r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Skimming the nazi thing I was like 'Just do it and peg the gently caress out of him the whole time and tell him its pivotal to the character' than I realized it was the opposite way around...

# ¿ Jan 13, 2020 13:29

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 04:48

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

YOUNG MAN! I was once shrimped like you I said YOUNG MAN! Down and out with the blues.

# ¿ Jan 14, 2020 04:03

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Burn the bridges, burn the bridges.

# ¿ Jan 14, 2020 05:18

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

go back in time and don't make the gently caress out with a coworker while describing it as 'it felt so good it was like I wasn't in control of my body' you loving redditor

# ¿ Jan 14, 2020 06:55

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling a girl at CrossFit that her yoga pants are see through when they stretch?

To be upfront, I don't think that I am an rear end in a top hat at all, but it has turned into a big drama mess that I can't help but wonder.

Long story short, we had a CrossFit workout where we were all lined up and doing snatches (barbell from the ground to an overhead low-squat to standing up), and every time this girl in front of my got low I could see her butthole and/or vajayjay. Now I don't know this person, but I figured if somebody could see my bussy I would want a heads up. So after class, I discretely pulled her aside and told her what was up in as un-embarrassing way as I could make it. I had thought that she took it as well as could be but obviously pretty red in the face.

Turns out she did not take it well. She reported me to the CrossFit coach and my understanding is that the concern was that I was "enjoying the show" and that's why I waited until the end of class to tell her and that she can't come back to class as long as I am there. Now there are quite a few reasons that I in no way enjoyed that show, the top two of which are that gross, sweaty anuses/vagines do nothing for me and the second is that I like big ol' dicks. Regardless, in less than a week I have become the gym weirdo among a small set of women whose opinions i dont really care about. What I do care about is that, due to the club's policy, I am no longer welcome at the CrossFit classes at that gym. To add insult to injury, a female friend of mine told me that I should have either let it go or told a girl to tell her and that I am in fact the rear end in a top hat despite being well-intentioned. So am I?

Ok well first of all you're an rear end in a top hat because you write 'vagines' 'vajayjay' and 'bussy'

# ¿ Jan 14, 2020 07:21

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Power Khan posted:

My (27F) boyfriend (27M) is smaller than me. He introduced me to his family a few days ago and their reaction & comments devastated him

Sever from his family. This dudes living my dream and if my family talked poo poo about my huge amazonian woman I'd have her kick their asses.

# ¿ Jan 15, 2020 12:39

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Ungh you're so loving quick and reliable. show my those megabytes.

# ¿ Jan 15, 2020 16:27

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

This one has an interesting twist!
My girlfriend (F 29) who had been talking about future/children with me (M 27) went to Burning Man and came back a different person.

yes.

"understanding is possession"

I'm sorry to say she has worse brainworms than you do pal.

# ¿ Jan 17, 2020 15:57

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

"your consent is important to me, so please hand it over or that is violence."

# ¿ Jan 17, 2020 16:00

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Licarn posted:

AITA for giving my girlfriend a reality check about her diet?

'Stop bringing this up' is such a good buried lede. Am I an rear end in a top hat if I pester my attractive wife about a potential future in which she gains a ton of weight suddenly despite already being thirty like a loving wine mom??

# ¿ Jan 17, 2020 16:09

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

datajugend posted:

gonna find dried cum between the couch pillows for the next year

Nobody fucks at these things. Kinksters are invariably white fat nerds who never got invited to parties as teens so what usually happens is you have a bunch of awkward people talking about sex and polyamory or whatever but they're all well past the days where they can pound enough booze to overcome their crippling awkwardness and they usually sit around waiting for one of them to break that ice. It never happens.

# ¿ Jan 17, 2020 16:22

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Leon Einstein posted:

Thanks for the trip report.

I can never find anyone to gently caress my wife

# ¿ Jan 17, 2020 16:25

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

JumpinJackFlash posted:

A whole poop sock family

Meet the Poopsockers!

# ¿ Jan 17, 2020 17:32

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

IT HIT THE FLOOR, NEXT THING YOU KNOW

lovely's gonna blow blow blow blow blow blow blow

# ¿ Jan 17, 2020 17:50

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Sandwich Anarchist posted:

so much better goddamn

# ¿ Jan 17, 2020 17:53

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for being mean to the driver who was in a car wreck which ended up killing one of my friends?

You're not the rear end in a top hat enough.

# ¿ Jan 17, 2020 18:22

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Kenshin posted:

This one sounds kinda familiar for some reason, but seems like a followup...

Thats kidnapping, report him to the cops, His bank accounts should be Frozen that'll teach him to just Let it Go

# ¿ Jan 17, 2020 18:51

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Pope Corky the IX posted:

My ex-wife got fired from a really cushy job at Cablevision after we separated because she would get a medium black tea in a large cup from Starbucks and fill the rest with vodka.

who fuckin' narc'd??

# ¿ Jan 17, 2020 21:57

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

At first I was thinking 'why the gently caress would you drink the hand sanitizer just smuggle in booze' than I realized the absolute price of booze...

Thats a project I can get behind, moonshining to get alcohol to the needy worker for a fraction of the cost.

# ¿ Jan 17, 2020 22:01

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Pope Corky the IX posted:

I'm not sure how they found out, but she always believed she acted sober much better than she actually did. She would also get drunk and try to make sauteed mushrooms, but inevitably forget about them until a small fire and we'd have to get new pans every few months.

Huh, you'd think a long term alcoholic would eventually get better at it.

# ¿ Jan 17, 2020 22:05

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Mushmouth posted:

My fiance sucks at this so I catch him every time. Then again, I grew up with alcoholics in Wisconsin so I am usually one step ahead of him.
drat if it don't suck though to watch someone you love destroy their poo poo because ??reasons??. It is a process and I hope I'm not shooting myself in the foot by expecting improvement.

Sorry for the dump. This conversation just got me 'cause of finding tiny bottles in places. It's all the same places, though. His spycraft is terrible.

Metal beer, Tactical espionage action

# ¿ Jan 17, 2020 22:20

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

But you're a woman you should be stoked to be doing all this labor for us!!

# ¿ Jan 18, 2020 10:04

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

Tl;dr: before I met my partner I slept with one of my friends, who I'd want to be at my wedding. Should I tell my fianc�e?

No.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2020 06:02

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling one of my gf's best friends that what we do in bed isn't his business?

Get owned you loving mold in human guise

# ¿ Jan 19, 2020 08:29

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

MarcusSA posted:

What exactly is the point of this post?

weird bragging.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling my friend she's a "loving idiot" because she said she's stronger than a Silverback Gorilla?

My friend (23F) is quite into powerlifting. She's very strong for her size, and probably the average dude.

So mid way through convo with her, she says that she bets she is stronger than a Silverback Gorilla. I had to a double take. I asked her whether she was serious, and she said yes.

I work at a zoo and I've seen Male Silverback Gorillas.....so my natural unblurted reaction was "You're a loving idiot". She got offended and called me a prick, that its just what she believes.

Sometimes I wonder about her....she genuinely believes this nonsense. I just couldn't help but curse her out so maybe I was wrong. AITA?

The correct answer is 'Haha gently caress yeah' and than you hi-5 you loving dipshit imbecile, you moron.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2020 08:42

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Lucrece posted:

AITA for not forgiving my little sister for outing me six years ago?

I'm normally the first to say 'gently caress 'em' and indeed he has no obligation to accept it, but the timeframe and ages and all that indicate to me she is probably legit... plus this guys clearly displacing his parents abuse onto his sibling which is common and not good even if it was her fault for outing him at the outset. I dunno, he could probably stand to forgive though if he dosn't wanna... yaknow, gently caress 'em.

Motherfucker fucked around with this message at 09:34 on Jan 19, 2020

# ¿ Jan 19, 2020 09:28

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

My (23m) roommate (25m) of 2 months put surveillance cameras throughout the apartment, says it's for security but they're in my own room too?

Crush the cameras and say its for security than kick this fuckwit to the streets. What are you gonna steal on the toilet? gently caress this guy.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2020 09:43

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for "getting too upset" over a game?

Tthis is a massive red flag. This bitch is going to ruin any kids you have with her and shes sure as gently caress never going to respect what you do with your time. Judging by your lovely friends reactions she might be pretty hot though so you should definitely find a better girlfriend and ditch her later citing a different reason so you seem less lame lmao

# ¿ Jan 21, 2020 18:54

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Kill All Cops posted:

TIFU by getting my anus massaged

i pay top dollar for the greasy anus, what a steal!

Lucrece posted:

A twist on an old classic!

AITA for lying to my sister about there being gluten in a recipe, predicting how she would react?

loving lol.

# ¿ Jan 22, 2020 07:36

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Serephina posted:

Can we just strait up ban the TIFU stories? Absolutely every single one of them coincidentally happens to be a sexual mishap that lacks any shred of credibility. AITA is bad enough with their 80% submission rate being throwaway accounts (and hence, mostly creative writing), but TIFU doesn't even bother with the polite fiction.

Can't you just bleat out 'FAKE' like the normal worthless posters and be done with it?

# ¿ Jan 22, 2020 09:22

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling a friend they can watch something other than a PG movie?

Some religious family. This daughter is going to be obedient and civil till that veneer rots away to reveal how bugfuck insane she has become behind the veneer and she spends her fourties+ as that God Warrior lady

# ¿ Jan 25, 2020 20:46

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

You're eighteen you fuckin' sperm. Your passions and hobbies may as well be making GBS threads in diapers. At least garlic bread is funny and people will remember it. Or at least, they would if they didn't just throw your resume through a key-words seeking robot these days.

# ¿ Jan 26, 2020 10:36

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for using a Hitachi for it�s actual intended purpose in front of a guy?

nah they're nerds.

teen witch posted:

this is less ha ha and more �Jesus gently caress this is a terrible situation to be in�

Jesus christ, sign him over now and use the last breaths of your dying body to kill your loving family.

Motherfucker fucked around with this message at 12:19 on Jan 26, 2020

# ¿ Jan 26, 2020 12:17

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Cut your hair short than because hell is empty and all the devils are here.

# ¿ Jan 28, 2020 17:50

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

loving PNURTIS??

This kid would be loving obliterated at my school!!

# ¿ Jan 29, 2020 04:47

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

'it sounds hot' Oh yeah? Try and imagine anyone shouting 'pnurtis' during sex.

Its like 'gilbert', the mind loving rebels.

Does it rhyme with 'nerd-is' or 'pee-nerd-is'? I can't loving tell...

# ¿ Jan 29, 2020 04:50

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

Lucrece posted:

I (27f) didn't take my husband's (28m) name when we got married. His family refuses to accept me because of it.

this is just kinda sad and cruel.

Licarn posted:

Holy poo poo, change some minor details and I could�ve wrote this. I guess it�s good to know there�s other families out there with the same strain of insanity as mine.

what the gently caress, can you guess as to why because its completely baffling to me.

# ¿ Jan 30, 2020 01:54

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

realbez posted:

I think your spouse should be your best friend and if they aren�t, well... what�s the point?

securing your alliance with france, bro.

# ¿ Feb 2, 2020 04:55

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

it seems crazy to me to set the buy in to your lovely party at $200+ with extra steps. You care so much YOU buy ME the fuckin' dress. The whole point of the expensive wedding was to flex your mad wealth anyway so pony up.

# ¿ Feb 2, 2020 06:48

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 04:48

Motherfucker: Jul 16, 2011; I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.

You are the drat dog around here and you need to be put down.

# ¿ Feb 10, 2020 02:33

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

«‹›13 »