r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

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MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Yay for a new thread!

# ¿ Jan 13, 2020 09:08

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# ¿ Apr 19, 2024 21:37

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Herbicidal Maniac posted:

I'm torn, I'd been several thousand pages behind on the old thread but reading them between sets at the gym was so much fun!

Now I'll be up to date, but miss out on all the drama of the previous thread.

You should deffo finish the old thread. Just skim and read the r/ posts you can burn through it pretty quick and there is some good stuff in there.

# ¿ Jan 13, 2020 16:13

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

GET A loving BIDET YOU DISGUSTING rear end in a top hat.

# ¿ Jan 14, 2020 17:17

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Ouhei posted:

I think there are probably better solutions than wearing gloves while you go to the bathroom. He could see a doctor to get a proper treatment for his condition and/or follow up the washing with an ointment/lotion or something.

Or... get a bidet that takes like 5 min to install and stop being a disgusting disk wad.

# ¿ Jan 14, 2020 17:24

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

John Wick of Dogs posted:

You're still supposed to wipe after you use a bidet

Not really.

You can just use like two sheets to dry it or get one with an air dryer and not even bother.

# ¿ Jan 14, 2020 17:40

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

hawowanlawow posted:

blasting your wet lovely rear end with compressed air doesn't seem so sanitary

But using a dry piece of paper to smear it is.

# ¿ Jan 14, 2020 17:45

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

BIG-DICK-BUTT-gently caress posted:

Doesn't really sound like homophobia to me

Unless there's more to the story, sounds like the brother only decided to be friendly with his brother once he heard about the the inheritance. Not wanting to give money to someone who cut you out of their life for no reason is understandable

Yeah this is how I read it too.

:shrug:

# ¿ Jan 16, 2020 22:01

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Knobb Manwich posted:

Really want to know the age of this guy. I would say yes he's an rear end in a top hat but lmao the new widow going him for not being keen enough about the funeral.

What part of the story makes him an rear end in a top hat?

# ¿ Jan 17, 2020 03:22

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

DemoneeHo posted:

My boyfriend (27m) has a phobia of beans and won't let me (27m) eat them, is he being unreasonable?

Beans beans the magical fruit they'll make your dumb rear end boyfriend disappear!

# ¿ Jan 17, 2020 05:38

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

therobit posted:

The fact that her friend sold her out means her friend wasn't worth putting her job on the line for.

Generally speaking, I don't think people should be allowed to keep the fact that they have a communicable disease from people that they are in contact with who may catch it. I do think people should have compassion for people that are HIV positive and not discriminate against them, but your right to privacy should end where another person's privacy begins.

https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/policies/law/states/exposure.html

quote:

In 19 states, laws require persons who are aware that they have HIV to disclose their status to sexual partners and 12 states require disclosure to needle-sharing partners. Several states criminalize one or more behaviors that pose a low or negligible risk for HIV.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2020 05:04

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

therobit posted:

So what are you trying to say here. 19 states out of 50 have some law on the books. I still don't believe dude is entitled to keep it from his partner and that outing him was probably the right thing to do.

I�m just sayin that 19 states absolutely agree with you.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2020 05:57

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Beachcomber posted:

He set his boundaries and communicated clearly without any bullshit. They both are free to find partners they'll be happier with.

Pretty much this.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2020 08:19

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

BurningChrome posted:

This is gonna be a fun website to be on if people like you exist on it. Lmfao. loving losing it over people drinking a drink BEFORE paying for it. At the store. Lol.

Lol that�s just the tip of the ice burg when it comes to posters.

Enjoy your stay.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2020 08:25

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Power Khan posted:

My (36F) husband (41M) has some disturbing requests for after he's passed away.
/r/all

My husband wants me to have his skull taken from his body and cleaned. Then he wants that skull put on the mantelpiece in the living room. The rest of his body he wants sent to one of those places that makes the gems out of bodies and made into two blue diamonds. He then wants those gems to be put in the eye socket of the skull to look like eyes. Then he can "watch the family home" and "be passed down through the generations".

Husband seems pretty cool TBH.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2020 20:14

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

pentyne posted:

Going down the profile rabbit hole the woman is poly (with women only so it's not cheating) and had a ton of body and self image issues.

The husband is probably seeing what she isn't, the point where her constant joking negativity is reinforcing her toxic belief about her own worth.

I'm all for a little self-depreciating humor but at a certain point it isn't just humor anymore.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2020 20:44

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

big dyke energy posted:

Jeeze I think I've been playing weird house rules Uno all my life (not that Uno comes up like ever). Our rule was that you announce when you have one card and you win, but if you somehow don't realize you only have one card and someone else calls you out on it you have to draw five.

Now that I think about it, the way we played probably only worked because we were all children and inattentive.

Yeah the first rule you said is right. If you fail to call uno before someone else does you have to draw cards but yeah you have one turn before you go out and win.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2020 20:50

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

I don't know if he's an rear end in a top hat or not, but I know that the cat owners are assholes if they failed to go way out of their way to insist that the rescuer of their beloved pet takes something in return.

Yeah that is what I was thinking. Like gently caress these owners if they can't even be bothered to offer something.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2020 00:13

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Licarn posted:

Almost every women I slept with... pathetic. My life is empty

What exactly is the point of this post?

# ¿ Jan 19, 2020 08:39

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling my friend she's a "loving idiot" because she said she's stronger than a Silverback Gorilla?

My friend (23F) is quite into powerlifting. She's very strong for her size, and probably the average dude.

So mid way through convo with her, she says that she bets she is stronger than a Silverback Gorilla. I had to a double take. I asked her whether she was serious, and she said yes.

I work at a zoo and I've seen Male Silverback Gorillas.....so my natural unblurted reaction was "You're a loving idiot". She got offended and called me a prick, that its just what she believes.

Sometimes I wonder about her....she genuinely believes this nonsense. I just couldn't help but curse her out so maybe I was wrong. AITA?

Well duh... cage match.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2020 08:40

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

My (23m) roommate (25m) of 2 months put surveillance cameras throughout the apartment, says it's for security but they're in my own room too?

This is like incredibly illegal in like every state.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2020 09:45

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Smirking_Serpent posted:

My (17M) girlfriend (19F) is mad because my video game character has a girlfriend. Is she being too sensitive or am I in the wrong?

Lol at this.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2020 20:56

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for disinviting a friend from a group get-together because of his diet?

But now Tony is going around telling people that we're discriminating against him because of his diet.

Well you kinda are but he�s an insufferable rear end in a top hat so it doesn�t matter.

Whenever I diet (like a weird one) I�ll either bring my food or double check what I need will be there.

He�s a dick wad for expecting anyone else to cater to his bullshit.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2020 21:13

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Licarn posted:

Me [22M] with my girlfriend [22F] of 5 years, humiliated, violated, and embarrassed by housing community security guard [50M]. Have I failed as a partner?

Lol

# ¿ Jan 20, 2020 20:08

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for calling my ex-wife and kids for dinner?

I�m not gonna say he was the rear end in a top hat for calling to make amends but he is seriously downplaying how lovely he was (or the wife was telling the new husband it was worse than it actually was... probably not though).

I�m not sure it was the new husbands responsibility to tell him to gently caress off though that should be up to the wife and kids if they want to let him make amends for how he treated them.

New husband sounds kinda jealous though I dunno.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2020 21:51

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

henkman posted:

I still refuse to believe findomming is real and that's it just a large hoax that everyone runs with

I thought the same thing till I met a girl that did it and she showed me the transactions she gets.

It�s real and it�s hilarious.

r/relationships: Edit : yes he hosed the stripper please stop asking me

# ¿ Jan 21, 2020 01:08

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

GolfHole posted:

i know some guys into it and findom is really depressing

tbqh people who enable it are the worst kind of prostitutes. really scummy poo poo.

It�s the best kind because these dudes don�t deserve their money anyway.

# ¿ Jan 21, 2020 01:13

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

QuarkJets posted:

Self-described foodies aren't all insufferable, just the ones that act like this "friend".

Also lol this dude is 600 pounds isn't he, 7 brownies in one sitting holy poo poo

Don�t brownie shame me.

# ¿ Jan 21, 2020 08:08

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Power Khan posted:

My mom (46F) left my dad for the babysitter (30F) seven years ago and I never realized how it affected my (17M) relationship with my mom until now.

EDIT: my dad doesn�t want me or my sister to live with him. He has twins and a son by his new wife and his new wife doesn�t like me or my sister.

Oof

# ¿ Jan 21, 2020 10:16

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

gently caress Your Website posted:

Does Jillian Michaels win if I lose weight?

Oh just stay fat and die uncomfortably who cares. Eat more cheesy fries.

# ¿ Jan 21, 2020 22:39

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

LadyPictureShow posted:

How do I (23F) tell my boyfriend (25M) that I don't like jewelry? Do I tell him at all?

Na don�t bother talking to him that would be too simple. Why bother ever having a conversation about anything?

# ¿ Jan 22, 2020 00:22

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Play posted:

Yes, the cat was dressed as Kylo Ren with a huge First Order symbol in the background. I don't want visitors thinking I'm some kind of space nazi fanboy, which would be the obvious conclusion upon seeing the painting

In fact, I don't want them thinking I'm a star wars fan either. Or the kind of person who commissions paintings of their cats in various costumes. Basically there's a lot of things wrong with that painting

You sound like a whole lot of fun.

# ¿ Jan 22, 2020 00:30

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Play posted:

So you agree with me but my brain is poisoned... okay

Try this. If you went into someone's house and it's wall to ceiling First Order and Evil Empire and Darth Vader stuff, you wouldn't think that's weird? You wouldn't think that person might have a little unhealthy fixation on fascist imagery? Fictional or not I'm not interested in having fascist poo poo in my house, especially a symbol that is specifically meant to evoke real-world fascist imagery. The First Order is obviously modeled off of the SS.

And yeah, I'm getting a little deep here, it's just a painting not a political manifesto, but it's still not something I'm interested in having or displaying in my home.

thats why god put them in such adorable furry bodies, it allows us to forget this fact

gluehuffer69 posted:

2016 destroyed so many people.

# ¿ Jan 22, 2020 01:42

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Pirate Radar posted:

From Ask a Manager:

lol this is some next level poo poo.

I love it.

# ¿ Jan 22, 2020 03:02

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Motronic posted:

Things are now getting serious with my [24M] GF [24F] of 3.5 years, but her sister [27F] has told me some unsettling things about her. Relationships
submitted 2 days ago by takeadrive

While I don�t think your S/O needs to be all up in your hobbies actively talking poo poo about them with some distain isn�t cool.

They should just break up.

# ¿ Jan 22, 2020 05:48

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

1stGear posted:

Fake your death and flee to a third world country.

Tbh if he says with her much longer he won�t be faking that death.

# ¿ Jan 22, 2020 07:59

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Lucrece posted:

TIFU by unkowingly having my realtor show me a murder house.

loving 🙄🙄🙄🙄

# ¿ Jan 23, 2020 09:33

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for yelling at my GF for smoking weed? And, telling her I'm going to move into a new place.

Yeah gently caress a long commute and JFC just don�t smoke drat weed.

It ain�t that hard.

If she�s not a regular smoker she could be ok if she didn�t do much but still just don�t smoke weed!

# ¿ Jan 24, 2020 07:59

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

I�m gonna need a diagram.

# ¿ Jan 24, 2020 23:11

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Either way 40lbs is a pretty significant weight gain.

# ¿ Jan 25, 2020 03:37

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# ¿ Apr 19, 2024 21:37

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Licarn posted:

Me [27 F] with my roommate [28 F] - she sheds her skin all over the apartment and never cleans

Try not living with a snake.

# ¿ Jan 25, 2020 03:58

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

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