Gywneth Paltrow Is Selling A Candle That Smells Like Her VAGINA !!!

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Gywneth Paltrow Is Selling A Candle That Smells Like Her VAGINA !!!

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BIG-DICK-BUTT-FUCK: Jan 26, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

quote:

Actress Gwyneth Paltrow is selling a candle that smells like her vagina at $75 a pop for her lifestyle and wellness company Goop. The name of the candle is none other than, you guessed it, �This Smells Like My Vagina.�

Paltrow first came across a scent that she said reminded her of the smell of her own vagina, she claims. The scent was then finalized for the �This Smells Like My Vagina� candle, which reportedly sold out within hours of its test run.

�This candle started as a joke between perfumer Douglas Little and GP � the two were working on a fragrance, and she blurted out, �Uhhh � this smells like a vagina,'� Goop outlined.

The smell then �evolved into a funny, gorgeous, sexy, and beautifully unexpected scent,� according to the company.

�That turned out to be perfect as a candle � we did a test run � and it sold out within hours,� Goop bragged. �It�s a blend of geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed that puts us in mind of fantasy, seduction, and a sophisticated warmth.�

Goop, clearly, is not a traditional brand. In 2018, for example, the wellness company settled a six-figure lawsuit surrounding their �vagina eggs,� which were promoted to help regulate females� hormones and negate menstrual cramps.

�It turns out, contrary to Goop�s advice, shoving a large egg made out of a porous mineral into the recesses of your lady-regions may not be the best treatment for conditions like endometriosis,� The Daily Wire reported. �Apparently, Goop knew � or, according to a complaint filed by the California consumer protection office, Goop should have known before they marketed this product, as well as a �flower essence� they claimed treated depression, to consumers on their website.�

�The health and money of Santa Clara County residents should never be put at risk by misleading advertising,� the attorney for the California consumer protection office said in a statement. �We will vigilantly protect consumers against companies that promise health benefits without the support of good science � or any science.�

Paltrow again made headlines for her �progressive� ways last month, this time for gifting herself a vibrator for Christmas.

# ? Jan 14, 2020 19:08

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# ? Apr 20, 2024 12:53

BIG-DICK-BUTT-FUCK: Jan 26, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

# ? Jan 14, 2020 19:09

Kazak: Jan 10, 2012

Three guesses what I'm gonna do to the vagina candle

# ? Jan 14, 2020 19:10

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

I am glad another goon has taken up Lime Tonics's newsfeed thread gimmick, IMO.

# ? Jan 14, 2020 19:11

BIG-DICK-BUTT-FUCK: Jan 26, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

Anybody getting this candle so they can smell gywenth Paltrow's VAGINA?? :mmmhmm:

Wonder what it smells like .....

Anyways, let's post our trip reports of buying and using this candle ITT :coolfish:

# ? Jan 14, 2020 19:11

ShortyMR.CAT: Sep 25, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

I'm more surprised that this didn't exist already.

# ? Jan 14, 2020 19:12

HUG ME FOREVER: Dec 6, 2006; Gay for TF2!

All vaginas smell the same

Yeah I said it

# ? Jan 14, 2020 19:12

Quotey: Aug 16, 2006; We went out for lunch and then we stopped for some bubble tea.

discovered this on lowtax' apple pie site

Nadia's Famous Vageode� Cake

https://www.goldbelly.com/nadia-cakes/famous-vageode-cake?recomm_id=d9b291f8-df30-4813-91a0-67804f60c227&ref=reco

# ? Jan 14, 2020 19:12

pixaal: Jan 8, 2004; All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

First thoughts :barf:

Second thoughts, this is marketing genius. Perverts are going to buy a bunch, then buy more even if they smell bad. Like if you somehow made hundreds of thousands of candles that smell like rotting fish this is how you would sell them and get people to buy more of them. I assume someone just had really bad smelling candles and someone cracked a joke and they went looking for someone to market their smelly candles.

# ? Jan 14, 2020 19:13

Live Free: Jan 5, 2019; by VideoGames

making my butt smell like a vegina

# ? Jan 14, 2020 19:13

BIG-DICK-BUTT-FUCK: Jan 26, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

The male counterpart has been out for years, but the media refuses to cover it ... coincidence? I think not

# ? Jan 14, 2020 19:19

pixaal: Jan 8, 2004; All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

BIG-DICK-BUTT-gently caress posted:

The male counterpart has been out for years, but the media refuses to cover it ... coincidence? I think not

It smells like a dorm room in here!

# ? Jan 14, 2020 19:21

Universe Master: Jun 20, 2005; Darn Fine Pie

My dick just smells like Irish spring.

# ? Jan 14, 2020 19:27

Son of Rodney: Feb 22, 2006; ohmygodohmygodohmygod

If you reach a point in life where people buy a candle that smells like your vagina, then goddamn it, I respect that.

# ? Jan 14, 2020 19:28

Instruction Manuel: May 15, 2007; Yes, it is what it looks like!

hmmm you guys I don't think it actually smells like her vagina

# ? Jan 14, 2020 19:30

Mooey Cow: Jan 27, 2018; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Pillbug

75 bux is a lot to pay for a candle imo.

# ? Jan 14, 2020 19:45

Rad-daddio: Apr 25, 2017

to this entire drat thread.

# ? Jan 14, 2020 19:47

Chrs: Sep 21, 2015

Mooey Cow posted:

75 bux is a lot to pay for a candle imo.

Especially for one that makes you house smell like vaginas

# ? Jan 14, 2020 19:49

Rad-daddio: Apr 25, 2017

Chrs posted:

Especially for one that makes you house smell like vaginas

they could market it to incels

# ? Jan 14, 2020 19:49

Dell_Zincht: Nov 5, 2003

Chrs posted:

Especially for one that makes you house smell like vaginas

Not just any vagina, PEPPER POTTS' vagina

# ? Jan 14, 2020 19:50

Hammerite: Mar 9, 2007; And you don't remember what I said here, either, but it was pompous and stupid.; Jade Ear Joe

This Smells Like My Vagina is dripping wax everywhere!

# ? Jan 14, 2020 19:52

Mr. Meagles: Apr 30, 2004; Out here, everything hurts

Not interested. Let me know when there's a Pepper Potts' vagina flavored vape juice.

# ? Jan 14, 2020 19:55

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Fart scented candles are next!!
"this smells like rear end"

# ? Jan 14, 2020 19:57

William Henry Hairytaint: Oct 29, 2011

Props to anyone who manages to monetize their vagina without actually showing it to anybody. Just mad respect all around.

# ? Jan 14, 2020 20:10

pixaal: Jan 8, 2004; All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

Colonel Cancer posted:

Fart scented candles are next!!
"this smells like rear end"

"It is rear end"
"oh in that case" *inhales deeply* "it's quite good!"

# ? Jan 14, 2020 20:11

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

If you make the vagina candle shaped like a penis it can probably go to some modern arts museum

# ? Jan 14, 2020 20:13

kntfkr: Feb 11, 2019; GOOSE FUCKER

I've gone down on Gwennith [sic] Paltrow and can say with certainty that she is totally odorless. Everyone in Hollywood thinks it's weird and she's really self-conscious about it. This candle business is just her trying to squash rumors and the actual scent was obtained from Meredith Brooks. FYI

# ? Jan 14, 2020 20:17

pixaal: Jan 8, 2004; All ice cream is now for all beings, no matter how many legs.

Colonel Cancer posted:

If you make the vagina candle shaped like a penis it can probably go to some modern arts museum

Wouldn't that just be an unscented candle that was shaped like a penis and then used as a dildo? I bet there's a vending machine in Tokyo for this.

# ? Jan 14, 2020 20:18

Call Your Grandma: Jan 17, 2010

i hoep she does one for her feet next

# ? Jan 14, 2020 20:38

Shut up Meg: Jan 8, 2019; You're safe here.

�It�s a blend of geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed"

Does she have a garden stuffed up there?

# ? Jan 14, 2020 20:45

Ralph Crammed In: May 11, 2007; Let's get clean and smart

'Paltrow again made headlines for her �progressive� ways last month, this time for gifting herself a vibrator for Christmas.'

I bought a vibrator once while killing time waiting for a train, I'm ultra woke.

# ? Jan 14, 2020 21:11

The Walrus: Jul 9, 2002; by Fluffdaddy

lol bougie perfume indeed

(why isn't it bougie l'eau d'toilette)

# ? Jan 14, 2020 21:11

Colonel Cancer: Sep 26, 2015; Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

What's so woke about buying a vibrator anyways?!

# ? Jan 14, 2020 21:13

Happy Landfill: Feb 26, 2011; I don't understand but I've also heard much worse

Shut up Meg posted:

“It’s a blend of geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed"

Does she have a garden stuffed up there?

No, she just uses way too much Summer's Eve. She's got a mad yeast infection up in there

# ? Jan 14, 2020 21:34