Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
Sammus
Nov 30, 2005



Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling my sister I think her baby name choice is weird?

If you're gonna name your kids after mushrooms, go with something cool like Destroying Angel.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Licarn
Jun 6, 2010

'twas brillig


Gun Saliva

I now want to see Redditís verdict on first name Amanita, middle name ocreata

Invisible Clergy
Sep 25, 2015

"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3


Can I summon destroying angel with phyrexian mana?

Khanstant
Apr 5, 2007



the only reason i want a child is so i can have a daughter named Sword. its my right as an organism to make new ones and i can name it whatever i want whos going to stop me besides every woman ive ever dated

wizardofloneliness
Dec 30, 2008



Here's some r/relationships ripped straight from the headlines.

Thomas Middleditch and Wife Mollie Gates Divorcing After 4 Years of Marriage



quote:

"Only after I got married was I like, 'Mollie, I'm sorry, but we have to get nontraditional here,'" he shared. "To her credit, instead of saying 'F--k you, I'm out,' she was like, 'Let's figure this out.' To be honest, swinging has saved our marriage."

Middleditch admitted that he and his now estranged wife would "argue over it constantly," but credited their success to open lines of communication and "strict" guidelines.

Smirking_Serpent
Aug 27, 2009






Buglord

AITA for defending myself against my boss criticizing that I'm eager to leave on time at the end of the day?

quote:

Well, yesterday we had performance reviews at the office. I didn't really know what to expect from mine, but I knew it wouldn't be anything bad since I do my work and do it well, don't talk much, keep to myself as much as possible, and never complain out loud. I won't lie, though. I loathe this job. However, it's tolerable enough for me to show up every day on time, do what's expected of me and then some when I'm in a good enough mood, and duke it out until I can find something better.

I went in for my review and my boss had nothing but pleasant things to say...at first. Toward the end of the review, her only criticism was that I'm "too eager to leave work at the end of the day." I didn't really know what to make of that at first. I mean, pardon me for not wanting to live and breathe my employment and be depressed about the end of my shift. Truth is, if it was socially acceptable to jump out of the nearest window the moment my shift is over, I'd do it without hesitation.

Not wanting to make assumptions or jump to conclusions, I asked for clarification. She stated, "Well, your work day as you know is 8am to 4:30pm and you always seem to be ready to clock out right on time. Sometimes I've even seen the time clock in a background window on your desktop a few minutes early like you're preparing for it."

I'd be lying if I said I didn't sit there for a minute with my eyebrows raised. I said, "With all due respect, I really don't see the issue behind essentially what amounts to leaving on time. Just as well, I'm sure you're aware that HR has the timeclocks set to round down for 10 minutes, so I'm not being paid for any additional time that I'm here unless it falls within 10-minute increments. With that being said, my daily work is complete by the time the end of my shift rolls around and quite frankly, after eight hours of sitting in a chair and staring at a computer screen, I'd like to leave on time when I'm scheduled to and go home to enjoy the remainder of my day. To be fair, though, if me leaving on time is the only criticism in what was otherwise a sea of compliments, I think I'm doing well here."

Of course that wasn't entirely verbatim because I don't remember word-for-word what I said, but it was something along those lines in a very respectful manner. Either way, she didn't look thrilled. I'm not sure if she was expecting me to volunteer for the optional overtime previously offered or dedicate more of my life to the company like she does, or whatever.

I was literally flabbergasted at the dialogue. I mean, how warped are your expectations that your criticism is that I leave on time? I have decent work ethic. Could it use some improvement? Sure. I'm sure I'd have stronger work ethic doing a job I actually enjoyed.

I mean, honestly. What the poo poo? Am I the rear end in a top hat for this? For defending myself against her criticism for literally leaving work when I'm scheduled to and, God forbid, being happy to do so?

Tashilicious
Jul 17, 2016

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS


that company engages in blatant time theft and gets huffy if someone wants to leave on time.

jfc

Serephina
Nov 8, 2005




I don't know who those people are, but that expression of "Dick is cheap and plentiful, why settle?" comes to mind. Maybe his was gold plated, idk.

Khanstant
Apr 5, 2007




Yikes, you can't call it successful when y'all are getting divorced and bickering about it a lot. Basically just seems like he wound up with more opportunities 2 gently caress and wanted to take them. Scummy.

Serephina posted:

I don't know who those people are, but that expression of "Dick is cheap and plentiful, why settle?" comes to mind. Maybe his was gold plated, idk.

This creepiness aside, he's really funny and a great guest on Comedy Bang Bang

wheatpuppy
Apr 25, 2008

YOU HAVE MY POST!

LadyPictureShow posted:

They're some dumb-dumb whose posts all seem to hinge on fried chicken and socking it to vegans.

Wait, so is Portabella's mom the vegan who was hiding buckets of KFC in the garage?

SoftNum
Mar 31, 2011




This is missing the usual "I pushed to open up but then my partner was way more successful playing the field than I was how do I put this genie back in the bottle?"

wizardofloneliness
Dec 30, 2008



Serephina posted:

I don't know who those people are, but that expression of "Dick is cheap and plentiful, why settle?" comes to mind. Maybe his was gold plated, idk.

He was on Silicon Valley and some other things. Honestly, the only reason this stood out to me was because he gave an interview about a year ago about how he sprung an open relationship on his wife immediately after getting married and how awesome it is and how it can be tough but they're really into communication and boundaries and everything. That's where the first part of that quote of his is from. I remember reading it and just laughing.

SoftNum
Mar 31, 2011



wheatpuppy posted:

Wait, so is Portabella's mom the vegan who was hiding buckets of KFC in the garage?

The one who was married to a trucker who was also likely "cheating" (being vegan) all the time? Absolutely.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

I posted a 7 point defense of corporate wage theft because my brain is full of worms.

Tashilicious posted:

that company engages in blatant time theft and gets huffy if someone wants to leave on time.

jfc

He was being a proud rear end in a top hat over it rather then doing the smart thing of saying he has life/family commitments to be responsible for which is why he keeps a tight schedule. You have to be one dumb motherfucker to proudly brag about how eager you are to leave your place of work to your superior during a performance review.

And that isn't even remotely time theft, nearly every timecard system rounds to the nearest 10 or 15 min increment and most places allow it to work both ways letting people clock out a few minutes early and still getting the full time or letting people arrive a few minutes late and not be docked pay.

When you have a boss who is "4:57 pm clocked out is leaving early we're putting you on a PIP" then you have a petty tyrant who just wants to flex on everyone they can and the time in/out is just the easiest for them to harass you over.

quote:

I do my work and do it well, don't talk much, keep to myself as much as possible, and never complain out loud. I won't lie, though. I loathe this job. However, it's tolerable enough for me to show up every day on time, do what's expected of me and then some when I'm in a good enough mood, and duke it out until I can find something better.

And I guarantee they've noticed this behavior and attitude. Most everyone hates their job, but they don't make it part of their personality and put it on full display it at work like an angry, simmering loner. Part of being successful in a work environment means requiring you to engage in perfunctory social pleasantries and make people like you. When it times coming to furlough or lay off staff no one is going to go bat for the guy with a perpetual scowl on his face who doesn't talk to anyone and just does his job.

pentyne fucked around with this message at 23:55 on Jun 2, 2020

Tashilicious
Jul 17, 2016

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS


love that corporate leather

LadyPictureShow
Nov 18, 2005

Success!





wheatpuppy posted:

Wait, so is Portabella's mom the vegan who was hiding buckets of KFC in the garage?

Yeop. Same poster. As well as how her ex husband is now married to a vegan and is begging for her fried chicken recipe.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

I posted a 7 point defense of corporate wage theft because my brain is full of worms.

Tashilicious posted:

love that corporate leather

"Hey, we're looking to promote people, what about that anti-social guy who never talks to anyone, always looks miserable, and made a big deal about leaving on the dot during his performance review, but is about average to good on hitting his metrics?"

"He doesn't sound like a team player, lets promote that other guy who is average to good in hitting his metrics and has a positive attitude"

kru
Oct 5, 2003



pentyne posted:

"Hey, we're looking to promote people, what about that anti-social guy who never talks to anyone, always looks miserable, and made a big deal about leaving on the dot during his performance review, but is about average to good on hitting his metrics?"

"He doesn't sound like a team player, lets promote that other guy who is average to good in hitting his metrics and has a positive attitude"

lol, promote this

* gives you da finger *

wizardofloneliness
Dec 30, 2008



I don't think that person really gives a poo poo if they're passed over for a promotion seeing as they say they loathe the job and are only there until they can find something better. It sounds like they're putting in the exact right amount of effort to me. Yes, kissing corporate rear end and pretending you live to work might get you ahead, but I think the OP is ultimately doing a service by not bowing down to their boss about that bullshit criticism.

SoftNum
Mar 31, 2011



pentyne posted:


And that isn't even remotely time theft, nearly every timecard system rounds to the nearest 10 or 15 min increment and most places allow it to work both ways letting people clock out a few minutes early and still getting the full time or letting people arrive a few minutes late and not be docked pay.


While this is true if the policy is fair, you can't always round in favor of the company in 10 minute increments, and is in-fact time theft.

Besides this comes across as a sort of '37 pieces of flair' thing. And sometimes in a boring job, what you want is an employee with next to no ambition who completes their assigned work and is OK with a COL increase every year.

Invisible Clergy
Sep 25, 2015

"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3




AITA for telling my daughter (17) that it is unacceptable to eat after dinner

quote:

17yo eats a little too much and Iím just trying to make sure she doesnít gain weight or develops a eating problem. She will eat a bunch of snacks in between meals and still weight pretty average. In no way she is close to chubby and mostly just a petite girl. What Iím more upset about is that she will continue to eat a lot of food when I explained to her that itís not healthy for her. There are wrappers of food hidden everywhere and I will find her sneaking downstairs to get some food. I try to especially limit it before dinner time, however, she will always have fifteen snacks but she always eat what I give her also!

I found her one night eating breakfast burritos at 12AM in the morning and told her it was unacceptable to her to be eating at this time, especially without my knowledge on how much she is eating. She ran upstairs crying with her food left unattended.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

I posted a 7 point defense of corporate wage theft because my brain is full of worms.

wizardofloneliness posted:

I don't think that person really gives a poo poo if they're passed over for a promotion seeing as they say they loathe the job and are only there until they can find something better. It sounds like they're putting in the exact right amount of effort to me. Yes, kissing corporate rear end and pretending you live to work might get you ahead, but I think the OP is ultimately doing a service by not bowing down to their boss about that bullshit criticism.

He's still a moron because

a) 80% of a corporate/office/cubicle job is play acting at being busy and liking your job
b) Never burn a bridge behind you in your job history
c) Using them as a reference one day means they might poo poo talk you about that with the vague "not a team player" terms
d) It takes zero effort to lie and make up an excuse about needing to leave on time
e) There's no reason to be an anti-social loner if you have coworkers, you can socialize with them around the coffee maker or chat for a few minutes about work/life casual topics
f) He sounds like someone who expects to get by on the merits of his work alone and sees socializing at a job he hates as beneath him which is far more telling about his personality then anything else; most human beings have jobs they hate and at least get along with the people they work with to stay sane
g) Don't talk poo poo about your current employer on social media, and especially don't get negative about them in the middle of a performance review, save that for when you've moved on

Invisible Clergy
Sep 25, 2015

"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3


are you a director of operations?

WIBTA if I used a squirt bottle on my boyfriend's cat?

quote:

First off, let me say that I love cats and have lived with at least one practically my whole life. I hate using squirt bottles on cats as a form of discipline/punishment, but I don't really see another way here. My SO and I have been dating for over two and a half years and began living together almost four months ago. His cat has never been overly fond of me, but I never felt she was being aggressive until recently. Since we've moved in together, whenever she is doing something wrong (i.e. up on the table, picking at the carpet) and I try to stop her, she hisses and tries to scratch me. I frequently have to get my boyfriend to get her to stop what she's doing. Earlier today while he was at work, she got somewhere she was not supposed to be and when I went to move her, she actually scratched me. I've tried spending one-on-one time with her and we get along fine during that, but whenever she's doing something she knows she's not supposed to, she reacts this way towards me. I need to find some way to get her to stop when she's misbehaving and I'm alone, but my boyfriend is very resistant to me asking him to get a squirt bottle for me to use when he's not here, even though I told him that it would only be used if she tried to scratch me again. So, would I be the rear end in a top hat if I used a squirt bottle on the cat.



Edit: I have tried other ways to get her to trust me. I greet her first when I come home (I also have a cat that lives with us), I give her treats, I play with her, I've bought tons of interactive toys, I hang out with her on the couch when she's sleeping there. We do fine during these times, but whenever I have to stop her from doing something bad, she lashes out.

SoftNum
Mar 31, 2011



Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for telling my daughter (17) that it is unacceptable to eat after dinner

Trying to encourage healthy eating habits is good but it's not something you can start at 17 when they start putting on a little chub.


pentyne posted:

c) Using them as a reference one day means they might poo poo talk you about that with the vague "not a team player" terms

Most places anymore have strict policies against this sort of thing because of fear of being sued. Seriously usually the answer you can give is "yes they worked here".

He may not be playing the field correctly but the likelihood that he'll need this job once he's found something better is minimal, especially if it's a time-clock position.

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015


Khanstant posted:

the only reason i want a child is so i can have a daughter named Sword. its my right as an organism to make new ones and i can name it whatever i want whos going to stop me besides every woman ive ever dated

Boy: Maestro
Girl: Tanqueray

Biplane
Jul 18, 2005



pentyne posted:

He's still a moron because

a) 80% of a corporate/office/cubicle job is play acting at being busy and liking your job
b) Never burn a bridge behind you in your job history
c) Using them as a reference one day means they might poo poo talk you about that with the vague "not a team player" terms
d) It takes zero effort to lie and make up an excuse about needing to leave on time
e) There's no reason to be an anti-social loner if you have coworkers, you can socialize with them around the coffee maker or chat for a few minutes about work/life casual topics
f) He sounds like someone who expects to get by on the merits of his work alone and sees socializing at a job he hates as beneath him which is far more telling about his personality then anything else; most human beings have jobs they hate and at least get along with the people they work with to stay sane
g) Don't talk poo poo about your current employer on social media, and especially don't get negative about them in the middle of a performance review, save that for when you've moved on

Counterpoint: suck my poo poo.

tinytort
Jun 10, 2013


SoftNum posted:

Trying to encourage healthy eating habits is good but it's not something you can start at 17 when they start putting on a little chub.

OP says their daughter is "weight average, more like petite", so she definitely hasn't started putting on 'a little chub'. If she's actually eating 15 snacks before dinner and then eating all of her dinner on top of that, it seems more likely to me that OP is giving her portions that are way too drat small.

17 is still within range for puberty to be ongoing, and if she participates in any sports or is generally physically active, she's going to be needing a lot more calories than I think OP realizes.

Entirely possible that OP is body-shaming the daughter and policing her food choices, and not taking into account the fact that teenagers are goddamn voracious because they're in active growth mode. Thus the trying to hide how much she's snacking (because she's constantly hungry, because OP isn't providing enough food) and bursting into tears over being harassed over a burrito. All of which is going to do more to gently caress her up than anything else.

kimbo305
Jun 9, 2007

He is I, and I am him



Dramatika posted:

Do kids even call weed 'dro' any more? I mean, that's we called the good poo poo 20 years ago, it has to have new nomenclature by now.

I'd think it was just a nickname for Alejandro.

tactlessbastard
Feb 4, 2001

Godspeed, post


Fun Shoe

DemoneeHo posted:

My Son Won’t Let Me Visit My New Grandchild



Yet another entitled grandma who only says "me me me me me!"

Man, there's not a thing there that convinces me that wasn't written by my MiL lol

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number

Pillbug

pentyne posted:

He's still a moron because

a) 80% of a corporate/office/cubicle job is play acting at being busy and liking your job
b) Never burn a bridge behind you in your job history
c) Using them as a reference one day means they might poo poo talk you about that with the vague "not a team player" terms
d) It takes zero effort to lie and make up an excuse about needing to leave on time
e) There's no reason to be an anti-social loner if you have coworkers, you can socialize with them around the coffee maker or chat for a few minutes about work/life casual topics
f) He sounds like someone who expects to get by on the merits of his work alone and sees socializing at a job he hates as beneath him which is far more telling about his personality then anything else; most human beings have jobs they hate and at least get along with the people they work with to stay sane
g) Don't talk poo poo about your current employer on social media, and especially don't get negative about them in the middle of a performance review, save that for when you've moved on

You realize you're saying this all in response to someone who was given a glowing review outside of the one thing they were supposed to work on and that one thing was giving the company 30 minutes of unpaid overtime a week right?

Yeah there is a game to be played and many of us willingly play it when we're actively climbing, no they're not gonna badmouth him if he gets hired elsewhere cause they leaves them open to lawsuits. There's literally no need to bootlick in this situation I dunno why you're bending so far over to do so.

KingSlime
Mar 20, 2007
Wake up with the Kin-OH GOD WHAT IS THAT?!

pentyne posted:

He's still a moron because

a) 80% of a corporate/office/cubicle job is play acting at being busy and liking your job
b) Never burn a bridge behind you in your job history
c) Using them as a reference one day means they might poo poo talk you about that with the vague "not a team player" terms
d) It takes zero effort to lie and make up an excuse about needing to leave on time
e) There's no reason to be an anti-social loner if you have coworkers, you can socialize with them around the coffee maker or chat for a few minutes about work/life casual topics
f) He sounds like someone who expects to get by on the merits of his work alone and sees socializing at a job he hates as beneath him which is far more telling about his personality then anything else; most human beings have jobs they hate and at least get along with the people they work with to stay sane
g) Don't talk poo poo about your current employer on social media, and especially don't get negative about them in the middle of a performance review, save that for when you've moved on

Literally none of this is even remotely true if you're a smart individual with skills lmao

That poster sounds like a good and smart employee

E: part of my job involves hiring people for an extremely visible project within a corporate behemoth

KingSlime fucked around with this message at 02:56 on Jun 3, 2020

Mr. Grapes!
Feb 12, 2007
Mr. who?

SoftNum posted:

While this is true if the policy is fair, you can't always round in favor of the company in 10 minute increments, and is in-fact time theft.

Besides this comes across as a sort of '37 pieces of flair' thing. And sometimes in a boring job, what you want is an employee with next to no ambition who completes their assigned work and is OK with a COL increase every year.

My job will dock your pay if you are a SINGLE minute late clocking in. Bet your rear end I am out there on the dot at 5pm. If they want to quibble over minutes, I'll do the same.

KingSlime
Mar 20, 2007
Wake up with the Kin-OH GOD WHAT IS THAT?!

Ok maybe point g on that list is actually advice, the previous six though are bust

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number

Pillbug

Also lol at going to bat for "rounding is not wage theft" when the company was clearly gunning for him working a bit over, but not enough over to hit that extra quarter hour of pay. I've worked for places like that and had friends/family work for places like that, 100% of the time you will get in trouble if the rounding goes in your favor often enough to cost the company money. Show up 7 mins late for clock in, stay 8 minutes over for clock out, do that for a couple of weeks and bingo bango you will be let go. Until you hit a point you're showing up early (but not too early) and leaving late (but not too late) you'll be harassed in performance reviews about not being committed. Sure that 14 minutes a day doesn't seem like a lot but you multiply that by all their employees for years and suddenly it adds up, which is why wage theft is such a common thing.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

I posted a 7 point defense of corporate wage theft because my brain is full of worms.

ArbitraryC posted:

Also lol at going to bat for "rounding is not wage theft" when the company was clearly gunning for him working a bit over, but not enough over to hit that extra quarter hour of pay. I've worked for places like that and had friends/family work for places like that, 100% of the time you will get in trouble if the rounding goes in your favor often enough to cost the company money. Show up 7 mins late for clock in, stay 8 minutes over for clock out, do that for a couple of weeks and bingo bango you will be let go. Until you hit a point you're showing up early (but not too early) and leaving late (but not too late) you'll be harassed in performance reviews about not being committed. Sure that 14 minutes a day doesn't seem like a lot but you multiply that by all their employees for years and suddenly it adds up, which is why wage theft is such a common thing.

The solution being "clock in on time, clock out on time" and if you have a company that throws a fit over 1-2 minutes then you can't gently caress around and be late to work.

If the place is pushing you to come on 5 min early and stay 5 min late then they'll probably make up whatever they want to fire you anyways and you have to keep your guard up at all times and document everything. This comes up a lot for places that are "clock out now and finish up your work" usually Wal-Mart or fast food in which case you either do it or lose you job and hope you have some other option.

Also when your boss asks why you stare at the clock in the run up to the clock out say "I just keep to a tight schedule as a personal habit" and don't make a big deal about how you clearly don't like working there. If you aren't convincing your boss that you love your job while simultaneously taking every advantage you can then I don't know what you tell you, you're working harder then you should.

pentyne fucked around with this message at 03:24 on Jun 3, 2020

Bobulus
Jan 28, 2007



Invisible Clergy posted:

are you a director of operations?

WIBTA if I used a squirt bottle on my boyfriend's cat?

I have not owned a cat (allergic), but I thought a squirt bottle was a perfectly acceptable means of discouraging bad behavior? She talks like its animal abuse.

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007





Grimey Drawer

Bobulus posted:

I have not owned a cat (allergic), but I thought a squirt bottle was a perfectly acceptable means of discouraging bad behavior? She talks like its animal abuse.

It is.

Works on humans too.

Barudak
May 7, 2007



MarcusSA posted:

It is.

Works on humans too.

Do not recommend it for training witches, however.

KingSlime
Mar 20, 2007
Wake up with the Kin-OH GOD WHAT IS THAT?!

pentyne posted:

If you aren't convincing your boss that you love your job while simultaneously taking every advantage you can then I don't know what you tell you, you're working harder then you should.

Once again, you don't have to convince your boss of anything if you are a good employee and your boss isn't a turd.

If you're sitting around doing nothing for 80% of the time (by your own admission) maybe that's why you feel the need to relentless worship your work culture and be a social butterfly or w/e. That's scary and within the realm of easily replaceable (though we all are of course, some are more than others)

If your boss is a turd then gently caress him/her and his/her stupid rear end questions

KingSlime fucked around with this message at 03:31 on Jun 3, 2020

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.


Whether it works depends on the cat though. Mine liked playing "dodge the bottle" and learned that misbehaving was the way to signal that he wanted to start playing so I had to change tactics. In his case it was a firm "no" and disengage, since he was very playful and wanted the interaction. Also on hot days he'd scratch at the furniture and then sit there purring when I sprayed him. Absolutely adorable.

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply