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Martman
Nov 20, 2006

spacetoaster posted:

Ouch.

A friend of mine's father wrapped up 10,000 in cash in tinfoil and plastic and wrote "fish" on the side and put it at the bottom of the family freezer.

Unfortunately he never told anyone about this, not even his wife, and when she cleaned the freezer out one day she threw out what was (in her mind) obviously very old fish.

They even drove to the city dump and dug around for it. Never found it.
What an idiot, you're supposed to put it in a paper bag that says "Dead Dove - DO NOT EAT"

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Martman
Nov 20, 2006

quote:

I told them to not talk in Spanish and to wait another year and I will make attempts to learn the language. They refused and I got really mad at them. I told them I will look for a new place and went to my room.
drat, surprised they didn't change their tune after that threat.

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

Lust the dust bro https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SHSi6XNazw

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

AITA for stuffing my son in a locker?

I know I know, the title sounds bad, but get this... my son's a fuckin nerd!!!!

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

You gotta get them mad enough to try yelling something back at you, and then only honk the horn to interrupt them.

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

son not gay. so what

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

instead they can pay her in exposure

i.e. exposing that she's terrible

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

When you eat a sandwich in three bites at super speed doesn't it like, go down a lot harder? I'd expect to get a shitton of heartburn and stuff if I barely actually chew my food.

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

mexi posted:

Ugh this brings back memory of the thread here from years ago. Goon explains that after work he has to spend so much time sitting on the toilet that he eats entire meals in the bathroom and proceeded to get poo poo on by everyone chiming in how gross that is.
This presents the very real and very dangerous possibility of getting stuck in an infinite loop where you never stop eating and pooping.

Anyway, have yall encountered /r/QAnonCasualties? Some of it I'm sure goes a bit too far into "just sad and hosed up" territory but I feel like there are probably some gems:

My girlfriends dad. Qanon and race.

quote:

My gf’s dad is pretty nice to me but also a loving lunatic. I’ve know him about 6 months and each month he seems to be spiraling more and more. I actively try to not be around for visits because I’m a very blunt person with no time for nonsense. My gf is a sweetheart and very patient, but even she’s starting to become exhausted dealing with him. I can hear him over the phone when he calls, he doesn’t even ask how his daughter is, just dives right into conspiracies.

I don’t want to sound like a dick, but the dude is just outright dumb. He’s a hard worker but the guy has no idea what he’s talking about. My gf’s a nurse and I have journalism graduate degree and research background, so when he talks about covid, we shut that poo poo down. It’s almost surreal how we will fact check him and prove what he’s saying is incorrect. It’s like he fakes conceding to our point, jumping to the next topic without truly processing what we just said. It also pisses me off that he’s anti mask and doesn’t believe in covid when his daughter is a nurse.

The problem is Qanon is deeply ingrained with racism. I’m black, while my gf’s family is white. He talked about hanging Obama in front of me for like 5 minutes, I genuinely think he doesn’t understand it from a historical perspective though. I’m not even going to go get into the BLM stuff, but it’s the basic talking points y’all already know.

It’s not as bad as most post here, because it’s not my immediate family and I don’t have to be around it much. The thing that worries me most, is if we have children. There’s zero chance I’m letting my kids around this idiotic rhetoric. I know I’m going to snap at some point.

I honestly don’t know if I want kids now? You know how bigots always say ‘how will I explain this to my children?’ Well, I’m like that with Qanon.

It honestly just keeps me up at night, like right now. There are thousands of adults that can believe in this stuff, it feels like a weird fever dream that we’ve got to the point we need support groups for this lunacy. I don’t even need advice, because I’ve drawn my line and won’t budge. I just needed to vent.

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

Quora is good for some comedy questions, but unfortunately you rarely get much in the way of followup or detail... but still, this is hard to resist:

My son tells me he is “animesexual”. What does this mean?

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

I mean......... don't use razor wire to stop kids. That is loving stupid.

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

Mx. posted:

Look, you can't deny the effectiveness
They didn't say the bleeding children didn't make it to the pool!

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

I need $30,000 right now or I can't eat!

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

Liquid Communism posted:

Michael Phelps was putting down 12k a day training for Beijing, but that's with swimming full-out 5 hours a day, 50+ miles a week.
https://www.menshealth.com/nutrition/a19520928/michael-phelps-12000-calorie-diet-not-real/

quote:

During my prime, I was probably really eating eight to ten [thousand calories per day]. But that was the most, and that was when I was in high school and still growing.
I mean, 8-10,000 is still massive lol. But publications love to take these numbers and run with them. Even with the Rock's cheat day food I wouldn't be surprised if people are taking the absolute upper limit of what he possibly could be doing just for the sake of Posting Big Number. And of course, the Rock has like 60-70 pounds of muscle on Phelps

Martman fucked around with this message at 21:03 on Nov 13, 2020

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

I am sure Josh will take this lesson to heart, and become a thoughtful and ethical lawyer who helps people in need.

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

Sisal Two-Step posted:

What... did the sister think was going to happen there? The guy was going to go "You know what, you're right. I am a little bitch! Let's gently caress."

Feelin bad for that kid though. Hope her aunt is a stable presence in her life.
It's just one way people express their bigotry. Like when people immediately start making "light-hearted" racist jokes to someone to prove they're not uncomfortable around them, stupid thought processes like that.

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

HMS Beagle posted:

AITA for kicking a gatekeeper out of our spirituality group?
They followed up with a real nice clarifying comment:

quote:

I'm pretty sure race IS appearance based considering most Indians do look a certain identifiable way but alrighty~

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

Danaru posted:

"Sorry for expecting some emotional support after nearly dying honey, you're right I should always ask about your day first since you're the protagonist of this marriage."
It's always funny to me how aggressive people are when internet posting about the need to be a completely passive doormat in marriages.

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

Honestly if you're in a marriage that's falling apart but you feel like you can't communicate, writing down the worst versions of your feelings kinda seems like sending a message to the universe that, you know, you hope it "gets out" somehow.

Like, it's not good in an abstract sense that he snooped, but if these people need to get divorced, at least his bad act was one that can clarify the situation in both their minds.

Sanford posted:

Maybe she has another book where she writes down all her nice thoughts about people.

Re: apologising instead of talking, they go in sequence. I’ve never failed to have my wife listen to and at least understand (if not agree with) my point of view if I’ve gone along the lines of “yes I know, sorry, it was because [x] but I shouldn’t have [y], sorry about that.” I guess some people would wield that like a weapon though. I love a good argue but not about important stuff.
Yes, sounds like this is exactly what the wife should do! It's weird that you decided it was the husband's responsibility immediately when he's the one who experienced a seriously traumatic situation.

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

I just think there are times when it's ok for someone to say "I am hurt by this enough that I'm not ok with acting like I'm the wrong one, and I need you to understand that."

It's fine for people to decide that getting along is worth saying something they don't fully mean, but immediately going to "what a moron, he should just apologize" sounds like some Everybody Loves Raymond "women are chaotic and insane and the best thing for you to do is capitulate and keep your head down" logic.

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

Sanford posted:

That’s not what this is, though. This is some stupid poo poo that he can just dissolve and move on and it’ll be forgotten, right? If it’s important, sort it properly. This isn’t, so.. yeah, capitulate. Whatever, anything for a quiet life? I’m not trying to be all “one weird trick women hate!” but if this was us I’d go and sit upstairs for five minutes and when I came back one of us would say sorry about that, the other would say don’t worry about it, tell me your exciting news/tale of nearly dying and that’d be it. What’s the alternative? Stay mad long enough that everyone really knows I mean it?
The alternative is not treating All Male Emotions as "stupid poo poo you can just dissolve"

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

Sanford posted:

Yep, all male emotions, that’s definitely what I said :wtc:
If that story and the feeling the dude is feeling is your example of stupid poo poo that doesn't matter, it means you have a unreasonably high bar for which emotions actually matter.

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

If you compartmentalize "him being frustrated at her being mad at him not asking about her day" as entirely separate from his traumatic experience earlier in that day, then yes you could pretend that one issue is insignificant. But the whole reason that's a problem is that the wife is ignoring his real and significant feelings when she puts her own feelings at the center of that interaction.

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

Sanford posted:

Yes but that’s in past now. He’s posting on Reddit. What’s he trying to achieve? From this point in time, what will he look back on in a day and go “that went well”? Because if the relationship isn’t worth even that little concession to get past this sticking point, then yeah just break up.
Maybe he's making sure he's not crazy to have emotions even though society keeps telling him that men should just shut up and "dissolve" their feelings.

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

Drawers full of old dinners is like, one or two steps away from piss jars

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

That woman accidentally grabbed the wrong hand at the store six months ago and has been living with an actual large toddler. I hope they find her husband.

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

e; I'm stupid and didn't read the first line

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

So, she stopped talking to him 7 years ago but he still says she's his best friend?

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

If I had told you I cheated at the time, it would be understandable if you wouldn't forgive me. But since I hid it from you for three and a half years, you can't be mad anymore!

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

Look, boys are going through a lot when they're developing, and sometimes their head will turn into a wolf head and they'll make a big submarine AWOOOOGA noise and their tongue will roll out onto the table in front of them, and there's just nothing we can do about it.

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

Meanwhile the boyfriend is just crying in the corner wondering what the big misunderstanding is

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

Involuntary Sparkle posted:

Christ, as someone who loves to cook for others (and sorry, I mention this a lot but I'm a food product developer so it's relevant), I encourage constructive criticism. It's not helpful to only lavish unwarranted praise. It wasn't even to the mom directly!
Doesn't sound very constructive to me.

I'd want to know more about the boyfriend to really judge though. A comment like that from someone who doesn't cook and actually doesn't know poo poo about food (especially depending on what OP means by "picky") would piss me off a lot more than the same comment followed up by an actual point.

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

Nuke Disney World

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

Motherfucker posted:

If you can't stand the sound of a keyboard I literally don't know how you would have the patience to sleep in the same bed as another human, or own a pet, or even have a fuckin' roommate.
what a terrible opinion

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

Wow, you're annoyed by my tap dancing? Have you considered that dogs make noise too? Clearly you are a sensitive snowflake. :smug:

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

plot twist: she actually murdered all those men and is bragging about her actual body count

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

I know my husband is insane and is definitely in the wrong here, but I'm gonna blame you. K bye

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

She should get a tattoo that says "SLUT" to really stick it to them

Martman
Nov 20, 2006

Invisible Clergy posted:

Like in a lot of AITA posts, OP being factually correct about MSG allergies not existing and the myth of them coming from a couple of racist crank letters sent in to the New England Journal of Medicine in the 60s is wholly uncoupled from whether or not he's an rear end in a top hat.
https://www.thisamericanlife.org/668/transcript

This podcast goes into the very odd detail that the man who publically claimed to have made up a fake Chinese name and written the "prank" letter in the 60s was actually lying about all of that, and as far as they could tell it was legitimately written by a Chinese doctor.

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Martman
Nov 20, 2006

Castaign posted:

There's a reason why none of my neighbors have ever distributed a video of me pissing on someone's property in public, and it's not because my neighbors are protecting my privacy out of some misguided sense of :decorum:
Presumably because you've threatened to release videos of them shed-pissing if they do?

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