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Breitbart Is Rightbart
Sep 12, 2013


Davros1 posted:

Hard Target or Surviving the Game?

Goddamn I've been searching for Surviving the Game for years. My kid self was a fan of Mario Van Peebles thanks to Highlander 3, and I've confused him and Ice T.

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CzarChasm
Mar 14, 2009

Blah Blah Blah
Look at me
I'm the Goddamn Batman
Blah Blah Blah


your evil twin posted:

When I was a kid, I saw a short animated film on British TV. Was back in the early 90s, wouldn't surprise me if the film was from the 80s. It was less than an hour, maybe only half hour or 45 minutes. The film didn't have lots of dialogue, the whole story was narrated by a male voice.

It starts with about a boy who is walking through some kind of swamp or blasted wasteland and is then approached by a wizard/sorceror who tricks him into coming to his castle.

The castle has a magical escalator for stairs, and at the top of the escalator there are 2 statues of big black cats like panthers.

Once inside the castle the boy become a prisoner and slave to the wizard. He has to work in sone kind of pit, or underneath a cauldron or something like that, where he gets covered in slime. I think there might also have been a girl prisoner too, but not sure about that.

If they try to leave, the two black cat statues come to life and turn towards them and growl, so they can't go down the escalator.

At the end the boy uses the wizard's spell book to fight him and transform into various creatures; the wizard transforms as well to counter whatever the boy becomes. So the boy becomes a fly. The wizard becomes the obvious thing, a spider, to get him. The spider still has the wizard's face, but with eight black legs.

Then the boy immediately transforms back into a human, and slams the spell book shut on the spider-wizard, crushing him.

With the wizard dead the castle crumbles, the kid/kids escape. The aftermath shows one of the cat statues still briefly standing, then toppling over.

I've spent literally hours googling and looking through lists of animated films on IMDB and other places, with no luck.

So, this wasn't a movie, but you have basically outlined the plot of one of the Kings Quest adventure games. 2, 3, or 4, I want to say.

Hannibal Rex
Feb 13, 2010


You're the enslaved servant to a wizard in KQ3, while in KQ5, you defeat that wizard's wizard brother by a similar shapeshifting duel. Knowing Roberta Williams, it's quite possible both scenarios where inspired by the movie the OP is looking for.

My Lovely Horse
Aug 21, 2010




I don't want to say it's not a promising lead, but that kind of shapeshifting duel is also pretty firmly entrenched in folklore and probably pops up in a lot of places.

your evil twin
Aug 23, 2010

"What we're dealing with...
is us! Those things look just like us!"

"Speak for yourself, I couldn't look that bad on a bet."


Snowglobe of Doom posted:

That's weirdly similar to the 1978 Czechoslovakian film Krabat L' Apprenti Sorcier with really specific details such as a runaway kid tricked into working for a sorceror, wizard's spell book used for a shapeshifter duel and a black spider with the wizard's face, but the rest is all different.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBG54ScnyHY

THANK YOU SO MUCH. Because although you were right about it being different, it was indeed weirdly similar. And so by doing research into Krabat, I was then able to find the actual film I was looking for. Thank you!

On wikipedia I read articles about Krabat, and The Sorcerer's Apprentice, and found that both Krabat and the Disney Fantasia bit with Mickey Mouse are all variants of an archetypal story, named after a 1790s German poem, "The Sorcerer's Apprentice", where he creates lots of brooms that end up flooding a castle. (The basis for the Disney cartoon.)

A common variant of this archetypal story is known as "The Master and his Pupil" or "The Magician and his Pupil", which ends in a transformation duel or transformation chase.

So I then started doing searches for "The Master and his Pupil" or "The Magician and his Pupil" or "The Sorcerer's Apprentice". Of course searching for The Sorcerer's Apprentice just got stuff about the Mickey Mouse bit of Fantasia, or a 2010 Disney film with Nicolas Cage. And searching for The Master and his Pupil or The Magician and his Pupil got various stories similar to what I was looking for, but not the actual one.

I'd previously searched for "animated film about a wizard who turns into a spider", no luck. Thanks to it being related to the Sorcerer's Apprentice, I tried searching for "animated film about a sorcerer who turns into a spider", still no luck.

Finally, I searched for "animated film about a sorcerer who transforms into a spider" - and it seems that was the magic word. (Pun intended.) Because after several pages of google results to do with spider-man comics and cartoons, and Dr Strange, and the Disney Sorcerer's Apprentice, and so-on, finally, on PAGE 5 of the google results, I spotted this, a PDF file of someone's academic text about children's books and films about magic, especially ones related to the Sorcerer's Apprentice... https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/ad...ba62c404bea.pdf

google posted:

pdfs.semanticscholar.org õ add7 PDF
The Sorcerer's Apprentice - Semantic Scholar

ďwhiteĒ magic to transform themselves and their environments in ways that ... half of the spell; splitting the animated pestle with an axe only divides it into two servants ... included ďThe Sorcerer's ApprenticeĒ in the film Fantasia as part of an effort ... the magic book, and Spellbinder replies by transforming himself into a spider.

So while most of that seemed to be about the Disney thing, that last chunk seemed relevant. So I opened that up, searched for "spider", and on page 65 found this...

The Sorcerer's Apprentice - Semantic Scholar posted:

Perhaps the most interesting films since 1945 that have explored the underlying tensions and complexities of ďThe Sorcererís ApprenticeĒ tales are two short films, one a ballet directed by the multitalented Michael Powell, The Sorcererís Apprentice (1955), and the other, an animated film, The Sorcererís Apprentice (1980), directed by the gifted Canadian filmmaker Peter Sander...

...In contrast Sanderís film is a stunning, simple depiction of the clever and rebellious apprentice, based allegedly on a tale by the Brothers Grimm and narrated by the well-known American actor Vincent Price. Actually this cinematic adaptation borrows greatly from other European tales and features a poor young boy named Hans wandering through a desolate landscape. Suddenly he encounters a black cat, which changes itself into the vicious sorcerer, named Spellbinder, who asks him to become his apprentice. In need of work and money Hans agrees to come with him, but when he tells Spellbinder that he can read and write, the sorcerer rejects him. Quickly Hans pretends that he cannot and convinces the sorcerer by saying that he had previously misunderstood him. So Spellbinder takes him to his majestic castle on the top of the mountain, where he meets Greta, the young modest maid, who keeps house for the sorcerer. Hans is put to work and made to do menial tasks that enable the sorcerer to develop his powers. Once Hans discovers that the sorcerer often leaves the castle to cause havoc in the world, he decides, with the help of Greta, to read the magic book of spells so that he can oppose Spellbinder. At one point the sorcerer discovers Hansís secret and challenges him to a duel that takes several days until Hans changes himself into a fly on the magic book, and Spellbinder replies by transforming himself into a spider. Just as Spellbinder is about to eat Hans as a fly, Hans changes himself back into a human and slams the magic book shut, thereby crushing Spellbinder. Then the castle begins to crumble and eventually explodes, as Hans and Greta escape with the magic book. Greta remarks that he can now change the world for the better with his magic. Hans agrees, and the first thing he wants to do, he tells Greta, is to teach her how to read. They hold hands as they march off to Hansís home.

(By the way, that same academic text has a bit about Krabat as well.)

Anyway... Holy poo poo, it's actually called THE SORCERER'S APPRENTICE.

The bloody same name as the Disney Fantasia bit, and the 2010 Nicholas Cage movie, and that Czechoslovakian Krabat film.

It's narrated by bloody VINCENT PRICE, and a bit of googling indicates it was nominated for an academy award for best animated film. So you'd think it would be well-known. Except nowadays it is so obscure it doesn't have a wikipedia article!

Not only that, the wikipedia article about the Sorcerer's Apprentice poem mentions the various films it inspired - including the Disney ones and Krabat - but doesn't mention this Vincent Price film!

Anyway, by knowing it came out in 1980, was directed by Peter Sander, and narrated by Vincent Price, I was able to find it on YouTube.

The video quality is poor - not only is it ripped from a VHS, but it was uploaded years ago, when you could only upload short chunks of video at low resolution. It's never been released on DVD or on any streaming service, it seems it's been forgotten about for decades. There's also a more recent YouTube upload with slightly better picture quality, but the sound is awful, constant loud hissing, and when you're watching something narrated by Vincent Price, you don't want bad sound quality.

So, I hereby present... a very blurry version of "The Sorcerer's Apprentice".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BADwDBcv95w
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAW4n7zBieg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8fcWbN3XvI

feedmyleg
Dec 25, 2004

EVERY FAIRY TALE NEEDS ITS HERO.

Hell yeah good digging

Katt
Nov 14, 2017



What movie is this from?

https://twitter.com/tornado5007/sta...5564304384?s=20

Origami Dali
Jan 7, 2005

Get ready to fuck!
You fucker's fucker!
You fucker!


Triumph of the Will

Snowglobe of Doom
Mar 30, 2012

Because if I tell you, you'll tell your friends, your friends are callin' me on the horn all the time, I gotta show up at shopping centers for openings and sign autographs and shit like that and it makes my life a *hell*. Okay? A living hell.


Fan of Britches

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lg2dqFCU67Q

Edit: hilariously, it was entirely the stone giant's fault that the town was placed in danger in the first place due to his incompetence and inattention and he totally could have saved everyone except he got his feelings hurt by annoying little attacks which didn't even hurt him so he abandoned his responsibilities and just let everyone die.

An excellent metaphor for Trump's COVID-19 response.

Snowglobe of Doom fucked around with this message at 14:25 on May 27, 2020

GoldStandardConure
Jun 11, 2010

I have to kill fast
and mayflies too slow



Pillbug

ilmucche posted:

So there's a movie I saw that I think takes place in a future dystopia kind of thing. The only scene I can remember is the main character (who I think is a cop?) goes to visit a gangster who has used his debtors as living statues. He has them all in hosed paralysis but with wires connected to their nerves and stuff so he can torture them. I think at the end of the movie the gangster dies but I'm not sure on that.

Sorry I don't have more to go on, it's a weird scene that came into my head and I'm curious what movie it's from.

there is a bit like this in the Riddick: Dark Fury short movie

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_C...dick:_Dark_Fury

Switzerland
Feb 18, 2005
Do what thou must do.

About 25-ish years ago, living in $username, I saw a movie on TV a coupla times. French movie, and I could've sworn it was Sophie Marceau, but none of her filmography jumps out as this movie. I barely remember it, I believe it was some kind of coming-of-age movie.

The two scenes I remember are:

1) Near the beginning of the film, the protagonist's... brother or lover comes home drunk at night. Protagonist is in the house's garden, or looking out the window. The guy pees in the garden's bushes, and she says something like "i hate that you pee in our garden" to him

2) Towards the end of the movie, she's at fancy villa that has a pool that is both indoor pool and, through a connecting tunnel (as part of the pool) also an outdoor pool.

Anyone remember this?

Torquemada
Oct 21, 2010

Drei Gläser


Is this Stealing Beauty?

Timby
Dec 23, 2006

Your mother!


Torquemada posted:

Is this Stealing Beauty?

That's what I was thinking.

Switzerland
Feb 18, 2005
Do what thou must do.

Nope, definitely made in the 80s

Dmitri-9
Nov 30, 2004

There's something really sexy about Scrooge McDuck. I love Uncle Scrooge.


I'm trying to remember the name of a crime film, it was about a kidnapper and ransomer that targeted other criminals. I think it was made in the last decade.

Metaline
Aug 20, 2003





Clearly no one ITT has ever seen Stealing Beauty.

Torquemada
Oct 21, 2010

Drei Gläser


Seen it, barely made an impression. Pretty people sitting round a pool is like 50% of the movie.

SolarFire2
Oct 16, 2001

"You're awefully cute, but unfortunately for you, you're made of meat." - Meat And Sarcasm Guy!

Dmitri-9 posted:

I'm trying to remember the name of a crime film, it was about a kidnapper and ransomer that targeted other criminals. I think it was made in the last decade.

Could be A Walk Among the Tombstones.

Dmitri-9
Nov 30, 2004

There's something really sexy about Scrooge McDuck. I love Uncle Scrooge.


SolarFire2 posted:

Could be A Walk Among the Tombstones.

Sorry no. It was a noirish film but more psychological and less action. Also the kidnappers targeted children of criminals if I remember correctly.

Trevor Hale
Dec 8, 2008

What have I become, my Swedish friend?



Dmitri-9 posted:

Sorry no. It was a noirish film but more psychological and less action. Also the kidnappers targeted children of criminals if I remember correctly.

Payback?

Retro Futurist
Aug 8, 2007

Yesterday's Tomorrow,
Today!


Dmitri-9 posted:

Sorry no. It was a noirish film but more psychological and less action. Also the kidnappers targeted children of criminals if I remember correctly.

Was it that one with Hugh Jackman and Jake Gyllenhaal?

Skutter
Apr 7, 2007

I was curious to see how far you'd go to find me. Well, here I am.


A sci-fi movie, rented from Netflix on DVD back in the late 2000s/early 2010s, and it was probably made in the 2000s, based on quality. It was in English, and probably American or Canadian. Had a year in the title (like 20xx), and maybe Mars was in the title as well? It was the second film in a trilogy, we accidentally rented it out of order. Earth has been blown up by aliens, and there are two kinds of aliens, the regular grey aliens and then alien-cyborgs made to look human. Stars a bald, light-skinned Black man with a mustache as the lead good guy, and the only other character I remember is a very buff woman who played a good guy cyborg-alien. Has lots of cheesy one-liners, like a woman is captured by the aliens and tied to a wall, and the alien torturing her has a drill bit come out of the top of his fist and he says, "You're screwed". Also has the line, "We don't just kill our enemies, we surprise sex them too", which was a riff on a line in the first film (which we ended up watching after this one), "We just kill our enemies, we don't surprise sex them too" (I do not remember context or anything else about those weird rear end lines). I tried going back through my Netflix history, but it only goes back to 2014.

Origami Dali
Jan 7, 2005

Get ready to fuck!
You fucker's fucker!
You fucker!


Sounds like a Roger Corman production

Ape Agitator
Feb 19, 2004

Soylent Green is Monkeys

College Slice

That or Charles Band. It would take you a while to get through his producer filmography but might be worth the check. Kind of makes me think of a Trancers sequel.

https://m.imdb.com/name/nm0023929/f...r?ref_=m_nmfm_1

Ape Agitator fucked around with this message at 16:09 on May 31, 2020

rodbeard
Jul 21, 2005



Charles Band has an insanely large output of barely an hour shared universe lovely horror movies that somehow survived the death of video rental stores despite forming his company to sell direct to video rental stores.

Origami Dali
Jan 7, 2005

Get ready to fuck!
You fucker's fucker!
You fucker!


Licensing out his catalog to services like Tubi and forming his own streaming service probably help keep Full Moon afloat. That, and producing softcore porn on the side.

Nemesis Of Moles
Jul 25, 2007




The name of this one is right on the tip of my brain - It's about someone walking home through the streets of, I think, new york at night, and it's a slightly older film (90s at the latest), and it was described as almost dreamlike with the weird characters he runs into by whatever internet youtuber probably recommended it. May have been a dark comedy - got it, After Hours

Nemesis Of Moles fucked around with this message at 22:39 on May 31, 2020

Skutter
Apr 7, 2007

I was curious to see how far you'd go to find me. Well, here I am.


Ape Agitator posted:

That or Charles Band. It would take you a while to get through his producer filmography but might be worth the check. Kind of makes me think of a Trancers sequel.

https://m.imdb.com/name/nm0023929/f...r?ref_=m_nmfm_1

Origami Dali posted:

Sounds like a Roger Corman production

Thanks for the suggestions, but neither one panned out. I do appreciate the link to Charles Band. I'm hosting a bad movie night for friends and he has some horrible-looking stuff.

Sir Nose
Mar 28, 2009


Skutter posted:

A sci-fi movie, rented from Netflix on DVD back in the late 2000s/early 2010s, and it was probably made in the 2000s, based on quality. It was in English, and probably American or Canadian. Had a year in the title (like 20xx), and maybe Mars was in the title as well? It was the second film in a trilogy, we accidentally rented it out of order. Earth has been blown up by aliens, and there are two kinds of aliens, the regular grey aliens and then alien-cyborgs made to look human. Stars a bald, light-skinned Black man with a mustache as the lead good guy, and the only other character I remember is a very buff woman who played a good guy cyborg-alien. Has lots of cheesy one-liners, like a woman is captured by the aliens and tied to a wall, and the alien torturing her has a drill bit come out of the top of his fist and he says, "You're screwed". Also has the line, "We don't just kill our enemies, we surprise sex them too", which was a riff on a line in the first film (which we ended up watching after this one), "We just kill our enemies, we don't surprise sex them too" (I do not remember context or anything else about those weird rear end lines). I tried going back through my Netflix history, but it only goes back to 2014.

Maybe Recon 2020/2022/2023 trilogy?

Retro Futurist
Aug 8, 2007

Yesterday's Tomorrow,
Today!


There was a horror movie coming out before everything shut down that looked good. 2 kids stuck in a cabin with their step mother/dad's girlfriend and she starts going crazy. Anyone remember the title?

E: The Lodge, found is 2 seconds later

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

The magnificent story of Dwayt al-Shrood.



GoldStandardConure posted:

there is a bit like this in the Riddick: Dark Fury short movie

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_C...dick:_Dark_Fury

This is pretty much it except I've never seen that movie and am pretty sure I saw it with real people. auugh

The_Doctor
Mar 29, 2007

"The entire history of this incarnation is one of temporal orbits, retcons, paradoxes, parallel time lines, reiterations, and divergences. How anyone can make head or tail of all this chaos, I don't know."


Retro Futurist posted:

There was a horror movie coming out before everything shut down that looked good. 2 kids stuck in a cabin with their step mother/dad's girlfriend and she starts going crazy. Anyone remember the title?

E: The Lodge, found is 2 seconds later

It came out, and itís a horror thread favourite!

Szurumbur
Feb 17, 2011


Hello

This is not a movie I'd seen, but I've gathered the info - although it's scarce, hopefully it's enough, and I'm interested in seeing it:

The premise of the movie is that a group of friends try to encourage the protagonist to do something, I think it's something bad/illegal, but the memories are vague on that front. At one point, there's a party, during which it's revealed that the whole group was actually recruited to do the encouraging, and are basically actors. Two of them (who played a couple a couple) revealed the ruse, and the fact that they both are gay.

It was seen about 10-12 years ago. No clue about the cast.

Hopefully someone here knows this movie:)

frankee
Dec 29, 2017



[quote="Mooseontheloose" post="505044694"]
I remember watching 3 minutes of a movie and I can never seem to find out what it is...

When I was younger, I was watching WNDS (a ind. New Hampshire station) that used to show all sorts of movies and this looked like a 70s or 80s movie, I am guessing horror. It was two military guys who are in a cave or in the jungle trying to find their way out and they are arguing they are going in circles, one of the guys says that he has been dropping ammo as a maker and they've come back and pulls a bullet out of the ground. I've never been able to find out what this movie is!

it might have been What Waits Below where some soldiers get lost in a cave

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088392/

Russian Guyovitch
Apr 22, 2008

Goodness no, now that wouldn't do at all!


Szurumbur posted:

Hello

This is not a movie I'd seen, but I've gathered the info - although it's scarce, hopefully it's enough, and I'm interested in seeing it:

The premise of the movie is that a group of friends try to encourage the protagonist to do something, I think it's something bad/illegal, but the memories are vague on that front. At one point, there's a party, during which it's revealed that the whole group was actually recruited to do the encouraging, and are basically actors. Two of them (who played a couple a couple) revealed the ruse, and the fact that they both are gay.

It was seen about 10-12 years ago. No clue about the cast.

Hopefully someone here knows this movie:)

This sounds vaguely like it couldíve been Go: https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0139239/

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth IK




Russian Guyovitch posted:

This sounds vaguely like it couldíve been Go: https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0139239/

I was going to say this. Thereís a bunch of stuff there that could be misremembered bits of Go.

Go is a really good movie, by the way. Watch it even if itís not the one youíre looking for.

Szurumbur
Feb 17, 2011


Russian Guyovitch posted:

This sounds vaguely like it couldíve been Go: https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0139239/


Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:

I was going to say this. There’s a bunch of stuff there that could be misremembered bits of Go.

Go is a really good movie, by the way. Watch it even if it’s not the one you’re looking for.

I've no idea if that's the one, but I'll check and we'll know - if it's a good movie, no waste in watching it anyway. Thank you very much!

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Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?


A spaghetti western where a clown gets involved in a shootout in a corral?

Also, repost

Milo and POTUS posted:

I remember a short film I saw on IFC years and years ago about a bunch of old men hiking in some germanic speaking country and they all get stuck one by one in a bog or something and resign themselves to die. I remember liking it but not if it was actually you know good. I think it might be noregian, danish or swedish but not positive. At the end of it all the old men start singing. I think some young woman out hiking discovers them while they're all trapped waist deep or something lol.

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