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haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal

luxury handset posted:

this is impressively stupid

this weirdo will definitely not post the amazing sandwich recipe, but i have to see it

There's a twitter thread somewhere written by one of the people trying to coax the recipe out of him. No results last time I checked

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haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal
The only thing better than ordering things from shady chinese resellers is ordering things from shady chinese resellers and then eating them

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal
In NYC that's the rule, you have to stay in the bar area. We go to trivia at the nearest Whole Foods bar because the prize is a gift card good for the whole store.

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal

Ugly In The Morning posted:

Why would you even want someone who doesn't drink coffee to make the coffee, it'd probably turn out loving terrible.

Yeah, that's what I'm wondering. Although maybe doing this once would put them off requesting it ever again.

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal
Looking forward to the followup about the huge blowup he has with his girlfriend when some baby thing disrupts his sacrosanct gaming schedule

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal
That's only 3 cupcakes each, maybe they're tiny. Which just leads to someone popping the whole thing into their mouth without biting it and the reveal still fails.

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal

Play posted:

You'd think gender reveal parties would be relatively safe, undramatic events

To be fair most of them are, you never hear about them because parties where nobody gets hurt don't go viral

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal
Clearly the solution is to follow the theme to the letter and show up to the wedding with your hair dyed blue and green

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal
He creates the bot and later discovers that his girlfriend has also been using a bot to send "I love you" all this time. They break up but their phones fall in love.

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for pregnancy/baby-proofing my house?

This man and I have very different tastes in women and presumably coffee

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal

I always figured that person was also an Izzard reference :shrug:

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal
Normally you wait until the baby is born to develop munchausen syndrome by proxy

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal
Get a company truck with a sign on it saying "TINY DICK ------->" and park it in the adjacent spot until he takes the sticker off

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal

purple death ray posted:

Have you ever actually seen a sweet 16 thrown for a boy?

We need to start a tradition of Hell Yeah 16 parties

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal

Sunswipe posted:

I realise I may not want to know, but wtf does "ISFJ" mean?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers-Briggs_Type_Indicator

Knowing what this is, taking it seriously, and using someone else's results to introduce them are all extremely bad signs.

haveblue fucked around with this message at 18:36 on Feb 1, 2020

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal

Licarn posted:

I want to know how the ISFJ-liker knows what her personality type is. Is it more likely that she told him for some reason, that he did an online test and gave the answers he thought she would give, or that he just diagnosed her himself.

They work together so it's possible they were ordered to take the test and share the results with the team.

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal
It's either CPS, committing child abandonment yourself, or ceding control of your schedule to your rear end in a top hat family

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal
Start singing it during sex

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal
Excessive rear end slapping in sports is a serious problem and we shouldn't be making light of it

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal
That inheritance is going to the lawyers

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal

TheDeadlyShoe posted:

Kinda creeped out that the papers are keeping their eye on /relationships/

They don't have to, really egregious stuff will go viral and get noticed everywhere

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal

Very disappointed this guy apparently meant to write "kick out"

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA... I’m pissed that I got a Peloton for my birthday?

Don't these things come with a hefty subscription fee? Who's paying it?

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal

Sunswipe posted:

Re: the Peloton post: It's an exercise bike with a subscription fee for classes. What the gently caress is a class on using an exercise bike? "Now pedal and pedal and pedal and pedal and pedal and pedal and pedal and pedal and pedal and pedal and pedal and pedal and pedal and pedal and pedal and pedal and pedal and pedal and pedal and pedal and pedal and pedal and pedal..."

Pretty much, spin sessions at a real gym work the same way. Some people exercise better with someone yelling encouragement at them and changing up the intensity every few minutes, or at least believe they do enough that it's popular.

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal

Smirking_Serpent posted:

I’m imagining the Chappelle sketch where in the end, he WAS cheating on her the whole time

I’m imagining the Arrested Development episode where one of them was obsessed with figuring out why his girlfriend was so interested in “Hermano”

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal
It had been family knowledge that they were trying for months, there was no way to pass up an opportunity to drink without touching off a gossip wildfire

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal
It became necessary to destroy the marriage in order to save it

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal
Let's not lose sight of what's really important here: did they post a picture of the cat

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal
Granny clockin', not double FSB bumping like he should be

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal

Problem Sleuth posted:

Don't you just take the first name of both hyphenated names or something like that? So smith-doe and mason-taylor would have kids with the last name mason-smith or smith-mason.

Either that or keep your surnames and give the kid the one surname of the parent of the matching gender

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal

Barudak posted:

In some rather presitigious british circles you keep last names of families that died out due to marriage so theres some upper cruster whose last name is like Clegg-Grimsball-Fanshaw-Clegg because its two different Clegg clans worth noting forever.

Personally do whatever you feel about names but my personal recommendation is of course naming your children identically to a famous rich persons kid in hopes theyll be able to comp free hotel stays due to system errors when theyre older

Use the surname "Null" so you can tie computers in knots and hope you don't end up like this guy

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal

UltraRed posted:

“(R word) your teacher and then beat up your classmates”

Really want to know what the R-word is that makes this sentence make sense.

The four-letter one that ends in -pe

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal

oh no computer posted:

I haven't read HP for years but isn't this the dipshit house?

The houses are basically "brave", "smart", "ambitious", and "other". That last one is Hufflepuff.

haveblue fucked around with this message at 15:53 on Feb 19, 2020

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal
When I first started reading that, before I got to the part where the husband confessed, I thought she had just had some kind of psychotic break because "someone close to me has suddenly been replaced by an imposter" is a symptom of a rare but well-known psychiatric disorder

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal
Even beyond that, you will have far more polished, sterling resumes with no obvious flaws than you know what to do with. At that point you have to resort to increasingly picayune and arbitrary culls to get the pile down to a manageable size until you're throwing out resumes by coin flip just to eliminate the "unlucky" candidates.

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal
Thinking that pets are interchangeable commodities is less afternoon sitcom and more sociopath

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal

Megillah Gorilla posted:

I sometimes wonder if, in our future of fully automated luxury gay space communism, will everyone be like this guy?

Nah, this is a right-wing behavior. He tries to criminalize his own moral failings so he can vicariously observe punishment being meted out to other people. If he were gay instead of alcoholic he'd be pushing conversion therapy and religious freedom protections instead.

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal
Well good news she's about to lose 160 pounds

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal

Arsenic Lupin posted:

You could probably manage it if you shopped only at Whole Foods. Probably.

I've been making a list of Top Answers to Reddit Questions. Please add your suggestions.

1. Yes, that's abuse. You are being abused. Here is an abuse hotline.
1a. The police will walk you back to the house to collect your documents and valuables.
1b. It sucks that you're under [legal age in your state]. Start preparing to leave at 18.
1c. Yes, you can move out of your parents' home. Here are the documents you'll need. Here are some financial hints.

1d. Change all your passwords and make sure you are the only one with access to your bank account

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haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal
That family was a tinderbox and the younger cousin would have blown it up himself once he discovered 23andMe

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