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StashAugustine
Mar 24, 2013

Do not trust in hope- it will betray you! Only faith and hatred sustain.








TheKingofSprings posted:

I was thinking about this the other day, Palpatine should've been legitimately just a ghost in some kind of soul jar fuelling a bunch of old Sith weapons out of sheer hatred and he's only beaten when people work together to cut him off from the Force

Darth Nihilus was cool, yes

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zoux
Apr 28, 2006



muscles like this! posted:

The funniest part was Kylo being all "remember how I said they were nobodies? Well... they totally weren't but we're going to say they were even though it doesn't make any sense to word it that way and this is an extremely blatant retcon."
I haven’t seen it yet so what were his exact words walking it back, I find that choice to be super disappointing because Kylo's whole pitch to Rey, especially Driver's delivery of “say it...say it”, is some of my favorite acting in SW so to find out that was all lying in retrospect kills that scene. And it wasn't Kylo that said they were nobodys, it was Rey!

Shbobdb
Dec 16, 2010

by Reene


I had a fifth before I saw Rise so I had to pee a few times and may have missed some parts but I don't recall Kylo knowing who she was. He could have been told by Snoke she was a nobody and he ran with that, making it all plausible.

Palps knew but why would Kylo?

PeterWeller
Apr 20, 2003

I told you that story so I could tell you this one.


zoux posted:


And it wasn't Kylo that said they were nobodys, it was Rey!

This! For fucks' sakes this. So much of the discussion around that scene forgets that she says they're nobody. She learned that in the Dark Side butt. Kylo just adds the stuff about them being filthy junk traders and drunks.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

red bird

zoux posted:

I haven’t seen it yet so what were his exact words walking it back, I find that choice to be super disappointing because Kylo's whole pitch to Rey, especially Driver's delivery of “say it...say it”, is some of my favorite acting in SW so to find out that was all lying in retrospect kills that scene. And it wasn't Kylo that said they were nobodys, it was Rey!

He says something to the effect of "Your parents were nobodies though. They became nobody to protect you." He literally says the bolded part. He uses the Obi-Wan "from a certain point of view" bullshit technicality to square the circle and try to hoodwink the audience.

It's amazingly dumb and you can practically see Adam Driver trying not to gag as he says it. They find a way to do both Rey and Kylo dirty at the same time by not just retconning her Big Thing in the story, but forcing Kylo to be the one to tell her this time instead of doing it like they did in TLJ and have her reach the conclusion on her own like a big girl.

Doublestep
Sep 8, 2013



nine-gear crow posted:

He says something to the effect of "Your parents were nobodies though. They became nobody to protect you." He literally says the bolded part. He uses the Obi-Wan "from a certain point of view" bullshit technicality to square the circle and try to hoodwink the audience.

It's amazingly dumb and you can practically see Adam Driver trying not to gag as he says it. They find a way to do both Rey and Kylo dirty at the same time by not just retconning her Big Thing in the story, but forcing Kylo to be the one to tell her this time instead of doing it like they did in TLJ and have her reach the conclusion on her own like a big girl.

didn’t he say that after it was already basically confirmed she’s a sheevbaby? i hate tros but i read that more as him trying to comfort her than him knowing all along and lying

zoux
Apr 28, 2006



That sounds real bad

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

red bird

Doublestep posted:

didn’t he say that after it was already basically confirmed she’s a sheevbaby? i hate tros but i read that more as him trying to comfort her than him knowing all along and lying

I'm gonna be honest, Rise of Skywalker is kind of a scrambled mess of bad in my brain two months out now from seeing it so only the really pinnacle dumb poo poo bubbles up to the surface now, the finer details are lost in the mush. So gently caress if I know or care.

chitoryu12
Apr 23, 2014



nine-gear crow posted:

He says something to the effect of "Your parents were nobodies though. They became nobody to protect you." He literally says the bolded part. He uses the Obi-Wan "from a certain point of view" bullshit technicality to square the circle and try to hoodwink the audience.

It's amazingly dumb and you can practically see Adam Driver trying not to gag as he says it. They find a way to do both Rey and Kylo dirty at the same time by not just retconning her Big Thing in the story, but forcing Kylo to be the one to tell her this time instead of doing it like they did in TLJ and have her reach the conclusion on her own like a big girl.

It's not as bad as Oscar Isaac's delivery of "Somehow...Palpatine returned." He just looks so loving done with this movie, like even Poe can't believe the script at this point.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

red bird

chitoryu12 posted:

It's not as bad as Oscar Isaac's delivery of "Somehow...Palpatine returned." He just looks so loving done with this movie, like even Poe can't believe the script at this point.

That's been one of the silver linings of this madness. The joint interviews with Oscar Isaac and John Boyega where they want ramble about anything BUT Star Wars and when they're asked if they'd want to come back to do more movies or TV shows as Poe and Finn they both enthusiastically shout "NOPE! "

Gulping Again
Mar 10, 2007
It's ham, Jonathan! Do you understand? Ham!

Chuck Buried Treasure posted:

I was fine with most of the story bits on paper but it absolutely should have been two movies—ideally Disney would have actually planned out the trilogy in advance but making it a quintet instead of a trilogy would have worked too. Nothing gets built up to, it just happens and then we’re immediately rushed to the next setpiece because we don’t have time to let anything breathe. The opening crawl just being like “oh hey guys Palpatine is back” is the most obvious thing but the whole movie is like that.

This, really. ep 9 feels like two and a half movies' worth of Star Wars Things happening crammed into the runtime of one.

Smirking_Serpent
Aug 27, 2009






Buglord

remember when you had to play the fortnite special event to understand the opening credits of the ninth star wars movie lmao

chitoryu12
Apr 23, 2014



Smirking_Serpent posted:

remember when you had to play the fortnite special event to understand the opening credits of the ninth star wars movie lmao

It took me a while to understand what this joke meant and I was really mad when I found out.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

red bird

Smirking_Serpent posted:

remember when you had to play the fortnite special event to understand the opening credits of the ninth star wars movie lmao

THE DEAD GAME!

Pick
Jul 19, 2009



Nap Ghost

chitoryu12 posted:

It's not as bad as Oscar Isaac's delivery of "Somehow...Palpatine returned." He just looks so loving done with this movie, like even Poe can't believe the script at this point.

Smirking_Serpent
Aug 27, 2009






Buglord

like i don't really rewatch star wars movies that often so i was like wait when did the dead speak? did that really happen in the last jedi?

Smirking_Serpent
Aug 27, 2009






Buglord

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hd5gHzR8Wv4#t=180s

Doublestep
Sep 8, 2013



the opening scrawl happened in fortnite and then the only way you know Kylo was on a terraformed mustafar at the beginning of the movie is if you played the Vader Immortal VR game that explains that mustafar was a lava planet due to a sith crystal and you destroyed it

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

red bird

Doublestep posted:

the opening scrawl happened in fortnite and then the only way you know Kylo was on a terraformed mustafar at the beginning of the movie is if you played the Vader Immortal VR game that explains that mustafar was a lava planet due to a sith crystal and you destroyed it

And even that you can watch Palpy’s Fornite message on YouTube. It’s basically just ten seconds of Ian McDiarmid going “I’m back bitches, gently caress The Last Jedi!”

Angepain
Jul 13, 2012

what keeps happening to my clothes


The movie is perfect in that it has somehow been arranged so that nearly every possible alternative creative decision would have been more satisfying. Upon seeing the movie the viewer is almost forced into endless speculation about, what if this happened instead... what if instead if that, then... and so on, a nonstop itch in your brain. An itch that can only be scratched by elaborate fan fiction. JJ is a genius actually. The thriving fan community that will rise up from nerds coming up with elaborate schemes to unfuck his dumbass movie will make sure the star wars brand lives on forever. All according to plan

Gulping Again
Mar 10, 2007
It's ham, Jonathan! Do you understand? Ham!

nine-gear crow posted:

And even that you can watch Palpy’s Fornite message on YouTube. It’s basically just ten seconds of Ian McDiarmid going “I’m back bitches, gently caress The Last Jedi!”

Honestly Ian McDiarmid hamming out is the best gift Star Wars has ever given us. The man's straight up fun to watch go into full cackling villain mode.

That Old Tree
Jun 23, 2012

His phalanges creaked across the keyboard as he wrote his smutty trollings. He squirmed his pillowy hams into his computer chair in glee.

Something I found striking about TROS that sets it apart from all the other movies is that it largely abandons the most distinctive cinematographic tells of what "a Star Wars film" is. TFA and TLJ mix in more modern (less plodding) film techniques with all the old wide shots, relatively slow action and variety of transition wipes. TROS is much more of a standard modern action-y movie. It's visually chaotic in a way the other movies aren't, not just the breakneck shot editing but the camera whips all over the place and shakes around a lot more, the lazy man's "ACTION!" cue. It's not consistently visually "operatic" anymore, though there are obviously still giant fuckoff money shots, some of which were technically impressive. That rebel fleet at the end and the ensuing fight was just a beige blur of random objects for the most part, even during the "yeehaw the cavalry has arrived" part.

Were there even any transition wipes in it? I honestly can't remember, though I was admittedly exhausted and exasperated after the first two minutes.

That Old Tree fucked around with this message at 12:18 on Jan 23, 2020

Flavius Aetass
Mar 30, 2011

"what is a turpm" *throws mickeys bottle down*








But enough about your sex life

Mooey Cow
Jan 27, 2018



Pillbug

They say that Oscar Isaac didn't want his character to be killed off so soon and that's why he magically reappears later in TFA despite obviously dying, but considering how much he obviously hates the movies, maybe that's just Disney FUD

chitoryu12
Apr 23, 2014



Mooey Cow posted:

They say that Oscar Isaac didn't want his character to be killed off so soon and that's why he magically reappears later in TFA despite obviously dying, but considering how much he obviously hates the movies, maybe that's just Disney FUD


He was happy for the first two movies, at least. There were no expectations of anything else yet, so he wanted to be around for longer instead of dying in the third scene of the movie and all the cast became good friends. It really does seem like the first thing that started cracking them was poo poo like Kelly Marie Tran getting bullied off social media for daring to be an Asian woman who wasn't a background character, and then Rise of Skywalker being an awful cut-and-paste hack job finally drove the wedge between them and Star Wars.

DemoneeHo
Nov 8, 2017

Think paw-sitive


Angepain posted:

The movie is perfect in that it has somehow been arranged so that nearly every possible alternative creative decision would have been more satisfying. Upon seeing the movie the viewer is almost forced into endless speculation about, what if this happened instead... what if instead if that, then... and so on, a nonstop itch in your brain. An itch that can only be scratched by elaborate fan fiction. JJ is a genius actually. The thriving fan community that will rise up from nerds coming up with elaborate schemes to unfuck his dumbass movie will make sure the star wars brand lives on forever. All according to plan

So you're saying that JJ is Todd Howard and his Star Wars films are the latest bug-ridden and incomplete Bethesda games

Shrecknet
Jan 2, 2005


Kaysette posted:

Why do people keep letting JJ do this. After what he did with the first two Star Trek movies how tf did this seem like a good idea.

And Star Trek 3 was really good when they (surprise) brought in a director who was good at shooting fun action movies (Justin Lin)

A Gnarlacious Bro
Apr 25, 2007

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS


Kaysette posted:

Why do people keep letting JJ do this. After what he did with the first two Star Trek movies how tf did this seem like a good idea.

JJ is literally just a gestalt projection of hollywood. He IS hollywood and his presence on a film is like the default for any brand activation movie/tv show.

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

~this is me posting irl~



lmbo

Incoherence
May 22, 2004

POYO AND TEAR


PeterWeller posted:

This! For fucks' sakes this. So much of the discussion around that scene forgets that she says they're nobody. She learned that in the Dark Side butt. Kylo just adds the stuff about them being filthy junk traders and drunks.
The implication of that scene for me was that, like the scenes in TFA where Rey learns most of what she knows about the Jedi by reading Kylo's mind, she's learning that from him and then just saying it out loud.

zoux
Apr 28, 2006



Incoherence posted:

The implication of that scene for me was that, like the scenes in TFA where Rey learns most of what she knows about the Jedi by reading Kylo's mind, she's learning that from him and then just saying it out loud.

Well that would directly contradict the "you know, you've always known" thing, I think she literally did know and was in denial about it, or at least until TROS changed all that.

cams
Mar 28, 2003



tlj was an interesting story that democratized the force and returned it to the people

tros said "gently caress that, noble bloodlines matter more than anything. also that kid with the broom is dead."

Shrecknet
Jan 2, 2005


cams posted:

tlj was an interesting story that democratized the force and returned it to the people

tros said "gently caress that, noble bloodlines matter more than anything. also that kid with the broom is dead."

Strong words from the man who cocks his shotgun fist.

zoux
Apr 28, 2006



cams posted:

tlj was an interesting story that democratized the force and returned it to the people

tros said "gently caress that, noble bloodlines matter more than anything. also that kid with the broom is dead."

Did they really kill Broom Kid

cams
Mar 28, 2003



zoux posted:

Did they really kill Broom Kid
he dies offscreen in the big palpatine battle, but you have to buy 6 boxes of the star wars cereal and paste them all together to find out. it is also revealed there that he's qui gon jin's grandson.

zoux
Apr 28, 2006



He will return as Darth Swiffer

Incoherence
May 22, 2004

POYO AND TEAR


zoux posted:

Well that would directly contradict the "you know, you've always known" thing, I think she literally did know and was in denial about it, or at least until TROS changed all that.
She had suspicions about it, but still needed someone to finally confirm it for her.

Heather Papps
Nov 1, 2007


hello internet friend





What a child, brb gonna write a thousand word screed about it

Technowrite
Jan 18, 2006

I first battled the Metroids on Planet Zebes.

yo yo yo PALPATINE FUCKS.

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Heather Papps
Nov 1, 2007


hello internet friend





Technowrite posted:

yo yo yo PALPATINE FUCKS.

I'm back baby, and guess what...

I gently caress

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