r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Rosalind posted:

Textbook "gently caress you got mine" in action. She's been in the SIL's shoes and now she can't imagine how being told "Sorry but you and your four year old can't stay in the extra bedroom we have because I'm going to eventually turn it into a crafts room sometime in the future--here's the sofa!" is upsetting.

It�s especially awful because she even says she only has shelves and wall racks and a table. It�s not like you�ve got a room filled with stuff you can�t clean out and heavy furniture with nowhere to go, it�s practically an empty rom that you just have �plans� for.

# ¿ Jan 15, 2020 22:33

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 14:04

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

cumshitter posted:

Does the OP say whether or not there's an open bar? I think that really makes or breaks the $50 entry fee.

Nah, $50 is still too much to pay for some mass produced beer or bottom-shelf wine/booze. Might as well just sneak in a flask of $25-30 stuff and save yourself some money.

QuarkJets posted:

That's a good way to get people to not go to your wedding

I know we won�t get this update, but I�d love to know how this scheme works in practice for regular non-family guests. I�m trying to imagine being a guest at the wedding here and I just can�t imagine any scenario that doesn�t go like this:
1.) Complete confusion about the fee, saying that no, I�m good, I usually buy a gift off the registry
2.) Burst into laughter because haha, good joke
3.) Eventually roll my eyes and just walk away. From here, either get irritated and walk out or just go with a vague �fine whatever, I�ll uh, do that later� and mentally plan on ending our friendship the instant I finish enjoying your free booze.

# ¿ Jan 17, 2020 12:38

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Rosalind posted:

In today's edition of problems with an easy and obvious solution but the OP wants to do something profoundly stupid instead:

WIBTA for removing cards from the UNO deck?
I just love the idea of this guy deciding that the ONLY solution to his son's cheating is to remove all the cards from Uno that make it Uno and have his kids playing a sad, boring number/color matching game with the idea of just shuffling the loving deck before playing never coming to mind.

Edit: Just noticed that the OP even has the rules for winning Uno wrong. lol

The really weird part is that it�s not like the OP had never heard of shuffling cards - he actually says he reshuffled the deck previously...but somehow he couldn�t quite get to �hey, shuffling works, maybe I can just shuffle the cards *every* time!�

# ¿ Jan 18, 2020 20:04

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

MarcusSA posted:

Yeah the first rule you said is right. If you fail to call uno before someone else does you have to draw cards but yeah you have one turn before you go out and win.

Yeah, you have to empty your hand - but once you announce Uno, everyone else knows to gun for you with skips or draw cards or etc if possible.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2020 21:01

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Peaceful Anarchy posted:

Reading between the lines the solution seems to be to befriend a scientist who does that stuff and donate it to them so they can test their rotting flesh eating beetles and skull preservation techniques and then return the skull after they've completed their science.

The other solution implied by the article would be to buy a skull online (which IS legal) and then just lie like crazy if anybody ever asks. Yep, the skull on the mantle was totally your beloved dad, definitely.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2020 21:32

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

teen witch posted:

Her side of the family is dealing with the legal stuff but i got few calls from her parents, sister and friends asking how I could let this happen. Her mom told me that I could have done something since my dad is the store manager and that he could have easily let it slide this one time.

If it's a big corporate store, her dad almost certainly didn't have any option to "let it slide". This isn't 1970 when you could get away with lovely accounting and claim the paperwork was wrong, inventory is all electronic now...and $700 worth of stuff is enough that it'd certainly raise some flags if it all went missing.

Also, lol at "this one time". I find it hard to believe she went from being a perfect angel to suddenly stealing $700 of property.

cumshitter posted:

In the comments arrested Target fiance says he's in his early 50's and his manager dad is in his late 70's.

Sandwich Anarchist posted:

poo poo lol. How old is the fiance? Gonna guess under 30

That's in the original post, fiance is 29F...and they've been together for three years, so yep.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2020 14:15

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Sandwich Anarchist posted:

Wait until they are at the wedding and then take them aside and kick them out

Uh, why? The co-workers didn't have anything to do with the layoffs and branch downsizing. As written, it's not even clear that the boss did either - as presented, the orders came from the director and probably even further up the chain at corporate.

If you're really that emotionally distraught about getting laid off that your former department-mates are an unwelcome reminder of things, then fine, don't invite them...but let's not pretend like it's their fault you got laid off.

Boiled Water posted:

Company will never have loyalty towards you, so don't have any in return.

I'd bet that if OP updates later, there'll be oh by the way, my new job pays me significantly more than my old job; those fuckers abused my loyalty to wildly underpay me.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2020 16:27

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Lucrece posted:

AITA My sister gifted us 11 photos of her family, my Mom helped to unpack & set them all on display, I took them down.
Would I be the rear end in a top hat if I removed all but 1 or 2 of the photos my sister gifted my husband & I at Christmas?

The only rear end in a top hat here is your sister for thinking that photos of her family count as Christmas gifts.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2020 00:59

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Bored posted:

Pretty sure an addendum after the signing of a lease is not legally enforceable.

If it�s signed by both parties, why not? Changing the terms of a contract is typically fine as long as both parties agree to the changes, not sure why it�d be different for leases.

I mean, if it was just an informal verbal agreement, then no, it wouldn�t be enforceable...but I would assume a 55-year old �lawyer� would know to get the i�s dotted and t�s crossed with paperwork.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2020 19:20

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Licarn posted:

Me [22M] with my girlfriend [22F] of 5 years, humiliated, violated, and embarrassed by housing community security guard [50M]. Have I failed as a partner?

Yes, you�re a failure as a partner and human being...but for the exact opposite reason than you�re thinking.

# ¿ Jan 20, 2020 20:12

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Ignis posted:

AITA? My parents forced us to be homeschooled, is it bad that we joke about it?
We had all previously gone to private school but our parents decided it was too expensive to put all of us through private high school so one year they took us all out of school. (...) Public school wasn�t an option because they felt we would all get into drugs and the girls in our family would end up pregnant.

I assume these parents have never actually attended a private school because seriously, the poo poo that went on in the local private high school made my public school seem like a monastery.

The big difference is simply that private school kids could use daddy�s money to get out of trouble whereas public school gently caress ups actually faced consequences.

# ¿ Jan 21, 2020 16:22

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Tijuana-A-Go-Go posted:

Fellas is it gay to sleep in the same bed as your girlfriend?

Yes, and doubly so if either of you washes your rear end in the shower.

# ¿ Jan 21, 2020 20:39

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Play posted:

Yes, the cat was dressed as Kylo Ren with a huge First Order symbol in the background. I don't want visitors thinking I'm some kind of space nazi fanboy, which would be the obvious conclusion upon seeing the painting

...Seriously? Kylo Ren is a really well known character and the First Order symbol is blatantly Star Wars. Also, FWIW, the most recent movie is pretty clear that Kylo Ren is not actually a bad guy and redeems himself.

Do you also walk into someone's house, see a Game of Thrones poster and assume huh, that couple must be into incest?

# ¿ Jan 22, 2020 00:37

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

Over the past two weeks Chris has conviced my husband that he ought to quit his job and use all of our savings to start this restaurant,

The real magic trick right here, Chris will take your life savings and then vanish into thin air.

# ¿ Jan 22, 2020 04:01

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

purple death ray posted:

This is what a baby shower already is, though?

Yes, but this way you can force people to give you free poo poo twice - gender reveal AND baby shower.

# ¿ Jan 22, 2020 23:24

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

JacquelineDempsey posted:

What the living gently caress. When does one give said present? I have never had children (and that ship has sailed, so not going to), but from what I know, there is no way my mind would be on "oh, cool, thanks, shiny thing" when about to feel like I'm making GBS threads a bowling ball from my nether regions.

It's not a super common thing, but I have heard of husbands giving the present to their wives as a "thanks for having my kid" kind of thing. You give the present shortly before the due date, but it's just a small thing between the two of you; not a whole family/friend group thing (...yet...).

It sounded absurd to me too when someone told me about it.

QuarkJets posted:

I probably wouldn't accept a present that my mother told me had come out of her vagina

Older sibling gifts are usually given for siblings who are like 6 years old or whatever, too young to know anything about where babies come from except whatever bullshit stork/prayer/mailbox/etc story your parents tell you. The purpose is just so that the older kid doesn't get jealous and resentful when nobody gives a poo poo about you any more and all the attention is on the baby.

MagusofStars fucked around with this message at 01:04 on Jan 23, 2020

# ¿ Jan 23, 2020 01:01

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Lil Peeler posted:

This can't be true because goons never get messages

�If you contact me again, I�m getting a restraining order, you creepy bastard� *does* count as a message.

# ¿ Jan 24, 2020 05:57

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for making a boob joke that unfortunately didn�t sit well with the crowd?
Mindy said she didn�t feel comfortable working with me anymore. I told her to stop being a drama queen and I apologized for making the dumb joke around girls. (...) I told Mindy to stop making it awkward for me. She said I made it awkward for everyone.

Nothing like loving up, then repeatedly doubling down on "no, see, I'm the real victim here".

I mean, this guy certainly doesn't have the social awareness to salvage the situation in any case, but blaming Mindy over and over again is pretty much the dumbest possible move here.

# ¿ Jan 24, 2020 15:50

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for not following the standard double drive-thru etiquette?

chitoryu12 posted:

I'm confused by how this went down. Did he order and then just sit for 5 minutes waiting for a non-existent car in the other line to appear just so he could follow his own code of conduct? Or was the single merged line not moving and the guy in the truck wouldn't even tell if it was "his turn" by the time there was an opening?

I was also confused, but the first part was basically my interpretation as well:
1.) OP places his order, but Lane 2 is currently empty, so he literally just sits there since he can't "alternate" for the merge.
2.) Two cars behind him, a truck is like "what is this dumbass doing? how come he's just sitting here?" and decides to jump to the open Lane 2 rather than continuing to sit there for no reason.
3.) After the truck finishes ordering, OP realizes wait, that was the same truck that was previously behind me and cuts him off because after all, I've been waiting and there's no reason this guy should go since he should still be two cars behind me waiting endlessly for "alternating turns" just like I am.

...But I might be a little off because it's not very well written and the guy seems to be wildly overthinking "how to merge on a roadway".

MagusofStars fucked around with this message at 22:56 on Jan 24, 2020

# ¿ Jan 24, 2020 22:53

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Whorelord posted:

Incredible troll on r/Ireland today

Mixed Race couple in dublin.
I am 47.3% white, with the remainder of my racial make-up a shake up of Polynesian, Arabic and East Asian.

This sentence is complete bullshit, but still probably more accurate than genealogy/ancestry services.

# ¿ Jan 25, 2020 15:08

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

My [30F] husband [34M] and my family are having a huge argument about fire alarms

The solution here is to tell your family to go to hell and follow my house my rules. Leaving candles unattended is dangerous, you don�t have the right to turn off someone else�s fire alarms if it�s not your house, and smoking indoors in someone else�s house is rude as poo poo.

Husband�s phobia may be a little over the top, but your family is loving awful.

MagusofStars fucked around with this message at 12:00 on Jan 26, 2020

# ¿ Jan 26, 2020 11:57

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Licarn posted:

AITA because I don't believe I should have to clean the whole kitchen when I do dishes?
I think it matters more that I constantly feel like poo poo because these expectations are ridiculous

I like the twist here - he's gone beyond the usual "living in poo poo because you won't do basic cleaning tasks" to "feeling like poo poo because someone asks you to do basic cleaning tasks".

Blue Moonlight posted:

Come prepared. Have the nonprofit’s number on speed dial, and when they start acting like children, call it on speakerphone - when you get some random secretary, explain that two of their managers are running around, throwing things, and causing a scene at your interview, and that you’d like to speak to someone at the nonprofit about it.

Situation managed!

Sadly, (1) the receptionist almost certainly *already* knows these dudes have a screw loose, (2) the other senior management would almost certainly nod and spout some bullshit about the mission, and (3) these guys clearly have no capability to feel shame or embarrassment anyways.

EDIT: That said, I do like the idea of loudly emphasizing to the entire restaurant that "I thought you guys were managers of the non-profit ______". Maybe arrange for a friend to covertly show up and Tweet out video of them acting like idiots in public while representing nonprofit ______.

MagusofStars fucked around with this message at 01:37 on Jan 28, 2020

# ¿ Jan 28, 2020 01:35

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

luxury handset posted:

wife cooks a nicer adult meal for both of them. husband's gripe is that she doesn't go out of her way to cook him something he likes. if he wants something specific he can make it himself, he's a grown man and it is inexcusable these days for men to pretend ignorance in the kitchen so that they can have meals prepared for them.

Hell, my parents took this attitude when I was a kid - Mom is cooking one dinner and one dinner only for the family tonight, if you�re too picky to eat it, that�s your own choice, nobody�s forcing you to eat it...but it�s then on you to figure out an alternative dinner - make a sandwich, heat up leftovers, microwave some soup or stouffer�s, whatever; but it won�t be Mom making a second dinner.

TheDeadlyShoe posted:

It's pretty silly for a couple to make two meals instead of one meal they compromise on - both from a practical stand point and an emotional one.

Compromise would require him to be an adult and sometimes deal with such exotic meals as �pasta� and �salad� or �fried fish�.

# ¿ Jan 28, 2020 16:47

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

InediblePenguin posted:

somebody using a name other than the one written first on their birth certificate isn't actually a "bamboozle"

This is, in fact, the likely end point if the kid actually got named Pnurtis - he�ll get sick of trying to explain the pronunciation every single time and instead uses his middle name or going by PJ or whatever.

# ¿ Jan 29, 2020 15:16

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Lucrece posted:

Today I learned a thing. Thanks!

As an addendum, depending on the country, even 3 months might not be enough - the airlines set 3 months as their standard, but some individual countries don�t allow entry visas if you have less than six months left on the passport.

Also, there are expedited passport services that can turn your passport around in weeks or even days...but you pay out the rear end for it, as you might imagine.

# ¿ Jan 30, 2020 03:33

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Dravs posted:

A 3 year relationship where the couple gets engaged does not count as 'briefly dating'

Especially since the OP has gotten pregnant with the guy after six months. If a three-year relationship is �briefly dating�, that makes OP and Josh what? A minor fling? Just a ~~one-night~~ many-night stand?

# ¿ Jan 30, 2020 12:25

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

dudeness posted:

She was smiling that she was quitting and never has to see you again.

How can you doubt his tale of true love? Did you not read the part where she swept the floor near him? That�s the most direct and straightforward �I want you� signal possible!

# ¿ Jan 30, 2020 22:08

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for making my ex-girlfriend and her 8 years old daughter homeless?

DemoneeHo posted:

I must be missing something. Does grandma sleep naked? And why can't he just tell his parents that he's checking to see if grandma is breathing?

And why did he let his ex move in with him after only dating for a week?

What you're missing is that he probably IS pretty creepy and needs help, just like his ex suggested.

That said, in terms of AITA, he is 100% NTA for kicking them out of the house he owns and pays for - it's incredible that she apparently thought he'd just move out of his own house and let her stay there.

# ¿ Feb 1, 2020 20:23

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

I'm always amazed by these stories of having a reliable babysitter friend/relative who is cool with doing it for free or a trivial cost...then deciding to go so far over-the-top ridiculous that you end up losing said babysitter. I don't know what the going rate is for watching 4 young kids including one with special needs, but I can't imagine it wouldn't be *at least* $20 an hour, probably more.

# ¿ Feb 2, 2020 15:14

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Literal Nazi Furry posted:

calling cps here would just be a great way for OP to turn her house into a different kind of blatantly miserable place to stay if not outright getting her kicked out of the house. family members don't like it when you take actions seen as trying to take their kids away, nor do grandparents like it when you try to take their grandparents away. it's not that i think her reasons are valid or that she isn't being an unbelievable total rear end in a top hat to the sister, but what is cps going to do? genuinely curious in this circumstance because im not sure what they would do but also this sort of territory is broadly defined

This is a valid point given that OP is presumably living at home for financial reasons so completely torching that bridge might not be a smart move (yet).

Maybe the good first step here is to not just "lie about her schedule" but *actually* modify her schedule so she's practically never at home. Buy some headphones and a lunchbox, start packing your lunch, sprint out of the house as early as possible every morning, then come home as late as possible every night - even to the extent of things like "well, normally I'd go home and watch Netflix in the evenings but now I do that at the computer lab", "all my studying happens at the library rather than my room", sign up for some clubs or something, etc. And if there's a close friend or two who doesn't mind if you crash on their couch, maybe consider randomly doing that too just to further emphasize that nope, can't just assume Jenny will be home to be your sitter.

# ¿ Feb 2, 2020 15:55

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

LethalGeek posted:

How passive are you?

Yes let's make my life even more convoluted and prevent myself from having any personal time because I can't tell my family No. The gently caress.

The dad who texted her while she was in the bathroom to say �yo, the kids are asleep in your room, your problem now� and the sister who gave zero fucks about leaving them there even when OP had an exam...not really people who are going to listen when she says no. Instead, they�ll just ignore her no matter what she says and continue to dump the kids on her.

And the idea of just call the police or CPS only works if she plans on moving out ASAP. If she�s living at home in college and working a job (per her post), it�s very likely because she can�t afford to do otherwise. So getting kicked out of the house for calling the cops or CPS on her sister isn�t a viable option.

If she was in a place where she could afford to tell them gently caress off and if you don�t like it, see ya...then hell yeah, take that option. But as she�s described her situation, I�m really doubting that�s the case.

# ¿ Feb 2, 2020 22:04

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Smirking_Serpent posted:

My [38f] Husband [42m] was extremely rude to a former student [late 20's] and a casual friend of mine. Im mortified about it and not sure the best way to fix things.

Given that the dual major is in history and education, I�d love to know what mythical future career the husband thinks a PhD would unlock. Like, yes, if you go into academia and make tenure at a university, it�d be solid then...but given the age involved, Charlie would almost certainly just have gotten his doctorate, be an adjunct professor, and making *less* at this instant than he does as a salaried high school teacher.

# ¿ Feb 3, 2020 12:25

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

RoboRodent posted:

This just in, doing math is cheating. Amazing.

There�s a 100% chance that these people are just pissed that they didn�t think of doing that first.

Unless they really believe that doing any math or calculations isn�t in the �gambling spirit�, in which case there�s definitely a nearby casino owner who would love to meet them.

# ¿ Feb 4, 2020 19:07

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

HMS Beagle posted:

My [48M] daughter [13F] is angry at me for performing a rap at her bat mitzvah. is there anything I could do to resolve it?

The real mistake here was not being super lame for her entire childhood. You gotta start emitting that Dad Energy when your kids are young, so by the time they hit middle school, your uncoolness only gets a facepalm, not an angry storm-off.

# ¿ Feb 5, 2020 00:43

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for not letting the lady late for her trip get her Subway order before me?

NTA. gently caress that woman for putting the minimum wage food employee in that position. If she really needed to jump the line, ask the person who�s in front of you rather than forcing the employee to adjudicate.

# ¿ Feb 5, 2020 03:32

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Hobo Clown posted:

And then the cousin responded today:

WIBTA if I refused to attend my cousins wedding after she asked me to dye my ginger hair?

And I doubt she will see it as they are currently on their pre wedding honeymoon, legit didn't even know those were a thing. (...) Things have been awkward from the start with Amy demanding that everyone has to stick to this dress code or they will be barred by security at the drat door.

To be honest, I did not know EITHER of these were �a thing�. Pre-wedding honeymoons are something I�ve never heard existed and the idea of barring people for wearing the wrong colors seems like something from a middle school VHS trying to scare kids about gang warfare.

I can�t help but laugh at the idea of a bunch of guests showing up in bright blue, green, and purple suits though. A dude walking in wearing a 1980�s era fuzzy purple suit seems waaaaay more distracting than a bridesmaid with red hair, but whatever.

# ¿ Feb 5, 2020 22:23

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Lucrece posted:

I think the original was posted in the last thread. This is a good brother.

UPDATE: I(24M) adopted my little sister(8F) after our parents passed away, GF(23F) isn't so excited about it
Sorry for no happy ending, I guess this is how real life is.

An orphaned kid has someone in her life who cares for her and raises her no matter what AND the ~~evil stepmother~~ rear end in a top hat gf is gone. That's a storybook ending straight out of a drat Disney film.

# ¿ Feb 6, 2020 01:10

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Smirking_Serpent posted:

Boss is requiring employees to delete LinkedIn account

Boss is forcing all employees to permanently delete their LinkedIn accounts. He�s threatening to terminate anyone who does not comply with this new policy. He�s adding it to the company handbook and to new hire offer letters. He�s offering a monetary bonus to anyone that voluntarily shows proof of account deletion.
He says he feels that employees that have these accounts are cheating on him. He recently lost an employee and blames LinkedIn.

What legal protections do employees that do not comply have? If terminated based on refusal, is there any legal recourse the employee can take?

This is in the US in a Right to Work state.

Huh. Overbearing boss who thinks he controls employees� lives outside of work, threatens people�s jobs on a whim, and calls it �cheating on him� like you�re a spouse rather than a professional associate. Why are employees leaving me???

:iiam:

No wait, I got it, it�s LinkedIn. Yeah, definitely the fault of the website, surely nobody will leave once they delete those accounts.

# ¿ Feb 9, 2020 02:54

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

cumshitter posted:

And yes, when my fingers finally reach the outermost grooves of my sphincter it ends with "Please like and subscribe."

Your sphincter doesn�t ask for reviews on iTunes, Spotify, or the bathroom wall in a local business? Pretty standard to beg for reviews right after suggesting like/subscribe.

# ¿ Feb 9, 2020 05:46

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 14:04

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Dazerbeams posted:

He�s legally obligated to hand over access to their systems, but shouldn�t he have a right to compensation for time given for that task? If it�s as involved as he claims it is.

If he�s in the US, I don�t actually know if he is, if it requires time/effort on his part. You could make a reasonable argument that according to the at-will doctrine he�s under no obligation to return and perform work for them if he doesn�t want to. Especially since he�s just going no-contact - it�d be entirely legal for him to take a weeklong camping trip without his phone or to just straight up block their calls/emails...and that�s effectively what�s going on.

That said, the post seems like an exaggerated revenge fantasy (I�m so important! They don�t know it but they�ll be totally hosed without me! They�ll regret it come Monday!) because either IT or the software manufacturer should be able to modify the access fairly easily. Sure, they�d prefer if he comes and does it because it�d be more efficient...but if he had gotten hit by a bus or just stopped showing up without warning, they would have muddled through and figured something out; they�ll figure it out here too.

# ¿ Feb 9, 2020 06:33

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

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