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Boyfriend (31M) gets angry when I (33F) told him abt meeting my guy friends from Tinder for dinner. I dated these 2 guys (at different times) way before meeting my current boyfriend. It didn't worked out and eventually we became friends and i would meet them individually once every 4-6 mths just to catch up.. on life in general. One of them is even married now! I've been with my boyfriend for about 6mths and we've known each other for almost a year. I recently told him im meeting a guy friend for dinner and he flew into a rage when he found out that we met on tinder. I got mad and we had a big fight. He insisted that platonic friendships do not exist and because of the circumstances of how i met these guys there will always be "something" 🙄 Which i find it totally ridiculous. Eventually we both cool down and sorta talked about it. I guess i kinda understand his concerns so i caved and said i will not meet them anymore until he's okay with it. But on hindsight, I'm really not sure if this was the right way to deal with the situation. This is my first relationship in a really long time. And im trying to make things work as much as possible. My only other past relationship was in my early 20s and it didn't work out because i was way too immature. So im in need of some relationship advice. What should be the right way to handle this? TL;DR Bf 31M gets jealous/angry when i 33f told him about meeting my guy friend for dinner. Met the guy on tinder and we became friends after dating for a few mths.
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Jan 13, 2020 07:20
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My (23f) fiancé's (23m) mother dislikes me on the basis that she doesn't believe I'm Italian. What do I do? For some background information: I was adopted as a baby, and have no contact with my birth parents. My mother was Japanese and my father was Irish. My (adoptive) parents are both Italian. Like, immigrant Italian--they speak with heavy accents and we speak a lot of Italian at home (I'm fully fluent and have a bit of an accent myself). I was raised Roman Catholic in a predominantly Italian area, and most of my friends growing up were Italian. My name is also a less common Italian name (think Giovanna, but not that). I have, in essence, lived the typical Italian-Canadian upbringing. I never thought twice about this until my fiancé proposed to me. My fiancé and I started dating at seventeen, and his mother has never liked me--she always acted cold and aloof, even passive-aggressive. She seemed to be a bit overbearing (to him), and I always assumed she was one of those mothers who's afraid of her son marrying off and leaving her--she's also a single mother with two other kids, both daughters. Recently, he proposed to me (yay!)--I ugly-cried with joy, and everything was great until we announced it to his family. As a family, we had a nice celebration, and nothing had gone wrong--but after the dinner was over, he got a slew of angry texts from his mother, calling me slurs (not even correct ones) and over-all insulting our relationship and our future children. The general gist of the messages were that she was upset over my "not being Italian," and she was also worried about prospective "half-breed" children who wouldn't be Italian. We were both beyond pissed, and he called his mom and told her off. She tried to make up with him a few days later, telling him that she has no problem with my being Japanese or Irish, even though she's always wanted him to be with a "nice Italian girl" (literally her words). Apparently, she just hates the fact that I "pretend" to be Italian by "faking" my accent, speaking Italian, taking part in Italian traditions, etc. One of my fiancé sisters is married to an Italian man who doesn't speak Italian and is nonreligious (not a problem to me AT ALL, it's just that his mother is hugely religious), yet she considers him to be more acceptable than me. She also says that I've offended her on a few occasions, because when people ask about my race (I get that a lot because I'm biracial), I state that I'm Italian. It's the culture I associate with the most, and I'd rather not detail my family history to every person who asks me what my race is. Also, I'll say things like, "I'm such an Italian stereotype" because I use a lot of expressive hand movements and the like, which she also finds offensive. I found this to be kind of funny, to be honest, because it's kind of absurd and a bit hypocritical because I've heard her make racist jokes on more than a few occasions (besides all the slurs she texted my husband about me). Neither of us responded to this because we were appalled as well as astounded she would even say that. Now, I've started wondering, is the above actually offensive of me? Is this just a ruse because she doesn't like my biological ethnicities? What can I even do? Can I explain this to her? TL;DR: Adopted by Italian parents, raised fully Italian. My birth parents are Japanese and Irish. My fiancé's mother believes I'm faking my Italian accent and other things, and finds this to be personally offensive. She also dislikes the fact that I refer to myself as Italian. Am I being insensitive? Is there a way I can explain this to her?
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Jan 13, 2020 07:46
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AITA for refusing to give my little sister our mother's hair pin for her wedding? I (31F) am the oldest of four sisters (30, 28, 25). My middle sisters both married before me, and I got married last May. At each of our weddings, our "something old" was a flower-shaped hair pin that belonged to our mom. Our mom passed away when we were teens, so having that pin was a way for each of us to include her memory in our special days. Since I got married most recently, I have the pin at my apartment. Last week, my youngest sister announced her engagement in our family group chat, then texted me to ask that I send her the pin. Here's the thing. All my sisters were my bridesmaids, along with some friends. At my bachelorette party, after my friends had left, my sisters and I stayed up, a little drunk and feeling very deep in that post-party kind of way. We started talking about our mother. My middle sisters and I got emotional, saying how much we missed her. My youngest sister, however, was very quiet. I asked her what was up, and she started talking about how she was always our mom's least favorite, how even when mom was dying she didn't say "as good" a goodbye to her as she did to the rest of us, and how – If mom had lived – they'd probably have a terrible relationship. My middle sisters and I tried to talk her out of it, saying that of course our mother loved her and stuff like that, but finally my little sister kind of snapped and just shouted, "Look, I hated that loving bitch, okay?" Then she started crying and went home. The next day, I called my sister. I asked her if she'd meant everything she'd said the night before. She said she did. She said that she knew our mother loved her, and she knew our mother never did anything "bad" to her, but that she could always tell that our mom "secretly regretted having a fourth kid." She suspected our mom had wanted a son, and had been disappointed by a fourth girl. Personally, I don't believe this is true. As the oldest, I had a lot of conversations with my mom before she died that my sisters weren't party to, and she always said that she would have loathed having boys. In fact, I always thought that my youngest sister was her favorite. My sister ended the conversation saying, "Look, that woman might have been my mom, but I didn't like her very much." I responded to my sister's text about the pin saying that I wasn't sure why she wanted to wear it, considering her strained relationship with our mother's memory. My sister responded, "All of you wore it. I should wear it too." I don't think she should wear it just because we did. It's supposed to represent our mom's memory, and if she doesn't look at our mom's memory fondly, I don't want her disrespecting the pin by wearing it dishonestly. I told her that I would hold onto the pin for now, and we could discuss it more later if she reflects more on what the pin actually represents. AITA? Edit: I've texted my sister. I told her that I'd held out on her with the pin because I was holding on to some hurt about what she'd said about our mother last year, but that it wasn't my place to dictate how she dealt with our mother's memory, and certainly not my place to gatekeep our mother's heirlooms. I told her I'd send the pin in the mail tomorrow. Luckily, my sister's a very understanding person, and says she gets why I acted as I did. Thanks for the responses, ya'll. I needed a wake-up call.
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Jan 13, 2020 20:37
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AITA for telling my GF I do not want her sterilising her menstrual cup in our kettle? My GF and I have been together for nearly 2 years now. We get along great and already have moved in with each other. I am a pretty laid back guy and like to "go with the flow", whilst she is very organised and likes to take charge, which works very well for us because we are always pulling in the same direction because our personalities match up well! A couple of months or so ago we were having the conversation about women's sanitary products. We were discussing how expensive they are etc and we got onto the subject of "menstrual cups" (the ones where you can just keep reusing them, so it would save us so much money in the long run. My GF looked them up, we did some research and ordered one (specifically one called "mooncup") It took my GF a while to get used to it, but by her second period she was accustomed to it; problem solved! Now here is where the issue begins... I live in the UK and as many of you probably know, us Brits love a cup of tea... Whenever I make a cup of tea I always empty out the old water from the kettle, just so I can fill it up with fresh water and maximise the flavour. Yesterday I poured all the water out of the kettle to make myself a brew, and my GF's menstrual cup fell out of it!! I was a bit shocked and called out to my GF (in the other room) "Babe, why is your menstrual cup in the kettle?!"; To which she replied "Oh I was boiling it to 'sterilise' it, to make sure it is clean for my next use, I thought you knew, this isn't the first time I have used the kettle to sterilise it" I was lost for words and told her that is disgusting, we drink water from this kettle, who in their right mind would use it to boil something that collects blood from inside of you??? She got pretty upset and we had an argument about it. She thinks I am being unreasonable. Do you guys think I am the rear end in a top hat in this situation??
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Jan 13, 2020 20:48
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AITA for using 23andme against my dad's wishes? I'll make it clear that I'm 24 so not a minor. Also, my dad didn't want me using it because he says they'll sell my DNA to the government, or use it in medical testing, or some bs about it being his DNA too, etc. Anyways, we already knew that I had a half-brother but after using the service I discovered a half-sister, which in turn told me about 2 more half-brothers we don't know about and 3 half-sisters. She messaged me because she was trying to keep in contact with all family. To be honest, knowing my dad's history I wasn't surprised but now I feel but because I brought it up when I found out and realized too late it was a secret and now my mom and sister are pissed. Dad is angry at me now and won't speak. AITA?? Should I have just listened or agreed with him?
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Jan 13, 2020 21:29
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AITA for telling a girl at CrossFit that her yoga pants are see through when they stretch? To be upfront, I don't think that I am an rear end in a top hat at all, but it has turned into a big drama mess that I can't help but wonder. Long story short, we had a CrossFit workout where we were all lined up and doing snatches (barbell from the ground to an overhead low-squat to standing up), and every time this girl in front of my got low I could see her butthole and/or vajayjay. Now I don't know this person, but I figured if somebody could see my bussy I would want a heads up. So after class, I discretely pulled her aside and told her what was up in as un-embarrassing way as I could make it. I had thought that she took it as well as could be but obviously pretty red in the face. Turns out she did not take it well. She reported me to the CrossFit coach and my understanding is that the concern was that I was "enjoying the show" and that's why I waited until the end of class to tell her and that she can't come back to class as long as I am there. Now there are quite a few reasons that I in no way enjoyed that show, the top two of which are that gross, sweaty anuses/vagines do nothing for me and the second is that I like big ol' dicks. Regardless, in less than a week I have become the gym weirdo among a small set of women whose opinions i dont really care about. What I do care about is that, due to the club's policy, I am no longer welcome at the CrossFit classes at that gym. To add insult to injury, a female friend of mine told me that I should have either let it go or told a girl to tell her and that I am in fact the rear end in a top hat despite being well-intentioned. So am I?
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Jan 14, 2020 07:19
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My (46F) husband (38M) does not get jealous that I talk to a guy he knows I like. (Married 14 years) My husband and I are in marriage counseling because of his frequent infidelities over the course of our 14 year marriage. The second time I caught him, I was working with a guy that I fell in love with (who does not know my feelings). I checked out of my marriage and have been in love with him ever since. The third time I caught hubby was just under a year ago, so to throw out there that I could not give a crap anymore about his behavior I told him how I felt about the other guy and left him to stew on it. It was him that drove me to it anyway. A few months before I had reinstated contact with the guy and started using a store he managed. Hubby even went with me a few times and I rubbed it in really good. I never told him how I felt, never hit on him. I have never had so much as a hug from this guy. But he treated me like a queen and still does. My problem is this: Hubby hasn't restricted me from going to see him. He says he's not jealous. I almost think he could care less. I'm hurt by that. It almost makes it seem like he doesn't care that I hang out with this guy that I professed my undying love for. I still cant believe it is all out in the open and I dont understand why I am sticking to trying to fix my marriage. What say you all? Tl;dr Husband not jealous of other men and it doesn't seem normal.
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Jan 14, 2020 07:44
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AITA for celebrating when my bully died? I (17M) been bullied by this one prjck (17M) for 2 years now. I hate him so much. Well, he passed away in his sleep. Cue the whole fake sympathy posts on social media by everyone. Barf. Obviously I didn't let my true feelings be known, but the first thing I did was get on my knees and thank God. Then I decided to just have a "celebration" of sorts to myself. Later that night I ordered a huge 24 inch pizza for myself and watched my favourite movies. I only do this "ritual" of sorts when I'm celebrating something. My sister (25F) knows I only do this when im happy about something so she clued on and asked me what im celebrating. I said im just celebrating the new year. She then put two and two together cos her best friend (25F) is my bully sister (hosed up isnt it? How they're friends). She then questioned whether I was happy, cos she knew about the bullying. I didn't answer. Then she said she felt sick and stormed off. She said I'm a loving rear end in a top hat and degenerate piece of poo poo. Am i reddit?? i can't help how i feel. It's not like i voiced my feelings out loud. AITA?
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Jan 14, 2020 19:09
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AITA for asking to adopt my SIL’s baby that she’s planning on terminating? My younger brother was married to his wife (who he had dated for nearly 2 years) for just over a month before they were involved in an accident in November. My brother passed away while my SIL survived with minor injuries and mild brain trauma. She is technically healed, but suffers from trauma induced epilepsy as a result. Last week, my SIL told me that she just found out that she is nearly 3 months pregnant with my brother’s child. She told me that she does not know what to do, and that she wants to terminate the pregnancy because she does not want to be a single, widowed mother. She says if my brother was alive she would keep the baby for certain, but now she is grieving and does not feel capable of being a mother for a long long time. I didn’t tell my parents because my SIL swore me to secrecy (edit: she told me explicitly not to tell them, she told me while at my house with my husband beside me) but I know that they would be absolutely devastated if they learned that my SIL was planning to terminate her pregnancy, and thereby their grandson/daughter. My brother was their favourite kid and they took the loss hard, especially my mother. I think if she found out it would absolutely tear her apart. I myself am 32 years old and I have a 2 y/o son with my husband of 4 years. I am a SAHM. We were actually thinking of trying for our second child. So, I figured that I would ask my SIL if she would be open to the idea of letting us adopt the baby. I thought this was reasonable. My husband and I are good parents, have a stable income, and live in a big house in a nice neighbourhood. Our son is a sweet boy and would love a little brother or sister. We would be more than capable of providing her child with a good home and happy life. So I invited my SIL over for dinner at my house, and I (alone) asked her what she thought of this possible plan. She reacted very oddly, and was almost angry that I would suggest such a thing. I told her I’m not forcing her into anything, but she accused me of guilt tripping her, because I briefly mentioned that “my parents will be so happy to meet their grandchild.” Again I apologized and told her its just a suggestion, but she was angry and said that she does not want to carry her own child for nearly a year just to hand it over to “almost a stranger”. I said thats unfair, I’ll technically be the child’s aunt and hardly a stranger, but she was still offended and said she had to leave. I typed up an apology text but she never responded. I went over my words and actions at dinner with my husband and he agreed that I approached it as sensitively as possible. AITA for approaching her with this suggestion in the first place?
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Jan 15, 2020 03:13
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AITA for telling my sister that she's never been discriminated against? I (17f) have a twin sister. We're super close and I'm sure this whole thing will blow over, but at the moment this is causing us so much anger that I need to get some outside perspective. My sister and I both identify as bisexual. We live in England where gay marriage has been legal since 2014 (so we were 11). I know that homophobia very much still exists in the UK, but I'm just highlighting the fact that gay people have the same rights as straight people here. I never really came out as bi because honestly, it's 2020 and most people I know are open to trying same sex relationships and being a teenager, there's a lot of people experimenting with gender and not much hate for gay people at all. However, my sister decided to throw a large coming out party in December. It was a good party and we had fun, and I thought it was a cool way for her to express herself and show pride. I want to stress that my sister and I have been in the same classes for our entire school lives, there is no way she has ever been bullied for this. I am 100% certain she has never been bullied. Like I said, we're really close and never really leave each other's side. My sister and I were recently watching an American sitcom and they made the whole 'oh you're bi? so you're gay but in denail' joke. My sister immediately went off on how she's sick of hearing that joke in the media. I was like amen bitch, me too. But then she started going on about how it's so hard for her to live as a bi woman, and how she faces constantly being discriminated against for being bi, and how she 'couldn't even have married the woman she loves' until a few years ago, and it just really struck me rear end off. I get that she's proud of being bi, I am too, but like come on. Gay marriage was legalised when she was so young, civil partnerships even before then, my sister has never known a time when it was legal to be horrible to bi people. She has never been bullied for it. It just seemed like she was trying to identify with gay struggles but came off as very weird. I told her that we're 'lucky to live in a time when being bi is so normal, we've never been discriminated against in our lives'. She basically flipped out and said that because our 'ancestors really fought for us' that we have struggled, and that it's erasure to say otherwise. I get her point, but I don't think it's fair for her to appropriate past struggles and claim she's been through them when she hasn't. We have a loving gay uncle for christ sake, she knew our parents wouldn't have a problem with it. AITA?
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Jan 15, 2020 05:41
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AITA for not shaving my head alongside my coworkers in support of a coworker with cancer? I work at a gas station, have for over a year. It's got a small subway inside, and we have a staff of 8 on the gas station side. Subway has a staff of 10. Our assistant manager on the gas side was diagnosed with cancer and as it usually happens shaved her hair when it began falling out from the chemo. Everyone in the store has decided to shave their heads in support. Everyone. Both gas station side and subway side. I'm the only one who wont and I'm being treated very passive-aggressively. I'm getting snide comments Time to time, when customers ask why everyone shaved their heads all my coworkers give sarcastic responses clearly aimed at me. It's been a few weeks and I'm getting frustrated. I've mentioned it to my manager and she gave me something how they're frustrated that not everyone seems fully committed to wishing our assistant manager good luck. I'm a 27 year old guy. I havent cut my hair in 5 years other than basic trims to remove dead ends and groom it. I'm proud of my hair. I've only cut my hair once since I turned 18. I know it sounds stupid but I am very proud of my hair. I suffer from major depression and my hair is the one thing in my life I feel I have control over, if that makes any sense. Plus I have never found a short hair style that made me feel comfortable or one I felt I looked good in. Tl:dr AITA for not cutting my hair along my coworkers to support a coworker diagnosed with cancer. Coworkers seem to treat me like one
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Jan 15, 2020 17:35
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AITA for disapproving of the age gap between my sister and hew new boyfriend? My sister (30F) has informed me (26M) and rest of the family that she is dating someone. When we pressed for more info, we learned he is only 19. I've met him and honestly, I just don't approve of her age gap. I think its really wrong. I told my sister she has something wrong with her if she thinks this is ok. She then told me that I'm an rear end in a top hat and why can't I be happy for her. Maybe i am harsh on her but to me this isn't ok and weird. My sis is 30 not a teenager anymore. AITA?
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Jan 15, 2020 17:44
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AITA for going against my girlfriend’s wishes to teach a homeless man how to skateboard? I went out for lunch with my girlfriend today. We walked to a restaurant a mile from our college campus. I walked while carrying my skateboard because I use it to get across campus faster. On our way to the restaurant, a quite dirty-looking middle-aged homeless man asked me if I could teach him how to ride a skateboard. I like to stop and interact with homeless people, but my girlfriend hates being near them because she is germaphobic and is intimidated by their presence. However, this homeless man looked quite nice so I said I’ll teach him for a few minutes. My girlfriend was tugging me away and whispering me to just go. I didn’t want to turn down the homeless man because he looked quite nice, so I put the skateboard down and held his hands while he put his feet on the skateboard. I taught him how to push off with his foot and maintain his balance. This went on for about ten minutes until I told him I had somewhere to go. He looked like he had so much fun. My girlfriend was just on her phone and giving us some nasty looks. I gave the homeless man five dollars and told him to save that up to buy his own skateboard. He thanked me profusely for the money and taking the time out my day to brighten his. When I went over to my girlfriend, she backed away and shouted at me to keep some distance and not to touch her until I take a long shower. I talked to her about the joy I brought to the homeless man. She said that I wasted her time and he will almost certainly spend that money on alcohol or drugs and never buy a skateboard. I told her that we got plenty of time and that’s alright if he does spend it on alcohol or drugs, but I at least made someone’s life a little bit better. She said I’m extremely gullible and that he used my kindness against me to obtain more money. I told her to stop being so cynical. After we finished arguing, I went in for a kiss and she backed away and said that was off limits too until I shower. I rolled my eyes and never touched her again. She seemed passive-aggressive for the rest of our lunch date.
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Jan 15, 2020 20:11
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AITA for being disgusted that/embarrasing my boyfriend for jerking off at work? Some context: My (17F) boyfriend (20M) and I work at the same office. It's very laid back with a mostly male staff, and therefore environment. A few weeks ago, BF told me that his friend (also works there) often rubs one out in the bathroom at work. (In the one-room bathrooms) He thought this was hilarious and didn't understand why I found it VERY gross. He made jokes that he should do it too, to which I replied that if he was to do so, I would think he was, firmly, nasty af. We didn't talk about it after that. Today: He tells me that he did the deed on two separate occasions at work. Acts surprised when I ask What The gently caress (TM) is wrong with him. I got a little angry that he just couldn't wrap his head around the idea that I could find this totally disgusting, weird, and totes inappropes; nor could I fully articulate it. I went into the kitchen (at my house) to finish making dinner, and he comes in to wait for his ride home. After he tells me he is leaving I say, "Better stop by OurWorkPlace and rub one out!" He did not find this amusing. He also said that he actually only did it once, "just to see." My dad comes into the kitchen while BF and I are discussing this dilemma. He doesn't catch on enough to know what we're talking about but can tell it's a somewhat heated conversation. Here's where I may be in the wrong though,,,, I ignore my dad's questions and say, "Should we ask my Dad babe? What do you think he'll say?" I had no intention of actually telling my dad what we were talking about, but wanted to use BF's instant backpedal as a point in my argument. Then my Mom comes in, "Hey maybe my mom will have some input! Should we ask her?" They are both confused while BF insists that its nothing. I tell them never mind and they leave. I ask him, if there's nothing weird about it why did you get embarrassed? He gets really pissed and says to NEVER talk to my parents about him maturbating. A few minutes later he leaves. After chilling out a little I'm wondering if I went to far, or if I was justified to find choking the chicken 30 ft from my desk, in the room where I pee and change my tampon, loving nasty. If I were to walk in on someone jerkin it at the office I would assume it was A. a creep, B. a barely pubescent boy who's WiLd HoRmOnEs blind him of social conduct, or C. Literally anyone other than the person that I exclusively have sex with. Wondering if a non partial party can give me reasons why he (or I?) am in the wrong. I just couldn't find the words to explain to him why I was so hosed off. I don't think there is Anything wrong with masturbation, but I found this an obvious exception. Reddit, AITA?
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Jan 15, 2020 20:36
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WIBTA if I throw away my niece's wedding invite? About 5 years ago, my niece went to college and started partying. She would often post pictures of the partying on social media. Her other aunt and uncle, my BIL & SIL are extremely conservative, while my partner and I are fairly liberal, partied in college ourselves and generally dgaf what anyone else does with their life. Judgy BIL made a series of lectureish comments to her which led to her cutting contact him, SIL, grandparents, partner, and me, and blocking us all on social media. She's now spent the last 5 years pretending like we don't exist, despite us making it clear to other family members that we didn't share BIL's judgy opinion. Her mother, the only one we are able to contact, has told us several different versions of lies about why we were cut off and blocked. I gave up trying to reach out 2 years ago. Fast forward to today. Imagine my surprise when we received an invitation to her wedding. I see it as nothing more than a gift grab since we are better off than most of the family and have sent very nice gifts to our other nieces and nephews. My partner will undoubtedly feel pressured by the family to send her a nice gift even if we don't attend, but I say if you've ignored family for 5 years you don't deserve a gift. I'm planning to toss out the invite along with the other junk mail. WIBTA if I threw the invitation in the trash and never told partner that we got it? Edit: I accept the judgment that I wbta for not discussing it with my spouse. I will do that, and also as one commenter suggested, I will reach out to the niece and gauge her reaction before responding to the invite. Thanks to everyone who shared their thoughts, it was very helpful to get an outside point of view on this.
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Jan 15, 2020 21:38
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chitoryu12 posted:
the koom-aid man
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Jan 15, 2020 21:51
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AITA for calling an Uber to take me to the E.R. for a broken bone? I broke my arm last week, I fell off my bike. Yes I'm an adult and yes it's embarrassing. It actually didn't hurt in the moment. I knew it needed to be immobile so I quickly stopped moving my arm. The adrenaline and surprise of it must have taken over. I could tell, in a detached way, I was in shock. I felt very calm, like "whoa, there's my bone sticking out. Cool." I knew I needed to get to the ER. I thought about getting an ambulance but I've heard horror stories about the bills you're stuck with afterwards. I didn't think I could bike safely and none of my friends in town have cars. I was not within walking distance of the closet hospital either. So I wrapped my arm firmly in a scarf to slow the bleeding, then in a sling fashioned from my jacket. I knew it would be OK if it was held still and supported and the pain wouldn't come on for a while. I also locked my bike to a post because I didn't want it stolen. It was all a little awkward one handed but it was fine. I then called an Uber to the ER, thinking that it wouldn't be bad, I would be able to get there quick and for $20 rather than hundreds at least. I got in the Uber and the driver and I didn't talk at first other than to say hi. I don't think he noticed my sling, he was messing with his phone and I sat in the back. He asked if I wanted to be dropped off at the main entrance, and I said I'd like to be dropped at the entrance to the ER. He asked why, and I said I'd broken my arm a couple minutes ago. Around then, the pain had started to come back, badly. I could tell the adrenaline that had kept me from feeling much was wearing off. I started sweating badly and gritting my teeth when we hit bumps. The driver asked "shouldn't you have gotten an ambulance" and I said I didn't want to pay hundreds to a thousand for a short ride. To my surprise, he started cussing me out, saying I shouldn't be in his car, he's not an ambulance, what stupid poo poo was I thinking. He was looking back at me and I knew I was in rough shape, my jacket sling was bloody, I was sweating bullets, I was grimacing whenever the car moved. I was begging him, just take me a couple more miles to the ER and he was raising his voice and saying I was a dumb reckless woman, I needed to call 911 not uber, etc. He did get me there though, seeming really tense all the way. Honestly he was the last thing on my mind in the moment, I was hurting like anything and was just staring at the distance on the GPS. I got to the hospital and got fixed up just fine. I felt some resentment for the Uber driver for not being able to keep his cool, raising his voice at me, etc. But when I told my dad about everything,he said the driver was kind of right, it was a lot to ask someone who's not an emergency services worker to take responsibility for me. And that he would have paid for an ambulance if it came to that. AITA for calling an Uber to go to the ER? (Edit to add, I've had a good bit of emergency medical training, including wilderness first aid because I enjoy camping, hiking, and climbing in often remote areas. I felt pretty confident that I had a good gague of what state I was in, and what I needed. I was monitoring my blood loss, pulse, physical reactions to adrenaline coming and fading. I didn't feel that I was in any risk of passing out or dying in the car)
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Jan 15, 2020 22:31
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My ex girlfriend lives in my house and wants to take me to court because I don’t want to babysit her child. My girlfriend recently cheated on me and is still living in my home. I obviously would like her and her daughter to leave and find there own place but so far I’ve been watching her daughter while she goes to work. I’d pick her up from daycare and watch her since she WAS my girlfriend. Since she cheated on me. I’m fine with her new boyfriend picking her up. Since it’s not legally my child. Yesterday I went to meet a friend for a beer for the first time in months. I discussed the break up. How she lied and cheated and manipulated me. How she never pays any bills except internet. She texts me that she had to miss work because she was expecting me to be home and watch her. I’m not the biological father. It’s my home and they are allowed to stay there for three weeks which is the timeline I’ve given her. She texted me today that she wants to take me to court for domestic issue. That me not babysitting is preventing her from going to work. The child is not mine. She has a new boyfriend. I don’t feel like I have to be pressured into being a babysitter. Is there anything I can do? Does she have a case? I live in Connecticut. EDIT: The terms she threw around is that it’s “financial abuse” because I’m preventing her from going to work at 8:00pm due to her not having anyone watch her daughter. I’m usually home at that time but occasionally I would like to go to the gym or do my own activities. So then someone would have to watch her.
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Jan 15, 2020 22:42
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AITA for playing a movie soundtrack in the background when I opened up about my father to my girlfriend? My girlfriend (24F) has wanted me (25M) to open up more about my relationship with my father (55M). I'm not that great about opening up, though I've been working on it. My relationship with my father is probably my most sensitive area. It is very difficult for me to talk about it without devolving into a crying mess and losing composure. I'm an otherwise rsther distant and detached person, which I've been trying to work on. What I've began doing is playing music when I express these bottled up feelings. I finally agreed to open up about it to my GF, but I got my phone out and played the music below: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PjzZ_0KSYVg I then began opening up but half way through my girlfriend turned my phone off and said this is ridiculous. She said I am an rear end in a top hat for.making this into a joke, that why can't I just open up normally. Now.i feel hurt. AITA?
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Jan 15, 2020 23:39
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AITA for accepting money in exchange for inviting my dad's wife to my wedding? Literally same old story where my dad got a woman he was cheating with pregnant. My mom divorced him immediately and has married a nice guy last year. My siblings and I have basically very little contact with our father for the past several years. My dad is hurt by it and keeps trying but we've just moved apart. When my brother and sister got married, they invited just my dad and not his wife. And he was paying for half the wedding each time. Now it's my wedding coming up. Both my fiance and felt that having an expensive wedding was pointless and would rather use our money on a house downpayment. I told my dad that it was going to be a small backyard wedding and that it'd be better if he showed up without his wife. Well apparently, his wife has given him an ultimatum that if she isn't invited to my wedding she's done with the marriage. She wants to be "legitimized" in front of our family her words. So my dad pleaded with me but I stayed firm, saying it was a small wedding and that it'd be too awkward. Well..my dad then offers to pay for a larger wedding, all of it except for the wedding dress that my mom is making me. He also broke down in tears and I have to admit I felt a little bad for him. I said I'd talk to my fiance and get back to him. WIBA if I took this offer? My fiance is ok either way.
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Jan 16, 2020 01:29
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AITA for talking frankly about my abortion, when my coworker was making some wild generalizations about what abortions are like? I was in the break room at work and my coworker Arthur who tends to talk a lot about politics... Got to talking about politics. It was me, my coworker John who I'm good friends with, Adam who I don't know too well, and Arthur in the room. I was kinda sitting back from the discussion because I wanted to chill and eat lunch. But it kind of annoyed me that Arthur was making comments about women getting abortions without knowing what they're getting into, making impulse decisions because they're scared of Parenthood. As if this is a big thing that happens often. I spoke up and said I didn't think it was like that; our state has mandatory counseling and meetings to make sure the person is giving informed consent. And I didn't think anyone was going about it willy nilly without knowing what they were doing. He got kind of blustery, saying "how do you know that they don't just rush you through that, tick a few boxes?" I said that when I'd had mine, I had a very practical and informative counseling session that gave me a lot of information on my options, what I'd expect from the procedure, what my specific risks of continuing with a pregnancy would be, due to a medical condition of mine. And I didn't feel at all like I was doing something I didn't understand. It was really awkwardly silent for a bit. Arthur told me that wasn't appropriate for me to have said at work, and it's something I ought to keep quieter. I bit back the childish urge to comment that he started it. Later, John, my friend from work said he thought it was funny, how I threw Arthur's assumptions in his face, but he thinks I ought to be a little more careful because Arthur is probably gonna think differently of me now. I don't feel ashamed to talk about it, but I do see how it was a lot to say at work... AITA for talking frankly about my abortion?
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Jan 16, 2020 02:33
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AITA for asking the flight attendant if there are any empty seats because I can’t stand the smell of the person sitting next to me? I just got back from a trip with my girlfriend. The flight back was from Japan to America. We sat in economy class. My girlfriend got the window seat because she likes looking out there and I was in the middle seat. Five minutes after we boarded, a man of South Asian descent took the aisle seat next to mine. I’m far from racist, but I’m very sensitive when it comes to the smell many South Asian people give off. A lot of my friends are too. It’s probably a mixture of the spices they eat and the cologne worn as a futile attempt to mask the smell of the spices exiting their pores. I got a mad headache within seconds, so I whispered to my girlfriend if she could switch seats with me while pointing at my nose. She knows about my sensitivity to such smell, but apparently she’s one of the few people I know that are immune to it. She whispered that moving one seat isn’t going to make a difference so I better suck it up. I had to find a way to move seats because it would be excruciating to have to sit next to him for the next ten hours. Everyone had already boarded by then and I couldn’t find any open seats as I walked up and down the aisle. A flight attendant told me to get back to my seat because we were taking off soon. I asked her if she knew if there are any open seats I could move to. She said there aren’t any and asked me why I wanted to move. I told her that I can’t stand the smell of the person sitting next to me. She said I could quickly try asking someone to exchange seats with me. I was scoping for couples who looked like they could be willing to exchange seats with my girlfriend and I, but I didn’t have enough time to spot any before another flight attendant told me to sit down. I’m naturally kind of shy and don’t like to make a scene, so I just sat back down to my seat. I whispered to my girlfriend about my interaction with the flight attendant. She was dismissive likely because she doesn’t understand my sensitivity and because she doesn’t want to make the man sitting next to me feel awkward. The first few hours were hard to bear, but I got a little more used to the smell as time went on. After the flight, my girlfriend said that it wasn’t a big deal because I seemed totally fine throughout the flight. She said that she felt embarrassed with the way I acted, from the way I secretly whispered to her as soon as the man sat down to the way I whispered to her again as soon I sat down for the second time and to the way I actually had the gall to complain about the man’s smell to the flight attendant because it had racist connotations. She said that I was very immature and need to learn how to tolerate these very normal smells. Usually I can for a short time, but in a confined space with recycled air for ten hours is quite a torture. I tried getting the gravity of my sensitivity through to her, but it was to no avail.
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Jan 16, 2020 03:39
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I’m sick of my mom(48f) randomly flashing me(20f) I live with my mom, dad, and sister(18f). My mom and thinks it’s funny to just randomly pull up her shirt and flash me her boobs. She’s done it for years and it has always made me mad and uncomfortable, but recently it has gotten more frequent (daily). My dad also thinks it’s funny that she does this. I hate that she does this and it makes me very uncomfortable and disgusted. I tell her how repulsed I am, and that as my mother, she shouldn’t be doing that. She just laughs and continues to do it. I’m not sure what to do to make her stop, but I can’t take it anymore. TL;DR My mom flashes me her boobs daily, and it makes my very uncomfortable. She thinks it’s funny and nothing I say makes her stop.
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Jan 16, 2020 07:04
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WIBTA if is miss my GF's father's funeral to attend my best friend's wedding? Throwaway because a few of the people involved are on here. I'll try to keep this short and sweet. So my best friend since childhood is getting married on Saturday. The wedding will be in our hometown, about 4.5 hours from where I currently live. I have tomorrow off and was planning on leaving early in the morning with my GF of 2 years to be home for the rehearsal dinner. I am the best man. My GF's father had a sudden heart attack on Tuesday and unfortunately passed away early yesterday morning. I was upset because I had become somewhat close with him. My GF is obviously devastated. I have barely slept the last 2 days, doing my best to be there for her. My boss luckily allowed me to take the rest of the week off to be with her and her family. Here is the issue: her mother just came back from the funeral home and let us know that the funeral will take place on Saturday (showing from 1 to 5, services and burial directly afterwards). I went pale as soon as I heard this and started sweating. I had almost forgotten about the wedding but this sparked my memory. I turned to my GF and said "that's the day of best friend's wedding". She immediately started crying harder than I've ever seen her. She could barely talk, and her mother and sister started asking if I was really going to leave and go to the wedding. I kinda went blank and didn't know how to answer. My GF finally was able to get out a "please don't leave me." before she started crying again. I just sat there for a few minutes before getting up to use the restroom (where I currently am). This wedding has been in the works for nearly 2 years and is something I have been looking forward to. I really feel like I will be the rear end in a top hat if I go but I wanted another outside opinion. EDIT: So I was just basically kicked out of her house. We were sitting in the living room and her mom asked again what I would be doing Saturday. I made a decision and said "I'll come to the funeral." Apparently she didn't like the way I replied and said "Wow don't sound too excited." very sarcastically. I replied, "I didn't think this is really something I should sound excited for". She said that it's obvious I want to go to the wedding. My GF started balling again and I tried to calm her down. I stood up and grabbed my phone, saying I was stepping outside to call best friend to let him know I wouldn't make it. Before I even made it out of the room GF yelled and said how can I even think about that right now. I tried to explain that I had to let him know so he could adjust plans, and she said "Just loving go. We all know you want to." I couldn't even reply and tried to sit back down but she told me to leave so I did. I am really trying to give the the benefit of the doubt because she is an emotional wreck but I'm not sure where to even go from here. I'm sitting in a McDonald's parking lot typing this. UPDATE: I am currently home. I tried calling her a few times and she didn't answer. I went and knocked on her door and they didn't answer but I know they are there. I'm going to give her a bit and call again. I texted her letting her know that I am committed to being there for her at the funeral. I'm going to call my friend when he gets off at 7 and let him know that I will not be able to make the wedding. Please stop sending nasty messages. I did not ask for this and hardly think I should be treated like poo poo for not immediately saying I'm going to the funeral. I would honestly say the wedding was in the top 3 things in my life I've ever been looking forward to. The fact that I was going to celebrate the best day of my best friend's life has been something I've thought about everyday since he asked me to be his best man a year ago. I've lost weight to look good in pictures and spent hours making sure the speech is perfect. I love him like a brother and it is going to kill me not to be there Saturday. So thanks for making me feel even worse about not immediately agreeing to trade in one of the best days of my life for undoubtedly one of the worst.
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Jan 17, 2020 02:29
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My [29M] best friend [28M] and his wife [27F] are pregnant and I am afraid to tell my wife [29F]. I just found out that my best friend and his wife are expecting their first child. My wife struggles with comparisons with them and has throughout our relationship. They are well off and while we don't struggle, certainly have to make more sacrifices than them. She thinks I want their life, and while some aspects I do, I do not make this comparison as much as she does. Anyways, we have an almost 3 year old and I have not been wanting to have another kid yet as our first came earlier than expected. So I have "made" her wait for another one as we paid down debt and got a house and things of that sort. However, any time someone even relatively close to us gets pregnant, she gets very upset and goes off on how its not fair that I am making her wait. I was not ready to have another kid until now, but told her we could start trying this month. January has always been the plan to try, but I just found out last week my friend and his wife are pregnant. So we did not make this decision based on them at all. However I am afraid of the reaction that is to come when I tell her. On top of it all, it never seems to matter that we already have a child and that other people are having their first. It's always a mess when it comes up and I know that this time will be the worst. Not sure what to do. She always says things like "must be nice their husbands want to have a kid and are excited." This is obviously one sided from my perspective, but I was always just trying to do what I thought was best for my family and myself. TL;DR: My best friend and his wife are pregnant and I am afraid to tell my wife as I know she will be upset. Edit: I will add that the original timeline I said was September of last year to start trying, but then some stuff happened and I said January. In my mind it was just 3 months but in her mind I “pulled the rug out from under her.” If that changes anything.
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Jan 17, 2020 02:47
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AITA for kicking SIL out of my house for repeatedly asking to buy my desk? (it's not for sale) My sister in law Erin (26F) came to my (29F) place yesterday to have lunch. My husband was at work. The office door was open (it's usually closed) and Erin noticed my redwood desk. My Dad made me that desk when I was 15 and it holds sentimental value for me and I would never sell it. Erin was curious about the desk and asked me a lot about it's history. Erin and I talked about the desk for a while - she said it was gorgeous and she wished she had one like it - but I was completely caught off guard when Erin suddenly offered me $700 straight up to buy my desk. Now I personally think it's rude to walk into someone's home and offer to buy a random piece of their furniture when the owner hasn't specificied it's for sale. I just told her the desk is a sentimental piece made by my Dad and I wasn't planning to sell it anytime soon. Erin, however, continued to push the issue and offered me more money for the desk. I kept reiterating that the desk was NOT for sale but despite my repeated refusal she continued to barter with me. She got very pushy and I quickly became uncomfortable with the situation. After about 5 minutes of this I'd had enough. I told Erin to leave my house and I outlined why her attempts to buy my desk were rude and made me uncomfortable. Erin seemed confused like she hadn't done anything wrong. She left my house in silence. About an hour later I get a call from my husband (Erin's brother) that his sister has been on the phone to him in tears because I kicked her out. I tried to explain my side of the situation but my husband doesn't think Erin did anything wrong by offering to buy the desk - even though she was pushing the issue with me and didn't listen when I repeatedly told her NO the desk is NOT for sale. Erin is still upset about this and I don't know whether I should apologize or stick to my guns.
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Jan 17, 2020 02:53
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AITA for stranding my boss in Vegas since he wasn’t ready to go on time? So my boss is a good guy but has absolutely no concept of time. He’ll say he’s five minutes away when he hasn’t left his house yet, show up an hour late to meetings, etc. Last week we were in Vegas for a convention for work. I drove, and in my car it was me, my boss and his wife, and two other coworkers. After three days of waiting for him to turn up to the convention, dinner reservations, etc we were tired and wanted to leave early so we didn’t hit traffic. We agreed that we’d meet in the lobby at 8am and I (along with his wife) told him that we’d leave if he wasn’t there in time. Everyone else was ready to go by 7, we packed up the car and we’re just waiting for him to get ready to leave. At 730 his wife goes to check on him and he tells her he’ll be down in 10 minutes. We gamble to kill time til 8 and when he hasn’t shown up, we call him (twice, he doesn’t answer) and get in the car and leave. About 90 minutes into the drive home, he calls and is furious that we’d actually leave him. He ended up having to stay another night since he couldn’t get a flight that day. Today was the first day he can into work since then, and he wasn’t too mad, and said he’d try harder to be on time. When I told my gf she thought that it’s a lovely thing to do especially to a boss. Since he wasn’t that mad in the end, and might have learned a lesson, AITA for leaving without him?
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Jan 17, 2020 03:01
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AITA for not tipping UberEats drivers if they make me come outside? For those of you who have ever ordered food via UberEats, you know that there's an option to select "deliver to door" or "pick up outside." The first several times I ordered through UberEats, I selected the "deliver to door" option and tipped the driver through the website/app, but I literally never had a driver bring the food all the way up to my apartment door. They always waited outside the building and called me to come down. I suspected that they were just being lazy because they knew I had already tipped them, so eventually I decided to try not tipping through the website/app but instead putting a comment in the delivery notes that says, "$3 tip if delivered directly to apartment door." My suspicion proved to be correct because I immediately noticed a dramatic increase in the number of drivers who brought the food up to my apartment. About 50% of them were now doing it, so I kept my word and gave them $3 cash. The other 50% still called me to come down, so I just didn't tip them because clearly they didn't want it bad enough if they weren't willing to go in the building and up the elevator. Last night my girlfriend was over and we ordered pizza through UberEats. Eventually I got a call from the driver saying he was outside, so I started to leave my apartment, and my girlfriend said, "Don't forget your wallet." I said, "I'm not tipping him because he didn't bring the food all the way up." She said, "That's kind of a dick move." I completely disagree with her. If I'm ordering food for delivery, it's because I don't want to get dressed and go outside. Making me leave my apartment and go downstairs is the equivalent of delivering to a house but waiting at the end of the driveway so the person has to walk outside to get the food. Additionally, a tip is just that: a tip. Meaning something that is provided for going above and beyond, and refusing to bring the food up is the antithesis of exemplary service. Finally, the note I always include in my orders is very clear. It's not like it's a surprise to these drivers that they aren't getting tipped if they don't want to walk an extra few feet. Thoughts?
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Jan 17, 2020 03:49
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1redflag posted:Why the gently caress would you post anything about tipping on these forums. Do you know what you’ve done?!? honestly in my experience, this thread is pretty calm when it comes to tipping/circumcision/well done steaks/trump/etc. it's always going to be something completely innocuous that gets a real derail started.
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Jan 17, 2020 04:04
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AITA for deglazing my skillet with white wine when making dinner for an ex-alcoholic? My husband and I have known Jessica since college (about 10 years), and her husband Tim since they met (about 5 years), so we're really good friends. When they started dating, Tim was still drinking alcohol. He didn't drink it to the point of loving up his life, but he would drink almost every day, and it started to affect his health, so 3 years ago he stopped drinking all together. Anyway, we all had dinner at our place, and while my husband and I were in the kitchen, putting dishes away and taking out dessert, Jessica came to help us. On the counter, she saw a bottle of white wine, looked a bit confused and asked "didn't you have red wine at dinner?" (Tim told us ages ago that he doesn't mind if we have alcoholic drinks in his company). I said that we did, I just used a bit of white wine to deglaze my skillet while cooking. She immediately started shouting stuff like what the gently caress is the matter with me, putting wine in an alcoholic's dinner. I said I used the tiniest amount and the heat was so high that the alcohol evaporated. She wouldn't stop shouting, so her husband came to the kitchen as well, and she told him what happened. He seemed confused so I asked him if he'd tasted any alcohol in the dinner, and he said no. Jessica said it doesn't matter that he didn't taste it, it was still there. In the end, they left. I texted her the next day to say I was sorry, and that I didn't realize it would be such a problem since you can't actually taste it, but that in the future, I won't use wine when cooking. She texted me that her husband felt sick after dinner and she doubts they will be coming over to our place again. That was the last thing she told me. My husband thinks she might be lying about Tim being sick because he thinks we'd already had the same dinner once before, but neither one of us can remember. Regardless of that, we're not sure if it was an rear end in a top hat thing to use wine when cooking for someone who is sober.
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Jan 17, 2020 05:41
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AITA for reminding my girlfriend it was HER decision to have an abortion? Hi reddit, this situation is getting out of hand so I thought I'd ask here. I (25M) have dated my girlfriend (25F) for 6 years now. About 5 months into our relationship, I got her pregnant. This is in SPITE of the fact that I wore protection. We were only 19, so I thought she'd come to her senses and decide to abort. However, she slowly began to warm to the idea of keeping the child and raising it. I tried very hard to show her the other side. My parents contacted her to voice their disapproval of keeping the baby, but this didn't sway her. So then I contacted HER parents, and they sided with me. This swayed my girlfriend a bit more. Ultimately, it was only when I told her that I would leave her if she kept the baby, that she agreed. Now this wasn't me abandoning responsibility, but rather it was me stating my boundaries. If she wanted to bring a kid into our lives, then I would walk away. I'd pay whatever support was necessary, but she would be making a decision that alienated lots of people. It wasn't just about her. We have stayed together since, however these past few months she has been acting different. She starts bringing up this abortion, and asking why I was so against it. Then the other day, she goes crazy. She asks me why I didn't support her, and that it was a ''mistake'' to have an abortion. I then reminded her ''It was YOUR decision to have an abortion. We all said our piece, but don't blame this on anyone else. YOU chose this''. She then began crying alot and called me rear end in a top hat. We haven't spoken since, and her friends have taken her side. Ultimately I think she is trying the blame game. AITA?
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Jan 17, 2020 08:51
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WIBTA for setting up a Satanic altar in my living room? My landlord is selling the house that I live in and hosting an open house this Saturday. My lease isn’t up until June, but it is very likely they will try to force me to move out early. Yes I know this is illegal and yes I am looking into the proper legal avenues to take. I have a very large painting of Satan that my partner and I purchased off of one of their college classmates a few years ago. It currently hangs in an office that we don’t use much. I want to move it to the living room for Saturday. We have a small table in the living room that normally holds cat food, but as the cats have to be out of the house for the open house, I want to move the cat food temporarily and drape the table in a tablecloth I normally use for Halloween. I will put it under the painting of Satan and deck it out with black taper candles so it looks like an altar. I also have a few pentagram decorations inherited from my Wiccan mom that I can put out for good measure. My thinking is I can’t stop the open house, but I can definitely put people off of buying it. I like my house and would like to stay while I can. Edit: The reason I think I will be evicted is because I've asked the landlords and they are being cagey and claiming they can't answer my questions. So I am preparing for the worst. Buying the house myself is not an option because I'm broke.
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Jan 17, 2020 17:54
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AITA for outing my sister for having gotten cosmetic surgery to her boyfriend after she made fun of our waitress’s appearance? I (19M) have two siblings, both older sisters, Lucy (24F) and Lily (22F). Lucy is absolutely fine. I don’t hate Lily, but she sometimes makes fun of people’s appearances, including Lucy’s and mine. This has been going on for a decade, albeit much less often nowadays. I have never spoken up when she made fun of other people’s looks before, but I’ve since grown out of my timidity to stick up for others. I don’t think I’m even close to ugly, so I never cared when she made fun of my looks. I just write Lily off as being insecure and having body dysmorphia. She has gotten her nose, lips, cheeks, forehead, and boobs done I don’t even know how many times between ages 19 and 21. She was objectively pretty before and got more compliments for her looks from our relatives than Lucy got. Her procedures are subtle except for the boobs, so her face looks pretty natural still. Lily’s last boyfriend knew about her procedures. He paid for most of them. I wasn’t sure if her current boyfriend knew. They’ve been together for five months. I met Lily and her boyfriend for dinner last night. Our waitress was a little overweight and knocked into our table twice as she was walking around. The second time, Lily told us that it must suck being that fat and that ugly. I’m okay if she makes fun of my looks since I think I’m pretty good-looking, but I dislike it when she makes fun of other people’s looks. I told her that someone who has gotten half a dozen cosmetic surgeries shouldn’t be making fun of other people’s looks. Lily and her boyfriend both looked surprised. He said to Lily that he thought she only got her boobs done. I told him to add nose, lips, cheeks, forehead, and whatever else I don’t know about to that list, not to mention microdermabrasion, skin whitening creams, fat burner pills, and what have you. He said he had no idea. Lily asked me what the gently caress was wrong with me. I told her that she shouldn’t be such a hypocrite and should really grow up and stop making fun of people’s looks. Her boyfriend voiced his agreement. He said that he couldn’t tell she got any work done on her face even after looking at her childhood and high school photos. I said that I don’t know why she went through all that trouble to look pretty much the same. Lily told us to stop talking about this with so many other people within earshot. I didn’t notice anyone paying attention to us, but we didn’t talk about that anymore. Lily seemed anxious the rest of the dinner. Lily texted me later last night that I’m a dirtbag for embarrassing her in public like that. I told her to use this as a lesson to become a better person. She told me not to talk to her that way. I sent her an eye roll emoji 🙄. She didn’t respond.
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Jan 17, 2020 18:04
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AITA for being mean to the driver who was in a car wreck which ended up killing one of my friends? I will be referring to the driver as D, the victim who died as J and the other person as B about 2 weeks ago there was this really bad car wreck that had 7 people from my school. It was a speeding accident where 5/7 were in the bed of the truck and the whole truck rolled over. Everyone but the driver was injured and 4 had to get surgery and one sadly succumbed to his injuries and died in the hospital. The one who died was a really close friend of mine, I was heart broken cause I was literally on the phone with him like 10 minutes before the wreck. Everyone knows who the driver is and he still showed up to school which honestly I can respect, I wasn't really close with him but I saw him around and he was sad the first day back after the wreck. That all changed tho, literally the next day back when everyone is still grieving and D starts cracking jokes like nothing happened and he didn't speed down a hill and flip over a truck. I am in the same class as him and he acted like literally nothing happened and was cracking jokes. I overheard one that made my skin crawl he said something like "maybe J was actually in the front where I wanted him he wouldn't have died" and started laughing along with 2 others. I was pure disgusted by that, here is this kid who basically killed someone and then JOKED about it 2 days after the fact. This all happened yesterday, he was talking to this guy who sits next to me (the driver was in front of me) and said something like "Yeah B is home now, he has his whole jaw wired cause it got broken". I added myself to the convo and said "wow how did B break his jaw, must have been something pretty crazy huh?" and looked right at him. He got sad and turned around. I went to eat lunch with my friends cause it was finals and we always do that, I told them the story of what I did and some said they agree with what I did and others said I went too far. IDK what to think anymore so reddit I ask you AITA here?
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Jan 17, 2020 18:19
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I definitely posted a previous story about Elsa and Anna, I think it was before Christmas
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Jan 17, 2020 18:52
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Stuff with the family members acting delusional along with the GF/BF etc always creeps me out the most. One person being bizarre is one thing, but when it’s a team... the reveal of the husband knowing his mom was poisoning his wife was the pinnacle
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Jan 17, 2020 19:28
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There is no easy way to masturbate into a small plastic container. I find this out as I approach climax, simultaneously holding the container in place while stoking my erection with the other hand. Truth be told, I don’t actually masturbate very often — perhaps something about the act I continue to find shameful.
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Jan 18, 2020 03:41
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AITA for leaving my own work meetings if people can't control their tempers? I work at a engineering company, on a software team, it's pretty old school and all of my coworkers are older men with families. I'm 22, a woman, an out lesbian, don't know the first thing about kids, and single, so I don't exactly fit in. It kind of sucks, I'm interviewing for other jobs currently, my plan is to leave as soon as my 401k is vested. A lot of my coworkers can get pretty heated about things, they are really opinionated about engineering decisions and their conversations get... Intense. Like raised voices, even yelling about disagreements. I know two of my coworkers pride themselves at getting new employees to cry during code reviews... yikes. No wonder the company can't retain anyone but the lifers. Anyway, it really sucks when I call a design review or code review for something I've done, and a couple guys will try and be argumentative with me. (I don't engage, I stay dead calm and it's real hard to have a heated argument with someone who just sits back and chills out and waits for you to be done.) And it really REALLY sucks when I try to hold a meeting and they get in a disagreement with each other about something I did. Like one likes my design choices and another doesn't. I can't really chill the conversation out because they'll just go at each other and derail everything. Hell, some of my coworkers once showed up to a meeting of mine, still arguing about something from their last meeting!! So when that stuff starts happening, I've gotten in the habit of unplugging my computer (which has my code or diagrams) from the projector and walking out. Then sending an email from my desk along the lines of Good afternoon, I am rescheduling the meeting on (topic) to (date), as we were unable to finish today after the meeting (got off topic / became uncivil and unproductive / etc). I hope that when we reconvene (we will be able to have a productive discussion / we will all be able to stay on track / everyone will be ready to deliver feedback calmly. OP It's been a lot better for me mentally; I was so done with being surrounded with that kind of childish drama and ego. It's been really nice to just stand up and walk out. And, sometimes a takes a few tries, but it works. When certain people on my team realize they'll have to keep control of themselves to do anything at all; they manage to. But it's also caused some issues, I can tell the most argumentative members of my team resent it, and it seems to make them mad I am trying to tell them to control themselves. And its also delayed some work getting done; as there's so much time spent waiting for people to chill and try again. Some of my coworkers are getting really frustrated with me, to the point of trying to demand I come back and finish the meeting rather than rescheduling. Especially if rescheduling is delaying something they need. AITA for my method of having more chill meetings?
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Jan 18, 2020 03:52
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AITA for not honoring my dad’s dying request to let everyone know that my cousin is actually his child? My dad died a few weeks ago. On his deathbed he told me that my cousin Lauren, the daughter of my father’s brother James, is actually my half-sister as the product of an affair between my dad and Uncle James’ wife Alice. I won’t go into details to minimize the risk of being identified, but apparently Uncle James, Aunt Alice and my dad all knew the truth. My dad wanted to acknowledge Lauren as his child but Aunt Alice wanted to keep the affair a secret and raise Lauren as her and Uncle James’ child. My dad agreed to what Aunt Alice wanted because he loved her, and initially he was going to let the truth die with him (Uncle James and Aunt Alice passed away a few years ago) but on his deathbed he had a change of heart. He said that he wanted to finally be able to acknowledge Lauren and leave her with the same inheritance that my siblings and I will get. I was shocked because I always thought my parents had a happy marriage and I was gutted that my dad cheated on my mom. I didn’t say anything after he died because part of me was angry that he cheated, and for all that he talked about wanting to finally be a dad to Lauren, he didn’t even have the decency to admit the truth to everyone himself. Instead he left it to me to deal with everything after he was, conveniently for him, dead. I also didn’t want to burden my mom with the grief of knowing that her ‘perfect husband’ cheated on her and would have left her for his sister-in-law if Aunt Alice hadn’t told him that they should stay with their families. The only thing I feel guilty about is that I know Lauren is entitled to inherit from my dad who left a sizable estate. But it’s not like she’s being cheated out of money that she desperately needs because Uncle James and Aunt Alice were well-off themselves and Lauren got almost everything when they died. I’ve been keeping this all to myself for the past weeks because I can’t tell anyone I know in real life. But I want to know what other people think. Maybe I just need to get this off of my chest, maybe I want validation… but yeah I want to know what you guys think.
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Jan 18, 2020 04:23
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| # ¿ Apr 25, 2024 10:06 |
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Am I out of line to ask my (48F) husband (50M) to stop looking at porn with teenagers and stop buying sex services online? Throwaway because this is embarassing. I (48F) recently discovered, because we recently started sharing one computer account, that my husband (50M) has been jerking off to teenagers. We have three daughters (26, 23, 19) and it's just appalling to me that a man like himself is masterbating to women younger than our own children! Some of these girls are only 18!!! I know he's less attracted to me than he used to be, he rarely ever starts sex and he often turns me down for sex saying it's just his age catching up to him or he's tired or stressed out. Yet he has plenty of energy to watch porn of girls and fantasize about loving them and he’s apparently buying their “services” with chats and videos and photos. I really just feel like giving up. I talked to my therapist about it at my last appointment and she recommended I talk to him about how uncomfortable I am with some of his porn habits and how it makes me feel. I did. I told him it makes me feel awful about myself and our marriage, I questioned why he needs such young women to look at, and could he please find something else and not interact with them? It went really bad. He accused me of being “pathologically insecure” and that it's "normal and healthy" for men to want to enjoy sexy young women and he can't help what age they are, he just looks for stuff that turns him on. He will not stop looking for what he likes or interacting with them and I need to "get over it". We do not have one of those "open" marriages I've read about on here, so doing sex stuff with other people is not something we agreed on or anything. When I said that, he told me I'm being stupid, controlling, and "online sex is not like real life". To make matters worse, I talked to my sister about all of this when we were out shopping this past weekend and she called me today saying she’s not comfortable being around my husband because she says he is “cheating with e-whores”. So am I unreasonable for asking him to find something else besides extremely young women and to stop buying services from them? He says so and I am not sure if I’m out of line on this. How can I keep talking about this with him when he's set in his stance? Should I let it go and try and move on/ignore it because it is just who he's attracted to and that's not conscious? tl;dr I don't know if I'm unreasonable to request my (48F) husband (50M) to stop looking at porn that includes teen women (of legal age) and to stop paying for sexual interactions when he says it's normal man thing and if I should try and move past it and how to do that or if I should keep trying to talk to him about it.
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Jan 18, 2020 06:25
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