish.

Licarn
Jun 6, 2010

'twas brillig


Gun Saliva

When I first started practicing I made a mistake

quote:

When I was fairly new to witchcraft I put a curse on my ex. My intent was that he would get hurt. Which he did he got into a really bad accident and totaled his car and broke his neck. He’s fine now. But a few weeks after the incident the week before Halloween I had three pets die in the same week. A dog, a cat, and a tarantula. I don’t believe in the rule of three, could it have been me projecting something back on myself because I was inexperienced? I haven’t tried to curse anyone since then Incase those two situations were related.

Ziv Zulander
Mar 24, 2017

ZZ for short


Xenocides posted:

Sounds like a counterrevolutionary bourgeoisie affectation to me.

Listen buddy, I’ve already got my mosin oiled up and ready to go, if you’ve got any better ideas for what to do with this thing then I’m all ears

teen witch
Oct 9, 2012




Licarn posted:

When I first started practicing I made a mistake

An entire paragraph on what not to do as a beginner. Brava.

Xenocides
Jan 14, 2008

This world looks very scary....

Ziv Zulander posted:

Listen buddy, I’ve already got my mosin oiled up and ready to go, if you’ve got any better ideas for what to do with this thing then I’m all ears

You can do whatever you want with that big shiny thing commissar daddy.

Jack Trades
Nov 30, 2010



Licarn posted:

When I first started practicing I made a mistake

Miss
Dec 16, 2006

Ooo I'm a great fan! Whenever I watch TV I'm always saying 'That's political correctness gone mad!'

Why thankyew!


Pillbug

In memory of Pick's continued banning, I searched for Star Trek and here you go



My (32f) boyfriend (33m), together 4 years. He blew up at me over my taste in media.

quote:

Henry and I met working together after graduate school. He moved onto a new job after we were together for two years. On the side, I write YA novels, with one published, and a second being shopped by my agent. They are magical realism. For comparison, Anna-Marie Mclemore's THE WEIGHT OF FEATHERS and WHEN THE MOON WAS OURS. Just not quite as gorgeous.

I do not enjoy most sci-fi/fantasy. Things like Star Wars, Firefly, Star Trek, are simply of no interest to me. I got into Harry Potter, and that's as close as I've ever come. More than this -- I don't really enjoy sitting down and watching TV, playing video games, or really going to see movies. I spend so much of my time with my butt in my chair between my two jobs that coming home to sit more is just not for me. I don't have any tv shows that I'm currently watching.

Back in college, I watched Gossip Girl and things of that nature. Occasionally people in the writing world will push a certain tv show or movie that I have to see to keep up with the genre. Like Love, Simon, which I thought was dreadful but at the same time, important.

However, I will give anything a chance. I never know when something might spark my interest. If I am watching a TV show or seeing a movie, I'll bring my knitting with me and work on it while I watch. I don't like sitting idly. It feels like a waste of my time.

Henry got upset with me about it this week. He asked me to go with him to see the new Star Trek and I declined, saying that I'd spent a lot of time in the office and working on edits of my next-next novel, and I'd be up for a nice hike or something like that, but probably not more idle time.

He blew up at me. It became a big, huge deal that I wasn't interested in Star Wars and he called me boring and childish because "the only show you've ever watched is about a bunch of spoiled rich brats and their designer handbags." He went on about how I just have "no taste" in media whatsoever, that he couldn't imagine raising kids with someone he can't even introduce Firefly to. I asked him what he would do if his kids weren't interested in all this geeky stuff he's into, and he told me to stop changing the subject.

I was really taken aback. For the record, I gave Firefly a three episode shot. It wasn't for me.

I have *never* made it into a personal insult or attack if I'm not interested. I'll say "not for me!" and we can do something else, or he can continue watching and I'll embroider or work on my sewing or painting or something else. He often times will have the tv running while he plays video games and I'm running on the treadmill or painting or drawing. I have headphones on and listen to books or music.

For the record, we do a lot of other things together. We hike often (PNW), we ride bikes, go for runs, we have a few art projects together. So what is it about my disinterest in all things geeky that bothers him so much? Is it really so bad if I just don't like Firefly and never got into the whole Marvel thing?

tl;dr: My boyfriend got very upset because I didn't want to see the new Star Wars. He took aim at my interests and called me boring. Is he just frustrated, or is there a real issue here?

Barudak
May 7, 2007



Dump him before you write him into your next book as a small dicked pedophile.

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017



Xenocides posted:

You can do whatever you want with that big shiny thing commissar daddy.

Not sure if getting Warhammer 40,000 into this will make things funnier or just worse.

Though I feel there's fetishes where 'If you have to ask, the answer is no'.

Motherfucker
Jul 16, 2011



Skimming the nazi thing I was like 'Just do it and peg the gently caress out of him the whole time and tell him its pivotal to the character' than I realized it was the opposite way around...

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017



Have her do the whole Jewish refugee act then walk in as Captain America.

Shithouse Dave
Aug 5, 2007

each post manufactured to the highest specifications



VanSandman posted:

Pick's old money ignorance is hilarious because she's just another depressed 30-something somewhere on the spectrum like the rest of us.

I may be in the minority opinion on this one but I think she deserves another shot. She is at least entertaining content most of the time, and I don't know where the homophobia accusations come from.

Pick is faker than fight man and the thread is a better place without either.

Evil Willow
Apr 26, 2007
Bored now...

AITA for ghosting my ex, then sleeping when he came to pick up his belongings?

quote:

I was at his place and when he took out the trash, he got a call from a girl. He’s a manager so I thought maybe someone was calling about work. When I walked out to hand him the phone, he was acting weird and this got me suspicious so I went through his phone. Welp, texts and pictures proved he’s been cheating.

He knew how much it pained my family when my dad cheated and he chose to put me through that again.

I just set his phone down, said “you can keep or burn my poo poo, idc. I don’t want anything that’s been here” and got in my car and left.

He tried chasing after and apparently came to my apartment but I went straight to my moms. I turned my phone off but he called my family and my mom told him to give me space. The next day, I left on a trip back to my hometown with my family that we go on every year after the holidays.

I got back and texted him he could stop by this morning to grab his belongings but to please be quiet, this was my last day off so I’d like to sleep in.

He came, sniffed and coughed trying to make me feel bad and took his sweet rear end time to gtfo. I’m a light sleeper so I was aware of his nonsense but didn’t acknowledge it cause he can suck a fat one.

By the time he was gathering the last of it, I had already woken up but was still in bed scrolling on my phone. He asked if we could talk, I gave him the silent treatment. He asked if there was anything he could do, went on a tangent about how she didn’t mean anything blah blah, he’s stupid blah blah and I gave it all the silent treatment.

He went full on Leonardo DiCaprio, got on his knees, begged and I left out a little laugh cause poo poo was just ridiculous and he said something along the lines of “you can laugh all you want, but I’m just pathetically in love with you”

Continued silent treatment pissed him off so he went on another tangent about how I never even loved him if this was how I was acting. If I really loved him I wouldn’t have abruptly left, wouldn’t have ghosted him and now I’m being immature for not talking and trying to fight for us. How I could even sleep when this might be the last time I see him.

He eventually left when I called the front desk security but he texted my family and told them what happened and went DiCaprio again, trying to make them feel bad for him.

My sisters found it funny, my mom says I don’t need to get back with him but 5 years is no joke and we should’ve sat and talked for my closure. His family says the same thing.

Idc with who or why he cheated, I don’t need an explanation. The only valid explanation is he’s trash and should be treated as such.

Everyone has their own way dealing with infidelity and break ups. This is how I deal with mine. I admit I can be too cut and dry, and overly cold to people I deem as scum, but reddit, should I have sat down and talked to him instead of being “immature” about it, and giving him the silent treatment?

Power Khan
Aug 20, 2011

I'll shoot the moon.

Xenocides posted:

Counterpoint:

My [26M] with my girlfriend [25F] and her weird Nazi fetish. She wants me to dress up like an SS officer during sex.

This came up last night and I've had a hard time getting on a grip on its since. I'm just going to say it outright, my girlfriend is Jewish. I was raised Catholic.

I've been going steady with my girlfriend for two years now. I honestly love her. We've been through a lot of trauma (the death of her sister and my mother) and have really grown through it.

We always have sex a little on the kinky side (handcuffs, that sort of thing) but lately my girlfriend has been wanting to take it to the next level and we agreed roleplaying could be kind of fun. I asked her what her biggest fantasy is and she said that she used to masturbate to a fantasy that she was being tortured by a Nazi. She said she'd really like it if I could dress up like an SS officer and "force" her to have sex.

This really, really, really makes me uncomfortable, and now in a "I can't do that fetish" sort of way, but in a "I'm not sure I can continue this relationship" sort of way. What do I do? Am I overreacting? Is this harmless or does she need counseling?

tl;dr: My girlfriend has a Nazi fetish



Sick and depraved. I mean who still calls dating exclusively “going steady”? Also, the Nazi thing

The comments are interesting:

“This isn't that strange at all. The SS uniform has been sexuilzed for a long time, hit up any bdsm website and your sure to run into a stylized version of the uniform. Hell in any war based anime there will be at least 1 chick in a SS based uniform.” It is in my cartoons so it is okay?

“That's like a once in a live time chance. You have to give it a shot”

So, in conclusion, please change Reddit. Please.

Recall the one with the black gf having a nazi fetish and badgering her dude aggressively to treat her like a slave and call her subhuman and the guy couldn't handle it? Fun times.

freeasinbeer
Mar 26, 2015

urf. urg. mmph. i'm a stupid blind guy with no legs. urrrg. hurble. i'm homeless. gblgblbgblgblgble

Eh, pick wasn’t that bad, but I didn’t see the posts that triggered the ban, and I’m just a lurker.

What’s the worst that could happen, you just ban her again?

MightyJoe36
Dec 29, 2013

Cat Army


Lucrece posted:

AITA for telling my girlfriend she’s an 8 or 9 in attractiveness when she asked?

She's a 10 as far as you're concerned you idiot.

Licarn
Jun 6, 2010

'twas brillig


Gun Saliva

I (25F) am struggling to cope with my (29M) gamer SO's lifestyle and I'm feeling resentful

quote:

Let me say first that I'm on mobile so I'm unsure what the formatting will look like and I'm a first time poster but avid lurker so bear with me if this comes out a bit rambly, all over the place and disjointed. I just need advice.

I guess I'll start from the beginning. Bf and I met online back in late July of 2017 after I had just gotten out of a long term relationship (4 and a half years) so I was broken and we hit it off really quickly, expressing that we would like to attend a music festival (I'd already been 4 years in a row at that point so it wasn't like I was stepping into unknown territory) I hadn't planned on going to together.

Thing's moved pretty fast, he added me on facebook, found a last minute ticket for me, we facetimed realised that our humour just clicked and I travelled to his city to meet him for the first time.

He was really kind to me and introduced me to his friend's that weekend. We drank like I hadn't for years and he showed me around his various haunts and alternative bars which was awesome.

So, after the festival we began seeing eachother and became exclusive that Christmas.

Anyway, early on I noticed that his flat was always untidy, cans, pizza boxes, crisp packets, dishes not done etc and put it down to just a 'man' thing but after 2 years it's actually just laziness. He has done the dishes once or twice but not on his on accord and only after me getting on at him to help me out. He will also occasionally vacuum but it never stays clean due to having pets that spill seed on the floor on the daily.

I also don't live with him 24/7 and I have responsibilities I need to take care of during the week back at my parent's place so when I come back it's often a riot of clutter and it really stresses me out.

I probably should have put this is my main point but here we go. We are both gamers but he takes it far more seriously than me to the point where he extremely aggressive and shouts at his screen when he dies. He has 0 patience for other games apart from Call Of Duty, which used to be something I enjoyed playing with him until I couldn't stand listening to him screaming down the headset in my ear.

Resulting in me no longer enjoying playing with him/being in his presence when he plays and for the past 2 years it has impacted my sleep a lot because he can play from midnight till about 6am and the walls of his 1bed flat are paper thin. This has brought on many arguments where he claims to be unable to control his aggression and says that if he doesn't let it out he will break something. I will say though that he has never risen his hands to me but has punched a hole in the wall of his gaming room and broken a few controllers... this scares me as I wasn't brought up in an aggressive household or been around violence.

He also has been signed off for a few years now due to mental health and has no ambitions to seek therapy for unresolved trauma from his teenage years (he thinks it's a waste of time and doesn't want to share his past with strangers) with my encouragement or to try and better himself. I can't force him to do anything but I feel like since I'm trying to better myself (I'm currently on benefits and seeking employment) and get better as I'm also suffering from poor mental health at the moment that he should at least try too because it would help both of us.

Everything is great when we're hanging out, listening to music and going to see live bands together but it is often overshadowed by his past insecurities. May not seem like it from this post but I do enjoy his company on the daily.

Overall, I feel like I can't progress in our relationship till he gets his poo poo together and although there are times that I really love him and feel like he cares about me but the bad parts push that away. I can feel myself drifting and yearning for something more.

Anyone got any advice for me?

Sorry about the big rambly mess.

TL;DR Been dating a guy for 2 years who has no ambitions, leaves his mess for me to deal with and gets extremely aggressive while playing video games which is impacting on my mental health and ability to sleep/function as an adult.

Tashilicious
Jul 17, 2016

HANDWICH DEVOURER


Someone should repost timothy if he isnt already in the OP.

And honestly the less Pick posts the better. She has a tendency to make poo poo All About Pick, and is also just terrible.

Cough Drop The Beat
Jan 22, 2012

It's your HPV, Veronica. I'm just carrying it.

I don't know why but I'm more weirded out by the birth control pill at dinner story in the OP where her friend's partner says "We get it, you have sex" out of nowhere than most other stuff in this thread.

Tashilicious
Jul 17, 2016

HANDWICH DEVOURER


Cough Drop The Beat posted:

I don't know why but I'm more weirded out by the birth control pill at dinner story in the OP where her friend's partner says "We get it, you have sex" out of nowhere than most other stuff in this thread.

its because that man is a gross sexist with misogyny issues.

kru
Oct 5, 2003



Cough Drop The Beat posted:

I don't know why but I'm more weirded out by the birth control pill at dinner story in the OP where her friend's partner says "We get it, you have sex" out of nowhere than most other stuff in this thread.

I mean, the idea that it was a boast rather than a normal part of daily life is quite the take

Rent-A-Cop
Oct 15, 2004

I posted my food for USPOL Thanksgiving!



Cough Drop The Beat posted:

I don't know why but I'm more weirded out by the birth control pill at dinner story in the OP where her friend's partner says "We get it, you have sex" out of nowhere than most other stuff in this thread.
BF really missed a chance to slide in with "Tons, and it's all amazing"

kru
Oct 5, 2003



Rent-A-Cop posted:

BF really missed a chance to slide in with "Tons, and it's all amazing"

We do it so much she has to take double!

Licarn
Jun 6, 2010

'twas brillig


Gun Saliva

I (24, F) kind of want to end things with my boyfriend (20, M) of 2 years because I want to be with girls, but I can't because he's a good guy

quote:

My boyfriend and I have been dating for two years. He is a great guy, he is honest, trustworthy, and he truly loves me and cares about me. He has never done anything to hurt me. An all around A+. When he and I first got together I was so happy and so crazy about him, we get along great and always have fun together. About a month ago, I officially came out as bisexual (he knew that I have been with girls in the past) but he was not so happy about it because he told me that he now sees EVERYONE as a threat, not just guys. He even asked me if I had a thing going on with one of my friends because we took a girls trip together one weekend.

Around the end of October I met a girl on Tumblr (we both liked a certain movie character) and we hit it off and exchanged snapchats and numbers. Turns out she is bisexual too and I kind of have a hardcore crush on her. Obviously I would never cheat on my boyfriend, but I can't help but want to be with a girl again. This girl lives halfway across the country, and I'd love to meet her. I told my boyfriend that I was starting to have feelings of wanting to experience things with girls and that it was nothing that he had done (which is true). He got extremely upset because he really wants to be with me and he has put so much into our relationship. He told me that he wanted me to choose him and be ALL in with him and that he wants me to put all those feelings behind me. The thing is I can't imagine my life without him, we do everything together. But I just see him as more of a friend now and I hate it. I don't even want to have sex with him anymore, I feel like complete poo poo. I feel like an awful person, because he is such an amazing guy and I feel like I'd be stupid to break up with someone like him. I have someone who loves me and says he wants to marry me and I'm going to throw all of that away because I want to experience relationships with girls? Is that awful of me?

I am seriously so depressed because I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt him. I don't want to lose someone who actually loves me, but at the same time I just don't have the feelings I used to. I really don't want to be with another guy ever again. This has happened to me before in a previous relationship I was in with another guy and all I wanted was to be with a girl. My internet friend has really brought the gay out in me (sounds stupid, I know) and I keep digging myself even deeper into this hole I don't know how to get out of. My boyfriend and I argued last night about this whole situation and I STILL couldn't get myself to break up with him because he started crying. I don't want to keep wasting his time but I feel so lost without him. He told me that no one could ever love me like he does and that I won't be okay without him (which I do believe) but gently caress I just want to be gay with girls. I regret ever getting myself in this relationship. I didn't think this would happen to me again but seriously every time I'm in a relationship with a guy I always end up wanting to be with girls.

Honestly, does anyone have any good advice? I feel like I'm never going to escape from this situation. I don't want to hurt a good guy.

TLDR; Been in a relationship with a great guy for 2 years, but I want to date girls and I don't want to hurt him

kru
Oct 5, 2003



* furiously thrashes bags of coins into the 'good guy machine', tears crashing around him *

dick wizard
Oct 18, 2012


Miss posted:

My [31f] husband [32m] name calls at our son [1m] and threatened to divorce me for objecting.


never change, reddit

i went to the comments hoping people would point out that this is extremely inappropriate (especially his promise to escalate the verbal abuse in the future) and how a 1 year old isn't a "brat" for being a baby etc... but of course they're loving blaming her and saying she must have driven him insane or something.

Fatkraken
Jun 23, 2005

Fun-time is over.

Dear Reddit, my boyfriend smells of excrement, is incapable of cleaning, belittles my interests, scares me and I don't like being around him 90% of the time. Should we break up?

Power Khan
Aug 20, 2011

I'll shoot the moon.

I (31M) found my wife (32F) possibly sexting, and it's possibly been on-going roughly 10 years.
Okay, so this came to my attention Friday night.

Back story, the now wife and I have been together since High School. We have 2 kids (10F) (5F). We didn't actually get married until 3 years ago though. I got my wife into a popular MMO and we made some friends in the game. We even went on vacation one year to visit them in another state. This may come in handy later. We occasionally keep in touch with one of them still. We will call him F. So Friday night (2 nights ago) we were hanging out on our computers and such, listening to music and having a good time, I was indulging in a 12 pack. F had recently contacted us again 6 months ago or so, not too unusual. He asked if we were still playing said MMO and we were like nah not really. Long story short I end up trying it out again to get back into it. My wife follows, but probably not until 2 months or more after. Well getting back on track here, Friday night we were hanging out as mentioned and F and her are texting and we're each like requesting songs. I'm getting pretty toasted at this point and my wife is telling me how F has been trying to work out for the new year. She said I sent a pic to him to show off my abs. Ok, no biggie shes fit and shes proud of it. A while goes on and I keep drinking and enjoying the night, then my wife asks if I have any of her butt progress pics? I snapped to and was absolutely shocked.. At the time I told her I don't want to hear about you sending 'progress' pics to another man, WTF. I didn't know what to do really.... I kind of spent the rest of the night keeping my distance from her cause I wasn't in the right mindset to argue it with her.

So next day rolls around and I tell her to give me her phone. She does, and I'm reading the text between them... nothing too out of the ordinary. How are you, what ya been up to, hows the family. Then F asks if he can see her stomach again. I scroll up making sure I didn't miss anything. No picture was there. How can he see it again without it being sent? So I realize she has deleted parts of the message. She says sure lol and then the pic she told me about is there. I continue reading and notice again that there is more missing. What was left was something to the sort of F "saying sorry for asking btw". Wife responds "no it's ok. I mean I could ask him if that'd be weird". F says "nah that'd be odd for him". Wife responds "hes been drinking lo"l. So I notice something is missing again. F never asked anything that I could find. So she deleted something else. Then the next pic is a fully cloth selfie from the side she sends. Then they continue their convo just as normal friends. So I tell her I need to know why she deleted it and what exactly she deleted. She gives me some BS about it being nothing, him trying to press the convo towards 'progress' pics and she trying to direct it in another direction. I ask her how she tried to steer the convo away when you're sending pics, and you even ASKED ME TO GIVE YOU A PIC FROM MY PHONE TO SEND like I was going to be too drunk to remember. She gets quiet and I keep pressing her about what was deleted. Little by little more comes out. And she admits to having used to flirt with F while playing and sent nudes to F about 9 - 10 years ago. She said she only did it cause at the time she resented and was angry at me, cause she had caught me watching porno a few times. That almost split us up and things were tense for a while, I agreed to stop watching it. She tries to say I've done some lovely things also that she's caught, looking at women's breast, supposedly trying to position myself at a family gathering to look up her cousins dress as she sat on the ground. I don't recall the dress thing, but yes I occasionally view cleavage as I'm walking around. I lost it, I felt sick. I had knots in my stomach, I was angry, sad all of it. I don't see the comparison. She had an emotional relationship where she sent nudes to someone we know! 4-5 pics she claims. I was staring at a screen at people I never have, never will meet and have no connection with. I'm not trying to justify it, that's just how I feel.

So I leave, I had to get out of the house for a while.I leave for about an hour I just walked around the city. She texts me, I know you don't want to hear this now but I love you, you're my everything. She now tells me she 'called' off the flirting at the same time when she felt our relationship was back to normal and loving one, our oldest daughter must have been woken up and asked where I was and she thought she heard her crying in her room. So I walk back. That whole time I was thinking of instances where F contacted us and has this been happening all along?! Also, the vacation...was it stemmed from this? I asked her and she claims to not remember if it was before or after. I tried to recover the messages with no luck yet. Does anyone know a way this can be done. I need to know what exactly transpired before I know how to move forward. Also, we are about 3-4 years in our new house. Child support is not something I'm looking forward to and I do still love the drat woman I'm just lost. Any and all advice appreciated.

This post may be a bad idea but I need to at least vent.

Sorry for run on sentences and punctuation I'm literally shaking and dying inside.



TLDR: Wife possibly sexting for 10 years. Can text messages be recovered? Any advice appreciated.

Fatkraken
Jun 23, 2005

Fun-time is over.

Licarn posted:

I (24, F) kind of want to end things with my boyfriend (20, M) of 2 years because I want to be with girls, but I can't because he's a good guy

He told me that no one could ever love me like he does and that I won't be okay without him (which I do believe)

SUCH a GOOD GUY

Bargearse
Nov 27, 2006

Don't get your pen, son, you won't be needing that. My order's simple, a shitload of dim sims. And I want a bucket of soya sauce.


Licarn posted:

When I first started practicing I made a mistake

Oh come on magic isn’t real

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Power Khan
Aug 20, 2011

I'll shoot the moon.

I'm not in a position to look it up right now, but getting caught cheating sexting in mmos is a classic. I know 2 people that tanked their marriages like that.

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply
«644 »