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Technowrite
Jan 18, 2006

I first battled the Metroids on Planet Zebes.

LONG HAVE I WAITED

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PeterWeller
Apr 20, 2003

I told you that story so I could tell you this one.


Incoherence posted:

The implication of that scene for me was that, like the scenes in TFA where Rey learns most of what she knows about the Jedi by reading Kylo's mind, she's learning that from him and then just saying it out loud.

The implication for me was that she learned who her parents were when she was in the Dark Side butt looking in the mirror and saw two indistinct nobodies come together to form her reflection.

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005



I assume part of the main cast saying they don't want to do any more Star Wars has to do with the reportedly terrible filming conditions for RoS with reshoot after reshoot and no idea what the movie was actually going to turn out like.

Ariong
Jun 25, 2012

Paying someone nine hundred US dollars to draw a dog man with neon green fur getting ram jammed by Sonic the Hedgehog is the ONLY ethical consumption under capitalism.


Kaysette posted:

sheev did a big cum in someone and now we have TROS

Do you think the face Sheev makes when he blasts someone with force lightning is the same face he makes when he blasts someone with his evil baby juice?

Halloween Jack
Sep 11, 2003

Let your word be "Yes, Yes" or "No, No"; anything more than this comes from the evil one.



He cums lightning, obviously.

TremorX
Jan 19, 2001

All Hail Big Hairy Mike



PeterWeller posted:

The implication for me was that she learned who her parents were when she was in the Dark Side butt looking in the mirror and saw two indistinct nobodies come together to form her reflection.

It was kind of a powerful moment -- it almost seemed to say that it didn't matter who her parents were, she was the one responsible for who she was.

TROS: "LOL nah"

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008


“I’ll have to get you to excuse me, my friend, I ain’t no hat-rack.”

Fun Shoe

the dead gently caress!!

That Old Tree
Jun 23, 2012

His phalanges creaked across the keyboard as he wrote his smutty trollings. He squirmed his pillowy hams into his computer chair in glee.

Ariong posted:

Do you think the face Sheev makes when he blasts someone with force lightning is the same face he makes when he blasts someone with his evil baby juice?

He definitely yells "Unlimited power!" when busting.

He was definitely gluing his pants on when zapping Mace Windu.

zoux
Apr 28, 2006



Wait who are Rey's parents

Don Dongington
Sep 27, 2005

#ideasboom

College Slice

zoux posted:

Wait who are Rey's parents

So it turns out Sheev FUCKS,

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

red bird

zoux posted:

Wait who are Rey's parents

Literally not important. The movie doesn't even tell you which one of them was Palpy's kid.

Ariong
Jun 25, 2012

Paying someone nine hundred US dollars to draw a dog man with neon green fur getting ram jammed by Sonic the Hedgehog is the ONLY ethical consumption under capitalism.


nine-gear crow posted:

Literally not important. The movie doesn't even tell you which one of them was Palpy's kid.

At some point someone says that Palpatine had a son. I don’t remember who said it, but I distinctly remember it being said. So, Sheev is Rey’s paternal grandfather. Her dad’s Y chromosome comes from Palpatine’s nut.

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
mottled gecko

Nap Ghost

nine-gear crow posted:

Literally not important. The movie doesn't even tell you which one of them was Palpy's kid.

Mace whindu

MonsieurChoc
Oct 12, 2013

Every species can smell its own extinction.




Ariong posted:

At some point someone says that Palpatine had a son. I don’t remember who said it, but I distinctly remember it being said. So, Sheev is Rey’s paternal grandfather. Her dad’s Y chromosome comes from Palpatine’s nut.

Triclops is canon again.

chitoryu12
Apr 23, 2014



I did the math and assuming the actor is about the same age as his character, Palpatine probably hosed after he became gross and shriveled.

Colostomy Bag
Jan 11, 2016

C-Bangin' it



There's someone for everyone.

PeterWeller
Apr 20, 2003

I told you that story so I could tell you this one.


TremorX posted:

It was kind of a powerful moment -- it almost seemed to say that it didn't matter who her parents were, she was the one responsible for who she was.

TROS: "LOL nah"

I forgot, she even says, "show me my parents" in that scene.

Colostomy Bag posted:

There's someone for everyone.

It's that blue lady who's always hanging around in RoTS.

Poopernickel
Oct 28, 2005

electricity bad

Fun Shoe

No no guys, you don't understand how awesome this will be, let me explain again -

You see, turns out Palpatine WASN'T killed, and also he's like 10 times more evil now and also a robot. Also the sith have a whole Evil Planet where they do Evil, and Robo Palpatine builds a whole FLEET of star destroyers, only now they're planet destroyers, and

Poopernickel
Oct 28, 2005

electricity bad

Fun Shoe

Did anybody else wonder about the logistics of building and staffing a large fleet of ships around a planet that literally nobody can get to without a transceiver that's been missing for like 50 years?

And also lol @ the idea that they only built two - guess the Sith planet must have had a lot of gardeners because they sure weren't trading for food.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


"We'll call them...... planet destroyers"

"Sir a star is bigger than a planet"

"What?"

"They were called star destroyers. Stars are huge and really hard to blow up. Blowing up a planet is honestly a step down."


......

"What??"

Poopernickel
Oct 28, 2005

electricity bad

Fun Shoe

Things that were useless and dumb about the movie:

- the first 7 minutes of every lightsaber battle
- the whole "C3PO knows the way" subplot that was literally just abandoned after 30 minutes of dedicated screen-time (also lol @ inscribing on a magic dagger instead of just making a log entry or something)
- whatever the gently caress Finn was doing on the outside of the star destroyer that ultimately got blown up without his help

Poopernickel
Oct 28, 2005

electricity bad

Fun Shoe

Now that I think about it, Finn's 2 out of 3 for "crucial to a subplot that doesn't matter at all" in his movie appearances.

Poopernickel fucked around with this message at 16:27 on Jan 24, 2020

Poopernickel
Oct 28, 2005

electricity bad

Fun Shoe

reignofevil posted:

"We'll call them...... planet destroyers"

"Sir a star is bigger than a planet"

"What?"

"They were called star destroyers. Stars are huge and really hard to blow up. Blowing up a planet is honestly a step down."


......

"What??"

Heather Papps
Nov 1, 2007


hello internet friend





Poopernickel posted:

No no guys, you don't understand how awesome this will be, let me explain again -

You see, turns out Palpatine WASN'T killed, and also he's like 10 times more evil now and also a robot. Also the sith have a whole Evil Planet where they do Evil, and Robo Palpatine builds a whole FLEET of star destroyers, only now they're planet destroyers, and

This was maybe the 40th uncontrolled burst of laughter and my brother and I locked eyes, said "glados" and just

I had to leave. I have never laughed so hard at a film in my life.

C-Euro
Mar 20, 2010



Soiled Meat

Heather Papps posted:

This was maybe the 40th uncontrolled burst of laughter and my brother and I locked eyes, said "glados" and just

I had to leave. I have never laughed so hard at a film in my life.

Honestly I had the exact same thought. Should have just been a Force ghost! Or a dude in a jar, I don't know.

Chuck Buried Treasure
Dec 27, 2010



reignofevil posted:

"We'll call them...... planet destroyers"

"Sir a star is bigger than a planet"

"What?"

"They were called star destroyers. Stars are huge and really hard to blow up. Blowing up a planet is honestly a step down."


......

"What??"

They’re called star destroyers because they are destroyer-class ships, but in space. User loses posting privileges for 1 month.

Chuck Buried Treasure
Dec 27, 2010



C-Euro posted:

Honestly I had the exact same thought. Should have just been a Force ghost! Or a dude in a jar, I don't know.

Yeah when I first read the leak that Palpatine was back I thought it was cool because I assumed it was going to be his spirit and it would be like an evil inverse of Obi-Wan guiding Luke after death. Like Palps saw some potential in Snoke and inducted him into the Sith from beyond the grave, then shifted to Kylo or even Rey once Snoke was dead. Oh well.

2house2fly
Nov 14, 2012

You did a super job wrapping things up! And I'm not just saying that because I have to!

I'm going to go out on a limb and say The Rise Of Skywalker isn't a movie, it's a Disney product carefully assembled in such a way as to minimize potential fan backlash. Any creative decision was filtered through "what will a hypothetical Star Wars fanatic think about this" as determined by Disney corporate suits and it's pointless to even attribute anything to JJ because who knows what decisions were his and which ones he fought against and bitterly resents their inclusion.

Also I think Ochi was sent to retrieve the wayfinder from the death star ruins so that nobody else could find it and use it to get to Exogol, and the directions to where it was were written on the dagger in Sith script as a cipher. I also think R2D2 restoring C3PO's memory because he's his best friend was good.

Some Goon
Jan 6, 2013

A golden helix streaked skyward from the Helvault. A thunderous explosion shattered the silver monolith and Avacyn emerged, free from her prison at last.



That was The Force Awakens dude

Xaris
Jul 25, 2006

Jacking Out; Jacking In




2house2fly posted:

Any creative decision was filtered through "what will a hypothetical Star Wars fanatic think about this" as determined by Disney corporate suits and it's pointless to even attribute anything to JJ because who knows what decisions were his and which ones he fought against and bitterly resents their inclusion.

lol you're giving JJ too much credit here, he is a creatively-bankrupt corporate suit

zoux
Apr 28, 2006



nine-gear crow posted:

Literally not important. The movie doesn't even tell you which one of them was Palpy's kid.

Oh so she's Palpatine's granddaughter, not related to the skywalkers at all I see. Like I said I skimmed the wiki article

Did they ever explain how Luke's lightsaber ended up with the myopic alien lady

cams
Mar 28, 2003



the lesson of rise of skywalker is that we make our own destiny and are who we choose to be, as long as we are choosing one of two noble bloodlines that are imbued with godlike powers.

PeterWeller
Apr 20, 2003

I told you that story so I could tell you this one.


Chuck Buried Treasure posted:

They’re called star destroyers because they are destroyer-class ships, but in space. User loses posting privileges for 1 month.

They're actually cruiser class ships, though.

Flavius Aetass
Mar 30, 2011


zoux posted:

Did they ever explain how Luke's lightsaber ended up with the myopic alien lady

lol what do you think

Halloween Jack
Sep 11, 2003

Let your word be "Yes, Yes" or "No, No"; anything more than this comes from the evil one.



A story for another time, probably in a few years, when you've forgotten what a hash we made of this and you're ready to buy more toys.

Chuck Buried Treasure
Dec 27, 2010



zoux posted:

Did they ever explain how Luke's lightsaber ended up with the myopic alien lady

I never got why this was such a sticking point for so many people. It fell down a big hole, some scavenger found it and recognized what it was and sold it to Kanata because she trades in weird old relics. Whatever.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

red bird

Flavius Aetass posted:

lol what do you think

Even better, Luke's lightsaber is literally torn in two at the end of TLJ as a big giant unsubtle way of saying STOP OBSESSING OVER LUKE'S lovely LEGACY AND FORGE YOUR OWN, leading you to think Rey will begin Ep 9 with her own new saber like Luke does in Return of the Jedi.

And instead she just duct tapes Luke's saber back together again and uses it for 99% of the film, continuing to ape off his legacy.

zoux
Apr 28, 2006



Chuck Buried Treasure posted:

I never got why this was such a sticking point for so many people. It fell down a big hole, some scavenger found it and recognized what it was and sold it to Kanata because she trades in weird old relics. Whatever.

It fell down a big hole into a gas giant.

nine-gear crow
Aug 10, 2013

red bird

zoux posted:

It fell down a big hole into a gas giant.

There's a Star Wars kids book where someone finds Darth Vader's glove even though Luke burned his suit to ashes on Endor. It is treated as the same kind of mystical Mcguffin that Luke's saber is in the ST and I think it gets the same level of explanation for why its there in the plot too.

The Sequel Trilogy are just the Jedi Prince kids books made canon.

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C-Euro
Mar 20, 2010



Soiled Meat

2house2fly posted:

I'm going to go out on a limb and say The Rise Of Skywalker isn't a movie, it's a Disney product carefully assembled in such a way as to minimize potential fan backlash. Any creative decision was filtered through "what will a hypothetical Star Wars fanatic think about this" as determined by Disney corporate suits and it's pointless to even attribute anything to JJ because who knows what decisions were his and which ones he fought against and bitterly resents their inclusion.

The biggest Star Wars nerd (self-proclaimed) that I know hated TLJ and said that TROS "redeemed the sequel trilogy" for him. Sadly I hadn't seen it yet when he said because I would have loved to take a deeper dive into that.

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