r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Can the mods please confirm the rumors that everyone is talking about?

That Pick was only banned from the old thread, not the new one?

# ¿ Jan 13, 2020 06:37

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# ¿ Apr 24, 2024 09:42

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Power Khan posted:

[b]My(20M) girlfriend(20F) is 'extremely heartbroken' because I said that I am not particularly fond of

She told you that she self-identifies with the character whose appearance and personality you're mocking, you dipshit, why is this so hard to understand.

# ¿ Jan 13, 2020 11:32

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

dudeness posted:

I'd rather be single than beanless.

For real this dude is going to die alone

Beachcomber posted:

I desperately want to know where chickpeas stand for this guy. Are chickpeas allowed, while garbanzo beans are forbidden?

lol i badly want to know this answer to this

pentyne posted:

Some people in recovery end up relapsing at the slightest hurdle and someone else feeding you alcohol against your will is like the best possible excuse for "I lost my soberity i might as well enjoy it" after a crazy multi day bender.

If you're cooking coque au vin or something then yes you'll have a considerable portion of alcohol left over but throwing a teaspoon of wine into a hot pan isn't really going to leave any alcohol behind. If she hadn't made a big deal over it then he wouldn't have even known that alcohol had touched the pan because ultimately there wasn't a detectable amount left in the food, a fact that he even acknowledged

# ¿ Jan 17, 2020 07:48

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

That's a good way to get people to not go to your wedding

# ¿ Jan 17, 2020 08:16

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Randler posted:

Younger sister is also in university, so it's not like she automatically has loads of time to watch uoungest sister's child just because she does not work a job.

I had more free time during university than at any other point in my life

# ¿ Jan 18, 2020 20:58

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Bardeh posted:

If you can get turned into a glass rhinestone, you can get turned into a fancy glass tumbler or something so your family can drink out of you on special occasions.

Put that glass tumbler in an old cabin and that's how you get a murder ghost

# ¿ Jan 18, 2020 22:26

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Lucrece posted:

AITA for asking for the $500 reward money after I returned a lost cat?

Classic entitled rich person "gently caress you got mine" attitude, literally offering money for something and then trying to avoid paying after the fact

# ¿ Jan 19, 2020 00:47

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for getting my husband kicked out of the delivery room?

What a sniveling worm this dude is, divorce divorce divorce divorce divorce divorce divorce divorce divorce

# ¿ Jan 19, 2020 04:55

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Motherfucker posted:

I'm normally the first to say 'gently caress 'em' and indeed he has no obligation to accept it, but the timeframe and ages and all that indicate to me she is probably legit... plus this guys clearly displacing his parents abuse onto his sibling which is common and not good even if it was her fault for outing him at the outset. I dunno, he could probably stand to forgive though if he dosn't wanna... yaknow, gently caress 'em.

legit insofar as she wants her brother back, sure, but she's not really acknowledging the hosed up abuse that he went through, just that there were "issues". Maybe he could do more to help her understand how hosed up the whole situation was. Make it clear that if she's still in contact with his parents then he doesn't want to be in contact with her.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2020 12:53

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

MarcusSA posted:

Well you kinda are but he’s an insufferable rear end in a top hat so it doesn’t matter.

they aren't discriminating because of his diet, they're discriminating because he's an rear end in a top hat

# ¿ Jan 19, 2020 21:35

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Guilty posted:

Wild from start to finish

AITA for refusing to move my dog from her armchair so my disabled cousin could sit down?

This is good, you probably should have kicked out your cousin out when they tried to scare your awesome unflappable dog

# ¿ Jan 19, 2020 21:39

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Fatkraken posted:

I feel they also have an unwritten "don't steal all the steaks from inside the sandwiches leaving nothing but soggy bread" but here we are

(is anyone reminded of that southpark episode where Cartman eats all the KFC chicken skins and the others realise simply ignoring him is a valid option causing him to believe he's a ghost? Man that show used to be good (or at least had good individual episodes))

if they just took one sandwich and threw away the bread that would be okay but leaving behind a bunch of soggy bread kind of says all that needs to be said

# ¿ Jan 19, 2020 21:42

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

HardDiskD posted:

Why didn't she lock the studio door?

The door probably doesn't even have a lock. Why would it?

Rather, why wasn't the parent watching her kid at the adults-only party?

JacquelineDempsey posted:

I'm on the fence about charging the sister, but what the gently caress kind of 9 year old does this poo poo? A toddler maybe, yeah, but at 9?

fake edit: y'know, on reflection, go ahead and charge the sister. Maybe I'm biased because I'm an artist and I would be piiiiiisssssed if this happened to me. But as an example, my roommate's brother often comes over to our place with his daughter. She's 6yo. Before Xmas she was working on making necklaces as gifts for her family. I make jewelry and thought it was cute as gently caress. Knowing they're not well-off, I showed her a ton of my bead boxes and said "knock yerself out kiddo!" She was so excited, she accidentally knocked one on the floor --- and immediately started picking them up, with her daddy helping and saying things like "it's okay, we all make mistakes, but you gotta try to fix them". A Good Parent.

This sister obviously is not A Good Parent, gently caress her ruining their livelihood.

vvv yeah, this

As a goon, I'm assuming that you'd be less on the fence if the kid had destroyed a bunch of painted warhammer figurines

Jokes aside, I agree with your fake edit, good kids know not to do this kind of poo poo. But even if it had been an accident, I'd still say charge the sister something; we need to fix our mistakes, and this if kid is by himself and ruins something then that's partly on his parent for leaving them unsupervised; this kid apparently can't be trusted on his own and his parents probably understand that better than anyone. Can't get a sitter for your unruly child? Tough poo poo, that's parenting

# ¿ Jan 20, 2020 01:18

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

gluehuffer69 posted:

I at no point said or even implied it wasn't a real job. Like at least try to engage the points.

And you just straight up made up what the cost of the painting is. If she stated somewhere it cost 2500 in materials wasted then that's a good price to charge. But they are clear that is not why they are charging 2500.

Edit: Looked it up on reddit. The materials cost 1500 according to her. She should be charging that. Maybe 2000 if she is feeling cheeky for the lost time. If she loses clients then it could be even more than 2500 to be made whole but you shouldn't deal in fantasy. "�1500 worth of ruined acrylic. "

So you acknowledged that it's a real job, but apparently its one only worth $0/hour.

quote:

If she loses clients then it could be even more than 2500 to be made whole but you shouldn't deal in fantasy. "�1500 worth of ruined acrylic. "

That's not fantasy, professional paint supplies are expensive and this kid ruined a painting with more paint. FYI �1500 is about 2000 USD, so pentyne was lowballing with that $1700 estimate.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2020 08:00

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

teen witch posted:

Yes, and so far, we have three Tatty stories from the same guy.

I know it makes me a bad person but these are really funny

# ¿ Jan 20, 2020 08:05

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Kitchner posted:

He could have done, if that was the only issue with it. It's not though, because unless the OP is from some weird country where people have no rights and it's ran by mega corporations, I've never seen a gated community where you as a guest of a resident would be told to not only stop eating a snack causing no mess, but also to tip it into a pond (which would).

On top of THAT, the whole thing is ridiculous, it's like one of those meme things where it's like "micro-aggression have me literally shaking with stress right now" poo poo. Like some sort of online troll who thinks alpha males is a real thing and unironically uses the term "soyboy".

On top of THAT he even included the loving age and gender of the security guard in the title lol

All of which you'd have known, if you thought about it for a few moments before posting.

Edit: I just looked up the post, it was posted by a user account that literally only has this on it, and it was posted on 5 different subreddits, including /r/protectandserve lol Come on, these things are obvious

[50M] was probably meant as "this security guard looked like he was around 50 years old" not "I know the guard's exact birthday"

Also aren't you a UK person living in the UK? Maybe you shouldn't speak authoritatively on what gated communities in the US are like, because a lot of them are little Orwellian dystopian shitholes like what was described in this story. Security guards in these places are paid to do exactly what this security guard did

Kitchner posted:

If that was literally the only thing wrong with it then yeah you have a point. When you have something full of stuff that doesn't make sense though, which i've listed, stuff which is just "Oh maybe it's just a typo" is more likely to be "this is badly written or written on purpose to have weird stuff in it to see what they can get away with".

tbh this is some "walls covered in newspaper clippings with bits of yarn strung between them" poo poo

# ¿ Jan 21, 2020 01:12

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

therobit posted:

I legit don't get why a dude who's in a relationship would pay a findom.

That is because you are sane

# ¿ Jan 21, 2020 07:52

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for tricking a foodie friend?

A guy in my friend group is a foodie. Not in a fun way, like I might be (not that I�d call myself a foodie, but I like food and I like trying new stuff and I like it when food tastes good) where you look up the best restaurants for a certain kind of food, try new recipes, or use a fancy ingredient. He likes to act like a know it all, to the point of insisting the gone off provolone he put on a cheese board was fine, because �provolone is a stinky cheese�. He made fun of one friend because she said how she treated herself to McDonald�s after a long day, because McDonald�s is �unrefined�.

We had a get together a few weeks ago and I made box mix cupcakes. Baking isn�t my strong suit. He went on and on about how box mix was poo poo, and for kids. So annoying. I came up with a prank.

We all hung out today, and I made box mix brownies. Except I told him they were made from scratch with dark chocolate truffle oil (I don�t know if that�s a real thing) and carob chips, but they were Nestle. He ate nearly seven and then said how good they were. I muttered to the McDonald�s friend that they were box mix and then she started laughing, so we told him. He got mad, really mad! He told me I was an rear end avoided me the rest of the afternoon.

I think I�m okay, but one of my friend mentioned that foodie was his personality, and he takes it seriously. I know I tricked him, but I think it was harmless prank. AITA?

Self-described foodies aren't all insufferable, just the ones that act like this "friend".

Also lol this dude is 600 pounds isn't he, 7 brownies in one sitting holy poo poo

# ¿ Jan 21, 2020 07:58

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Serephina posted:

Can we just strait up ban the TIFU stories?

No. No one is making you read them, just scroll past

This one wasn't very good but most of the ones that get posted here are entertaining and that's all that matters

# ¿ Jan 22, 2020 13:00

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

FormaldehydeSon posted:

AITA for loudly booing at a friend's gender reveal party?

"I dislike this trend" I say about being invited to a party

# ¿ Jan 23, 2020 00:37

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

MagusofStars posted:

Yes, but this way you can force people to give you free poo poo twice - gender reveal AND baby shower.

what the gently caress who's bringing gifts to a gender reveal party and a baby shower? Idiots I guess

# ¿ Jan 23, 2020 00:39

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

La Brea Carpet posted:

Push presents are already a thing. It's usually jewelry given to the partner who is well...pushing.

What in the gently caress?

# ¿ Jan 23, 2020 00:49

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

hopeandjoy posted:

My parents would give gifts to the older siblings �from the baby� but I�ve never heard of giving gifts to the mother at birth.

I probably wouldn't accept a present that my mother told me had come out of her vagina

# ¿ Jan 23, 2020 00:56

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

ghost emoji posted:

AITA for getting mad that my wife hid carrots in dinner (self.AmItheAsshole)
submitted 9 minutes ago by donthidethecarrots

"Ah-hah, you claim to have a psychological aversion to carrots but I've proven that it's all in your head!"

# ¿ Jan 24, 2020 13:08

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

DemoneeHo posted:

WIBTA if I left my girlfriend alone in a city infected with the new Coronavirus

Jesus that sucks. You shouldn't abandon your girlfriend unless this relationship is on the way out anyway but gently caress that must suck to live in a city that you fear is going to get quarantined any day. I'm getting some mild anxiety for some plane travel next week now that there's been a confirmed case in Chicago, this poo poo is getting worse by the day

But anyway here's my essay on the proper way to use a 2-lane drive through:

# ¿ Jan 25, 2020 00:26

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Ugato posted:

Nah,

Nobody’s a perfect liar. And eventually something’s gonna happen to make you slip up. Getting married to someone who’s going to be outraged by what was done is going to make it infinitely worse. Godspeed little redditor if you manage to get yourself into that marriage.

Sexual past is one of those things that you should be able to discuss but that normally shouldn't need to be brought up; guys who are obsessed over bodycount are lovely. This dude is probably going to be pissed off when she provides the details of her time as a prostitute, so yeah, she may as well bring it up now (and possibly be surprised by him being cool)

# ¿ Jan 25, 2020 05:06

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

La Brea Carpet posted:

My (22F) selfish husband (23M) will not orgasm inside of me because he likes a fleshlight better
...
I might even throw it out because why the gently caress not? It's just an animated object
...

There's your problem, he's uniquely into the fake vagina because it sings and dances. Just teach your vagina to do the same

# ¿ Jan 25, 2020 21:13

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Ugly In The Morning posted:

In the comments they mention exactly how they can bone her via the IRS.

Also, sell those properties

# ¿ Jan 25, 2020 21:17

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

There will be no memes under this roof

# ¿ Jan 25, 2020 22:11

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Leon Einstein posted:

I can understand being annoyed by this one. Willing to do sex acts with strangers but not your partner is strange.

she didn't want to do anal with her clients, either

# ¿ Jan 25, 2020 23:24

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

MarcusSA posted:

Absolutely TA for not flying when you can book the seats together.

Also this.

yeah why couldn't they just push back that funeral date by a few weeks?

Also family boarding occurs pretty late on some airlines and is restricted by the youngest child's age, if she has a 4 and a 6 year old then she was probably relegated to general boarding

# ¿ Jan 26, 2020 22:53

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

MarcusSA posted:

I fly I quite a lot and this is from spirit the cheapest of the cheap.

Soo if you have a family pay to sit together and don’t chance it.

Where did it say that she's flying Spirit? Southwest doesn't do that

# ¿ Jan 26, 2020 23:32

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

SpaceSDoorGunner posted:

OP refused to answer when called out which airline, someone said the same thing to OP so it’s probably Southwest which would have allowed them to board early if they asked.

Well on Southwest family boarding is after Zone A, which is actually quite a few people. So if you get on board behind a few other families during family boarding then you wind up boarding with no rows that are completely empty

# ¿ Jan 26, 2020 23:45

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

I feel for Fallen London guy, randos point and whisper about me in public all the time just because I like comic books. Sometimes they even try to take away my whip, every time I have to explain that it's an essential part of my catwoman cosplay, I'm a paying customer same as anyone else at this IHOP and don't deserve discrimination just for being a comic book fan

# ¿ Jan 27, 2020 03:45

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

in europe this is considered not racist at all

You're trying to be ironic but have accidentally made a statement of fact instead

# ¿ Jan 27, 2020 09:14

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Tijuana-A-Go-Go posted:

Short but sweet

Boyfriend watches pick up artist videos.. Break up?

Yeah you already know what needs to happen

# ¿ Jan 27, 2020 15:04

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Reading people stating that a post is fake is like having a gnat buzzing around in your face while you're trying to watch a movie. Maybe the gnat thinks that they're doing something important but to you it's just an annoyance

# ¿ Jan 27, 2020 16:10

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Power Khan posted:

I (22F) hate Star Wars.
This is the stupidest problem, but I could really use some help, or even just a place to rant.

Your family and "family friends" are serious assholes

# ¿ Jan 28, 2020 09:45

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

Like what even causes people to turn their interests into a cultish identity? Lead water pipes? Styrofoam containers? Is there a Pop Culture Obsession gene?

# ¿ Jan 28, 2020 09:56

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# ¿ Apr 24, 2024 09:42

QuarkJets: Sep 8, 2008

I loved Jedi so much as a little kid, those space battles were sweet PEW PEW PEW

But I understand now that it wasn't a great movie. And that there hasn't been a good star wars movie since Empire. And that these nerds who are obsessive over what are largely mediocre franchise vehicles are just insane

People who are super into Dr Who have the most brain worms of all though

# ¿ Jan 28, 2020 11:51

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