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Jazerus
May 24, 2011



post your favorite bizarre facts about the star wars eu here

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Jazerus
May 24, 2011



skasion posted:

Lando once hung out with a crooked cop who looked like Big Bird

lando once did a naked, oiled wall climb w/ his cyborg buddy lobot while c3po and r2d2 looked on, voyeuristically

Jazerus fucked around with this message at 01:02 on Jan 22, 2020

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



Waru was a trans-dimensional being hailing from a universe parallel to the galaxy's own. His species differed from those known to New Republic databases. Waru was considered a healer by many, due to his ability to treat injuries utilizing his own body. Physically, Waru was predominantly blob-shaped, and consisted of several golden plates acting as shields around a layer of raw, permeable tissue. A thick, syrupy liquid, comparable to ichor, flowed freely from within Waru through the spaces between the covering plates. The inside of Waru was much larger than the outside revealed, allowing three adult Humans enough space to swim through. Waru's interior was also breathable by Humans.

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



He's got his own planet,
Although it's kind of wild.
Wookiees love him.
Women love him.
He's got a winning smile!
Though he may seem cool and cocky,
He's more sensitive than he seems,

Han Solo,
What a man! Solo.
He's every Princess's dream!

composed and performed by noted artist C-3PO

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



Jazerus
May 24, 2011



Agnostalgia posted:

Actually wait, han got tortured by vader too wtf would he agree to that name either

leia literally remains traumatized by the memory of vader for like two decades, too. she named her child anakin while reviling his namesake

it's because they gave kevin j anderson the privilege of naming him, if you want the real reason. jacen and jaina have original names because an actual good author came up with them. if i remember right, the kja version of luke constantly badgers leia about forgiving vader and anakin's name is supposed to represent that he's getting through to her

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



Asgerd posted:

The Jedi let Ki-Adi-Mundi have a harem of five wives because his species was endangered

That must've boiled Anakin's piss so bad



this guy fucks

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



skynxnex

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



Pennywise the Frown posted:

Why do writers feel the need to create new (and horrible) species? Like, there are already 1,000 different types. There is more than enough material to have 10+ different species in every book ever made.

This is just ridiculous.

mostly because they don't read each others' work. most star wars authors, historically, started writing based on what they knew from the movies and a few plot points that lucasfilm wanted them to hit. having even a passing familiarity with the prominent species in the galaxy (according to the EU, because the movies avoid putting anything like that into context) was generally not a requirement.

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



greedo's corpse was juiced for whiskey flavoring by the bartender in mos eisley, due to his incredibly intoxicating aroma

Jazerus fucked around with this message at 03:00 on Jan 27, 2020

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



luke wanted to bone a ghost who lived in a computer, who was also into him. then she got a body but didn't want to bone luke anymore because a different author was writing that book, so she disappeared from star wars forever.

or so i thought until i looked at wookieepedia, which taught me that actually her soul was devoured by a dark side monster offscreen

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



Cage Kicker posted:

Corran Horn lol he has his own special suit and special lightsaber and special X-Wing and

reminder that the rightful title of this thread is, "Corran Horn hosed an otter, and other science facts"

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



ebe endecott 4 lyfe

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



this thread died when my original title, "Corran Horn hosed an otter, and other science facts", was changed. please restore it so we may thrive

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



Hazo posted:

What the gently caress


How has lightsaber knees not been posted in this thread before now

there's just too many science facts for any one thread to contain, frankly

but we'll try our best. for example, luke skywalker once fought space-velociraptors who power their technology matrix-style (with people!!). according to wookieepedia, they are an "intensely spiritual people", but their religion is mostly about racism.



haven't seen any explanation for what the gently caress is up with their noses tho. seems uncomfortable

Jazerus fucked around with this message at 05:14 on Aug 4, 2020

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



Big Beef City posted:

I have a question that this science based thread may be able to help with.

How do the prehensile nose-tendril soul vampire force dinosaurs put their harness vests on?

that's what that one human dude who's helping them hold down the imperial officer is for. he has known no life but servitude under the ssi-ruuk as "the vest guy"

also i never quite made the connection before but lightsaber knees is liefeld as gently caress. down to not even having his feet depicted at all

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



Polaron posted:

IIRC, he's basically their Force-sensitive Judasgoat. He'd convince the humans everything was fine right up until their souls got ripped out of their bodies and stuffed into a fighter drone.

well yeah but that's kind of a side gig compared to his vest duties i assume

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



following the cantina scene in the original movie, the two dudes who harassed luke (dr. evazan and ponda baba) went to live in a frankenstein castle, where they lured in the senator of ponda boba's home planet and transferred ponda's consciousness into the senator so that he wouldn't have to live with a missing arm. also, so that he could gently caress, because apparently ponda baba was extraordinarily ugly even for an aqualish

Jazerus fucked around with this message at 06:42 on Aug 14, 2020

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



Sexual Aluminum posted:

Somewhere in the New Republic, Han Solo is being MeTooed and his wife Leia has to denounce him.

buddy, leia is a racist ex-president who's the daughter of a war criminal and the mother of another one

i'm not sure she's going to be bowing to pressure from the left

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



Hazo posted:

I was rewatching clone wars yesterday and itís really remarkable how pivotal that single dumb loving book ended up being to Star Wars canon, both Legends and the real one. Darth Maulís resurrection, Ventressís backstory, whatever the hell is going on on Dathomir in Fallen Order (havenít gotten there yet)... itís honestly amazing.

dathomir is pretty cool it's just the rape gun that sucks

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



why does my thread title keep getting changed to be dull. this ain't star wars science, that's for the people who debate the specs of star destroyers

this is a thread about corran horn loving an otter, and other science facts

btw while star wars is the main focus please feel free to post other science facts as the mood strikes you. i would be particularly curious to see star trek EU as my only exposure to it is a couple of shatner novels and, well

Jazerus fucked around with this message at 03:56 on Nov 13, 2020

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



thanks. well, he really only did it once, so it's "hosed"

but the essentials are there and i appreciate the variety i think. declension is the spice of life

for reference i'd welcome title changes that followed the format "x, and other science facts" as i suppose corran horn isn't everybody's thing but the thread does need that certain factual mood

Jazerus fucked around with this message at 04:05 on Nov 13, 2020

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



Edgar Allen Ho posted:

Corda. Bien sucks, there I said it. poo poo character

i like him in i, jedi because he's just used as a mouthpiece to poo poo on kevin j anderson

i think that is the only legends book that explicitly revisits the events of another book and retcons the poo poo out of it

otherwise yeah. he's bad, op.

Jazerus fucked around with this message at 03:36 on Nov 16, 2020

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



SlothfulCobra posted:

I feel like when Star Trek gets weird it's less exciting because while Star Wars's weirdest stuff is off in little corners that probably never got editorial approval, Star Trek just has plenty of that poo poo in the show itself, so it's not like books can get that much weirder than Worf turning into a lobster and eating a crewmate or Janeway evolving into a lizard and copulating and laying eggs.

you're telling me that there's no gems in the shatner books? i can buy that the average trek EU book is basically a c-tier episode script and neither more or less weird than the shows. and it's been a long time since i read the first two shatner books, so maybe my memory is faulty here, but it felt like they were running away very quickly into crazytown

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



skasion posted:

Luke sold the burnt out husk of the Lars family farm to an alien named Throgg. Throgg was later dispossessed by Biggs Darklighterís dad, who convinced the local authorities to pass a racist ballot initiative to expropriate him. Facts

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



Toph Bei Fong posted:

That's how you do an effective continuity wank; use the aesthetic well and don't rely on folks having outside information to make the plot move forward. You don't need to "reward" fans for knowing who secretly blew out the birthday candles at Mon Mothma and General Dodonna's joint birthday party, prompting Booster Terrik to tell Mara Jade to propose to Luke (it was Carnor Jax, acting under orders from Lumiya).

bossk delivered the cake. the candles were a betrayal

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



the kids love dengar

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



Sodomy Hussein posted:

A lot of weird poo poo goes on at Tatooine for being such a "backwater"

it's still a place with like thousands of years of history

fun fact: tatooine was once a lush jungle world where the ancestors of the jawas and tuskens possessed a rich and thriving civilization capable of spaceflight

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



SlothfulCobra posted:

Also they made the planet of Evocar into their new homeworld, expelled the native Evocii to the moon Nar Shadaa, and terraformed their new planet into their version of paradise: A bunch of swamps. They renamed it Nal Hutta, which apparently translates into "Glorious Jewel" but that makes me uncomfortable about the etymology of the word Hutt.

as a hugely egotistical slaver culture it seems in character for the hutts to call themselves "the glorious ones" basically

Jabba the Glorious

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



remember that time luke decided it would be a great idea to establish his jedi temple in a bunch of sith pyramids haunted by a spooky sith ghost, then kept it there for like decades

i'm sure nothing bad could happen

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



skasion posted:

A swear phrase that you can say to yourself if you are frustrated or embarrassed is ďVaping Moffs!Ē

drat. no one ever told me the mofference was dank

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



it's hard to find a habitable planet that doesn't suck. everywhere you go you end up running into sith ruins, or bugs that eat people and then shapeshift into their form, or giant cubes of meat covered in gold. if you don't run into any of those things, then somebody probably got there first and they might not like you very much. people stick to coruscant, corellia, etc. because at least the only danger is from other people

not to mention that a solid 25% or so of the known galaxy is under libertarian administration as part of the corporate sector

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



Cerv posted:

makes you wonder why there's so much unknown space in the top left there, if anyone could just pop there and back in a day

they can't. travel is only that fast on the major hyperlanes. it's just that tatooine is a backwater because it's a total shithole, not because it's in the middle of nowhere; it's right off the primary lane from the core to the southern outer rim.

navigating the unknown parts of the galaxy is dangerous poo poo that only professionals and jedi do because you have to either stop and scan every so often to make sure you're not going to hit an uncharted black hole or something, or just trust in the force to guide you past all that poo poo. charting the galaxy is one of the only noticeable ways that the galaxy "progresses" in star wars.

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



hey, it's me, thrackan sal-solo. i'm han solo's evil cousin and i love the giant gun so much i tried to use it constantly for 20 years until they finally killed me

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



skasion posted:

Han Solo’s evil cousin who looks exactly like Han Solo with a mustache

and who hates han solo because han is the true heir to the ancient empire of corellia

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



the jedi academy trilogy had a subtle but awful effect on the whole rest of the EU by being so pivotal and yet full of dissonant details. leia in particular emerges from her time in the hands of kja as a caricature of an entitled rich white lady and rarely if ever goes back to being, uh, princess leia from the movies

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



what i'm getting from this is that anakin solo is a magical girl

Jazerus
May 24, 2011



Patrick Spens posted:

I have no idea what happens in The Crystal Star. I know that I read it, I can remember holding it and looking at the cover, but I have no loving clue what happens in those pages.

Jazerus posted:

Waru was a trans-dimensional being hailing from a universe parallel to the galaxy's own. His species differed from those known to New Republic databases. Waru was considered a healer by many, due to his ability to treat injuries utilizing his own body. Physically, Waru was predominantly blob-shaped, and consisted of several golden plates acting as shields around a layer of raw, permeable tissue. A thick, syrupy liquid, comparable to ichor, flowed freely from within Waru through the spaces between the covering plates. The inside of Waru was much larger than the outside revealed, allowing three adult Humans enough space to swim through. Waru's interior was also breathable by Humans.


Jazerus
May 24, 2011



corran horn paints his x-wing green to represent his past as a cop

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Jazerus
May 24, 2011



Toph Bei Fong posted:

The weird thing about Kevin J Anderson is that he's in the exact opposite position of where he should be. He has all these batshit, wonderful ideas that, in another writer's hands, could be really funny and interesting, but instead does the bulk of the writing for other people's ideas (Brian Herbert being the most notable example).

It feels weird to say, but can you imagine if KJA was just an ideas guy? Like, he goes on his daily hikes and just freeform speaks into his little tape recorder anything that comes to mind, and then the transcription gets handed off to someone with a better sense of pacing and description?

I say this as someone much more sympathetic to KJA than most.

no i totally agree. kja comes up with great outlines and then totally wrecks the execution. i don't even think it's necessarily a bad idea for him to be working within other people's fictional properties, it seems to be a constraint that he likes and performs well under. but then he actually writes and it falls apart in a hundred tiny ways. i have to wonder if his inability to read what he just "wrote", because it's all spoken, contributes to this dynamic of everything just being a little off-kilter

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