Coronavirus 2021: I Threw Up On My Sheep

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Coronavirus 2021: I Threw Up On My Sheep

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

With 20% fewer boomers, maybe, just maybe, Gen-X and Millenials will see some of that social security money we've been paying into our entire lives.

# ¿ Mar 11, 2020 17:27

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 22:09

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

Burt Sexual posted:

My company of 70k employees just ordered full wfh and no travel ....except in emergencies

Mine has 60k employees worldwide. Certain sites in Europe and China have been closed, but my site is is a "Level 2" according to their chart, meaning "be prepared to begin working from home at a moment's notice".

I'm in STL. I think that "moment's notice" will be very soon since we recently had a confirmed case here.

A dude tested positive for corona then went to his Father-Daughter dance at school anyway, because you cant put life on hold right??

Their home is now apparently being guarded by cops since they've received so many threats for being so wreckless.

# ¿ Mar 11, 2020 18:06

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

pixaal posted:

Can we agree that yyyy-mm-dd is superior in every way to all other time formats and that the ~~entire planet~~ every country's date format is wrong? I can sort by year if year is first, that's normally what I want!

yyyy-mm-dd master race here. It just makes sense.

# ¿ Mar 11, 2020 19:14

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

Just use a wash cloth and do some laundry.

# ¿ Mar 14, 2020 15:23

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

Make sure you go to that goon's liquor store. The one who feels guilty that he has to keep his employees at work since the owners wont let him close due to high sales :cheers:

# ¿ Mar 19, 2020 23:41

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

Police should not have the power to force people to stay in their homes, so I'm glad there's no enforcement policy (in regions that I know of).
Some people will not self-isolate. That's just reality. No one, especially here, is going to change that with their logic and reason.
The people who do self-isolate are measurably helping themselves and others, and that will have to suffice.

# ¿ Mar 20, 2020 18:11

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

Fluffy Bunnies posted:

It won't and people will die because of it.

Of course they will. I've come to terms with that.

That being said, I haven't left the house since Monday. I am self-isolating because that's the best I can do.

# ¿ Mar 20, 2020 18:14

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

What kits are being used for detection? PCR-based?

# ¿ Mar 22, 2020 02:19

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

d0s posted:

I like how the "you're so essential we need you at the office even in a pandemic" folks are the ones making 30 grand a year or less while all the six figure people can stay home for a couple months and it's nbd, it's really cool and good

I mean, we can start paying grocery store cashiers 100k a year. The cost of groceries might go up, tho. Thanks, capitalism.

# ¿ Mar 22, 2020 02:47

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

Ginette Reno posted:

Had some gastrointestinal discomfort a few hours ago. Going to the bathroom seemed to relieve it. Feel fine otherwise though, and I'm not in an area where there are many confirmed cases yet. That could just mean a gently caress load of undiagnosed people though.

This poo poo is stressful as gently caress because any time you feel even remotely off you're gonna wonder if you caught the Roni.

Fear not, this is not a gastrointestinal disease. You probably just had some bad taco bell.

# ¿ Mar 22, 2020 04:07

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

Kibbles n Shits posted:

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/covid-19-digestive-symptoms-are-common

I know this thread moves fast, but this article doesn't show any evidence that covid 19 causes digestive issues. It just states that, uncommonly, a few patients had diarrhea too. You can have diarrhea, for example, and a cold at the same time. Doesn't mean everyone who shits or farts should start panicking.

# ¿ Mar 22, 2020 21:08

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

friendly 2 da void posted:

no they shouldn't, but COVID 19 absolutely causes digestive issues, as has been reported since the very beginning

as in... Study: Nearly half of COVID-19 patients experience digestive issues

The article I quoted stated that the most common digestive issue reported was lack of appetite. This one says diarrhea. So not only do we have two contradictory articles, but they're both possibly wrong as well. Wait for an official authority to comment directly.

The same one you quoted also stated that only 7% of patients did not report respiratory issues. The goon I was helping last night had no respiratory issues, so likely no need to panic.

If you have a fever and respiratory issues AND diarrhea, go get tested if possible.

If you only have the squirts, try not to sweat it.

Edit: If you do have all the symptoms, call a health provider for directions instead of running out and getting tested, thereby exposing others.

central dogma fucked around with this message at 21:35 on Mar 22, 2020

# ¿ Mar 22, 2020 21:27

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

Lol 4%. I'd be surprised if in all the world's population that at least 4% didn't have diarrhea at any given time.

Edit: ^^ yeah I think (I hope) that these reporters mean well, but now is not the time for haphazard reporting.

central dogma fucked around with this message at 21:44 on Mar 22, 2020

# ¿ Mar 22, 2020 21:41

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

JK Fresco posted:

https://i.imgur.com/9QVhBrN.mp4

Cops bad.

# ¿ Mar 25, 2020 21:42

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

My work just extended mandatory WFH until May 1st. Smart move.

# ¿ Mar 31, 2020 15:51

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

If you have a fever, whether it's the Corona or "just" the flu, you should self isolate. Hopefully the fuckers who come into work sick every flu season will quit that poo poo instead of trying to show how "devoted" they are to their jobs.

# ¿ Apr 3, 2020 14:21

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

Knut Wittkowski says if we had just quarantined the elderly and "at risk" while everyone got their mostly mild symptoms and got better, the pandemic would have been over by now.

*2000 likes on Facebook.

# ¿ Apr 8, 2020 15:16

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

Bistromatic posted:

has the finnish plague cloud simulation been posted yet?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZSKoNGTR6Q

Person should covered their mouth.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2020 20:53

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

Im Ready for DEATH posted:

school isn't about teaching kids, its about children storage, so their parents can labor

not only are their parents NOT laboring, we are paying them to sit around. this is a terrible return on investment for slaves.

therefore, schools will reopen.

Rick Sanchez, is that you?

Oh wait, he said school is not a place for smart people.

# ¿ Apr 12, 2020 19:03

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

The damage to mental health caused by quarantine, the 24 hour news cycle, and unemployment is going to cause much more harm to society than the virus itself. The virus is literally nothing compared to what we are doing to ourselves and others.

# ¿ Apr 13, 2020 15:05

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

Mozi posted:

*dead, six feet underground*

'well this could be worse, i could be stuck watching cable news all day'

People with severe mental health issues can literally feel this way, especially if they have suicidal tendencies exacerbated by self isolation.

# ¿ Apr 13, 2020 15:25

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

Mozi posted:

well i would say 'don't watch cable news' then. you can apply this precept generally across all time and space and benefit in terms of mental health without becoming any less informed

Yes, obviously. I'm not saying don't be informed or don't self-isolate (I haven't left my house for 4 weeks now, and happily) so y'all can put your pitchforks away.

# ¿ Apr 13, 2020 15:43

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

Kharmakazy posted:

No, that's definitely wrong. The virus has already killed over a hundred thousand people and isn't slowing down.

All these arguments about X thing being worse than the virus are beyond absurd to all but the most mentally ill observer.

Mental illness is a bitch. Domestic violence is awful. Nobody is rooting for these things, but they pale in comparison to the loss of human life that has already happened, let alone what is coming.

The economy "failing" will not kill more people than the virus. Suicides and murders aren't going to come close to matching these numbers.

To me, it sounds like someone is telling you that there is a murderer outside who wants to kill you, and all you want to talk about is how inconvenient it is not to be able to go outside where the killer is. Like, yeah... This sucks but it's objectively better than the alternative.

Let me restate what I originally said then. I was wrong when I said that side effects of the pandemic are literally worse than six figures people dying from it. I know that's what I typed, but that's not what I was trying to communicate, so please forgive me. You're right that anyone who thinks that any side effect is worse than literally >100k people dying has problems.

What I should have said was that this pandemic is having a much heavier toll on peoples' mental health than typical endemic viruses (such as the flu) that kill hundreds of thousands of people globally year after year after year. This is due to government irresponsibility, constant bombardment and reminders of this irresponsibility, and long periods of isolation.

Thank you for calling me out on it and correcting me, everyone.

# ¿ Apr 13, 2020 17:59

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

Spinz posted:

No problem

It's cool, we are literally scared of serious illness and death so we are touchy and defensive.

We are all in this together

Thanks for understanding :love:

# ¿ Apr 13, 2020 18:10

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

bird with big dick posted:

I read a Trump administration scientific paper stating that the coronavirus multiplies the quickest when in between 57.2 F and 190.4 F

Groundbreaking. I wonder if Trump has personally tweeted the NIH to let them know.

# ¿ Apr 14, 2020 23:58

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

A lot of parents I work with who are working from home now say it's a nightmare and I believe it. It's not that they don't love their kids, but they just can't work and teach their kids at the same time. They're getting stressed out and it's only been a few weeks.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2020 14:34

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

PederP posted:

A lot of parents who didn't bother to teach their kids to behave, have a modicum of patience, accept not being the center of attention and shut the gently caress up when the teacher is talking are getting self-owned these days. It's glorious.

Nice hot take. It takes time and effort to teach even the most well-behaved kids. So, how often do you post on r/childfree?

# ¿ Apr 15, 2020 15:29

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

Big Beef City posted:

I'm sure they weren't talking about your particular efforts to raise your awesome child or whatever, it's ok.

Oh, wow, thanks for chiming in buddy. I do feel much better now.

# ¿ Apr 15, 2020 15:51

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

Life will go on (unless you're over 70 or immunocompromised).

# ¿ Apr 17, 2020 20:32

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

I wonder how many times grocery washing has come up in this 800 page thread. Have goons agreed upon a consensus yet or has the famous hive mind misfired its single neuron?

# ¿ Apr 21, 2020 14:05

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

Yeah, but the US having the largest military budget in the world kinda makes it worth it?

# ¿ Apr 22, 2020 02:38

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

Spinz posted:

The worst news so far is this. Copied from the CSPAM thread, I'll link too
You should know. I hope they are wrong.
New preprint on aerosol transmissibility of SARS-CoV-2. Methods include nebulizer studies from 4 different labs. Results are uhh... something.

quote:
Infectious SARS-CoV-2 was detected at all timepoints during the aerosol suspension stability experiment (Figure 2). As shown in Figure 2a, a minor but constant fraction of the SARS-CoV-2 virus maintained replication-competence at all timepoints performed, including when sampled at 16 hours of aerosol suspension. This resulted in a remarkably flat decay curve when measured for infectivity, and failed to provide a biological half-life
...

Scanning electron microscopy (SEM) imaging of SARS-CoV-2 revealed virions that were heterogenous in shape, either ovoid (Figure 3A) or spherical (Figure 3B). The minor:major axis ratio of oval-shaped virions was approximately 0.7, which is consistent with prior SEM analyses of SARS-CoV-2. Airborne SARS-CoV-2 maintained the expected morphologies, size and aspect ratios up to 16 hours. Specifically, virions aged for 10 min (Figure 3C, D) or 16 hours (Figure 3E, F) were similar in shape and general appearance to virions examined prior to aerosolization, which is consistent with the retention of replication-competence.
...

These data suggest that SARS-CoV-2 generally maintains infectivity when airborne over short distances, in contrast to either comparator betacoronavirus. Results of the aerosol suspension experiments suggest that SARS-CoV-2 is persistent over longer periods of time than would be expected when generated as a highly respirable particle (2 μm MMAD).
...

Collectively, this preliminary dataset on the aerosol efficiency and persistence of SARS-CoV-2 suggest that this virus is remarkably resilient in aerosol form, even when aged for over 12 hours, and reinforces the conclusions reached in earlier studies of aerosol fitness by others. Aerosol transmission of SARS-CoV-2, whether through direct respiratory droplet transfer or fomite generation, may in fact be a more important exposure transmission pathway than previously considered. Our approach of quantitative measurement of infectivity of viral airborne efficiency complemented by qualitative assessment of virion morphology leads us to conclude that SARS-CoV-2 is viable as an airborne pathogen.

I read the paper. Their test was conducted with the same size aerosols produced by normal human breathing. No one has to even cough to shed the virions.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2020 05:19

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

4chan is a credible news source, right??

# ¿ Apr 22, 2020 13:45

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

Mnoba posted:

You can keep this type of posting in cspam and d&d with the other psychos btw, we don't do this in gbs.

Wow I didn't realize until now that cspam was different from D&D. Thought it was a nickname. After checking it out, wtf is CSPAM supposed to be? Looks like D&D with less moderation.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2020 14:24

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

Natalie Fartman posted:

I have a disease that fucks with your cell respiratory function, among other things. (look up a3243g for the curious - Basically I got some funky mitochondria). For the most part, I've mostly very mild symptoms and it could be a whole lot worse. I'm absolutely petrified of how this virus will gently caress things up for me for the rest of my life. The way it attacks the body seems to affect basically everything, not just the lungs. People recover with all kinds of organ damage. Heart, liver, kidneys, etc. And it gives people lower blood oxygen levels than the lung damage they received warrants. Its a respiratory virus alright, but not just affecting your breathing. I suspect that we will have a really high incidence of chronic disease once this pandemic has passed.

Having said that, I don't think I can avoid it. I'm going to get it eventually unless I lock myself in a bunker.

I'm not trying to downplay your fears or anything, but keep in mind that regular influenza can cause acute and/or permanent failure of multiple organs as well. This isnt unique to coronavirus.

I study mitochondria in my line of work, so I might have to read up about your illness out of curiosity.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2020 15:01

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

What is the longevity of coronavirus aerosols dispersed via tornado? :gonk:

# ¿ Apr 22, 2020 16:30

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

Louisgod posted:

^ lol

well since she's white she gets to have her way and be as disorderly as wants, whereas if she were black her and possibly her kids would be detained/arrested/dead, hope this helps clear up the situation.

Cops bad.

# ¿ Apr 22, 2020 23:45

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

I'm shocked that SA has so many milk production and supply experts! GBS is truly the Library of Alexandia of our time. We got experts on everything.

# ¿ Apr 23, 2020 19:12

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

Can't you just say you're susceptible to airborne diseases and high risk, and if they pry just say "HIPAA"?

# ¿ Apr 28, 2020 19:35

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 22:09

central dogma: Feb 25, 2012; Come to the Undead Settlement in the next 20 mins if u want an ash kicking

Ugly In The Morning posted:

That’s not how HIPAA works. There’s labor laws that could potentially cover that but HIPPAA isn’t one of them.

Thanks, wasn't sure. It still sounds like a better idea than assault though!

# ¿ Apr 28, 2020 20:21

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