r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Requesting eagle boyfriend and dogcloak cousin so we have the holy trinity here on page one.

edit I should have refreshed.

# ¿ Jan 13, 2020 06:42

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# ¿ Apr 24, 2024 18:17

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Ritznit posted:

This thread moves too goddamn fast, I'm still on the page with the poop gloves and the diarrhea jeans and I'm laughing so hard I just might die before I get any further.

welcome to the r/relationships thread friend

# ¿ Jan 15, 2020 02:52

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

limp_cheese posted:

I'm pretty sure that beer is not for drinking in the supermarket. Seems like an easy way for them to lose their liquor license.

I don't know how it works in the UK, but in New Zealand, it's possible for one venue to have both an on and off-license as long as they have two different people with certification on duty.

# ¿ Jan 15, 2020 06:38

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Similarly, there's NAH or No Assholes Here which is never ever used because assholes are everywhere.

# ¿ Jan 16, 2020 08:35

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Chomp8645 posted:

I would, but herein lies the problem: she won't let anyone else discipline the dog at all. So much as a firm pull on the collar/leash is "abuse" to her. She believes that this <2 year male pit bull should be instructed purely with verbal commands. So basically the dog is untrained, and attempts to train it are met with hostility from the owner. He is completely wild on walks without firm control because he isn't socialized to be in public. Basically everyone in the house has decided to wash their hands of it because you can't train a dog if the owner is an idiot who resists it.

Sometimes I throw a ball for him in the backyard but there isn't enough room for it to be great exercise.

That dog is going to hurt someone and it'll be entirely the fault of his owner. :smith:

# ¿ Jan 16, 2020 22:59

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Don't forget the parody:

https://medium.com/@alexandraerin/infidelity-will-be-the-death-of-my-marriage-1020720676ef

# ¿ Jan 18, 2020 03:05

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

I can't believe Acererak's wife posts on reddit.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2020 20:13

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

lmao at listing a reward then getting surprised when someone asks for the reward that you offered

# ¿ Jan 19, 2020 00:12

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Were they just listing the $500 reward to get people to bring the cat, and hoping that they would just... forget it?

# ¿ Jan 19, 2020 00:14

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling one of my gf's best friends that what we do in bed isn't his business?

I've (27m) been dating Lucy (22f) for 6 months. She's finishing college, I've already graduated, have a job, etc. We've met through friends. She's friends with Rob (22m), who she met in college and is one of her best friends. I'm not close to Rob, we're mutuals on Twitter and go out in the same group sometimes. Not sure if relevant, but Rob used to hit on Lucy before she told him she wanted to be friends.

I'm Lucy's first bf and she was a virgin before meeting me. This is something she joked with friends, saying she was the only one getting into Heaven, "of course I'm a virgin, I watch anime", etc. Sex isn't a big deal for me so I made sure to not push her or make her uncomfortable. We dated for 2 months before getting there.

Lucy, Rob, some other friends and myself were on going to a park to chill, kind of a picnic thing. Rob came to my house with his stuff since I have a big icebox, then we would uber to meet everyone. I told him to wait a bit, I was finishing something on my PC (I'm a graphic designer) so he could just make himself comfortable.

He stayed in my room with me and started looking around, not snooping, just looking at my shelves with books/games/etc, making small talk. He then said "Hey, what is this?" in a concerned tone. I turn around and see him holding a leather cuff tied to the bedframe. I probably knocked it while cleaning and forgot to store it.

I jump out, super embarassed and say "Oh, it's nothing" with an uncomfortable laugh, untied it and threw it in a drawer. I told him we should start packing, but he pressed on, asking what was that. "Oh, it's a leather cuff". I got out of my room and started packing things. He said "I didn't know you were into that sort of stuff". I just chuckled.

"Is Lucy ok with that?"
"Well, yeah"
"Don't you think you're taking advantage of Lucy?"
I paused but could only reply with "What?"
"I mean, she was a virgin a while ago, do you really think it's ok to be doing that sort of stuff?"
I was uncomfortable, so I just said "I don't want to talk about this, can we just get ready?"

He didn't drop it.

"You're older than her too, this is kinda weird"
"What we do between us isn't your business. We're both adults"
"I dunno, I don't think this is right"
I finally said "This isn't your business, but since you're curious about it, Lucy was the one who brought it up and asked me to tie her up"
He replied "Oh, gently caress off, I know your type, you might be fooling her but you can't fool me. Have fun while you can" and stormed off.

I got to the park, told people Rob wasn't feeling it. Later on I told Lucy what happened. She chastisd me a bit for forgetting a cuff out, but said she didn't know what got into him. I told the story to an online friend later and he said I might have screwed things up, he sees her every day so I "wouldn't want to make an enemy out of him". Rob blocked me on all social media.

AITA?

Rob is in love with her and is freaking out at evidence that his pure virgin wife is doing the nasty with someone who isn't him lmao

# ¿ Jan 19, 2020 08:19

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for refusing to use the gender neutral single bathroom?

Some info: Im black, and I go to a predominately white school. I can count on my hand the amount of black people I’ve seen on campus. My dorm is mostly full of white people as well.

Now, I keep my hair in a lot of protective styles since my college is up north and it’s cold. That means wigs, box braids, crochet hair, etc. That stuff also puts strain on my hair after a while, so once in a while (maybe twice a month) I’ll wear my hair out. When it’s out, that usually also means it’s time to wash it.

My hair isn’t that lengthy, but it is very thick. Washing it usually takes a while, and while I wash it I comb it out. This means dead hair falls into the shower and into the drain. I do feel bad, but maintenance cleans the drains every morning except weekends, so when I do contribute to the problem it’s not long lasting.

I’m not the only person who washes my hair in the shower. On any given day, the shower is full of hair. Not my type of hair, usually straight blonde or black or brown hair. It clogs up the drains and they even wash their hair in the sink.

Today, I was getting ready to wash my hair when two RAs approached me. They said they were getting complaints from the girls on my floor about my hair clogging up the drains and sticking to the walls. They said the girls found it gross and requested extra attention to the bathroom with the shower I use, and that maintenance was complaining about the amount of cleaning requests they were getting. Then, they told me from now on they would like me to use the single gender neutral bathroom to shower and wash my hair, that way only one bathroom is getting clogged up and would this be easier to clean.

That bathroom is on the C side of the 6th floor. I live on the A side of the 3rd floor.

They also mentioned that a few other “girls my race” offered to go back to their hometown any time they needed to wash their hair so they wouldn’t cause a problem. They said I was welcomed to do that too.

I told them no, that I felt they were being discriminatory since my hair is not the only hair that gets into the drain and I limit the amount of times I wash my hair for this exact purpose. I mentioned also that the showers are usually covered in hair when I use them on a daily, but they argued and said that because that hair is straight it’s easier to clean up.

I ended up walking away to finish preparing to wash my hair. When I went into the bathroom, some girls (who I assume were part of the reason I got approached) started getting annoyed and I heard them telling others not to use the bathroom after me because it would be covered in hair and gross.

The RAs are getting the RD involved, and now it’s a whole big thing. Honestly, I don’t want to start problems since I’m a freshman, but I feel this is ridiculous. I don’t wash my hair every day, so this shouldn’t be as big of an issue as it is. On the other hand, I do understand that my hair is curlier and may pose a problem when cleaning. Am I really TA here?

Somewhere a lawyer's eyes just turned into dollar signs.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2020 09:45

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for not wanting to cook another dinner for my daughter after my husband ate half of it?

My daughter (12F) got into cooking 2 years ago, and ever since she's mostly been cooking for herself, and sometimes even all of us, which is super helpful. I can tell that she's a natural, and believe it or not, even at only 12 years of age she's a much better cook than I'll ever be.

Tonight she wanted to try out a new recipe that she came up with herself. We left her alone and she spent a while in the kitchen making it, after which she served it for herself on a plate. She always does this when she's experimenting, makes a small portion for herself, as not to waste food if it doesn't turn out well.

Well, after she started eating, my husband came saying it smells really good and asked if he could try some. She of course said yes, but then he started eating it and soon enough half of it was gone. She didn't say anything, she never confronts others when something is bothering her, but I could tell she was a little upset. My husband asked her if she'd be making more, and after she said no, he jokingly said "well, I'm gonna take just a bit more" and started eating again. After he noticed how little was left for her, he turned to me and told me to make her another dinner. I refused, saying that she made that for herself, and he started getting annoyed.

We got into a bit of an argument since this wasn't the first time he's done this when others are eating, and he told me that he may have made a mistake, but so have I, choosing to be petty instead of making sure my daughter wasn't hungry. I told him that if he was so worried about that, he should have made her something himself. He refused.

I'm aware that he was an rear end in a top hat, but was I as well? Because in the end, my daughter did go to bed almost without dinner. Should I have just sucked it up and made her something?

Maybe don't punish your daughter for your husband's foodcrimes.

# ¿ Jan 21, 2020 04:10

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

luxury handset posted:

only if she can put dad in time out for not knowing how to share at dinner time

it's definitely not 'punishing' the daughter to disobey dad's instructions to fix his rear end in a top hat behavior. better for the kid to see that it is good and natural to set boundaries with her thief father

Sending a 12 year old to bed hungry isn't punishing her?

# ¿ Jan 21, 2020 05:05

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Motherfucker posted:

Can't you just bleat out 'FAKE' like the normal worthless posters and be done with it?

While normally I agree that yelling FAKE is tiresome and annoying, the TIFU stories are so very obviously fake.

# ¿ Jan 22, 2020 11:06

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

I prefer kwess-a-dillers.

# ¿ Jan 23, 2020 03:25

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Anyone who hurts animals for fun deserves to get decked.

# ¿ Jan 23, 2020 22:37

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Lmao at having an opportunity to hang out with and get to know the girl you're into better and loving it up the literal moment she walks in the door.

# ¿ Jan 24, 2020 03:43

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

big dyke energy posted:

lmao nta that's loving hilarious.

What was Manager gonna do with the leftovers? Save em to microwave for the next party? I understand places being strict about not letting adults order off kids menus and poo poo, but eating leftovers is something that like every parent (or uncle I guess) does.

That is incredibly dumb, they paid for the food they should be able to take it home and feed it to a dog if they feel like it.

I work at a bar/restaraunt and I can't imagine getting mad at an adult for eating a kids size meal. :psyduck:

# ¿ Jan 26, 2020 22:13

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for responding to actual racism with sarcastic racism?

I work with a Mexican guy who is constantly talking about how white people ruin everything. He can�t move back to his hometown because too many white people live in the neighborhood now. When he visits his family, he won�t go to certain restaurants because white people started going there. As a white guy, I am forced to sit out these conversations because any opinion I have to the contrary is automatically racist. So I sit there and take it. White people ruin everything.

I generally avoid this guy because of this, but last week he randomly initiated a conversation with me and we found ourselves talking about the local restaurant scene. Thinking this might be the opportunity to find common ground, break down those barriers, and finally have a normal working relationship, I share that I enjoy Mexican food and ask him for recommendations. Innocent enough question, no?

He tells me he knows a few places, but unfortunately cannot share them with me because he doesn�t want white people finding out about these places. I ask if he�s kidding, but he straight up says that these restaurants are for Mexicans only.

So I tel him no worries, I understand where he�s coming from as I don�t want his kind in my Irish pubs. He asks what I mean by that, so I simply say that I just feel that Mexicans don�t belong in Irish pubs and he should understand.

I made the statement to make a point, but now it�s looking like I�m going to be pulled into a supervisors office for a conversation about my behavior but I don�t feel like I have anything to apologize for.

AITA?

I was prepared to laugh at this guy, but saying "actually these restaraunts are for mexicans only" when the owners would probably be happy to get more business is pretty hilarious.

# ¿ Jan 27, 2020 08:57

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Jack Trades posted:

Forcefully lobotomize all of these disgusting incels and send them to work camps where they can't harm any women with their mere presence.
At least that way they will do some good to society other than jerking off to anime pedophilia and driving women to suicide every time they open their mouth.

so uh, what crimes has this guy done aside from being awkward and bad at social interaction

# ¿ Jan 28, 2020 10:04

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Xenocides posted:

I wandered into a strange area of reddit.

Are trans/nb people welcome here?

Response:

That is a hell of a rollercoaster for a single line post.

# ¿ Jan 29, 2020 07:06

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Thumbtacks posted:

Does anyone have the bride “yikes” post? I love that one.

Seconding the request for "yikes dude"

# ¿ Feb 2, 2020 03:25

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

It rules that yikeswife's husband had her back and assisted in the brutal own on his lovely brother.

# ¿ Feb 2, 2020 04:44

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

lmao the 88 in 1488 stands for heil hitler and yet she's "not a nazi"

# ¿ Feb 2, 2020 23:54

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Kurieg posted:

The 14 is also a Nazi thing.

Yeah but that falls under the claim of "just proud to be white" (which is obviously also bullshit) whereas claiming to not be a nazi while also heiling hitler is just the most :discourse:

thing

# ¿ Feb 3, 2020 02:22

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for telling my brother to get over it when no one really ate his birthday lasagna?

I know this will start a meaningless derail, but...

Cottage cheese in lasagna?

Imagine being mad that there's more leftovers of your favourite dish for you to eat.

# ¿ Feb 5, 2020 06:18

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

pentyne posted:

Jen probably worked counter at a fast food place if that's her attitude to "customer trying to get your attention."

I try and make a gesture or get eye contact all the time when its time for the check or to get water/drinks/etc. Pretty sure most waiters appreciate someone giving them a signal they're ready for the check so they can clear the table faster and get another seating in.

Just as a habit, especially when I'm eating out by myself, I'll make sure that the moment I'm done I want the check and to pay as quick as possible. Lingering and taking up a table for an extra 20-30 minutes is rude as poo poo unless you are tipping 30-40%. Having a conversation? Head over to the bar and make space for the next diners.

As a waiter myself, making eye contact is the nicest possible way to get a server's attention. A wave is decent too.

As long as you're not snapping your fingers or calling out "Service!" you're probably fine.

# ¿ Feb 7, 2020 05:10

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Perhaps him preferring his own company has something the fact that his sister is the kind of person who screams abuse at him and intentionally breaks his property.

He shouldn't be obliged to spend time with her tbh.

# ¿ Feb 14, 2020 09:16

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

I [25M] had sex with my disabled friend [24F]. It made her happy but I'm feeling guilty.

I hope Reddit is telling him that disabled people can still consent and if she's happy he has nothing to feel guilty about.

# ¿ Feb 15, 2020 08:44

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Guildenstern Mother posted:

This is from a few pages back but this is the opposite of true. There is literally no time you can offer that people won't take. Our dinner shift started at 3:30 pm (we generally open at five) because Vday assholes are rabid and will take even the joke times that you offer with the expectation they will say no. They're also amateurs, but rabid ones.

Mother's Day is deffos worse though.

# ¿ Feb 16, 2020 10:51

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

SilvergunSuperman posted:

Lol nobody said it was, but you're absolutely crushing that strawman.

A lot of people in this thread were saying they're assholes for not wanting their niece on their date night, so it's hardly a strawman.

# ¿ Feb 17, 2020 02:39

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Owning your child to that degree is something every parent dreams of.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2020 02:52

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

That one is depressing. :smith:

# ¿ Feb 25, 2020 12:19

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Has this guy never heard of earphones or something

# ¿ Feb 29, 2020 08:13

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Also it would give the op a scar.

# ¿ Feb 29, 2020 12:42

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

As someone who works at a bar, this is my favourite derail/meltdown so far.

Just encourage people starting to get intox to drink more water/eat food, then cut them off if they refuse to slow down, don't lie to them about what you're serving them.

edit literally nobody has said to keep serving intoxicated people alcohol

# ¿ Mar 1, 2020 02:33

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

What does 20/5f and "real birthday" mean? All I can think of is that it's a trans thing, like 5 years since a transition or something? Because I can understand wanting to feel feminine and not have to deal with any potential dysphoria on your birthday of all days.

# ¿ Mar 1, 2020 03:40

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Miss posted:

My (23f) mother's (50sf) vicious, spoiled dog attacked my brother (15m)to the point of rendering his fingers numb and possibly requiring surgery, did not take him to the doctor, and refuses to acknowledge the dog's responsibility in any of this.

I remember this story from the last thread, but I had forgotten "Fido is happy you're gone", jesus christ.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2020 10:15

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

HMS Beagle posted:

AITA for pulling a harmless prank on a guy who has a crush on me?

Pranks are fun!

Lmao someone actually takes a rejection well and doesn't get creepy about it and this lady decides to toy with his feelings.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2020 08:11

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# ¿ Apr 24, 2024 18:17

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Smirking_Serpent posted:

this one comes from askamanager. it's long but i believe worth the read.

My coworker is blackmailing me not to take time off for my honeymoon.

It's nice to see when sometimes a boss actually has their employee's back.

# ¿ Mar 7, 2020 02:08

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

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