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Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

This thread gets a fair amount of poo poo but it never fails to warm my heart seeing these stories where people make it through their terrible childhood and then tell their awful parents to gently caress off forever.

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Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

MagusofStars posted:

But how the gently caress do you manage to break a computer screen multiple times a month? Like, Archie grew up with televisions in the house; presumably his family wasn't shattering the TV and buying a new one every two weeks.

https://youtu.be/AIzT7wBjfBs

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

Googling "school prank damage" brings up a lot of stories on one thing that happened last year, dunno if posting it would be too close to doxxing but the long and short of it was super glued doors, spray painted windows, a metric fuckload of toilet paper, and oil all over the floors.

Nothing racist or physically harmful but drat that's a lot and I wish I could muster up that kind of energy to do anything in life.

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

Holy poo poo, pregnant mistress or no, sell the goddamn restaurant while it's still doing relatively well, never mind all this "just manage it for 18 years while also lawyering" business, what the hell, no.

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

Darkhold posted:

Personal relationship I guess.
Your wife either has ADHD or is a ticket to easy Etsy money, depending on how many of these hobbies she actually sticks with.

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

Dr. Demon Davis, DDS

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

Huh. That post has actually really made me examine myself and question whether my position on the issue is healthy. I'm also voluntarily not having kids, both because I'm aware I'd be a poo poo parent and because there's a long list of physical and mental illness in my family.

I can empathize with the dude's hesitance to potentially raise a kid who he views as being significantly more difficult to raise than a hearing child. On the other hand, his attitude is inarguably ableist by its definition.

I mean this without sarcasm, this is why I still visit this forum. It still makes me challenge myself.

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

Funktastic posted:

imo this makes the dad also an rear end in a top hat
My name opinion on this hinges entirely on whether or not said box has a lock. If not, yeah, gently caress this dude. If it does that seems like a low key admission that stepmom did it and sorry, here's a safeguard against her crazy rear end. Still a dick for lying about where he found it though.

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

Before the pandemic I was a regular at a weekly nude sketch meetup and it's the absolute least sexy thing imaginable unless you can pop a boner to NPR and desperately trying to fix a smudge before a timer goes off, I guess.

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

Hot drat that is the smartest 17-year-old I have ever seen.

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

We Need to Talk About the Name "Kevin"

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

The only problem with knowing a lot of vegans is there is, invariably, a ten minute discussion about how vegan cheese is actually really good you should try it no not that one this one it's actually better than real cheese

Like okay, sure, but like hell I'm paying $17 for vegan cheese, drat.

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

ikanreed posted:

My vegan friend makes their own vegan cheeses at home and they're unironically pretty tasty
Yeah some of it's pretty good. Just weird that it always becomes an introductory topic like vegans can look at me and say "I'll bet that bitch loves cheese."

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

Huh. At 5' 8" I thought I was pretty much average but now I'm gonna start wearing heels again just to assert my dominance.

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

kimbo305 posted:

You haven't noticed you're taller than most women?
my posture is terrible

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

Anticheese posted:



Saw this at a cat cafe.

E: ah I'll just post. As a non binary transfeminine person early in transition, gendered bathrooms and imported bathroom panic stuff make me uncomfortable

So this one was a nice surprise that made me smile :3:

I unironically want this on my bathroom door.

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

Kuros posted:

Maybe fake, but still, lmao at the edit.

AITA for not replacing my wife's knitting yarn after I accidentally threw it away?
Knitting is productive and can be done while still hanging out with your SO, I really don't know what else you could possibly want in their hobby.

(I know he does not actually want her to have hobbies)

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

Aginor posted:

I've decided I'm changing my last name because I'm that estranged from my family. Does that sound fair, thread?

Edit: Does Luke Blake sound like a good name?
:hellyeah:

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

I went looking for content just so I could say this: This besmirching of tiny local taquerias and their terrible photo menus will not stand. You'll take my delicious $2 tortas from my cold, fat hands.

Anyway, look at this wiener.

quote:

Am I (M19) Obligated to show up to my Gf (F20) birthday party?

To start off today is my girlfriends birthday. This morning I took her out to a super fancy breakfast gave her all of the gifts I got her, we both had a genuinely good time. Her plan has always been to throw a party tonight which I have planned on attending (since we live together).. and she kind of expects me to. Because of it being her birthday I’ve paid for everything for the party, in total in the past week I’ve spent almost $1000 on her for her gifts and party she’s throwing at our place (I am by no means wealthy). The issue is... today I found out all who is showing up. Her friends are all about the party life, they drink and smoke like crazy, I do not like surrounding myself with people like that, to be honest her friends are very immature and I don’t like them but I keep my mouth shut. All I’m asking is, am I in the wrong if I choose not to attend the party, based on the fact I do not want to be around alcohol in the hands of underage people and people smoking (all of which is illegal)?

TL;DR Am I in the wrong not attending my girlfriends party because of the underage drinking and smoking that will be going on

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

Hellblazer187 posted:

Reddit pretty universal here voting YTA.

Honestly any one of these that gets posted here, if I have strong opinions I go check reddit's verdict and usually they vote the same way I do.
If nothing else, r/r seems to be good about shaming out assholes. Which is good, because the admins don't seem to do anything except delete threads that contain unacceptable keywords.

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

Sisal Two-Step posted:

AITA for not wanting my mother in law to take care of my baby after she tried to breastfeed him?

HAIL PAIMON

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

A clear sign that I'm getting old and out of touch is the fact that 11-year-old kids can access and post on Reddit is legitimately horrifying to me.

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

Any teenager who actually wants to share a room is weird as hell.

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Yeah, he's being a giant misogynistic baby, but salmon and a hot dog sounds like a cooking show challenge.

I'm gonna guess this man doesn't have a particularly refined palate.

As for bad dad #274, I can't say I'd be super stoked to give $120,000 to a kid who obviously wants nothing to do with me, but I've also never raised a kid to age 12. I'd probably give him half and build up on the other for stepkid, but even then, ex is absolutely going to raise hell whether he gives some or nothing. He does write like an rear end in a top hat, though.

Enemabag Jones fucked around with this message at 18:49 on Feb 24, 2021

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

LadyPictureShow posted:

My (25F) ex-fiancé (25M) took my ex-best friend’s (25F) virginity and moved her into our home. I’m pregnant with our first child.

Not even gonna complain about never getting the Covid vaccine as long as I can keep getting this content pumped in my veins.

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

I have an AITA/r/r-adjacent question, and I trust the people here to make decent judgement, should I :justpost: or is there a better thread for that?

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

Batterypowered7 posted:

The meta thing would have been to post it to Reddit on a burner account then link it here.
It ain't that juicy, but I could post some lovely poly relationship stories from my Rocky Horror cast days in there for sure.

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

Oh poo poo, I forgot e/n was a thing, do they still do the Darfur orphan thing?

E: eh, gently caress it, I don't want to poo poo up the thread, half of the very sweet elderly couple I live next to is screaming a lot, has signs of aggressive dementia-like symptoms, do I reach out or would that make me a Nextdoor neighbor?

Enemabag Jones fucked around with this message at 21:24 on Mar 3, 2021

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

We had a missing stair we caught onto quick and now we have a mugshot of him in his RenFaire getup that they still pass around as a warning.

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015


I know this is well-tread ground but Jesus Christ the mods at legaladvice suck. Every comment that isn't just "get a lawyer" is removed.

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

Claw machine girl whips rear end, put a couple pinball games down there and I'd never leave the house.

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

I used to foster animals and only did pregnant dogs/pup litters a handful of times, it is absolutely disgusting. The puppies are cute, sure, but you will never forget the reek of dog poo poo, and keeping all the wriggly motherfuckers clean, warm, and fed at all times is a sisyphusian task.

Kittens are ridiculously easy to take care of in comparison. If I showed up to my house and found 10 newborn puppies I can't guarantee I'd be acting much better than the roommate.

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

Wow, racist, has herpes, and is a member of multiple lovely discords, better put a ring on it, can't let that keeper loose

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

Megillah Gorilla posted:

Something like two thirds of the all the people under 50 in the world are infected with herpes.

Having it doesn't make someone an rear end in a top hat. Not telling their partner they're having an outbreak while having unprotected sex does.

Yeah my bad, I should've thought more on how to phrase that. "Spreads herpes to unwitting partners," then.

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

He should tell her that, statistically, she's most likely to be murdered by someone she knows, so she isn't really safe no matter where she lives. That'll put her at ease!

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

I can't form an opinion about pizza couple because my brain gets stuck on the fact that this dude fully intended to eat about $60 worth of pizza, wings, and breadsticks BY HIMSELF.

Maybe lady just wanted to cry alone for a while because she realized she'd married Pizza the Hutt.

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

Smirking_Serpent posted:

My friends (22 Fs) think I’m (22 F) a “pick me girl”
One of the many things that sucks about being a woman is if you're just naturally friendly, yes, this happens pretty much all the time. Less as you get older, but still more than it should.

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

Vim Fuego posted:

the pomeranian survival strategy is cunning for sure

Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

That is literally every thread title on the Something Awful forums.

The diabetes one is v funny.

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Enemabag Jones
Mar 24, 2015

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

AITA for singing songs that I made up?
Honestly I applaud him for lasting as long as he did.

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