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Alright, I get it. You're some mid-level manager and you have to make numbers go up for the quarter, because that's what the holy scriptures command. What do you do? License a successful brand and slap it on your cheap-rear end dogshit! Post some great examples of lazy, nonsensical, or otherwise just terrible Star Wars merchandise. Some of you are probably going to push back on my first selection, maybe you're even ancient enough to have played on one. But come on: The Scout Walker Command Tower™ With Speeder Bike Ride™  This thing looks like a goddamn lawsuit waiting to happen. You can't tell me these things didn't get tipped over by kids. And if your kids didn't get crippled or killed by it then your wallet probably did. I bet the "4-SOUND ELECTRONIC CONSOLE" died after a few rainy days, which I'm sure endeared it to none of the parents who got suckered into buying this deathtrap. Next up is one of those inflatable lawn decorations:  This has gotta be fuckin Photoshopped, but I don't care, because I wanted to express my disdain for this. I'm already not a big fan of inflatable lawn decorations, but "well, some nerd's gonna want to put up Darth Vader, but their pisspot spouse won't let them because ~*~it's not holiday themed~*~... I know! Replace the lightsaber with a candy cane! Boom, sell it!" Really looking forward to the microplastics from this poo poo winding up in my bloodstream. R2-D2 Aquarium:  What the hell does R2-D2 have to do with loving fish?? Alright I'm done, now show us what kind of inane Star Wars merchandise you can dig up! (p.s. you don't need to bother with posting Funkopops because A) we already know they're irredeemable dogshit, and B) they're all artistically indistinguishable from each other anyway.)
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Jan 22, 2020 03:25
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Jan 22, 2020 03:26
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wrong thread but im posting it anyway
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Jan 22, 2020 03:26
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actually everything here owns
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Jan 22, 2020 03:27
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Oie Boie
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Jan 22, 2020 03:27
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Jan 22, 2020 03:28
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[video type="youtu"]FH7XZPq-v6E[/video] I don't know how to do this on my phone, help me
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Jan 22, 2020 03:30
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When The Force Awakens was soon to be released there was a ton of just regular groceries with Star Wars characters on the packaging, like a bag of Avacados with a loving Yoda sticker on it and SAY WHAT YOU WILL ABOUT JAR JARS TONGUE CANDY BUT AT LEAST IT'S A PURPOS EBUILT PRODUCT!!!
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Jan 22, 2020 03:35
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Cat Army
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Those avocados were specifically grown for Star Wars
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Jan 22, 2020 03:35
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Pick posted:[video type="youtu"]FH7XZPq-v6E[/video] Select a spot and then scroll the pop up over to “[video]” and it’ll let you paste a link with proper formatting
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Jan 22, 2020 03:44
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FH7XZPq-v6E Sweet! Thanks
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Jan 22, 2020 03:45
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dudeness posted:When The Force Awakens was soon to be released there was a ton of just regular groceries with Star Wars characters on the packaging, like a bag of Avacados with a loving Yoda sticker on it and SAY WHAT YOU WILL ABOUT JAR JARS TONGUE CANDY BUT AT LEAST IT'S A PURPOS EBUILT PRODUCT!!! Those are called makcar and they are grown on Yavin IV to help tend to the rebels' wounded.
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Jan 22, 2020 03:46
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The Han Solo branded Solo cups.
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Jan 22, 2020 04:48
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Roth posted:Oie Boie I really want to see this candy in action.
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Jan 22, 2020 04:56
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Roth posted:Oie Boie It was a lot of fun. I pretended to make out with JarJar to gross out my friends.
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Jan 22, 2020 05:11
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Roth posted:Oie Boie  I t-think I have memories of seeing this candy in some fancy store over here. Memories I buried in the dark deepness of my brain.
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Jan 22, 2020 05:24
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Jan 22, 2020 05:40
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The wine glass really classes it up I think
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Jan 22, 2020 05:41
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Jan 22, 2020 05:42
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Jan 22, 2020 05:42
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Jan 22, 2020 05:43
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Jan 22, 2020 05:43
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Jan 22, 2020 05:44
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This belongs in great Star Wars merch actually.
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Jan 22, 2020 05:44
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Jan 22, 2020 05:45
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Jan 22, 2020 05:46
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Jan 22, 2020 05:47
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never made, but
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Jan 22, 2020 05:47
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Roth posted:This belongs in great Star Wars merch actually. No it doesn't. Who the hell wants Darth Vader staring down at their junk bug-eyed in shock and disapproval as they're trying to take shower? Frankly, it's a little intimidating. Pick posted:never made, but Okay, this I need.
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Jan 22, 2020 05:47
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nine-gear crow posted:No it doesn't. Who the hell wants Darth Vader staring down at their junk bug-eyed in shock and disapproval as they're trying to take shower? Frankly, it's a little intimidating. Me
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Jan 22, 2020 05:49
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nine-gear crow posted:No it doesn't. Who the hell wants Darth Vader staring down at their junk bug-eyed in shock and disapproval as they're trying to take shower? Frankly, it's a little intimidating. just because no one wants it doesnt mean its not great
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Jan 22, 2020 05:49
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If it has the power of the dark side*, I'd use it. *enough power to pressure wash my b-hole.
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Jan 22, 2020 05:51
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Jan 22, 2020 05:52
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I got Darth Tater as a gag gift once.
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Jan 22, 2020 05:53
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Jan 22, 2020 05:54
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Roth posted:Me
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Jan 22, 2020 05:54
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Jan 22, 2020 05:54
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A formerly good apple that had all the flavor bred out of it in favor of looks and is now tastes more like pencil shavings soaked in apple juice. The perfect metaphor for Star Wars.
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Jan 22, 2020 06:10
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Jan 22, 2020 06:20
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Farmer Crack-rear end posted:Some of you are probably going to push back on my first selection, maybe you're even ancient enough to have played on one. But come on: I would have been old enough to have wanted this back in 83 or 84. gently caress you mom and dad for not buying this for me.
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Jan 22, 2020 06:23
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