HOT BREAD! posted:

At first this is what I thought the bridezilla was wanting. God, a peacock theme sounds so trashy and ugly

MagusofStars posted:

I was also confused, but the first part was basically my interpretation as well:
1.) OP places his order, but Lane 2 is currently empty, so he literally just sits there since he can't "alternate" for the merge.
2.) Two cars behind him, a truck is like "what is this dumbass doing? how come he's just sitting here?" and decides to jump to the open Lane 2 rather than continuing to sit there for no reason.
3.) After the truck finishes ordering, OP realizes wait, that was the same truck that was previously behind me and cuts him off because after all, I've been waiting and there's no reason this guy should go since he should still be two cars behind me waiting endlessly for "alternating turns" just like I am.

...But I might be a little off because it's not very well written and the guy seems to be wildly overthinking "how to merge on a roadway".

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for making my gf feel bad about her sexual past?

dick wizard posted:

Maybe I'm dumb but where is it indicated that this wasn't consensual?

thatguy posted:

that lede was so deep it was buried with the girl

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling my mom that her friend and her friends son knew the odds and I honestly don’t care how it turned out for him or how it affects his life ?

So there’s a bit of context.

I was asked to participate in a experimental drug study along with a number of other volunteers.

My mom is friends with another volunteers mom and they text and call each other constantly.

When we signed up for the study there were a few conditions. This drug is going to generate millions (if not more) in less then the next decade (barring surprise issues) and we don’t get a penny but do instead get the medication worth hundreds of thousands of dollars for “free”. Another point was that there is a 50/50 chance of getting the drug/medication and getting a placebo (basically salt water).

For privacy I won’t name the medical condition or drug however the condition does severely limit your physical activity and exercise (anything physically demanding or exerting) to the point where you can’t even participate in PhysEd class. This condition DOES NOT “ruin” your life, it prohibits you from doing things like bing drinking, excessive eating. It also disqualifies you from careers with the military and law enforcement.

The 50/50 was computer generated. Some how I got the drug. I’ve always wanted to be a military doctor and that hadn’t been possible before.

Well today the doctors confirmed that the drug worked and it’s now possible for me to be a doctor and join the military (I’ve already applied now) and obviously I’m ecstatic as I can now run, workout and exercise again.

My moms friends son didn’t get the drug. Well my mom is not letting me hear the end of how bad it is that I go the life changing drug and her friends kid didn’t.

I’ve had a 18 hour day to make that appointment today so my patience was running thin and I just snapped. I asked why TF she cares so much more about her friends kid instead of me, we all knew the odds and agreed to it. She’s not even happy for me that I now have a chance at the future I want.

I’m probably the rear end in a top hat but I told her that we knew that there was a 50% chance that this would change outlives for the better and 50% that it was a waste of time and that it is what it now is.

I got it and it changed my life and he didn’t, end of story for me, there’s nothing I or anyone else can do to change what happened.

I also said at this point I honestly don’t care, yes it sucks that he got the placebo but we all knew the odds and we were all there for the same reason, to get a potentially life changing drug (soon worth hundreds of thousands of dollars) for “free”.

My mom thinks I’m the rear end in a top hat but I’m saying we knew the odds and while it sucks, there’s literally nothing anyone can do about it and that’s already in the past and not worth my time feeling sorry about.

AITA ?

EDIT : as people mentioned, the way I dealt with the situation made me the rear end in a top hat. The fact that I can’t help the other kid doesn’t make me an rear end in a top hat because the odds were computer generated.

Also, to the people saying I’m not empathetic or calm enough in stressful situations to be a military doctor, I lose my cool occasionally and I’m still trying to change who I was to who I want to be. I used to be lazy and a general rear end in a top hat about life (partially due to side effects but also because I just didn’t care) but I’m trying here guys, I’m really trying and it’s a journey and I’m not perfect by long shot.

EDIT2: due to the fact that the drug is NOT being developed by a big pharmaceutical company (the base of the drug is but it’s being altered by the university hospital) and instead by a local hospital/university that didn’t know if it was going to work, there’s no ethical guidelines that say the placebo patients are entitled to the drug. It sucks but there’s the drug group and then there’s the control group and we all signed a paper saying we won’t sue, claim monetary rights or get the drug for free regardless of what group we were in.

EDIT3: I get it, I’m not empathetic enough and I need to work on that. I guess that start by apologizing to my mother for HOW I conveyed my feelings and opinion.

Dienes posted:

Maybe as someone who actually had to go through a cancer diagnosis, I just can't stand people rounding up "might have gotten cancer sometime" to "actually had cancer."

Elective mascetomies are a thing. There's clinics in my state that offer them. And research that suggets that women getting them are underinformed as they don't necessary get a second test to confirm those results, nor meet with genetic counselors. The OP says wife didn't talk to anyone about it, including her husband, so I'm just going by that.

Licarn posted:

A deleted post by the op


AITA for only participating in a medical drug study because I got the drug for free and if it works long term it’ll be really expensive and consider the way it could help people a bonus ?

Licarn posted:

my levels are going down, back to normal.

Licarn posted:

quote:

I need to know if I’m in the wrong on this, but AITA doesn’t let you mention certain things / they censor a lot of posts so I figured I’d try here.

So I met this particular friend in college. She and I bonded quickly and became pretty close, and have stayed close since graduating a little over a year ago. We live relatively near to each other and meet up every so often.

About six weeks ago, she went vegan. Which would be totally A-Okay! But she’s become insanely militant about it and it’s really bizarre.
She requested that I not eat vegan food in front of her (“you can do what you want when I’m not around, but don’t make me watch you eat animal products, it’s unfair”). I thought this was a ridiculous request of course, but how hard would it really be to just eat vegan food every once in a while when we grab lunch?

Turns out, rather difficult. We went for brunch and I put honey in my tea, not even thinking about it. She went on a whole tirade and ended it with “i guess I’ll have to pick strictly vegan restaurants where the option just isn’t there. Because clearly the temptation is too strong for you.”

I replied, “why do you get to police my diet? Why do you get to decide what I am allowed to eat?” She said “it’s very clearly disrespectful to me. It’s an issue of ethics. Would you go out to lunch with a friend if that friend were a rapist?”
I asked her if she thought eating a burger made someone as bad as a rapist. She goes “I’m not trying to put things on a moral scale, but both actions are conscious, malicious choices to be violent.”

I told her that she’s delusional and completely unhinged. She did the moral high ground routine and said I’m just afraid of being confronted by the truth (evidently, that I’m on the same level as a rapist.) She said she hopes one day I understand that my actions, by definition, make me evil.

I told her she needed therapy and a Valium. We haven’t spoken since, but she did go on an enormous twitter rant in a 30 tweet thread about “toxic people” who “cant accept the lifestyle of others” and “have no empathy”.

Should I have just apologized for the honey, and agreed to go to vegan places from then on out? It’s not like it would’ve put me out to force me to eat vegan food like, once a month. And I know that this legitimately bothers her (clearly).

TLDR: friend goes vegan, says people who consume animal products are as bad as rapists. I flat out told her she’s delusional and she flipped out. I’m now wondering if maybe I should’ve cut her some slack as a new vegan who’s in that “everyone who isn’t vegan is garbage” phase.

quote:

I know some people think that love languages are super lame but it made sense to me. So my love language is quality time. I need a lot of love and attention to thrive, however I am still a rational person who understands that no one owes me their time.
A lot of my relationships and flings are ending because I feel like my meeds in this regard are not being met. I feel like the honeymoon period ends too quickly and too drastically and I go from being showered in attention to being put on the back burner way too soon which leaves me feeling rejected.

My current relationship is brand new (one month), when we first met he (36, M) showered me with love and attention and told me several times that he is a very caring and attentive partner. Then things became busy on his side and Ive been doing my best to be understanding. However, when it became too much and things were taking too long to return to normal, I though the mature thing to do would be to tell him I need some love and attention as he cant fix something when he doesnt know whats wrong. He said he was driving (understandable) but I fell asleep before he got back to me. This morning I had to reach out to him first and he didnt mention anything so I brought it up again. He reminded me how busy he is and was sort of like ‘mmmh that must suck’.

This does suck and is becoming a pattern. I know I am high maintenance, but I dont know how to change things. Plz halp. No amount of pottery and nights out with friends fills my ‘love tank’ if you will. I crave attention from my partner

TL;DR my need or desire for quality time or attention is ruining my relationships

ilmucche posted:

Mode please disregard their edit


Someone in another thread made some pretty good points about how beekeeping can be pretty bad for native species. Something about domesticated species used for honey are basically invasive and I can't remember the details but it was a really good post.

dick wizard posted:

Bees have been domesticated for literally thousands of years. For a couple of hundred years, we've been able to harvest honey without destroying the beehive.
Pretty sure that beekeeping isn't the catalyst for colony collapse given how long beekeeping has been around. When every example of why something is bad begins with, "it could," it's safe to say that it's just vegans having infant brains from lack of animal protein.

professor metis posted:

AITA for not letting a kid pat my dog?

I have a beautiful Bernese Mountain Dog who is 7 months old. He pretty much comes everywhere with me, and people always stop us to say hi and pat him. He is adorable and an unusual breed so I really don’t blame them. Most people ask if it’s ok to pat him, and even those who don’t ask will usually just give him a quick pat and be on their way.

When he was a puppy, maybe only 10 weeks old, I was out for breakfast with a friend and he was with us. He was the most adorable ball of fluff and everybody wanted to pat him - all good, I would want to if I saw him out in public too. Out of nowhere this father brings up his infant (not yet walking) son and puts him right up in my dogs face. He was so lucky that my dog instinctively knew to be gentle, because he was at an age where he wanted to bite everything with his little puppy teeth and jump and play.

I told off the dad for a) not asking first, and b) putting his kid’s face right in my dog’s face. He was pretty offended and took his son and left. Whatever. I didn’t really think much of it, and figured that he was 100% in the wrong and was irresponsible.

More recently my friend who was there brought it up with another friend and they agreed that I was rude for telling the dad off. Basically their argument is that I shouldn’t of got a cute/uncommon breed if I didn’t want people to pat him. In addition to that, if he wasn’t friendly I shouldn’t take him out in public. I’m kind of stumped by this, I still think I was in the right, but maybe I’m biased? AITA??

JacquelineDempsey posted:

Yeah, meanwhile vegans love their almond milk, and don't realize it's massively destroying bee populations.

Here.

RoboRodent posted:

I'm fascinated by homophobe bride. It sounds like she's been simmering in disgust over how her friend is gross and weird for a decade before it came bubbling out in the most horrible way because they were both planning weddings at the same time and how dare she, weddings are only for normal people.

I mean, gently caress her. But I'm amazed this only came out (ha) now.

cumshitter posted:

If you can outright gift people property hire a financial advisor. Gifting the property ensures the grandson will retain the grandfather's cost basis. Meaning that unless he plans to live there for life he will have to pay capital gains based on the difference in purchase price between what the grandfather paid and what the grandson will eventually sell it for.

Better to place it in a trust or something with instructions that the home pass to the grandson on the death of both grandparents. This will include it in the surviving spouse's estate but unless the grandparents plan to be worth more than ~$11.2 million plus inflation adjustments + annual gifts beyond the exclusion amount it will allow the grandson to save a lot of money on capital gains taxes down the line. This is unlikely; our current estate tax exclusion/Unified Credit means that less than 0.1% of all estates pay estate taxes.

There's other things to consider and each person's financial situation is unique. Such as whether or not an 18 year old can cover property taxes and whether or not allowing the grandson to live there rent free while the grandparents retain ownership will constitute a gift beyond the annual $15,000 exclusion. But that's why you visit your local business hole at your nearest gay bar, where I am always inexplicably present at every hole whenever rich people are in their hour of greatest need like a Bagger Vance who sucks your dick.

SirSamVimes posted:

Perhaps him preferring his own company has something the fact that his sister is the kind of person who screams abuse at him and intentionally breaks his property.

He shouldn't be obliged to spend time with her tbh.

Licarn posted:

Advice on banishing someone from my life

chitoryu12 posted:

How the hell did she let her daughter get to the point of taking an hour deciding on the perfect outfit to just sit at home and do nothing?

Beachcomber posted:

I'm barely in clothes if I can help it.

chitoryu12 posted:

I dress well and usually buy good stuff, but this girl wasn't even spending an hour deciding what to wear for going out. This was just for doing homework. Especially if she's 13, that goes beyond just being into fashion and into concern about how she was raised.

bell jar posted:

its because they act like lovers, not roommates

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL posted:

Going back to naming a kid “Harry Potter” a few pages ago, I will never forget the moment I was visiting a friend working for a comic shop and heard a parent call two kids over - “Parker! Grayson! Time to get going!” This was about a decade ago and the kids were like 6-8 years old, so the names didn’t even sound out of place for the time period.

For the less dorky among us: they’re named after Spider-Man’s and the original Robin’s last names.

Uncle Enzo posted:

Only question is whether the husband was cheating. If not, then I think she was in the clear- it's not like it's ok to out people.

If the husband was hooking up then yes she is a turbo rear end in a top hat for not telling her sister she was being cheated on.

Unless the hooking up was implied by "hanging at gay bar" which wouldn't surprise me. In which case yes, she's an rear end in a top hat for not giving the information she needs to make decisions about who she has sex with.

henkman posted:

AITA for telling my girlfriend that she needs to shave her legs?

A HUNGRY MOUTH posted:

At first she came across as possibly an unaware motormouth, but after excavating this deeply buried lede it's clear that he's doing this deliberately to provoke her

Kitchner posted:

Human garbage isn't a traditional demographic.

Wutang-Yutani posted:

You wanna know what cops spend most of their time doing? Helping people.
Would loving love to see how long you'd all last in a world without them.

Kitchner posted:

Plus she like literally fled the city.

I was actually believing it was true until she said that.

Better Than You posted:

Going through the comments there is another twist he's autistic

e: beaten

spacetoaster posted:

Jewish? Could be muslim too though.

Reddit OP posted:

My religion is not the one based in Utah. We forbid non members from entering only for special ceremonies such as weddings and funerals.

I'm being vague because I don't want to reveal what ethnicity I am since that might prejudice the answers. But I doubt anyone here has heard of my religion. We are quite small.
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RoboRodent posted:

Religions that practice shunning are the worst. I've seen it first hand with a few of my sisters' friends. I'd guess Jehovah's Witness, just because a practicing Mennonite or Amish or Scientologist is unlikely to be posting on reddit, but you do get Jewish or Catholic sects that will do it too.

Edit:


Maybe Baha'i, then.

Xenocides posted:

This is the kind of guy you could kill and hide the body and no one would ever look for him.

ArbitraryC posted:

Not sure what there is to be torn about. Guy can still be involved in the kids life after divorce should the mom be okay with it, and if she's not okay with it then she would have been a nightmare to deal with in custody agreements anyways so might as well cut and run. There's p much zero scenario where going through with it works for anyone but the soon to be ex wife, kid is gonna get financial assistance either way.

ArbitraryC posted:

sounds like the court already has him out of the picture, and I doubt the agreement was "only if you marry the OP lady, you can divorce him in a week tho"