r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

pick has the forum�s worst case of richwhiteladyitis now that slashie/tb ate a perma. it�s funny to imagine her pounding on the glass doors of the thread though, The Graduate-style

# ¿ Jan 13, 2020 19:33

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 22:36

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

Imprisoned by (married) dick

# ¿ Jan 15, 2020 13:33

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

DaveWoo posted:

Sister [19f] drunkenly revealed some embarrassing info about me [21m] around friends.

The responses are mostly along the lines of "Dude, it's no big deal, learn to laugh at yourself."

that "overtime" line is incredibly creepy, assuming this wasn't typed one-handed (always a possibility in these cases) i think this dude should probably not live with his sister anymore.

# ¿ Feb 14, 2020 18:06

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

i am REAL curious about the context for this. is this stranger asking to gently caress the recipient's wife? And the wife is into it? Based on some kind of weird international relationship?

it was twitter superstar markusj, who decided 1) to carry on an affair with a married woman 2) to send that woman's husband that email, as thought it might help and 3) to tell the whole world he did it without shame.
eventually the wife in question left both men after meeting someone during an episode in the psych ward, which markusj paid for

# ¿ Mar 26, 2020 17:16

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA For CC'ing the CEO on emails for my coworkers who don't respond?

�I haven�t gotten a response from the CEO�
Yes you loving did, it was delivered by your supervisor

# ¿ Apr 24, 2020 02:49

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for pulling a prank on my wife by fake tattooing my son?

My son is 16, and he recently asked for a small tattoo on his wrist. My wife refused. I think that�s fair. He�s still a minor, and does have to follow some rules.

The thing is, he asked this about March 13. I just talked to him, and we planned to prank my wife. I ordered some custom temporary tattoos and I gave him a pretty large tattoo over his shoulder. And I just forgot about it. Until last week. My wife finally found about it, and she was furious at me.

Initially, she was mad that I actually gave him a tattoo. Then, she got mad because I got her good. I really don�t know who�s in the wrong. This was a pretty big prank.

So, AITA?

this is the first �I pranked my SO� post I�ve seen where 1) it�s actually a prank, not some kind of psychotic act of aggression and 2) the prankster is not an rear end in a top hat

# ¿ Apr 25, 2020 14:33

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

The Oven of Akhnai

To add, all the rabbis agree that the oven is not kosher, except for one guy who insists that it's fine. He ends up crying in frustration for a sign to prove him right; when he points at a tree, the tree uproots itself and runs up a hill, when he points at a river, the river flows backwards, when he points at a building, it starts falling apart. The other rabbis are unimpressed, saying stuff like "a tree is not a scholar, nobody has ever cited a river, these bricks are being real pricks for interfering with a debate." Finally, he cries out to the heavens, and a booming voice responds "why are you still discussing this? Brother Eliezer is clearly in the right."

The other rabbis respond that their scripture specifically says "The Torah is not in heaven," so heaven needs to just sit down, shut up and let mankind handle their business. Eventually it was agreed that the law should be based on the majority opinion of the rabbis, as they could not reach a unanimous consensus, to which God responded happily that his children were doing just fine.

the joke I always heard growing up is about four rabbis arguing a point of doctrine. rabbi eleazar simply will not agree to anything the other three say and is growing more and more stubborn. finally he throws his hands up and says �if I am right may heaven prove it at once!� The clouds part and a voice booms out from above, �HE�S RIGHT.�

one of the other rabbis crosses his arms and says �fine, now it�s three to two.�

# ¿ May 31, 2020 14:38

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

cumshitter posted:

I'll never forgot when I took my son to see All Dogs Go to Heaven 2 (because I was a very young father then and an even younger father now).

im casting for a movie, how young can you play

# ¿ Jun 4, 2020 13:23

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

cumshitter posted:

I've been told by Hollywood casting directors that I look so young I could play the empty space waiting to be filled by my own existence. So I'd say I could play as young as negative ten with a talented makeup person.

Ok, that�s great, we�ll call you.
[as you leave the meeting you see a beautiful twink who looks 25 but could play as young as the hyperdense Planck epoch universe]

# ¿ Jun 4, 2020 18:59

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

�Autistic� friends sounds more like she has HPD
could be both

# ¿ Jul 16, 2020 20:54

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

I think about three years ago use of �cuck� would be a real alt-right shibboleth but it�s totally mainstream now. My hispanic immigrant wife uses it. It just means �lame-o� now.

# ¿ Jul 23, 2020 17:15

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

MarcusSA posted:

Oh man this is not a good update.

Not good at all.

either
1) she has been acting this way the entire duration of their relationship, in which case... what the gently caress? why would you have kids with this obviously crazy person? or
2) this is new, in which case she is clearly experiencing some kind of mental health episode, possibly related to childbirth, and you need to get her help now

# ¿ Sep 15, 2020 17:28

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

i vomit kittens posted:

Man from Texas with an amputee fetish impersonated a Dr and had me in a cast for almost a year. I believe his intent was to permanently disable me.

# ¿ Oct 16, 2020 03:29

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

LadyPictureShow posted:

I (31M) made a grand gesture to save my future with the only woman I've ever loved (35F) and could not have gotten back more mixed signals.

# ¿ Mar 14, 2021 18:33

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

Soylent Pudding posted:

"Stambovsky v. Ackley, 169 A.D.2d 254 (N.Y. App. Div. 1991), commonly known as the Ghostbusters ruling, is a case in the New York Supreme Court, Appellate Division, that held that a house, which the owner had previously advertised to the public as haunted by ghosts, legally was haunted for the purpose of an action for rescission brought by a subsequent purchaser of the house."

You owe yourself a read because of all the ghost puns: https://casetext.com/case/stambovsky-v-ackley

every property class teaches this case despite the admittedly limited applicability of its rule because it�s so much fun

# ¿ Mar 18, 2021 13:55

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

This would get owned on a 12b6 immediately. No duty, no breach, no claim.

# ¿ Mar 30, 2021 16:19

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

the twilight zone episode "and when the sky was opened" but it's about the Wiggles

# ¿ Apr 22, 2021 23:51

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

pentyne posted:

Real big "pay me for my sandwich recipe" energy from the ex.

god, i miss that story

# ¿ May 5, 2021 01:25

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

cumshitter posted:

I personally wouldn't care either way if I walked into the living room or another shared space and saw my roommate doing tax consulting over Zoom vs. them and their boyfriend trying to figure out what lighting set up really shows off their rear end in a top hat in the anal shot they're planning. Just two professionals practicing their craft.

what if they were shooting straight porn though

# ¿ May 7, 2021 20:50

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

My cats claws just naturally pop out and regrow and I assume that�s normal

# ¿ May 8, 2021 05:59

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

artsy fartsy posted:

This one has an interesting bit of human behavior in it

AITA for calling my dad out on his "traditional views" and treating me like a girl ?

�I wish my old fashioned redneck-rear end dad would accept me as gay.�
*monkey�s paw finger curls*

# ¿ May 10, 2021 03:50

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

i'm assuming based on clockwife's paranoia that she didn't just blindly believe her husband and he actually showed her some evidence indicating that he was in fact woodworking before she accepted this explanation. but lmao if he really was having an affair and now has to commit to a full time woodworking hobby to cover his tracks.

# ¿ May 21, 2021 14:59

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

when you play the stupidest possible game you will win the stupidest possible prize

# ¿ Jun 1, 2021 19:35

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

Invisible Clergy posted:

OP knows she's playing with him, but that's ok cause he's got no self-esteem. And he wonders why she sleeps with his friends.

I know he should stick up for himself

# ¿ Jun 11, 2021 20:48

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

Where�s the story about the woman who wrote up elaborate revenge fantasies about everyone who ever made her feel insecure in her marriage and put them in journals?

# ¿ Jun 14, 2021 03:34

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

haveblue posted:

How do you know the door is locked

If you're constantly trying the knob then of course he's gonna lock the door

Probably you hear the lock click. My wife always locks the bathroom door in our apartment where only we live despite the fact that I have never barged in on her and never would, but also I don�t care because I�m not a gigantic baby. Let your partner lock the door while they poo poo.

# ¿ Jun 28, 2021 06:39

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

kntfkr posted:

No, I remember it. And the raceplay porn accounts. And the twin flame stuff. And the meth gifs. I remember this kind of language and I am glad that tumblr had the decency to take it self out behind the woodshed but it ws all dark internet fantasy poo poo for kids. And it's been dead for a few years. You'd figure that when your life gets as real as being married, abused, pregnant and nearing 30 years old that some part of your brain would say "we can't indulge this bullshit anymore."

No, when you�re married, abused, pregnant and nearing 30 your brain tells you �this bullshit all has to be true because otherwise I wasted the best years of my life for no reason with this rear end in a top hat.� You double the gently caress down. That�s unfortunately way more common.

# ¿ Jul 9, 2021 15:34

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

Only a very specific subset of people believe something being technically illegal means that picking a fight over it with someone who commands vastly more money and free time will end well for them

This is true, but it�s highly unlikely that this boss is in the category of people with de facto legal impunity because he�s having to solicit his employees for his brother�s liver instead of just flying him out to Belize or whatever. There�s (maybe, theoretically) a way to pull this scheme with enough plausible deniability to get away with it, but it�s not the way this guy did it. And he definitely doesn�t have a lawyer advising him, or we wouldn�t have gotten� this story.

I wish I knew how it ended. My guess is the boring way, with OP lawyering up and boss consulting his own lawyer and deciding to settle about .0002 seconds later.

# ¿ Jul 12, 2021 15:42

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

Sagebrush posted:

One of the commenters points out that based on the places the dad has been going to get ape and chimpanzee meat, it's likely he would have encountered people who could hook him up with human meat from the ongoing atrocities in those regions, and dad doesn't seem like the type to say no

That is psycho poo poo, to believe that. I love game meats and exotic meats, I�ve had bear and alligator and iguana and all that fun stuff, and I never even remotely considered eating a human. There�s a gigantic gap between even the most bizarre exotic meat, like chimp, and human.

# ¿ Jul 15, 2021 18:07

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA For wanting to keep my bees even though my new neighbor's son is highly allergic to them?

THE BEEEEEEES.

This person should absolutely be investing in solid fencing around their hives, too tall to climb, no gaps, because attractive nuisance doctrine is going to kick their teeth down their throat if that kid ever wanders over to look at the funny little houses

# ¿ Jul 19, 2021 04:20

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

If a dog shat in his pants would he poo poo in them like this or like this

# ¿ Jul 19, 2021 12:30

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

With what we�re doing to the ocean it�s safer on the inside

# ¿ Jul 24, 2021 04:08

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

Evil Willow posted:

What is fair?

holy poo poo this guy is gonna get ranched in court

# ¿ Aug 1, 2021 04:28

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

Prenups will generally be honored with the huge caveat that the court will look closely at whether they were both procedurally and substantively fair, and this one is neither

# ¿ Aug 1, 2021 05:07

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

cumshitter posted:

When my wife and I met with the wedding DJ she rejected all of my mother's suggestions, even after I told her how important family is to me, and told the wedding DJ that he should only play "The Boys Are Back In Town" on repeat. How do I stop this from getting out of control?

"Are you loving going to request 'The Boys Are Back in Town' again?" asked the bride when I reached the DJ.

"I absolutely, 100 percent, am not going to play 'The Boys Are Back In Town' again," I promised, punching the buttons to select "The Boys Are Back in Town," which I had memorized.

# ¿ Aug 5, 2021 03:05

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

cumshitter posted:

If it exists it must be destroyed.

Drop it in the fires of Homodruin

# ¿ Aug 18, 2021 18:12

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

Splicer posted:

I don't know, I'm pretty sure opening with "I was coached through applying to your college by the woman who hosed my parents apart" might catch a few eyes.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: vile gifs and memes

OP is a man. And the affair came to light when the son walked in on them.

# ¿ Aug 21, 2021 14:06

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

SMEGMA_MAIL posted:

Yeah I agree since it started on which specific elements of the story where off but it opened up the floodgates for ~faaaaake~ again and the pendulum needs to swing back

I mean yes, it is annoying when people just pick apart every post looking for inconsistencies, but that one post was so incredibly obviously fake (and really, its fakeness was the only interesting thing about it) that I think it�s worth allowing discussion of.

# ¿ Sep 8, 2021 03:53

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

kimbo305 posted:

This is wild, but I�m fairly confident there�ll be an update:
https://imgur.com/gallery/sXsKZnV
Bit of a mixup as it�s mostly visual.

A title might be:
my mother might actually be my kidnapper?

holy poo poo I want to know the truth so badly

# ¿ Sep 15, 2021 04:21

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 22:36

DAD LOST MY IPOD: Feb 3, 2012; Fats Dominar is on the case

Tetramin posted:

He called me randomly like 6 months later asking if I wanted to buy everything he had remaining which I declined. I hope that wasn�t the beginning of a lovely road for him.

good news; it probably wasn�t!

# ¿ Sep 19, 2021 20:38

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

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