r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Pope Corky the IX posted:

It reminds me of how often I see handwritten signs where the person seems to think quotation marks are used for emphasis. So a sign that reads PLEASE STAY SIX FEET APART FOR “SOCIAL DISTANCING” comes across as sarcastic.

Welcome to you're "DOOM!"

# ¿ Feb 28, 2021 23:34

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 22:35

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Haulin Oates posted:

Wait, I thought Zoomers were the children of Generation X, and Millennials' kids are mostly elementary-school age and younger

The average age for first-time mothers in the US hovers around 25 depending on what sources you look at, and generations starting with Gen X has been generally considered to be 15 years long. (Boomers span 18 years and Silents 17), so for the "average" mother it basically comes down to when they were born within their generational span.

You don't have to deviate much from the average age of first birth to go from having a kid in the next generation to skipping over two generations and having a Gen A kid as a Gen Xer, depending on if you were early or late in your own generation.

# ¿ Mar 1, 2021 16:53

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Trusting a relationship enough to make a 5 year (10, assuming his education would take the same) commitment like that is ballsy. And foolish.

# ¿ Mar 1, 2021 17:13

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Batterypowered7 posted:

I think Elder Millennials are pushing 40, so they could very well have teenaged children.

The oldest millenials could potentially have grandchildren by now.

E: As a gen x, this made me feel old.

# ¿ Mar 1, 2021 17:37

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Should have told MIL they both moved to Boulder to get *away* from Ohio.

And on that topic, there's a classic joke that a disproportionate number of the Apollo program's astronaut applicants were from Ohio because they were eager to get as far away from Ohio as possible.

# ¿ Mar 1, 2021 17:56

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Midnight Voyager posted:

It's not exclusive to ADHD though, it's a thing that can just happen with brain problems. Executive dysfunction is a bitch.

You may have worked helpdesk at some point in your career and the sound of a phone ringing sends chills down your spine.

(It was a long time ago, I'm better now.)

# ¿ Mar 2, 2021 09:30

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

I'm sure he'll miss that garbage can.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2021 09:37

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Exactly, age differences matter less the older everyone involved are. A 15 year age gap isn't a big deal if you're 48 dating a 33 year old, but you probably shouldn't date someone who's 19 when you're 34.

The x/2+7 rule works fairly well.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2021 13:08

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Because the bf is vegan and she agreed to go vegan as well.

# ¿ Mar 4, 2021 14:14

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Good on the other bridesmaids for supporting her, and good on her for calling out the shitheads.

I think if the bride has known the poster long enough to want her to be bridesmaid she should also be a good enough friend to respect her wishes.

# ¿ Mar 10, 2021 13:37

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

mind the walrus posted:

I'm pretty sure they're talking about that weird convention where you get one of those sports jackets with your school's letter on it to show that you're part of their top teams.

All I know about this is it frequently means you're the antagonist in a high school movie.

# ¿ Mar 12, 2021 12:04

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for not letting my FMIL keep her chickens on our farm?

FMIL's chicken problems would be easily solved by just opening a cookbook.

# ¿ Mar 15, 2021 17:33

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Even if you ignore all the other awful poo poo the sister says, shooting down a preteen kid's dreams is just 100% rear end in a top hat behavior. They're kids, let them have their dreams.

I'm sure she's a great mother to her own kids too.

# ¿ Mar 17, 2021 13:49

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

LadyPictureShow posted:

[25M] Is She [25F] Done with Me? We have a child together.

It looks like this guy dodged a bullet already, why is he so eager to get in front of the firing squad again?

# ¿ Mar 18, 2021 13:58

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Liquid Communism posted:

Seems like an easy DIY problem to fix. Just put up some Craislist ads: 'Need to murder someone? Why not at my place!'

Like most major work on a house, it's best left to a professional.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2021 14:54

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Midnight Voyager posted:

Honestly, it has me wondering if they just saved the thing for ammunition until the kid acted out in some way. Oh, you hate us and want to leave and live with your sister? Well look what she really thinks of you!

Her mistake was putting the things she wrote in the trash instead of burning them. But yes, her parents are definitely assholes.

# ¿ Mar 20, 2021 14:00

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Serephina posted:

As a kid I always loved German Shepards, to me they are what a dog "should" look like (wolf-like face? I dno). Then someone pointed out that they always have stunted back legs and hips; it's an intentional choice so their head&chest display more prominently. Breaks my heart whenever I see them now

Good news my friend, there are plenty of people who agree with you and have the correct opinion that show dog standards are stupid garbage. Which means there are kennels which breed german shepherds or german shepherd hybrids as healthy working dogs and tell the show people to pound sand.

# ¿ Mar 22, 2021 11:52

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for telling my daughter to discontinue her hobby?

quote:

My coworker was telling me that her daughter has an Etsy shop and she makes quite a bit of money off of it. My daughter is fine at knitting, but not exactly good enough to sell on Etsy.

From what I've seen of it, nobody is too bad to sell on Etsy.

# ¿ Mar 24, 2021 12:33

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Invisible Clergy posted:

Q. Daughter’s friend being in wedding:

quote:

My daughter is no longer speaking to me (we were never that close), but this is her big wedding and I want it to be perfect.

I like how she ran face first into the point and it still went over her head.

# ¿ Mar 25, 2021 12:53

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

A burrito is a pierogi.

# ¿ Mar 25, 2021 13:12

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Piell posted:

AITA for not letting my boyfriend lick his plate at a public restaurant?

Teach the boyfriend to clean his plate with a piece of bread like civilized people have been doing for centuries.

# ¿ Mar 29, 2021 16:04

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

ben shapino posted:

im gay

Hi gay, I'm dad.

# ¿ Apr 2, 2021 15:52

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

From a several pages back (this thread always moves so quickly):

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for following through and not going to Easter because I'm tired of EVERY family thing being about the kids?

My mom and sisters acted like it was the most ridiculous ask, Mom did the "Are you okay?" and "I can't imagine wanting to spend time with my family and exclude you girls from any part of it. That's not normal."

Not the rear end in a top hat for wanting to have some time for adults to be adults, but still an rear end in a top hat for using "ask" as a noun.

# ¿ Apr 6, 2021 15:50

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Evil Willow posted:

Short and sweet!

My friends bf masturbated in my bathroom and left it

says he didn't rinse his hands completely before wiping them and it's just soap on the towel.

# ¿ Apr 8, 2021 11:47

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

teen witch posted:

I’m American living in Sweden and don’t tell the Swedes this - they’re a LOT more like Americans than they care to admit. Minnesota nice didn’t come from thin air

What is this blatant attack on our fine and longstanding tradition of hypocrisy. :colbert:

# ¿ Apr 9, 2021 11:41

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

The Bramble posted:

Nice to get the update and additional context on this one.

My (29F) boyfriend (31M) has a really unusual and specific OCD tick that he requires me to accept daily. Any advice / tips, and would you put up with this??

100% he's getting off on telling her and watching her reaction and his issues are just a convenient excuse.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2021 14:02

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Wasn't it more like "Haha wouldn't it be weird if you died in childbirth, then we could adopt the baby. That would be so funny. Of course I'm joking, haha. But what if...?"

# ¿ Apr 9, 2021 19:37

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Sunswipe posted:

Anyone else seeing this misuse of "gaslight" as a huge red flag?

Not really. Could be her words, too. Edit: I misread what it said.

I say gf is overreacting. It's not like he went digging through her dirty laundry looking for something, or started a batch of her laundry and ruined the clothes by not reading the labels.

Sit down and have a talk.

# ¿ Apr 14, 2021 12:43

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Megillah Gorilla posted:

What was the one with the frog?

It was a photoshoot with Nikki Sims, aka Next Door Nikki. She still models, apparently.

# ¿ Apr 18, 2021 13:36

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Eighties ZomCom posted:

OP should start charging her mother for any gifts she gets her. Bonus points if she gets all of her family to charge her mother for their gifts on her mother's birthday.

"Hey mom, you know you're getting older and nobody lives forever, so I figured it would be a good idea if you paid for your funeral now."

# ¿ Apr 25, 2021 14:55

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

SneezeOfTheDecade posted:

AITA for refusing to ban my bio brother from coming to my apartment?

Not the rear end in a top hat. It's great that she's connecting with her brother, and it sounds like the brother had a fine foster family. She doesn't say he resents their bio parents for giving him up either, so it seems the only people having an issue here are the bio parents who probably feel guilty about giving him up and instead of confronting that feeling they refuse to acknowledge his existence.

# ¿ Apr 27, 2021 09:03

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Evil Willow posted:

A semi-oldie but a goodie. This dude should get together with the chick who was forced into birth and then gave up all of her parental rights and the dad was pissed because she took him at his word and wouldn't bond with her child.

AITA for wanting to see my son?

I will never understand people who see kids as accessories.

# ¿ May 9, 2021 13:52

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

t-.-t posted:

UPDATE: AITA for disinviting a coworker for perpetually spoiling things?

It's pretty funny to imagine spoiling his fun by leading him on a wild goose chase for movies that don't exist.

# ¿ May 16, 2021 23:03

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Soylent Pudding posted:

There are a lot of IT nerds who seem to think that any sort of interpersonal skills is cheating at the "pure meritocracy" that is tech. Almost all of them are insecure white dudes with an aggressive lack of socialization.

Anyone who thinks that IT is a meritocracy is either delusional or has never worked in tech. It's Fake It Til You Make It turned up to 11 and most people never leave the Fake It stage. It works because the people we work for know even less so we look like wizards because we know the right words to put into Google.

# ¿ May 21, 2021 10:49

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

*pokes a stick into the ground*

Done.

# ¿ May 21, 2021 14:40

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

GlyphGryph posted:

IT folks really need to normalize robes as standard business attire for the computer priest.

A lot of IT people have been working from home for close to a year by now. Bathrobes count, right?

# ¿ May 21, 2021 18:56

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

4 years ago.
A text I sent to my (M24) GFs friend (F23) might have costed me my relationship because I was "rude"

Guy's an idiot. He and gf were both having a laugh at the friend projecting hard enough to light up an imax screen, why not just leave it at that?

# ¿ May 24, 2021 08:23

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Evil Willow posted:

An adult daughter who has a curfew that's earlier than 10:30pm. That really stuck out to me!

Anyone who's 18 or older and has a curfew from their family needs to move out ASAP.

e: Also, Hazbin and Helluva Boss are fun shows. Give them a watch.

Collateral Damage fucked around with this message at 08:08 on May 25, 2021

# ¿ May 25, 2021 08:02

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Makeup stealing girl needs to remember that snitches get stitches.

# ¿ May 25, 2021 08:08

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 22:35

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

The Lone Badger posted:

Even I'm not that loving square. And I sometimes get accosted by builders who think I fell out of their toolbag.

I'm going to have to thank blatman for drawing my attention to this excellent joke that I missed.

# ¿ May 25, 2021 09:00

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