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Asterite34
May 19, 2009




shame on an IGA posted:

That time the Hutts built a death star and the rebels hosed the pooch ten ways from sunday trying to stop them but it was okay because they used low-bid contractors for everything and cut the navigation system budget too close to the bone so it flew straight into an asteroid as soon as they tried to use it

You know people always poo poo on this, and yes it's an idea that probably can't support even a slim mass-market paperback, but I'm gonna go to bat for Darksaber as a concept. A bunch of hedonistic libertarian gangsters try and copy the Death Star, but cheap out on the armor, infrastructure, navigation and pretty much everything but the big doom laser itself, so it's just a big janky Groverhaus-esque piece of poo poo that's sorta terrifying until it plows itself into an asteroid field and kills itself? That's funny as gently caress in a shaggy dog story kinda way.

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Asterite34
May 19, 2009




SlothfulCobra posted:


Not too hard to look good against this lineup.



Man, IG-88 looked cool, even if he never did anything or even I think move? Just some impersonal Terminator thing without even a vaguely human face to attach any emotion to.

Wasn't it some Legends thing that he was some radical kill-all-humans type and wired his brain into the Death Star II's mainframe or whatever and was seconds away from transmitting a galaxy-wide mass robot uprising signal before it got blown up and nobody knew or cared? Lol

Asterite34
May 19, 2009




Man, Kevin J Anderson's stuff keeps writing stuff that sounds like a funny shaggy dog story when you sum it up in one sentence, but is sadly larded up into an entire book

e: Speaking of, was he the guy who wrote that story in I wanna say Tales from the Death Star about the random technician who was super gung-ho about firing The Biggest Gun Ever, and after Alderaan blew up realized "oh poo poo I singlehandedly pulled the trigger on the largest single act of genocide in galactic history" and was eaten up by remorse, so when they were getting ready to blow up Yavin he kept insisting they check and double-check everything and kept stalling for time, praying that something, anything, would come along and make it so he wouldn't have to fire the turbolaser again?

Asterite34 fucked around with this message at 18:18 on Dec 9, 2020

Asterite34
May 19, 2009




SlothfulCobra posted:

I can't remember how many people in Tales from Jabba's Palace end up dying when Jabba's barge exploded. I remember a lot of them looted whatever they could after Jabba died and ran.

And then a lot of the survivors got their brains taken out by the Bomarr Monks, who were the original builders of the palace and took back control after Jabba died. They even got a little aggressive baiting in more criminals to remove their brains. Weird guys.

Was that before or after the derelict palace was, due to no one having a copy of Jabba's will, repossessed by the bank and turned into the Tatooine Retirement Home for Aged Aliens?

...God the Jedi Prince books were weird...

Asterite34 fucked around with this message at 20:12 on Dec 9, 2020

Asterite34
May 19, 2009




Sodomy Hussein posted:

Every planet has a single biome and one underpopulated city, so it's more like every planet is just a backwater village in the middle of the same economic depression going on in the entire galaxy.

I mean, given that their ridiculous spaceship tech makes anywhere in the galaxy maybe a couple weeks away from anywhere else, if you could just spread out and claim a significant percentage of a PLANET rather than cramming yourself in with a couple billion chumps on just one, why wouldn't you?

Asterite34
May 19, 2009




skasion posted:

Han Solo’s evil cousin who looks exactly like Han Solo with a mustache

Isn't that just Burt Reynolds?

Asterite34
May 19, 2009




It really doesn't read like "Jedi aren't real" though, or even "Jedi couldn't do all the crazy poo poo we see them do," it's more that "The Force, as a metaphysical concept that binds all things together and guides destiny, isn't real."

Han is basically a smug disillusioned atheist who doesn't believe the cruel selfish universe he lives in is guided by any higher benevolence. Presumably he explains all the psychic Jedi powers as them just being mutants or something, ascribing their abilities to being closer to God.

Asterite34
May 19, 2009




Find/replace all instances of the word "Force" with "Plot" and you get a more honest Star Wars script.

e: Regarding the Force having any sort of will, wasn't George's vaguely alluded to ideas for the Sequel Trilogy gonna be about drilling down into what the Force actually is, with the implication it was gonna be, like, a galaxy-spanning artificial construct full of its disembodied transhuman builders subtly manipulating events, and being the actual literal "will" of the Force?

Asterite34 fucked around with this message at 22:29 on Feb 26, 2021

Asterite34
May 19, 2009




Bogus Adventure posted:

Lmao, is Motti just space Ben Shapiro? Bet his wife is super disappointed, lol.

She's a doctor and she assures him being drier than Tatooine is perfectly normal.

Asterite34
May 19, 2009




Cornwind Evil posted:

While perusing Wookipedia, I found this gem about TIE fighters.


So, you have a training process so severe that barely anyone makes it, and you put them in the sci fi equivalent of World War I planes which explode if something brushes them hard and train them that they're expendable.

No wonder the old EU had like 30 T.I.E variants: they kept trying to fix the product when it was the process that was the issue.

Or maybe this is just the concepts of 'The empire is HUGE' and 'We only follow around people with plot armor' banging together.

I mean, it is a GALACTIC empire, that graduating class of cadets could be a billion people to choose from, might as well get the top 100 million

Asterite34
May 19, 2009




I mean, "Tarkin wastefully puts all his eggs in one basket with a doctrine of a single overwhelming force based on coerced loyalty through fear that inevitably backfires catastrophically" is a tale as old as 1977

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Asterite34
May 19, 2009




skasion posted:

Darth Bane, legendary Dark Lord of the Sith and first teacher of the Rule of Two, was Australian

...like, Space Australia, or Actual Australia?

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